The Bucket List
by baybie
Summary: She was his best friend and a sex addict. When situations force her to evalute herself, she decides she needs to find some meaning to her life before she has to say goodbye. Rated for sex, language and drugs. Randy,OC, John, Jeff, Maria, Taker, etc R
1. Chapter 1

**AN: So this is my second story. The first one, Broken, is not finished as I'm trying to get out of the mindset of just killing them all. I thought maybe writing another one would sort that out for me. Sorry to all my readers for that, I promise to update soon. Please give this one a chance. Rated for loads of sex, language and drug refs. I've got about 11 chapters of it but I'm liking it. It won't be a long one, I don't think.**

**DISCLAIMER: I own noone and nothing. Thanks to the wwe for all the hot inspiration.**

**NOTE: Some of the storylines have been changed to suit me. Don't hate.**

Rae Taylor had a bucket list. You know, things to do before you kick the bucket. She'd had it for more than a year now as a way to come to terms with her mother's death. She'd done most of it; sky diving, scaling the Himalayas, watching the sunset from the top of Mount Kilimanjaro, bunjee jumping out of a plane, threesomes, foursomes, the lot. She'd even gone trekking in some very remote places and met some amazing people. It had changed her life somewhat.

Actually, it had changed her life a lot. Until two weeks ago, she had really believed she had quite a bit of time to do everything on her list. It was ironic really. Ironic but not surprising. Life was never fair. You're here one day and gone the next.

A year and a half ago she had lost her mother to cancer. She had only been 41, a life taken way too soon. For three years prior she had watched as the disease had ravaged her body and the doctors had put her through grueling sessions of chemotherapy and radiation. Three years she had watched her mother waste away right in front of her eyes, watched her slowly and painfully die. And all the while they had lived with the stupid hope that she would beat it. The doctors had been so wrong...

They had also been wrong about her dad... Well, step dad, actually. He had been taken from them ten years ago when she had been only fifteen. Cancer as well, but he'd lost his battle after only a year. It was as he lay on his death bed that he had revealed the truth to her, that he was not her real father. She had been angry with him a long time after they had buried him, angry that neither he nor her mother had trusted her enough to let her know sooner. She would have loved him anyway for loving her when another man had so obviously deemed her unworthy. It was only when her real father found her almost a year later that she had let go of her anger and finally grieved for the man who had given her his name.

The taxi came to a stop at the exclusive hotel in Orlando and she let out a calming breath. This was it. The beginning of the end. She was here to carry out the last few things on her bucket list, the hardest things. She was here to say goodbye.

* * *

"Man, you are such a dick! That girl has been in love with you for ages and you took advantage of that," John said.

"Hey, all I ever offered was one night and she took the deal," Randy said as he sipped a beer. "It's not my fault she thought her pussy would be special enough to change that!"

"So you just fucked her and threw her out?" Adam asked.

"Of course," Randy answered, as if Adam had just asked the most stupid question on earth. "What, did you want me to give her a medal?"

"You are so full of yourself," Shelton laughed. "One of these days you're going to fall in love so bad and that girl will rip your heart out."

"Quit talkin out of your ass! There's no such thing as love," Randy frowned. "Mickie is fine. In fact, I know this dick right here was the first one to console her."

Adam laughed at the accusation.

"Hey, I saw a damsel in distress and I did what I could to make her feel better."

"Yeah. But if she'd really been in love, she wouldn't have jumped straight into your bed."

There was a knock at the door and, frowning, Randy got up to answer it.

"If that's her now, I'm slamming the door in her face."

His cold expression turned into a big smile when her saw who stood in front of him.

"Well, well, well," he said, leaning his body against the door frame and crossing his arms. "The prodigal returns. And still looking good enough to eat."

"This right here," Rae said, indicating her face and body, "doesn't just go away. It's a curse."

Laughing, Randy pulled her into his arms for a fierce hug.

"I've missed you so much, you wouldn't believe it," Randy said, his voice muffled in her thick curtain of golden curls.

"Of course I'd believe it. What's not to miss?" she laughed as Randy gave her a twirl. "But I missed you, too."

"It's only been two months!" John called out.

Rae looked over Randy's shoulder to see the other guys in the room. See, normally, this would have been her playground; a room full of hot, muscular men that looked like they could handle their business. But all that had changed now...

"Johnny boy," she said, using the nick name he hated so much. "I see you've still got that stick up your ass."

"Trust me, it gets thicker and thornier everyday," Randy laughed as picked up her bag and led her into the room.

"Come over here and give me some love," she laughed. "And I'm glad you've been counting the days, it shows you _have_ missed me."

John laughed as he made his way to her.

"I always count Rae-free days," he said as he also gave her a big hug. "They're like vacations."

"Speaking of which, where have you been this time?" Randy asked. "You couldn't call anybody?"

He knew about her 'Bucket list' and thought it was a bit silly. How could anyone live when they expected to die any minute? But he humoured her because he knew it had helped her through one of the most difficult times of her life. He had felt completely useless when faced with her overwhelming grief when her mother had died and she'd suddenly realised she didn't really have anyone else but him.

"I went somewhere in Columbia. I've actually been back a while. I just needed about a week's sleep to function properly. You wouldn't believe the size of the spiders I saw in that jungle, I couldn't sleep at all!"

All the men looked at her as if she was crazy.

"You went to Columbia?! By yourself?" Randy asked. "Why would you do a shit crazy thing like that?"

"They have excellent drugs!" Rae teased. "And I had plenty of company. Relax, I was never in any danger."

Shaking his head, John led her to the seat he had just vacated and offered her a drink.

"What, you don't introduce people where you come from, John?" Adam asked, his eyes on the incredibly gorgeous woman who had just walked in.

"Oh, sorry. You guys have never met, have you?" John said. "This is Rae Taylor, Randy's other half."

Both Shelton and Adam turned to look at Randy then.

"Not like that you twits!" Randy said. "We've been friend since forever, that's all."

Randy couldn't be sure but he thought he saw a look of relief in both the men's eyes. He had to laugh at that. What, did they think they stood a chance because she wasn't his woman? Compared to her, these men were just little boys. She would chew them up and spit them out without even blinking an eye!

"You're just in time, Rae. John and I were just about to go out," Randy said.

"Well, in that case, let me slip into something more comfortable. I'm in desperate need of a bit of loud music and plenty of booze."

* * *

"Mmm mmm mmm! Look at the butt on that one," Rae commented as she took a sip of her drink, her piercing blue eyes never once leaving the beautiful brunette grinding on the dance floor.

Randy turned to look as well and nodded his head.

"She'll do."

"She'll do? Is that the best you can come up with? Come on, look at her. She's the picture of perfection," Rae argued.

"Yeah, but she looks a bit like she's trying too hard," Randy put in.

True, most of the girl in the exclusive club, having noticed the WWE superstars drinking at the bar, were trying their best to be noticed. It always amused Rae, how some of them would do anything to be the next notch on the wrestlers' bed posts.

"Ain't nothing wrong with trying too hard, Randy. The harder they try the better they please," she chuckled.

"Will you guys just stop," John Cena snapped with a disgusted look on his face. "Besides, Rae, she don't look like she swings that way."

"Correction, John. She probably _thinks_ she doesn't swing that way. Just wait till I get my hands on her," she laughed.

"What are you guys up to, anyway?" John questioned.

He'd known his friends long enough to know when they were scheming, which was almost all the time.

"Threesome," Randy answered without skipping a beat, his eyes still on the brunette.

John almost choked on his drink.

"Huh? Sorry, I don't think I heard you right," he said. "For a moment there I thought you said you're looking to have a threesome tonight."

Rae looked at her very moral and proper friend and chuckled.

"We could always stop looking and take you back to our room instead," she said seductively as she wickedly ran her foot slowly up John's leg under the table. "I know I'd enjoy that very, very much."

This time John did choke, causing both Rae and Randy to laugh.

"I'm very flexible and know quite a few tricks, and I'm an expert with my tongue," Rae continued, her foot still going up his leg until it found the huge bulge it was looking for.

His eyes widening, John caught her foot and pushed it off.

"I think I'll pass," he frowned.

"Come on Rae, little John doesn't want to play with us tonight," Randy said as he got up from the bar stool.

"Tonight or ever!"

Laughing, Rae put her little strappy, high heeled sandals on and got up too.

"Time to reel her in," Randy said to her with his trademark melt-your-panties smile.

Shaking his head, John watched as the same smile appeared on Rae's lips. These two were so alike it always freaked him out. They were like the same person; they had the same tastes, same dislikes and both were cocky as hell. They even shared the same taste in women, a fact John had got used to even though he knew Rae had a big appetite for men, too. To her sex was sex.

Ordering another drink, he watched as the two descended on their prey. The girl never stood a chance really, sandwiched between them as they moved against her to the music. It was like watching hardcore porn, the way they used their bodies to excite the girl; Randy behind her, his hands holding the girl against him and moving her sensually to the music; Rae in front of her winning and grinding, moving her gorgeous butt up and down the poor girl. And she was gorgeous, make no mistake about that! If he didn't know her so well, he would have been on her so fast... But she was a love 'em and leave 'em type just like Randy, while he valued relationships. It would never work.

To date, she was probably the most beautiful woman he'd ever met. Tall, about 5 ft 8, silky golden hair, deep blue eyes, curves in all the right places and then some! To say she was very experienced would be putting it mildly, she had absolutely no room on her bed post for anymore notches. The girl was very sexual and was not afraid to show it. They had a name for women like her, and she wore it proudly like a prized badge. John firmly believed it was Randy who had made her who she was, having had an influence on her since they had both been in diapers. Honestly, talking to Rae was like talking to Randy. They knew each other so well they could finish each other's sentences and seemed to know what the other was thinking and feeling without any words spoken.

He watched them some more, thinking how well they worked together; like a well oiled machine. Every movement they made was calculated to drive the girl wild. It almost seemed rehearsed as well, how they seemed to know which moves the other was doing and perform a well executed counter move. Eventually they led the poor girl back to the table, like a sheep being led to the slaughter.

"We're heading off now, John," Randy said, his eyes still on their catch. "You coming with us?"

John quickly shook his head.

"I'll catch a ride with Dave, or someone," he said, indicating the man who was sitting at a table nearby with Paul Levesque and young Kendrick.

The men were looking over at them as if they could not believe what they had witnessed. Yeah, the crazy things his friends did always brought them attention. He was used to it now.

Rae bent over, aware that Dave and his friends could probably see up her slutty little skirt.

"Don't stay away too long," she whispered in his ear as she picked up her bag from the floor. "I meant what I said. You can join the party."

John swallowed hard as he tried his best to remember his reasons for not taking her up on her offer. Oh, it wasn't because she was a slut or that she was one of his good friends. It was because she was Racheal Taylor Callaway, spawn of the Undead.

Watching them walk away with their catch, one hand in Rae's and the other in Orton's, John shook his head again and prayed their little stunt would not bring an angry Dead Man to their door the next morning. Getting up, he picked up his beer and headed to the other men's table, seating himself in one of the vacant chairs.

"What the hell was that?" Dave asked.

"Trust me, you really don't want to know," he answered as he took a sip of his beer.

"Who was that?" Brian asked. "She looked familiar."

Yeah, he'd probably seen her in the papers or magazines hanging off the arm of this musician or that athlete. If he was to guess, he'd say she'd slept with everyone she had ever photographed! He knew the only reason she had taken up this profession was so she could look at beautiful people all day. That fact that she took perfect photos everytime was an added bonus. He and Randy had sat in on one of her shoots once and figured out her secret. She was probably the only person he knew who could take the atmosphere in the room from normal to sizzling with sexual tension in one second. She used that to her advantage, using the sexual anticipation as the perfect tool to produce excellent shots. It showed in her photos and that was what made them sell.

"Her name is Racheal," he answered, not revealing she was also Taker's illegitimate child. That was something both Rae and Randy worked painstakingly hard to keep hidden.

"I've never seen her about before," Dave said. "Is she Randy's new 'special friend'?"

The reason most of the wrestlers had never met her, or if they have, had never been properly introduced, was because her visits were always flying ones. She, like them, had a very busy schedule, so whenever they happened to be in the same town, she'd stay with them for only one or two nights. So when she did stop, she was always too busy catching up with Randy. It was their downtime, so to speak, when they both took a break from whoring. This time was different though. She was staying for a few weeks. He couldn't say he was looking forward to it, because where Rae went, drama always followed.

"No, they've been friends for a fucking long time," Triple H answered for him. "I've seen them together before once or twice, but Randy keeps her to himself."

"Can't blame him," Brian smirked. "She's hot."

And he'd stand no fucking chance, John thought.

"Can I crash with one of you guys?" he asked. "My room is kinda crowded tonight."

"You mean they really are going to share that girl?" Dave asked.

John nodded.

"Told you," Paul said. "I can spot a lesbian miles away."

"Fuck!" Brian swore. "Lesbian? I was so sure she came on to me when I bumped into her on my way to the bathroom."

John had to laugh. Rae fucked anything that moved. With her traveling with them for a while, they'd work that out for themselves soon enough.

"You can crash in Rey's bed. He's not checking in till tomorrow," Dave offered.

"Thanks. I'll be out of your hair early morning."

That would give Rae and Randy enough time to use the girl and throw her out.

* * *

Individually, Rae and Randy were extraordinary and unforgettable lovers; taking their time and wallowing in the sensations that sexual contact brought. Together they were lethal, a phenomenon. They had the girl naked and on her back before she could blink an eye.

Both of them still fully dressed, they knelt on the bed on either side of her, just looking at her beautiful body, every inch of it. The anticipation heightened their senses, the naked lust in their eyes an aphrodisiac to their willing hostage. She let out a low moan and wriggled her body, as if the heat from their eyes was actually burning through her.

"Please..." she moaned.

Neither needed further encouragement. Rae's fingers finally met her hot flesh, the tips only lightly skimming her body; slowly from her long, smooth neck to the tip of her perky breast. Randy bent his head and lightly ran his tongue over her naval then gently blew on it. All the while they watched the girl's face, watched the play of emotions evoked by their actions. She looked ready, her body reacting to every movement, her face flushed; but they were nowhere near started.

Rae brought the tip of her tongue on the tit that begged her attention, growing hotter with every little whimper the girl made. When she released it, she also gently blew on it, earning a nice little groan. Randy ran his hand down her leg then gently lifted it to give the same sort of attention to her inner thigh. He made sure not to touch her where she needed it the most. Slowly, feeling heady from his heightened senses, he lowered his head so he could kiss her inner thigh. Neither he or Rae would ever think of kissing any lower than that, not with a stranger.

Rae lifted her other leg and bent it at the knee to make her more accessible, then trailed her fingers to where the girl needed them. At her cry of pleasure, she smiled to herself as she thought what a loud one they had got themselves. To her mind, those were the best, the ones that completely let go of themselves, gave in to their primal instincts. They had chosen well.

Randy trailed his lips up the girl's body to her nipple, using his expert skill to increase the girl's frantic movements while his other hand joined Rae's. It didn't take the girl long to finally reach the peak she had been clambering to. As soon as they felt it coming, they looked up to watch her face, both of them moaning at the incredible beautiful thing they were witnessing, the whole reason for their actions. It was intoxicating, like a drug they both could not do without.

When she finally lay, spent, they turned their attention on each other. The girl still between them, Rae reached across and pulled his shirt off to reveal the perfectly sculptured body. He was perfect, every inch of him, and she loved touching him. When she ran her fingers over his chiseled abs, he sucked in a breath, making a little hissing sound. Leaning forward, she let him kiss her within an inch of her life, his tongue doing things that no other man could ever do. She straddled the girl as she continued her exploration of Randy's magnificent body, knowing the girl was watching and getting hot all over again. That was the whole point. It didn't take long to have him completely naked and she almost laughed at the girl's gasp when she noticed the size of him. Yes, Randy was huge. She had not felt him inside her in a long time, not after that brief period when she had lost her virginity to him when she'd been sixteen, but she'd seen him in action numerous times. She didn't touch him there. She never did. But she'd seen that dick drive girls insane.

Randy made short work of her own clothes, ripping her little top off and her knickers when he could not contain his need any longer. When they were both completely naked his eyes traveled the length of her tanned body; the perfectly shaped full breast, the toned stomach, the incredibly narrow waist and the full hips that drove all the men wild. She was incredible; noone could deny that. He smiled a bit when his eyes rested on her little tattoo, the letters RKO just under her bikini line. He had branded her so many years ago before both their careers had taken off, after a drunken night out on the prowl. But that was another story.

Finally they turned their attention to the girl, the only one there who could bring their release. Even though they shared this sacred ritual, occasionally touching and kissing, they would never even think of sleeping with each other.

They were soul mates, best friends, witnesses to each others pains and joys, protector of each other's secrets. Even though they were both very sexual beings, they didn't see each other in a sexual way. They could sleep with the same woman because their combined chemistry when turned on to their chosen prey, was explosive. But they would never sleep with each other.

And so they turned on they prey, lying on either side of her as the heat drove them all into a frenzy. The fun was only just beginning.


	2. Chapter 2

**So I'm giving you the next few chapters so you can get into it. I'm still just building up the story, showing you just how twisted Randy and Rae can be when it comes to sex. The drama comes soon when picks her target. So let me know if you want to see where it's all going. Thanks.**

**

* * *

**

John walked into their room the next morning and stopped in his tracks when he saw three naked bodies sprawled on top of each other on Randy's double bed. For a second, he couldn't help staring at Rae's striking body, the way it was draped over the brunette's as she lay cushioned on her chest. She looked completely innocent, which he knew she was anything but. She was as dirty as they came.

He shook his head as he checked his watch again. It was after six. These two never kept their toys that long. Normally, the girl would have been thrown out by now.

Averting his eyes, he called out Randy's name.

"Go do one, Cena!" Randy mumbled as he pulled Rae away from the brunette, and buried his face in her hair.

John couldn't help but watch the way his hand made it's way to Rae's now exposed breast then cupped it playfully. God, Rae drove him nuts!

"It's almost six thirty. Come on, we need to hit the gym," he said, quickly turning away and walking to his own bed to ruffle through his bag for some training gear.

"It's not even six yet. You're shitting me," he mumbled.

"Don't say I didn't warn you, then" he said as he made his way to the bathroom.

It took a full minute for John's words to register, but when they did, Randy was out of bed like a shot. He shook the brunette to wake her, frowning with irritation when she just rolled over and went back to sleep. What they hell was her name? He and Rae hadn't thought to ask the night before. It didn't matter now anyway, they would never see her again.

"Come on, girl," he said as he lifted her off the bed. "Candy shop's closed, get you ass out of here."

"What?" the girl asked incredulously when she was set down by the door.

"You either put your clothes on in here or out there, makes no difference to me," Randy said as he hurriedly picked up his and Rae's clothes off the floor, paying no attention to his naked state. "Just do it quick and get out of here."

"Is that it? I thought we had loads of fun last night," the girl said.

"I've had better," he smirked.

"You really are a bastard," the brunette angrily spat out.

"Thank you, now just get the fuck out."

The girl dressed as quick as she could and Randy let out a relieved sigh when the door finally slammed behind her. He quickly looked over at Rae, noticing that none of the commotion had disturbed her sleep. She still lay on the rumpled sheets, dead to the world. And naked. Panicking, he covered her so that not an inch of her flesh, except her face, was showing.

When he thought he had got rid of all the evidence of their night's escapades; all the empty condom wrappers, the toys Rae was so fond of that she used so well; he found a spare blanket and threw it on the couch before pulling a pair of shorts on. He was ready with only seconds to spare.

Six thirty on the dot, there was a definitive knock on the door. Nervously clearing his throat and taking a calming breath, he went to answer it.

"Hey," he said in greeting, even though he knew he would not get any response.

Moving to the side, he let his visitor walk in uninvited. It wasn't as if he could call him out or tackle him to the floor or anything. He was the Undertaker, the toughest son of a bitch the WWE had to offer, the father of the woman with whom he shared so many wicked pleasures with.

"She's still sleeping," Randy said awkwardly, stating the obvious.

"You went out with her last night, didn't you?"

It was asked calmly but Randy heard the threatening undertone. Rae was 25 but she was still this man's little girl.

"Only for about an hour. We came back here early," he answered, telling only a tiny shade of the truth.

The Dead Man looked straight in his eyes, using the internal lie detector he was famous for. Randy had had years of practice with it, he considered himself an expert when it came to lying about this man's daughter. When he looked away from him, he knew he'd passed the test.

Randy watched as the man surveyed the room, noticing the crumpled blanket on the couch and John's unmade bed. He knew what the man was looking for; evidence of his daughter's corruption. As they were on different brands, these nerve wrecking experiences only happened when they had a pay per view or a supershow and the man knew his daughter was around. He would have cracked long ago if he had to do this too often.

"John didn't sleep in his bed?" Taker asked a bit suspiciously.

Randy cursed himself for not thinking to rumple John's sheets as well. The Dead Man was obviously thinking the unthinkable, that John had shared his daughter's bed. He always asked Rae to book her own room but the girl always laughed in his face. She had more guts than he did.

"No, he was out all night. I think he only just got back," Randy answered quickly.

Again, the lie detector was used on him. He let out a silent breath of relief when the man turned away from him, muttering something about young men these days.

When he finally stood over his daughter, Randy backed off and pretended to straighten the room. It always hurt to watch, the way the man so obviously longed for a proper relationship with his child. Almost ten years now, he'd been trying and Rae shot him down every single time. He remembered when Taker had tracked Rae down when she had been sixteen and living down the road from him in St. Luis with her mum. He'd been only eighteen himself and had thought how cool it was that one of his idols was his best friend's dad. He'd even imagined tagging along on a few father daughter outings so the man could throw any grain of wisdom to him about his chosen career. Rae had screwed both of them over on that one.

John emerged from the bathroom ready to hit the gym and stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Taker.

"Um, morning," he said.

The man nodded, then with a weary sigh turned away from Rae.

"Tell Racheal I will meet her downstairs for breakfast at nine," he said, then turned to leave without another word.

Both John and Randy let out simultaneous sighs of relief when the door closed behind him. If Taker had found anything amiss, he would have beat the crap out of both of them.

"I can't keep doing this," John said, shaking his head as he looked at Randy. "The man scares the shit out of me. I can't keep stressing that he'll catch you out one day and I'll be caught in it as well. You two need help."

"Relax. He's never caught us before. And I'm sure he knows by now that his little girl is no angel. Besides, it's you who needs help with all your one girl at a time, relationship bullshit," Randy laughed as he made his way back to his bed. "And that chronic love bug you have... shit, man. You fall in love with every single girl you sleep with."

"What's that got to do with anything? And what the hell are you doing? We need to hit the gym before the signing," John asked when he saw Randy take his shorts off and get back into bed.

Only Randy would sleep naked with his platonic friend!

Randy only grunted as he pulled Rae back into his arms and made himself comfortable.

"Randy!"

"I was up all night, give me a break," he whined. "I think I worked out enough last night, anyway."

John shook his head and walked to the door. Randy was a workout freak, he never missed a day for anything. But when Rae came over all that flew out the window.

"Well, I hope you two are up when I get back. I don't want to go down for breakfast by myself with Taker there," John said as he made his way out of the room. "He'll ask questions and I'm sure you wouldn't want me to give him any answers."

* * *

When Rae woke up, she was in Randy's arms. She watched him sleep for a minute, a smile playing on her lips as she remembered their night together. A threesome with Randy was always the best stress relief. It beat all her other indulgences any day! Now that she'd got that out of her system, she could concentrate on her list.

The smile left her face as she continued to watch his sleeping, unguarded face. How was she supposed to let go, to say goodbye? He was the only person in the whole world who brought meaning to her life, the only person she knew would always be there for her. But how did you tell someone like that that you were never going to see them again? How did you let go?

She was sure that over the next few weeks he was going to notice that something was wrong. She'd been going through a lot of major changes since she started her list and now she was about to undergo the biggest of them all. Hopefully he would put it all down to that and not really question her. Randy could always tell when she was lying.

"I can actually hear you thinking!" Randy smiled, his eyes still closed. "What's going through that pretty little head of yours?"

"I'm going to get to know Mark better," she answered. Well, that wasn't a lie.

Randy opened his eyes and looked straight into hers.

"Really?"

"I figured I might as well. That man just doesn't quit. He keeps coming back no matter what I say or do."

"I'm glad to hear that. Taker is a real good guy."

"I'm still reserving judgment on that. Anyway, it's on my list."

"What else is on this list? I still can't believe you went to Columbia, anything could have happened to you."

That hadn't been on her list at all, but after leaving the doctor's office getting stoned had been the first thing she had thought of. She wouldn't tell Randy that because she knew how he felt about drugs, but for the week she had been there she couldn't remember a single thing. She been fucked out of her mind on the best cocaine the world had to offer!

"Well, nothing happened. It's not like they make it out in the movies, you should go there sometime," she said. "I'm actually going to stop sleeping around as well, see if there's someone out there for me like John says."

"You mean fall in love and all that bullshit?"

"Yeah. Life has to have a deeper meaning than what I've known so far."

"How the hell are you going to do that?"

"I thought maybe I'll date a few people, you know, try and see if I can get a connection with anyone before I sleep with them."

"No sex?"

"No."

"You won't last a day," Randy laughed. "You'll be bored shitless!"

"Thanks for the vote of confidence," she said sarcastically.

"You're the one who tells me love is a four letter word. That only those weak of mind use it as a pretty word to cover up lust," Randy argued. "You know I won't stop you trying, but you and me are the same, babes. If I can't go without sex, I know you can't."

"Why does it have to be about sex?" she asked. "I could meet someone and discover I actually like talking to them, like what they are about.

"It's always about sex, with you," Randy chuckled as he got out of bed and walked towards the bathroom. "You know I'll always be here, anyway, whatever you do."

Rae couldn't help checking him out as he walked. He was 6 feet 4 inches, 245 pounds worth of hunky flesh, how could she not? Of all the men she'd seen naked, and there where loads, his body had to be the best.

"Stop looking at my butt," he laughed without even turning back as he entered the bathroom. He knew her so well.

Rae sank back into the pillows and thought Randy was probably right. She loved sex, lived for it. It would be hard to just go on a date when there was absolutely no question of a good fuck at the end of it. But she would try. Her life was filled with meaningless dalliances and indulgent excesses. Before she died, she needed to know that life did have some meaning. She needed to matter to someone, to feel cherished.

"If you scrub my back I'll scrub yours," Randy called out.

"Coming."

* * *

John walked into their room after his workout to Rae and Randy's rendition of Barry White's Let's Get It On. He had no doubt they were soaping each other up in shower. They always did that. Only these two could be so intimate and still insist they were just friends. He didn't get that. Normal people didn't do that, no matter how long they'd known their friends. They certainly didn't kiss and cuddle He'd told Randy many times that they should just get together and he'd laughed in his face, claiming Rae was not his type. He didn't get that either because the last time he'd checked, Randy had no type.

"_I've been really trying now baby,"_ Randy sang. _"Trying to hold back this feeling for so song. And if you feel, like I feel... come on."_

"_Lets get it on..."_ they sang together.

John shook his head and walked over to his bag to get his clothes ready. Sometimes his friends could be so cheesy.

"_We're all sensitive people, with so much to give,"_ Rae sang. _"As long as we got to be here, lets live."_

"_There's nothing wrong, with me loving you, now. Giving yourself to me can never be wrong, if your love is true."_

Were these two actually listening to themselves? Love? That word could never be used in the same sentence as Randy and Rae. They treated it like it was a disease!

He dropped his bag on the floor to wait his turn in the shower.

"Johnny boy," Rae called out. She'd probably heard the loud thud the bag had made. "Coming to join us?"

As if! Randy would have his head.

"Nah, I'm good. I do need to take a leak though, so you two hurry up."

"I ain't stopping you," Rae called out.

John heard Randy mutter something, he'd probably told Rae off again. He was strictly off limits and for some reason, Rae found that a turn on. She had been threatening to fuck him within an inch of his life for years.

"Seriously though, dude, we'll be a while. Just come in, Rae won't bother you."

He'd done it plenty of times, walking in on Rae in the shower or something. Her carefree attitude had daunted him at first but he had come to realise she couldn't give a fuck who saw her naked. She actually thrived on it. Besides, he really was dying to take a piss.

Averting his eyes, he walked into the bathroom and gave a sigh of relief when he noticed the shower curtain was closed.

"How was your workout?" Rae asked.

"Alright," John said as he finished his business and washed his hands. "My back is bothering me a bit though."

The shower curtain was pulled open and John looked up to see Rae dripping wet and naked in front of him. He followed one drop in particular as it slid between her full breasts and all the way down between her legs.

"One night in Rae can fix all that, sweety," she said seductively.

John peeled his eyes off her body long enough to see Randy roll his eyes in exasperation. But it was only for a second. His eyes unwillingly returned to their exploration of the perfect body.

"What would you actually do if one of these days I took you up on your offer?" he asked curiously.

"She'd run a mile in the opposite direction," Randy put in with an irritated growl as he wrapped his arm around her and pulled her back against his naked body under the hot shower spray.

Then he closed the curtain, firmly dismissing him.


	3. Chapter 3

**You like? Yes? No? Let me know.**

* * *

He had his arm casually around her as the elevator finally took them downstairs, which he knew would raise a few eyebrows. He wasn't a touchy feely person, well, at least not after he'd slept with the girl. He couldn't afford to give any of those women ideas. After he'd fucked them, that was it. No seconds and certainly no touching. But this was Rae, his other half as John put it.

"I hope you give the guy permission to call you," Randy said. "I shit myself everytime he comes to me and asks how you're doing."

"What's made you change your mind, though?" John asked.

"Life's just too short to hold petty grudges. And it's on the list."

The elevator doors opened, breaking up the conversation and the Animal walked in. He greeted the occupants but Randy noticed his eyes were on Rae the whole time.

"We haven't been introduced," Dave said as he took her hand. "Dave Bautista."

"Racheal Taylor, but call me Rae," she smiled, moving out of Randy's casual hold.

"Rae. I like that," Dave smiled.

Randy watched as Rae gave Dave one of her irresistible smiles, the one that said 'rip my clothes off and fuck me!' The little slut was coming on to him! That was Rae all over again; always looking for a good time. There was no way she would stick to her crazy plan to fall in love. She was taking this list a bit too far now.

"Are you in Orlando for any special reason?" Dave asked, giving out signals of his own.

"I'm actually traveling with these guys for a while, taking a little break from work," Rae replied. "Maybe we could get together sometime."

"I'd love that," Dave said, just as the doors opened to let them out.

Rae walked out first and Randy watched as she gave her hips that little extra sway. She obviously knew that Dave was checking her out. It didn't help matters that she'd chosen to wear those tight, knee length jeans and the unbelievably high heels that shaped her calves and made her legs seem like they went on forever, Dave was lapping it all up like some sex starved teenager!

He and John walked behind them as they made their way to the hotel restaurant, listening as Rae poured out her best lines, lines he had taught her. Cena rolled his eyes at a few of them because he'd heard Randy use them a million times. But they were smooth; designed to melt the pants off any person they were directed at. The goofy smile on Dave's face showed he was not immune.

"I'll see you real soon, Dave," she said as they parted ways at the restaurant entrance.

As soon as Dave walked away, Randy took her hand and pulled her against him.

"Nice work," he chuckled. "But if you're going to see this dating thing through, keep your pants on. At least while your dad is watching."

"I'm not wearing any pants," she whispered in his ear with a wicked smile before giving him a kiss on the cheek and turning away. "See you guys later."

They watched her as she made her way to the table Taker was at, totally oblivious to the attention she was getting. She was used to it.

"Did she just say she's not wearing any pants?" Cena asked, his eyes on Rae's butt as she walked to her dad.

Randy looked at his friend and nudged him, bringing him out of whatever sick daydream he'd been having.

"Dude, don't look at her her like that."

"If a woman tells me something like that, you better believe I'll look."

"Yeah. Me, too," Randy grinned before looking around the room.

He saw Mickie sitting around with a few other divas, most of whom he'd already done. Her eyes were shooting daggers at him but he only chuckled.

"Come on, there's a free table over there."

* * *

It wasn't as if she didn't like this man. She had been a fan of wrestling for as long as she could remember, when Randy's dad would come back from the road with so many tales. She had a lot of respect for the man they called Undertaker, how he could still command the same awe and respect as he had when he had first entered the ring almost two decades ago.

"Hi Mark," she said awkwardly.

She had never called him dad. She knew it hurt him that she couldn't but for sixteen years, she had believed another man to be her father. All her life she had loved and respected Greg Taylor, his revelation on his deathbed had not changed that. She could never call another man her dad, not when she felt it would be disloyal to Greg's memory.

"Hello, Racheal," Mark answered. "Did you sleep well?"

She knew he was as uncomfortable as she was. Truth be told, she had never made it easy for him to get to know her and she had never been interested in knowing him.

"Yes, very well."

She wondered what he would make of the life she led if he ever found out.

"I'm glad you're here. I've been looking forward to seeing you for a long time," he smiled. "How have you been?"

Rae remembered the reasons she was there and looked away.

"Alright," she lied.

"Are you, really?"

She knew what he was referring to. Although her mother had been gone over a year this man had witnessed it when she had fallen apart. Randy had been her rock throughout the whole ordeal, being there for her even with his busy schedule until they had buried her. He had loved Rebecca, her mother, like his own so she knew her pain had been his. On the day they had buried her, it had been John who had held them both up. She owed John a lot for that. And she owed this man in front of her as well. On that rainy day they had all paid their last respects, Mark had been a comforting presence, too. She had realised he was suddenly the only real family she had.

"I still miss her. I always will," she answered. "But she's in a better place now."

Mark nodded and signalled for a waiter so they could order.

"I'm here for you if you need anything, you know," Mark said. "I don't want you to feel like you're alone."

"Thank you," she smiled.

The waiter brought their food. She'd ordered herself a lot of greasy food; sausages, bacon and eggs all fried. What the heck. She was dying anyway, clogged arteries were the least of her worries.

"My work is doing alright," she said.

Actually, as of two weeks ago, she was unemployed.

"Yes, I've noticed. I'm real proud of you, Racheal."

For some reason, that warmed her heart.

"Can I ask you a question? It's been almost ten years and I've been a total bitch to you more often than not. Why do you still bother with me?"

Taker looked up from his breakfast, straight into her blue eyes.

"I never give up on the things I love."

She looked away from the intense gaze because she saw the proof of his words. The man did love her, she had known that for years. She knew, if she ever needed him, he would be there like a shot just like he always promised. And she was positive, in a few months, she would need him desperately.

"How's Sara?"

She never asked about his family. Actually, she never asked any questions period. But things had changed now. She had to make amends.

Taker looked at her and seemed to realise he had gained another inch.

"She's fine. She'll be here tomorrow for Wrestlemania."

As they finished their breakfast Rae thought how her mother had long since forgiven this man for walking away from her when she was pregnant and only seventeen. She had said, if he hadn't she would never have met her soul mate, the love of her life. It was her turn now to learn a little forgiveness. She owed him that much, at least. At least when she was gone, he would have something of her to keep, a few fond memories.

"Maybe... maybe we can have lunch tomorrow, just the two of us," she said.

Taker smiled at her. She had never initiated a meeting before.

"I'd love that."

"I'll let you know where and when," she said as she stood up.

Mark, ever the gentleman, stood up as well. Rae smiled at him a bit awkwardly then walked out of the restaurant.

* * *

Dave was waiting for the elevator when she walked up to him.

"Hey handsome," she smiled.

Dave turned and gave her the smile that had weakened her knees earlier. Damn, the man was hot! His sculptured body and dark looks made him the perfect model to base any Greek god. She was already imagining his big, muscular thighs pressed up against hers and prayed that they didn't call him an animal for no reason. She was in the mood for a hot, sweaty fuckfest. She could always start with the dating thing tomorrow.

"Hey. Didn't think I'd see you again so soon."

The doors opened and he let her in first. She felt his eyes on her butt and smiled. This was going to be so easy.

"So, Dave," she started when the doors had closed. "What do you do for fun."

"I do a lot of things, Rae," he smiled slowly.

She knew that had a double meaning.

"And I bet you do them so well," she said with a wicked smile of her own

"I have my moments," he admitted. "I was watching you last night. Couldn't take my eyes off you."

"Really?"

"Yeah. You've been on my mind since. I've never seen anyone more beautiful."

"Thank you," she smiled.

Maybe she could fuck him and still get to know him. That seemed like a better plan. Maybe he wouldn't bore her after just the one time, like so many men before him.

"So, what do _you_ do for fun?" he asked after a brief pause.

"Oh... I'm quite fluid, too. A lot of things excite me," she said with a little smile.

"Are you excited right now?" the animal asked, moving to stand right in front of her.

She looked into his brown eyes and saw the need in them, saw the way his breathing changed.

"Very excited," she whispered.

The next second the animal descended on her hungrily, his hot lips on hers as his large hands cupped her bottom and lifted her so she was pressed against his manhood. Her eyes widened in pleasant surprise at the size of him as his tongue delved deeper into her mouth. She let out a groan as the heat in her core intensified and she wrapped her legs around the beast and pressed herself closer to what he so easily offered. She needed it, needed to take her mind off the load of shit that life had just dumped her way.

Vaguely, she heard the elevator doors open then Dave groaned as he reluctantly released her mouth. He didn't put her down; not that she minded, she had no intention of letting go. As he walked out of the elevator she gently sank her teeth in his neck and sucked, making Dave release a primal groan of pleasure. She heard a few whistles and dirty remarks as Dave struggled with his key card but that didn't divert her attention.

Her mind was on only one thing; getting this man naked and taking what she needed.

When he eventually got the door open, she wasted no time.


	4. Chapter 4

**This one was done in a hurry. Just though I'd add it. Not very good but it'll have to do. Just wanted to introduce a few more characters.**

He was beautiful, every inch of him. As soon as he'd shut the door behind him she had ripped his clothes off him, exposing the perfect body she saw every Friday night on Smackdown. She had to push him off her so she could take her time; touch, feel and taste every inch of him. This was what she was good at, making people feel good, and she was going to make damn sure she felt good as well.

Pushing him down onto his bed, she gave him a little smile as she slowly peeled her tight top off, exposing the lacy black bra that cupped her full breasts.

"Wow," Dave muttered, his eyes glued on every move she made.

"You ain't seen nothing yet," she promised him, dropping the top to the floor.

Then she unzipped her tight jeans, her eyes never once leaving his as she watched the play of emotions in his beautiful eyes. Slowly, she peeled them off, bending down to take them off so he could admire her perfectly formed bottom. Oh, she knew it was perfect, she had been told often enough to let it go to her head. It had given her confidence over the years, allowing her to use her body expertly to get the reactions she wanted. She knew exactly how to move to make the people she was sleeping with hot, to make them want her with desperation. And when they did, she was assured a good lay all the time. That was the whole point. She was a generous lover, but only because it served her. She would never do it otherwise.

In her little thong, which she had lied to Randy about, and bra, she strode over to the bed and knelt down beside him, her eyes feasting on his body. She didn't touch him, she just let her eyes sear his flesh as she anticipated all the things she was going to do to him. She watched as his breathing became more laboured and his eyes heavier with his need. She watched as his muscles flexed as if she was actually touching him. Then she finally gave in to her temptation to touch him, but only barely. She used the tips of her finger tips, ran them slowly and sensually down his body; down his chest, his rippled stomach, his thighs all the way down to his feet and then all the way back. He was truly a magnificent specimen, his body reacting just the she wanted it to.

She bent down to taste his bronze skin and found it irresistible. She had to taste all of him. So she rubbed her body against his as her lips and tongue trailed down his body the way her fingers had, leaving in their wake a trail of fire. Dave groaned, fuelling the fire that was burning below her stomach when her lips finally made it to where he desperately needed them. Then watching his face, she took all of him into her mouth, earning a lot more desperate groans.

"Rae... don't stop."

She wasn't about to. Catching his eyes, she swallowed him. The very loud, primal cry he released was the final push she needed. She had to have him. Urgently.

After quickly rolling the protection down his length, Dave ripped the last bit of clothing on her body and she sat astride him. She let out a low moan as she slowly took all of him. He was huge, he filled her up so much she felt like he could rip through her. Just the way she liked it. Hell, she liked it any which way but in that moment in time she couldn't imagine anything better. His large hands cupped her breasts as she started moving on top of him, every little movement he made sending her closer to her climax. His strokes quickly became harder and faster and his hands urgently gripped her hips so he could go deeper. She had known from the beginning the first round would be quick, she had been more than ready for him before he'd even kissed her in the elevator. Even so, when the end came, it took her completely by surprise.

"Now, Rae," Dave groaned.

At his command, she reached the peak she had desperately sought at the same time he reached his climax. She collapsed breathlessly on top of him as they floated down from their cloud together, a satisfied smirk playing on her lips.

"Wow," Dave mused.

"Yeah," she agreed.

Round one done.

* * *

Jeff had been waiting for the elevator with Matt and Shelton when Dave had burst out of it with that blonde bombshell wrapped around him and practically eating him up. Matt and Shelton had called out a few things but he'd ignored them and stepped into the elevator straight away. They had a lot of things to do that afternoon in town, speculating on Dave's sex life was not one of them.

That had been at least three hours ago. Now they were back and as they passed by Dave's room on their way to their own, they heard the unmistakable cries from behind the closed doors.

"What a freak!" Shelton laughed. "She's still in there."

"Dave is one lucky dog," Matt added. "I wouldn't mind taking his place right now."

"How could you want to go where someone else has just been?" Jeff asked with disgust.

"Just because you've sworn off women, doesn't mean I have to," Matt laughed.

"Even if I was dating, that woman would be the last person I'd pick."

"Why? She's hot! If she called me I'd go running," Shelton said.

"I know you would. You can't tell the difference between class and trash," Jeff sneered.

"That girl _is_ class with a whole lot of trash thrown in!" Shelton said. "If you ask me, I like the trashiness better."

Jeff just rolled his eyes as he pulled his key card out of his pocket.

"The car will be downstairs in about half an hour to take us to the signing. Don't be late," Jeff told Shelton as he walked into the room he was sharing with Kendrick.

"Yes, daddy!" Shelton teased. "Come on, lighten up. You've been walking around like a zombie for months. Forget Beth, man. I always told you that girl as no good."

"I've told you before that I don't want to talk about it," Jeff said as he closed the door on the other men.

"Is he alright?" Shelton asked Matt.

"He just needs to get laid," Matt said, brushing it off.

The truth was, after catching Beth cheating red handed, his brother had sunk to a new low. He was really worried about Jeff, all he wanted to do now was lock himself away and blank everyone out.

"Maybe we could set him up with Rae," Shelton laughed as they continued down the hall.

* * *

"You've got to be the most beautiful girl I've ever seen," Randy murmured as he kissed Kelly again.

She sat in his lap, her long legs wrapped around him as she wriggled in pleasure against him.

"You say that to all the girls," Kelly said when he finally released her mouth and started a hot trail down to her chest.

"And it works all the time," he mumbled.

"What?"

"Nothing," he lied. "Why don't we move to the bed? I've got very wicked plans for you , Ms. Kelly, this couch just won't cut it."

"Randy... I've already said we can't," Kelly protested, her eyes still closed from the sensations that were wrecking through her body.

"Come on, Kel... we're adults, we can't play these little games."

"I'm not like that."

Every woman was like that. They just didn't know it.

He continued his slow assault on her senses, watching her face the whole time. He guess it would be another minute or two before she gave in completely.

"I talked to Mickie..."

Oh, here it goes.

"I don't want to talk about her."

"She said you broke her heart. She told you how she felt and you took advantage of that. Is that true?"

Letting out a frustrated breath, Randy stopped his exploration.

"I never made any promises, I never lied to her," Randy said.

"You slept with her after she told you how she felt. Any girl would believe that means her feelings are reciprocated."

"Kelly, this right here has nothing to do with Mickie. I don't have to explain my actions to anyone, certainly not to you."

"Fair enough. But answer this. You've been trying to get me into your bed for years now. Is that because you have feelings for me? I mean, you wouldn't be this persistent if I was just like all the other girls."

Randy looked at the blonde woman and frowned. What planet was she from? Everyone knew the Legend Killer didn't do feelings.

"I take it that's a no," Kelly stated.

"I think you need to go," Randy said, still frowning. The last thing he needed was another crazy female confessing her love for him.

"I wasn't going to stay, anyway," Kelly said as she got up from his lap. "Men like you make me sick. I'd never willingly give myself to you."

If she'd shut her mouth and let him do his thing, she'd have been naked and 'willingly giving herself to him' now.

"Then what the fuck are you even doing in here?"

John chose that moment to walk in, saving him from an awkward situation.

"Hey, Kelly," John smiled when he noticed her.

The blonde just scowled at him as she angrily brushed past him to the door.

"I don't know how you can be friends with that man," she said to John just before the door slammed behind her.

Frowning, John looked at his friend.

"What the hell have you done now?"

"I have no idea," he lied. "Where's Rae? Is she still with Taker?"

"I've just seen Mark downstairs. He hasn't seen her since breakfast," John said. "My guess is she went looking for Dave."

"At least someone is getting laid," Randy muttered.

"Maybe she's trying her new thing," John said as he got his clothes ready for the appearance he was making in town.

"What, getting to know him? Did you not see her in the elevator. If we hadn't been there, she would have jumped him right there," Randy laughed. "The whole thing is a joke. She'll never stick to it."

"I hope she does. It'll be interesting to see what she's like when she falls in love."

Randy just chuckled as he got up from the couch.

"Then you'll be waiting for that a fucking long time," he said. "I'm going to take a cold shower, Kelly's just a cock teasing bitch."

"Oooh. The great Randy Orton was shot down," John laughed.

"I'd have had her if she hadn't started shooting off a load of shit. I just didn't want a repeat of the Mickie situation."

"How is it that all these women want you when they all know what a dick you are?"

"I'm irresistible. What can I say," Randy laughed.


	5. Chapter 5

**Another long one. She'll pick her 'Mr. Right' soon, but we all know you can't pick who you love. Anyway, thanks for following the story but could you please leave a review? I'm stopping here for today, to see if anyone actually wants me to go on. Well, I know one person does so far. Thanks maltesegirl50.**

* * *

Rae cursed as she stumbled into the room she was sharing with John and Randy. These fucking headaches were getting worse, even with the strong painkillers she was popping down like candy. She could be fine one second then feel like her head was being sawn open the next. Dr. Harvey had explained what would happen. The pain would get worse as the pressure on her brain increased. Eventually she would be in pain the whole time.

How would she stand anything worse than this? She couldn't. She wouldn't.

She swallowed some more painkillers and a very strong sleeping pill, knowing she would be over the worst when she eventually woke up. She was grateful Randy and John had already gone to their signing, she would have had to explain herself otherwise. Now was definitely not the time. The last thing she needed was for them to drag her down to the hospital. She would never step foot in a hospital or doctor's office again. Never.

* * *

Randy had offered Maria a lift back to the hotel at the end of the signing. The three of them had been booked at the same place along with a handful of other wrestlers. She was hot but he would never think of messing with her, she was way too sweet to be treated like dirt. She was also one of the handful of people who didn't judge him so he considered her a friend. He didn't fuck friends.

But looking at the way his normally talkative friend had suddenly gone mute, he knew John wouldn't mind. What was it with John and women? This was always the first sign that he was falling for someone, the way he suddenly lost his voice around the girl. Then he'd get clumsy and stupid before finally working up the nerve to ask the girl out. Then the bastard would wait a few weeks before even sleeping with the girl. To Randy that was all just a waste of time. If he wanted Maria, he'd have her flat on her back and whimpering his name in minutes. He really needed to teach his friend a bit of game. Going so long without being laid was obviously not good for your brain functions.

The beautiful brunette had been bubbling away to him from the back of the expensive rental that had been hired for them, completely unaware of the effect she had on John. Obviously, he needed to have a word with her as well. At this rate, it would take them years to finally get together.

In the lobby of their hotel, he held the brunette back.

"I'll be up in a minute, Cena. Tell Rae to pick a movie or something. We can watch that until it's time to go to the Hall of Fame ceremony."

John looked at his friend with an inquiring look.

"I'm just going to have one drink with Maria in the bar," he answered the unasked question. "Won't be long."

He ushered Maria to the bar before Cena could say anything.

"Are you going out tomorrow night, sweets?" he asked as he ordered their drinks.

"No. I just thought I'd get an early night for a change, maybe pamper myself and then catch up on my beauty sleep."

"Beauty sleep? You don't need that, you're more beautiful than all the other divas put together," he said with his trademark charm.

"What do you want?" she asked, clearly not buying it.

"What? Can't I compliment you without wanting something?"

"Spit it out, Randy."

"I just wanted to ask if you'll come out with Rae, John and me tomorrow night. And tonight for the Ceremony."

"You don't need to sweeten me up to ask that. What do you really want?"

Randy took a sip of his drink as he thought of a way to put his question across. Then he decided that didn't really matter. She either liked John or she didn't.

"How do you feel about Cena?" he asked bluntly.

The brunette actually blushed which was all the answer he needed.

"What do you mean?" she asked coyly, looking away from him.

"Come on, Ria. Don't play games. You know you can tell me anything."

That was true. Randy didn't have many friends, but to the few he did have he was as loyal as they came.

"Where's this coming from? Has he... has he said anything?"

"You saw the way he was in the car. The guy's falling for you," Randy laughed. "I think you two would be perfect together, actually."

"Did he ask you to say something to me?"

"No, but if I'd left it to him you'd have been waiting years for him to tell you how he feels."

"Well, I think I'd actually prefer to hear it from him," Maria said decisively as she finished her drink.

"Which is why I'm asking you to come out with us. You always look hot when we go out, John won't be able to help himself!"

Ria laughed as she picked up her bag.

"I suppose I could. I mean, I also get to meet this really elusive Rae. That's worth getting dolled up for."

Randy frowned a bit. He hadn't thought this through. Ria was the type of girl Rae preferred, she'd probably try to hit that the second she laid eyes on her. Like John, Maria was off limits. He'd tell Rae that but he was sure she would come on to Ria anyway, just as she did John. Word had already gone round how Dave had nailed 'Randy's special friend', so obviously, she couldn't keep her pants on long enough to do the whole date thing. He had to prepare Maria for what was obviously coming.

"Let me get you another drink. I think I should set you straight on a few things."

* * *

Rae was fast asleep when John walked into their room. She looked pretty done in, probably from her excess the night before, then her after breakfast party.

"Wake up, lazy bones," he called out as he sat on the bed next to her and gently pushed her wild hair from he face.

When she didn't stir, he noticed the bottle of pills she had clutched in her hand and frowned as he read the label. Sleeping pills. Why the hell did she need those? He noticed the little frown that marred her pretty features even in her sleep and smoothed it. Something was obviously bothering her.

Her phone vibrated on the bed next to her and he automatically answered it. He'd been doing it for years, it wasn't an issue at all.

"Racheal Taylor's phone," he answered.

"Hi, this is Dr Harvey in St. Luis. May I speak to her please?"

"She's asleep at the moment but I can pass on a message," John frowned.

"Is this Randy?"

He remembered they had the same doctor and since Rebecca had passed away Randy was listed as her next of keen.

"No, sorry. He's out, he should be back in half an hour or so."

He heard the doctor sigh heavily.

"I've been trying to get a hold of Racheal for two weeks now. Could you please make sure she calls me back? It's really urgent."

"I'll tell her as soon as she wakes up."

He knew Rae had an intense dislike for doctors and anything to do with them. It was no surprise she was avoiding Dr. Harvey, she'd done it her whole life.

"Please," the doctor said again. "It's very important that you do."

When he hung up, he put the phone on the bedside table. That was when he noticed another bottle of pills, and this time he shook her awake. Why the hell would she take such strong pain killers? Wrestlers lost their careers and sometimes their lives because of those pills.

"What?" she mumbled as she stirred.

"What's all this?" he asked, shaking the bottle in her face.

"Oh, God, Cena! You woke me for that?" she asked with irritation as she rolled over and tried to go back to sleep.

"Why do you need these?" he asked again.

"I had a head ache," she shouted. "Now leave me alone."

These were way too strong for just a headache.

"Who prescribed them to you? You can't have these for headaches."

"My doctor."

She was already half asleep by then.

"The same doctor who just rang and said he's been looking for you for weeks?"

He could have sworn he felt he tense but he couldn't be too sure when she rolled back to face him.

"What did he want?"

"He wants you to call him urgently."

"Maybe it's about those damn pills then," she said. "Maybe he made a mistake."

That could explain it, he reasoned.

"Well, don't take anymore of these until you've spoken to him. I have weaker painkillers in my bag."

"Yes, daddy," she chuckled.

He got up from the bed and pulled his black formal shirt off. He didn't like wearing such things.

"How come you're in bed anyway? I've never known you to nap in the day."

"Been working too hard," she answered as she sat up on the bed and stretched. "Haven't been sleeping at all."

That explained the sleeping pills as well, he thought as he sat on the couch.

"Well, if I was you I'd hide those pills from Randy. You know how he feels about those things."

She did as she was told before joining him.

"Watching a movie?" she asked. "What do you have?"

"I want to check out that Accidental Husband."

"You are such a girl!" she teased as she snuggled close to him. "Can't we watch something with loads of guts and blood?"

"This is a beautiful movie."

"Beautiful?" Rae asked incredulously. "Really?"

"Hey, I'm a sensitive guy. I'm allowed to say things like that," he laughed as he held her closer.

"You seriously need to get laid. Beautiful movie..."

"Hey, just because I can appreciate good movies doesn't mean I need to get laid."

"Are you sure? I'm willing to do you that favour right here right now," she smirked.

"Down, girl! Watch the movie."

* * *

"Hey guys."

Randy walked in on the cosy scene, Rae resting on Cena's naked chest as they watched a movie. It didn't bother him; he knew John would never touch Rae with a barge pole, even with all her persistant flirting. Yes, he knew how hot and bothered John got when Rae really turned up the heat. He was only a man, after all.

"Hey, sexy. Heard you were having a drink with a certain Playboy pin-up."

Randy dropped a kiss on her lips and sat next to her. He always kissed her on the lips, he'd been doing it for as long as he could remember.

"Yeah, what was that all about? You practically told me to fuck off," John said.

"We were just talking. I am allowed other friends besides you two, you know."

"And when do I get to finally meet her? You've kept her from me long enough."

"Tonight, actually. She's coming with us to the Ceremony and tomorrow we'll hit the clubs after Wrestlemania."

He was watching John's face as he said that and grinned when he saw the faint blush on his cheeks. The man needed serious work. It would be fun to watch him fall all over himself when Ria was about.

"Can I play with her?" Rae asked.

"No!" both men answered.

"Can I at least touch her? She got to be the most beautiful girl I've ever seen," Rae begged, looking from one to the other.

"I thought you were doing the whole dating and finding love thing," Randy said.

"I decided I'll start tomorrow," she chuckled. "Come on, just one breast then. That'll keep me happy for a long time."

"I doubt that," John laughed.

"Well, okay, maybe for a few seconds."

"I'm serious, Rae. Maria is my friend."

"Okay. Okay. I won't touch her," she laughed. "I was only teasing anyway. Tonight is all about you guys. You'll have my undivided attention."

"I wonder what Dave will think of that," John teased.

"What, you think he'll think we're together just because I slept with him? He's a grown man, he knows how these things work."

"I don't know. I saw the way he was looking at you this morning. I don't think one time will quite do it for him," Randy laughed.

"Who said it was one time?"

"So this whole dating thing is off?" Randy asked.

"I decided to start tomorrow. He was just too hot to ignore. The man can do things with his tongue that should be illegal!" Rae chuckled.

"Can you guys stop talking about this, now? I really don't want to know what you and Dave did this morning."

"I can show you, if you want," Rae said wickedly as she ran her fingernails down his muscular torso. "You know you want to. Come on, how could you not. I'm moulded to perfection and blessed with so many wicked talents!"

"Such an ego! Get off me, woman," John laughed, trying to untangle himself.

"John is still out of bounds," Randy warned.

"Ow," she said with a pout, her manicured nails trailing down his chest. "I was getting ready to play."

"You can play with me when the devil wears a winter coat, babes," he chuckled, dropping a kiss on top of her head. "Now watch the movie."

* * *

"Wow," Randy said, his eyes fixed on her as she walked out of the bathroom.

She gave him a little twirl, showing off her Channel evening dress. It was backless with tiny straps that held it up tied behind her neck and a neckline that dipped low enough to show her ample cleavage. It was long and moulded her body, showing her curves off to perfection. She had her hair up in a disarray of curls in a look Randy believed only she could pull off; elegant, sophisticated and slutty at the same time. Diamonds adorned her ears, fingers and wrist, discreet ones that didn't take all the attention away from her features.

"You like?" she asked with a smile.

"You look so beautiful, baby," he answered, giving her a little kiss. "I'm going to be the envy of every man there."

"You look good enough to eat yourself," she smiled.

He wore all black, the colour making his tan kick out.

"Thanks."

The door opened and Cena came in.

"The Limo's downstairs... wow," he said when he laid his eyes on Rae. "You look amazing, Princess."

"Thank you, kind sir. You look good, too," she smiled. "Now lets get going, we're already late as it is."

The limo took them to the Amway Arena where the Hall Of Fame Ceremony was being held. They had met Maria in the lobby of the hotel and Rae had wished she could go back on her word. Maria looked so gorgeous in a little white dress and dangling earrings she couldn't help staring. The whole ride to the arena, she had been imagining all sorts of things she could do with the Diva's limber body. Damn the list!

"Rae, stop," Randy warned.

She pulled her eyes away from the brunette to smile innocently at Randy.

"We didn't say nothing about me not looking."

"You're making the girl uncomfortable," Randy chuckled. "Come on, you said it would be just me and you tonight."

"You're right," she sighed. "We're here now anyway."

The limo came to a stop and Cena got out first before helping Maria out. The fans screamed for them and flashes went off as they made their way into the building. Then Randy got out and was greeted with the usual mixed reaction which immediately turned to hushed silence when his date emerged. Randy thought they were all probably awestruck. He didn't blame them, Rae was looking seriously hot!

Randy looked down at her and smiled as he put her hand on his arm.

"You ready, sweetheart?"

It was only when they were inside that Rae thought what a stupid mistake she had made. She was in hiding. Her assistant was frantically looking for her because she had just bailed on all of her commitments. If this got out in the papers, she didn't doubt that witch would catch the first plane out here to try and drag her back to work. That would never happen. As of two weeks ago, she had started living the last days of her life. She couldn't waste her time with work now.

She knew she was the centre of attention as Randy led her to their seats. She saw Mark sitting a few rows behind so she gave him a little smile before taking her own seat. Then the party began. They were all there to pay their respects to the men and women who had paved their way, to recognise their talent. Maybe one day Randy would walk up there and accept such an accolade. She really hoped he would because she knew how hard he had worked to get where he was, and she had no doubt his legend would only continue to grow. She really wished she could be there to share it with him, but she knew her three wishes had long since run out. He'd be on his own.

She put her arms around her friend, distracting him a bit from the proceedings.

"You ok?" he whispered as he put his arm around her.

She nodded and gave him a little smile. With a smile of his own, he kissed her softly and turned to face the stage again. Still in his arms, she turned to watch the men and women being honored, too. Neither of them realised that a few people were still watching them.

* * *

It had been an emotional night in a lot of ways. She and Randy had been affected by Ric's speech as much as the rest of them. He deserved this honour, he had done so much for the industry and had taken young Randy under his wing when he was just starting. She knew Randy was feeling gutted about his mentor's looming retirement.

The wrestlers and crew were going on to a little after party but Rae didn't feel up to it. She just wanted Randy to hold her and pretend everything was going to be alright. They could talk into the night like they always did, she could make plans, even though she knew she would not carry them out. She could just pretend, for one night only, that she wasn't going to die.

"Are you alright?" John asked when they found him to say they were leaving.

"Yeah. Just tired," she assured him. "We'll see you when you get back."

She gave him a little kiss on the cheek and turned to do the same to Maria.

"I'll definitely see you tomorrow," she whispered in the brunette's ear.

Damn! She really needed to work on that. She wouldn't find what she was looking for if she was sleeping with everyone, would she?

As they made their exit, a group of men stood by the door, watching them.

"Wow," Kennedy said. "Did you really hit that?"

"A gentleman doesn't kiss and tell," Dave answered.

"So, what's going on. Are you two together now?" Brian asked.

"Did it look like they are together? She didn't even know he was here," Jeff Hardy chuckled.

"Well, thanks Jeff," Dave said sarcastically.


	6. Chapter 6

**Ok, one more. I've uploaded the first six chapters in one day now, so please review. I've got six more waiting, working on the seventh, but I can't upload until I get a response. What if I need to make changes, know what I mean? Thanks.**

Lunch with Mark hadn't gone the way she'd planned. Oh, it had been pleasant enough but he had started talking to her, really talking to her. In all the time he had been trying to get to know her, they had never talked like that. She'd got a glimpse of what lay beneath the Dead Man's mask. And she had really liked it. Halfway through the meal he had tried to explain his actions towards her mother so many years ago, how they'd both been too young and foolish to have ever made it work. Rebecca had said the same thing but she had never really believed her. Hearing from the man himself brought it all home.

So now the man had her wishing she had more time to get to know him. This whole thing had been a bad idea. She had expected to just sit there and not really feel anything, then when it was time to walk away she'd just give him a little kiss and disappear. She couldn't afford to feel anything, it would only make saying goodbye that much harder.

He walked her to her door after the meal, still talking to her.

"I really had a good time," he said when they stood in front of her door.

She turned to look into his eyes and smiled at him.

"Me, too," she answered truthfully.

"Do you want to do it again?"

The way he asked it, she could tell he was dreading her answer. Normally she didn't make such a commitment, she just brushed him off. So far she'd call the shots in the relationship, if you could call it that.

"I'd love that. Breakfast again tomorrow before you leave for the next city?"

Mark smiled and nodded his head. As he was turning to walk away, she stopped him with a hand on her arm and gave him a little kiss on the cheek. Mark was just as shocked as she was but his was more a pleasant shock. In all their time together, she had never made any contact with him at all, not even a handshake.

"Bye," she said quickly as she used her key card to enter the room she shared with her friends, then quickly closing the door to lean on it.

He was a good man. And she could tell he really was the sort of person she could run to whenever she was in trouble. But she would never get the chance. It all suddenly just started to hit her again, how life was so fucking unfair.

"Rae, what's wrong?"

Randy was sitting on the couch with John, but she realised he had been watching her. She needed to get her shit together, before Randy found out the truth.

"Nothing. It was just a bit intense, that's all," she lied as she breezed into the room and kissed him.

"How come?" he asked.

"We were talking about mom," she said softly.

It turned out that was all she needed to say. Randy pulled her down onto his lap and just held her tightly, knowing how she always drew strength on that. He didn't speak at all. Her arms around his torso, she buried her face in his chest and felt the tears slowly come. How was she ever going to let go?

* * *

That night was Wrestlemania, the biggest one yet. The moment Rae stepped out of the rental with John and Randy, she felt the electricity in the air. The Citrus Bowl was empty now but she knew in a few hours it would be filled to capacity. She couldn't wait to sink herself into the action. She was planning to sit with the crowds for some of it, she even had her own signs.

Randy chuckled when she pulled them out.

"I suck?" he asked, referring to one of the sings that was done in big, bold red letters.

"Totally," she said.

"Shouldn't it be, 'You suck'?" John asked.

"No," she smiled wickedly as they walked into the arena.

There was a buzz in the locker rooms which wasn't normally there. It was going to be a historical night in more than one way with new beginnings and heartbreaking farewells. She knew Randy was affected more than he was letting on about watching Ric fight Shawn Michaels that night. She was going to be there for him because she knew he would need her before the night was out.

"Is Snoop really going to be here?" she asked.

"Don't tell me you're planning to fuck him as well," John asked.

"No, I'm not fucking anyone at all. Why won't you guys believe me?" she stated. "He just knows how to get a party going. I think I'll hang out with him for a bit tonight."

"Yeah," Randy said, disbelieving.

They found Randy's dressing room and John continued on to his, promising to come pick Randy up for a warm up in half an hour. They had a triple threat match with HHH.

"You can watch the matches in here with me."

"You're going to watch them in here? What about that big massive screen we went past?"

"The other guys will be watching together in that room. I just thought we'd get a bit of privacy in here," Randy explained.

"Want me all to yourself, big boy?" she laughed.

Randy gave her a little smile and pulled her into a hug.

"You cried an awful long time this afternoon. I just thought maybe you'd want to talk about it."

"I'm fine Randy," she assured him.

He looked down into her eyes which were still a bit puffy and red.

"You sure?" he asked softly.

"Yeah. You know you'd be the first to know if I wasn't."

He kissed the top of her head and let her go.

"Ok, so maybe you can tell me about Columbia," he said as he took his gear out of the bag.

"That's a long story," she said evasively. "It requires a shit load of alcohol and your undivided attention before it can even be told."

Randy chuckled.

"Ok then. When we land in Albany on Tuesday, when this pay per view is behind us, it's a date."

Good. That meant she had two days to come up with the perfect story.

* * *

Eventually the match everyone had been waiting for came up. They made their way to the main lounge where they watched the match with the rest of the crew and superstars. Ric's last match was probably the most memorable of the whole night, and even before Shawn mouthed the words, 'I'm sorry, I love you,' tears were streaming down her cheeks. She held on to Randy because she knew, as useless as she looked, he was getting some comfort from her. They watched as Ric made his final walk down the ramp, on the grandest stage of them all , amid the cheers and tears of his fans in the sold out Citrus Bowl.

"You okay?" she asked Randy.

"Yeah," he replied hoarsely, smiling down at her sadly before planting a little kiss on her lips.

Again, they were unaware that their little moment was being observed.

It was an emotional night. She thought every match had been executed perfectly, and when it was time for Randy to shine, she had sat in the front row and cheered her lungs out. She would have jumped over the security rail to stand in his corner but she didn't think Vince would appreciate that. His creative team would have had to come up with a story to explain her presence. Besides, she didn't want to be a distraction. Randy was fighting John and HHH in a triple threat for the WWE Championship, which was what he cared for the most in the world. Next to her and his family, of course.

When he finally held his belt high and walked out of the ring, playing the heel to a tee, she must have been the only one really cheering. She felt bad for John, of course, but that was the nature of the business. You had to let someone else shine. She caught his wink as he walked past her and screamed some more. The camera man came right up to her face and she held one of her big signs up, the one that said RKO 4EVA. Noone could doubt her support.

She caught up with him in the back eventually and he had already showered and dressed.

"You did good out there," she said to him.

"Thanks, baby," he said as he hugged her.

"How's John feeling?"

"He'll live," Randy laughed. "Your dad's match is up next. Wanna watch that?"

"Yeah."

Randy looked for a minute.

"You really are going to give the guy a chance," he stated

"What, you didn't believe me? He's the only family I have left."

"And you've got me," Randy said as he led her to the wrestlers' lounge. "You'll always have me."

"I know," she smiled at him.

John was already at the large plasma with a bunch of the other guys. She blew him a little kiss before making herself comfortable on Randy's lap.

Again, they were unaware of being watched.


	7. Chapter 7

**Thank you luciusprincess, w8ing4rain, MissUnlucky, cameronchick. These next two chapters are for you. Don't forget to review.**

* * *

"We could have stayed in tonight, you know," Randy said to her when he pulled her back at the entrance of the exclusive club in the heart of Orlando. "We haven't really sat down to talk since you came."

"Lets just go in and have a good time. I'm with you for a few weeks, we'll have plenty of time to do that."

She followed John and Maria in, her hand in Randy's. She was ready to enjoy herself. That was, after all, what this whole trip was about. Maybe she'd meet this fabled Mr. Right tonight. Who knew?

There were bodies everywhere; grinding on the dancefloor, in various locks along the walls and all the tables seemed taken. The lighting was dim and the music was loud, loud enough so she couldn't hear herself think. Just the way she liked it. If she could find someone who liked it too, then they were in the money!

"Come on, handsome," she laughed. "Lets show these people how it's done."

She pulled him towards the dancefloor, her body already moving to the beat and her eyes scanning scanning the crowd for that 'someone'. This was what she had lived for, this decadent lifestyle with all it's reckless treats. That was all changed now. It was time to slow down. She used to have a motto, that she tried everything once. How else was she to know if it was good or bad? So, in her 25 years, she had discovered that she had a high tolerance for absolutely everything. She had judged noone, even though people were constantly judging her. The old Rae never gave a shit! She'd thought, live and let live, what was so fucking wrong with that? But she had learned that, in order to actually find someone to give a shit about her, she needed to give a shit about them, too. That would be so hard!

As they got to the dancefloor the DJ changed the music and took it all the way back to the old school. With the way things changed in this day and age, it was probably from the school that was torn down before the old school was built. She didn't care, it was one of her favorites. The old Ice Cube song where he commanded her to put her ass into it. She did just that, moving herself on Randy then bending over and shaking her delicious little behind against him. She loved dancing, loved the feeling of just letting the music control her. It wasn't hard, really, to look good when you had an excellent partner. Randy could certainly teach her a move or two!

"If you carry on like this you'll make me embarrass myself right here," Randy growled in her ear.

"You could always grab one of those girls and do her in the bathroom," she laughed.

"Public toilets? I haven't done that since I was nineteen."

"Oh, yes. I remember that well," she chuckled, remembering how he had got caught and had them all thrown out of the fancy restaurant they'd been at.

"I'm going to grab a drink. I'm sure one of these men watching you won't mind taking my place."

"I told you, I ain't looking to get laid!" she said.

"Yeah," Randy laughed. "Half the men in here are probably imagining you naked right now. I'll give you half an hour before you cave in."

* * *

"My, my," Ria said, fanning herself with her hand. "Those two could light a fire. Are they really not ... you know..."

John chuckled as he handed Maria her drink.

"They are just really, really... really close," he laughed. "So what do you think of Rae?"

Ria remembered the way the blonde girl had been looking at her in the car on the way over and felt a faint flush on her cheeks. Boy, Randy hadn't been kidding. Even though she was wearing a little black dress which wasn't slutty at all Rae had made her feel like she was completely naked. The girl had looked like she was dying to rip her clothes off her and do some pretty wicked things to her body. And for a minute there she'd thought she wouldn't mind at all...

"She's... something," Ria laughed. "She reminds me of someone, I can't think who right now."

John laughed.

"What?"

"Nothing. I'm sure it'll come to you."

They watched Randy and Rae some more and Ria couldn't help thinking how sexy the other girl looked. She wore a slutty little white halter top that said, 'I'm a virgin' and yet her full breasts were bursting out of it. Her midriff was bare and her bottom was covered by the skankiest little shorts she had ever seen. She had her feet in incredibly high heeled, knee length boots and her hair was a mass of golden curls on top of her head. She looked like she had just been well and truly fucked and was still ready for more.

"I've seen her work and I love it, but doesn't she worry about bad publicity and all that?"

"Racheal doesn't worry about anything, she does whatever the hell she wants," John replied. "Believe it or not, the more bad publicity she gets the more work she gets. I don't know why."

"Has she always been like that?"

"I've only known her about five or six years but I think so."

"What's she like?"

"A total bitch, mostly. But if you're her friend she'll fight in your corner with everything she's got. She's amazing, actually, in that way. She's never let me down and I know she'd do anything for me."

"So this is all a facade? She's really sweet and sensitive, and all that?"

"Sadly, no. What you see is what you get," John laughed.

"So, if you don't mind my asking, how come you guys are so close?"

"She kinda grew on me. I met her the first time I traveled with Randy, before her career took off. I'd just broken up with someone and was totally messed up. I tried to do something stupid and she sort of... saved me."

Maria looked at the superstar, shock registering in her eyes.

"No, nothing like that. It's a long story," John assured her. "She took me back to her mother's place for a couple of days, told me what was what and we've been good friends since."

"So she_ is_ sweet and sensitive."

"Only to her friends. She doesn't give a fuck about anyone else."

"Like Randy," she said, then her eyes lit up. "That's who she reminds me of. God, why didn't I see that before, they are so freakishly alike"

John laughed again

"Told you it would come to you."

* * *

"Aren't you even a bit bothered by that?"

Dave looked down as the woman he had spent the best part of the morning the day before with danced with Randy. She had been incredible, by far the best lay he'd ever had. The girl enjoyed everything; the simplest touch, the softest kiss, a single look; it all made her incredibly horny and so easy to please. Everything about her had been so intense it had certainly turned up the heat between them. In the end, he hadn't fucked her; he had made love to her. He had worshipped every inch of her body, the way she had done his.

"It was what it was, Brian," he answered as he finished his beer.

"You think maybe she sleeps around in the day then crawls into Orton's bed to fuck him at night? They certainly look cozy."

Dave looked down again and thought how right Brian was. You couldn't have that much chemistry with someone and not do anything about it. Orton certainly didn't look unaffected.

"I don't know, Brian," he said as he got up to get another drink. "Anyone want another one?"

Dave saw the way Adam and Kennedy had to struggle to pull their eyes off the girl.

"Uh... nah, man. I'm cool," Kennedy said.

Adam only managed to shake his head. It was understandable. He wished he could just sit there and watch as well but he just couldn't take that, not when he knew he would never sleep with her again. The girl had certainly made sure to clarify that point.

"I'm going down there," Adam said suddenly when they saw Randy and Rae heading for their table.

"Hey, I saw her come in first," Brian objected.

"What is this, high school?" Adam asked with an amused look.

"I'm coming down with you," Kennedy said. "I want to see her up close."

* * *

"Hey! It's Horny and Hornier," Randy laughed when Ken and Adam came to their table.

Rae, who'd been whispering a load of sweet nothings in Ria's ear, looked up to see the two buff wrestlers standing over her. They were both dressed in jeans and t-shirts that stretched across their chests. And they were practically eating her up. She felt the tell tale heat spreading through her body and struggled to kill it. How the hell was she supposed to find a proper relationship with all this temptation being thrown her way?

"Would you like to dance?" Adam blurted out.

"Sure," Rae replied with a little smile. "With both of you, right?"

Hey, it was just a dance! She could control herself and stop at that.

"I could handle that," Ken grinned.

Getting up, she gave them both a wicked smile and she brushed passed them as she led the way to the dance floor.

"Damn! I wish I'd put money on this dating thing she's trying to do," Randy laughed.

"What dating thing?" Ria asked.

"She's got it in her head that she needs to find a proper relationship," John answered.

"Well, what's wrong with that?"

"The girl's hornier than a pack of bitches in heat! She couldn't last a day with no sex. Besides which, most people tend to bore her after she's done with them," Randy explained. "I don't see how that's going to work. Especially if she's taking both those men back to the room tonight."

"Both of them? Don't you guys mind at all?" Ria asked, open mouthed.

"If I was her, I'd have picked maybe Shelton as well," Randy teased. "If the guy hadn't been injured in that ladder match, I'd have put my money on a foursome!"

"Randy!" Ria gasped.

"Hey, she's a big girl. She can handle that," he laughed. "Speaking of which, I see a certain group of ladies just dying to wallow in my amazing presence. Excuse me."

They watched him walk to a group of girls nearby who had indeed been trying to get his attention. Ria shook her head and turned back to John.

"Wow," she laughed.

"Yeah," John agreed.

* * *

Dave nursed his drink as his eyes unwillingly found their way to the trio on the dancefloor. Fuck! It had been just one time. He did this sort of thing all the time. So why the hell did he feel like going down there and knocking those little punks down? The way Adam had his hands all over her body... The way Ken couldn't keep his off her butt... It was making him really angry. And it shouldn't. He was a grown man, he knew what was what.

"Man, I wish I was Ken right now," Brian said.

"Will you quit talking about that already?" Dave snapped. "Finish up, I need an early night. It's been a long day."

* * *

From his seat at the bar, another man watched her. He'd been watching her since she made her entrance and hadn't been able to tear his eyes off her since. The woman was like a witch, casting her spell on every person in the room, making everyone drool. All he was thinking was how he'd love to pull her away from Copeland and Kennedy and fuck her right there on the dancefloor. He hadn't felt like that in a long time.

But he knew he'd be way out of his depth. He didn't do one night stands and this woman clearly lived for them. She loved attention, judging by the way she was lapping it all up on the dancefloor and by all the exploits he's read about in the papers and magazines. Yes, he knew all about her. The girl had been around the block so many times and so fast she should have, by rights, been reeling. Girls like that made him sick. What made them think they could get away with that? He didn't conform to rules either, but the last thing he'd do was use another human being even if they were willing.

Besides, the woman was already taken. He'd watched her with Orton a few times. The last thing he wanted was to start something with a woman in love with someone else.

"She's hot, isn't she?" Matt asked his brother.

Jeff turned away from the scene and ordered another drink.

"I guess," he answered.

Of course she was hot. The problem was that she knew it.

"I wouldn't mind if she came up to me and paid me that sort of attention," Matt chuckled as he continued to look at the trio.

"I know. You've mentioned that a few times."

"Are you telling me that you wouldn't do her? I know you're still hurting, Jeff, but how could you resist that?"

"I don't like my women loose and fancy free."

"Not for a permanent relationship, no," Matt said. "But it doesn't hurt to have fun once in a while."

Jeff only grunted.

"Come on, Jeff. Loosen up a bit. I brought you out to enjoy yourself," Matt said, ordering another drink. "Stop sitting there like your cat just died. If you don't like Rae, there are plenty of other nice women in here."

"I don't need a woman to enjoy myself," Jeff stated.

"But they help," Matt chuckled as a brunette in tight jeans and a tight top brushed past him and gave him a wicked smile.

"Why don't you go ahead," Jeff suggested when he noticed the little exchange. "I'll be fine."

"You sure?" Matt asked, but he was already following the woman.

Jeff shook his head and drained his drink. He'd have one more then he'd go. As he ordered it, he couldn't help looking at the trio again. He didn't need a second guess to know where they were going to end up later. He shook his head and looked away. How could anyone be so blatantly sexual? It was as if she wore a sign that said 'fuck me, I'm easy'!

Well, maybe it was better like that, when you knew what you were getting right from the start. It had taken him so many years to finally see through Beth and realise she wore the same sign. He was finding it hard to trust any woman after that. How could he have been so blind when so much of it had gone on right in front of his eyes? Well, he wasn't doing that again in a hurry.

Draining his drink, he got up to make his way out but backed into someone.

"Sorry," he started, turning around.

"Don't worry about it. I like being bumped into."

Jeff looked straight into the blue eyes of the woman who'd been the talk of the whole company since she arrived only two days before. Then she gave him a wicked smile as Kennedy and Adam led her out of the club.

He shook his head again at the sight then also made his exit. What he needed was an early night. If he didn't dream about Beth, at least he'd have a few hours' break from thoughts of that cheating, lying bitch.


	8. Chapter 8

**I had to change things around to fit in with my story. Don't forget to review. Next chapter won't go up till I know what you're thinking. Thanks.**

* * *

Rae had been kicking herself since she left Adam's room, which was only an hour ago. She'd arrived only three days ago and she'd already slept with four people. It didn't help that Randy had just laughed in her face about it.She knew he didn't think she could stick to just one person but that was because he didn't understand how vital it was that she did. John had been more sympathetic, telling her that she just needed a bit of self control and she'd do it, but that was the one thing she'd never been able to master. If she could control herself, she wouldn't have been such a mess, would she?

The elevator stopped and when it opened revealed the one person she didn't really want to deal with. He was with Kendrick.

"Hi," Dave said as they got in.

"Hey," she smiled then looked away.

See, in the past she never had any of these awkward situations. She would have easily blanked him out and blatantly gone to work on his friend. She'd never given a shit about anyone else. But now she was trying to be nice. After sleeping with him the other morning, he had cuddled her and tried to start talking. The boredom had set in straight away. It wasn't that he was boring, in fact he was far from it, but she had found she still couldn't stand conversation with a conquest. She found it pointless. So instead of getting to know him like she had planned, she'd had to tell him she would never be with him again. She hadn't said it in a nice way, either.

"I'm Brian."

Rae looked at the eager young man next to Dave and smiled. The old Rae would have eaten him up right there. He was giving out the unmistakable signals but he was still so green. She could teach him a thing or two.

"Nice to meet you, Brian," she said, then turned back to her deligent inspection of the elevator buttons.

"Did you have a nice night?" Dave asked.

Was that a hint of sarcasm? With a frown she turned her head to face the Animal and saw the expression in his eyes. So he knew about her little party?

"Very nice, thank you," she answered drily.

He would get over it.

"I don't get you," Dave started. "I don't get you at all."

"You don't have to," she smiled, letting out a silent prayer of thanks when the doors opened on the ground floor. "Have a nice life, Dave. And it was a pleasure meeting you, Brian."

With that she walked out, looking so good noone would have guessed she was running on no sleep.

* * *

Taker and the Smackdown roster were leaving the hotel that morning but Raw was staying on because the show that night was at the Armway Center where they had held the Hall of Fame Ceremony on Saturday. She walked into the restaurant at eight as they had agreed, and saw him seated at a far corner. Stifling a little yawn, she made her way to him and hoped he wouldn't tell she was fresh out of an all night long tumble. Adam and Ken were... energetic, to say the least. They had more than kept up with her gigantic appetite which had come as a pleasant surprise. She had almost wished the morning wouldn't come but inevitably, it had and she'd had to tell them they could never do that again. There had never been a question of finding her Mr. Right between them. You couldn't start a relationship with someone you had a threway with, even she knew that. There would be too many trust issues involved.

"Rough night?" Mark as when she'd sat down.

"Yeah. Something like that."

"I heard some things earlier about what you did last night with Copeland and Kennedy," Mark frowned.

Rae stopped her perusal of the menu and gave him a sharp look.

"Are you honestly trying to 'daddy' me right now?" she asked with a sarcastic laugh.

"Well, I _am_ your dad."

"Yeah, well I was doing mighty fine without you," Rae said as she put the menu down.

Taker held her angry gaze with one of his own, one that would have made bigger, stronger men look away. But Rae was as stubborn as they came. She was, after all, his daughter.

"Are we back to this again?" Mark asked finally. "If your idea of getting to know me is taking what you want and leaving what you don't like, then I'm sorry, little girl, that won't happen. I'm your father, I have a right to question your choices. You don't necessarily have to take my advice but I have a right to let you know what I think, to give you guidance."

"I'm 25 now, I don't need anyone's approval to do what I want. I know what's wrong and right and most of the time I choose what's wrong. That's my choice," Rae stated, her back up. She knew that sounded totally spoiled but she was kicking herself over the previous night as well. Noone would take her seriously after that and she didn't need Mark telling her that. "I've seen how Randy is with you, how he's afraid to say anything wrong. I won't do that."

Taker put his menu down and folded his arms as he sat back in his chair.

"What do you want from me, Racheal?"

Racheal looked away from him and started fiddling with her menu. She wasn't going about this the right way, was she? She couldn't expect to build a relationship with Mark if she was as stubborn and selfish as she'd been before she had put him down on the list. She couldn't separate him from the rest of her life.

"Well?" Mark asked.

"I don't know," she answered honestly. "A year and a half ago you suddenly became the only family I have. I decided I have to get to know you but we are very different people. You're cozy nights in and good conversations while I party hard and live fast."

"Trust me, that's usually the way with parents and their kids."

"Yeah, but we're doing this 25 years too late. I don't know what to do," she stated. "That and the fact that I'm sure you won't like me once you know me. I'm the type of person who kicks people when they are down and laugh in the face of their misfortunes. I do bad things just for fun. I can count my real friends on two fingers. My life so far has been totally meaningless and I guess I thought building a relationship with you would somehow give it a bit of meaning, that maybe I'd matter to someone other than Randy and John."

"What are you talking about? Of course you matter. I might not have found you till you were sixteen but I thought of you everyday. If I had known Rebecca had got married and her new name, I'd have found you sooner, please believe me."

"I know. It's just... I didn't want to be alone anymore."

Taker put his hand over hers on the table, forcing her to look at him.

"You have me and Sara, you're not alone," he said. "And for the record, I know what type of person you are. I've had ten years of you, remember?"

"And you're still here," Rae stated.

"I'm still here," he smiled. "So what do you say we take one day at a time till you get used to the fact that I will in fact try my hardest to force my will on you. That is what parents do, isn't it?"

"I think you've read the wrong parenting books," Rae laughed.

* * *

"What do you think that's all about?" Matt asked his brother.

"Stop being nosey," Jeff chided as he gave his order.

"Come on, aren't you even a bit curious? I've never seen Taker smile like that. You think maybe..."

"Eeeww!" Jeff cut in before his brother could finish the sentence. "That is way too scary to even contemplate. I think maybe they're just friends."

"What would Taker have in common with her?"

"Maybe she's got hidden depths."

Matt guffawed .

"Yeah, right!" he said.

"Just order your breakfast, Matt. You still have to look at my sketches before you catch your plane," Jeff said.

"Why don't you do what normal people do and maybe just buy dad a car?" Matt asked.

"That would be completely meaningless and not me," Jeff stated. "Besides, he's going to love it once it's done. It's of mum."

It was 21 years that year since their mother had passed away from brain cancer but her memory was alive and well in the Hardy family. Jeff liked to think she was always looking down at him and protecting him.

"I'm sure it's brilliant, as all you work is," Matt said to his little brother.

* * *

Rae paled as she felt the splitting headache. Shit! Of all the times for that to come on...

"Are you alright?" Mark asked.

"Yeah, I just need to go lie down for a bit," she lied as she quickly got up.

They had long since finished their breakfast and had just been talking over coffee.

"I'll walk you to your door."

"No, it's alright. I just overdid it last night," she lied again. "Finish your coffee. Call me anytime, Randy told me to stress that point."

She gave him a quick kiss and an impulsive little hug.

"Maybe I'll come visit you for a few days when you're home."

"I'd love that," Taker smiled. "Now go, you like like you're about to lose your breakfast."

She did as she was told and rushed out of the restaurant. When she knew she was out of sight, she ruffled through her bag until she found what she was looking for. She didn't realise the two men waiting at the elevators were watching her as she popped the pills down. All she needed now was to get to her room and pop a sleeping pill down her. Randy wouldn't ask any questions, he already knew she hadn't got any sleep the previous night.

"A bitch _and_ a junkie! Who would have guessed?" a voice said sarcastically.

She heard it, but it was more like a loud humming noise, grating on her over-sensitive nerves. Leaning against the wall, she waited for the doors to open, praying that she wouldn't pass out before she got to her bed. She should have planned for this, worked out a way to avoid Randy and John when she had her attacks. The last thing she wanted was to pass out in front of them and wake up in a hospital.

"Are you still drunk?" another voice asked.

The sound of it cut through her like a knife, making her wince. It was unbearable. How the hell was she going to go through the next few weeks like this?

The doors opened and she stumbled in.

"Are you alright?"

Couldn't these people just stop talking? Grabbing on to the railing, she waited what seemed like an eternity for them to follow her in and the doors to close. At this rate, she wouldn't make it to her bed in time.

"What floor?"

Oh, God! No, she wouldn't make it. She held on as hard as she could but she knew that wouldn't stop her from hitting the floor. Her head felt like it was exploding into a million little pieces, painfully reforming then exploding all over again. Her ears were ringing and her vision was blurred. She felt the darkness coming, felt the strength leave her body as she started to slide to the floor. She felt strong hands catch her and she looked up to catch a glimpse of rainbow coloured hair.

"Don't take me to Randy...just let me sleep," she whispered hoasley just as the darkness came.

* * *

"You heard what she said, man. She obviously doesn't want Randy to see her like this," Jeff said as they both looked down at the blonde they had just put down on the bed.

"She passed out, Jeff. We should at least get a doctor or something," Matt argued. "What if she dies on us?"

"She said to just let her sleep. Obviously this has happened to her before," Jeff said.

"Well, we owe her nothing. Lets just take her to Randy and let him worry about it," Matt said.

"Tell you what. You go get your stuff, you'll miss your plane. I'll get Randy to sort her out," Jeff suggested.

"I know you, Jeff. You won't do it," Matt said. "If I go, the next thing I'll hear is how someone died on your bed and noone knew about it till the next day."

"Look, I'm calling Randy now," he said as he found his number in his phone book. "Just go catch your plane, I'll sort it."

"Call him while I'm here."

Jeff rolled his eyes and pushed his phone in his brother's face so he could see him press the call button.

"Happy?" he asked as he put the phone to his ear.

Before the phone had a chance to ring, he pressed the end call button.

"Yeah, hi Randy," he said after a suitable amount of time passed. "We've got an emergency down here, could you come as quick as you can? Matt is freaking out."

He paused.

"It's your friend, Rae," he said. "She passed out and we don't know what to do."

He turned back to his brother as if Orton had just hung up.

"He's on his way. Now go. You've only just got back, you don't want Vince on your ass so soon."

"Alright, but call me and tell me what happens," Matt said as he gave his brother a quick hug and rushed to the door. "You'll have to take a picture of your sketches and text it to me or something. I'll see you soon."

"Take care of yourself, Matty."

When his brother was gone, Jeff walked back to his bed. He should have just rang Orton, the last thing he needed right now was drama. Especially if it involved the drugs he had seen her take. He'd caught a glimpse of the label and thought how, not so long ago he'd had a whole carton of those at his disposal. It had nearly cost him his career. He knew why he'd needed such strong painkillers, but why the hell was she taking them? They didn't give those out on prescirptions, he knew that.

Taintively, he put his fingers on the side of her neck to feel her pulse. She wasn't dying, as Matt had claimed. He pulse was weak but it was there. She had just passed out. It could have been the amount of alcohol she had consumed the night before. It could be the lack of sleep from the activities Kennedy was bragging about to anyone who'd listen. She was a party girl, obviously she didn't look after herself properly. That had to be it. Maybe someone had told her it was cool to do the drugs she did. She certainly looked like she had tried everything decadent and addictive more than once in the course of her life.

She stirred and Jeff was immediately drawn back from his musings. The first thing he noticed was the expression of pain on her face as she tried to move her head. Her eyes were closed but he heard her wimper and saw the tears that slid down the sides of her face. That didn't look like a hangover to him. What the hell was going on with her? Should he call the doctor?

"Please..." she moaned. "Give me some more painkillers."

"Shh. You've just had some. Give them time to work," he whispered back, a frown marring his features.

"It hurts... I can't do this...," she cried.

"What hurts?"

"My head... please," she begged.

She still hadn't opened her eyes and it looked like talking was making her feel worse. His frown grew as he realised there was a lot more going on than he'd realised. Those painkillers would have killed a mere headache in seconds.

"I can't give you any more. Those pills are dangerous."

She let out a frustrated little breath as her tears increased. He noticed how she was clutching the bed covers as if her life depended on it, how she looked completely pale.

"I'm calling a doctor," Jeff said as he reached in his pocket for his phone.

"No!"

The little outburst cost her dearly, he noticed. She bundled up into a feutal position and put her hands on her temples, all the while wincing.

"You're in terrible pain. I need to do something."

"Just a few more painkillers... and some sleeping pills... I'll be alright when I get up."

"Rachael..."

"Please," she pleaded weakly. "I can't take the pain."

He sat there for another moment, deliberating. What the hell was he supposed to do?

"Please. I swear I'll explain when I get up," she pleaded.

With a heavy sigh, he reached for the bag he had placed on the bedside table and found the pills. She was still wimpering, still writhing in pain. He had to do it, he couldn't see another way. Getting a glass of water, he found a bottle of sleeping pills in his bag and popped one out as well as a couple of painkillers. She took them gratefully from him then settled back on the pillow.

"Rae," he whispered. "Tell me whats going on. Have you had these headaches long?"

"A while," she answered as the sleeping pill started working.

"Have you seen a doctor about it?"

"Yes."

"What did he say?"

"I've got a tumor..."

Then sleep claimed her.


	9. Chapter 9

**Wow. Day two and I have that many reviews. I'd like to thank God, my family and WWE because I could never have done this without them. And last but not least, I want to thank the fans. I do this for you and you make it so worthwhile... LOL. Anyway, thanks. Keep 'em coming, you know the deal. Reviews before updates. Much love.**

* * *

When Rae opened her eyes she felt like death warmed over.

"Fuck!" she swore to herself.

Why the hell was this happening to her? Was she being punished for the fast life she had led? Had she caused too much heartache to too many people? Was she too much of a selfish, cold hearted bitch to deserve to live? It was ironic really, how she had watched the disease claim both her step dad and mother and now she was suffering the same fate.

"How are you feeling?"

She turned her head to see the rainbow haired warrior sitting in a chair next to the bed. He had a sketch pad in his lap and headphones around his neck.

"I could be better," she smiled sadly as she sat up.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked.

"Not really."

Hardy nodded his head and put the pad down.

"I ordered some food," he said. "I thought maybe you'd want to get something down you before you go back to your room."

"I'm not really hungry," she said.

"You should eat something. It'll help you keep your strength up."

"I'll catch a bite later with Randy."

"He called, by the way. He must have tried about a hundred times before I decided to answer it. I hope you don't mind."

"What did you tell him?" she asked in a panic.

"Relax. I just told him you were sleeping and he came up with his own conclusions," Jeff assured her, watching her face intently the whole time. "So what is he? Your boyfriend?"

Rae laughed at that.

"No. He's just my best friend. We met when I was one and he was three when my mum moved down the road from their family and we've been inseparable since," she explained.

"Is that why you won't tell him?"

Rae looked away from the searching gaze.

"I told you I don't want to talk about it."

"If you pass out like this often, I'm guessing he'll find out anyway."

"Look, I'll tell him when I'm ready," she snapped. "It's none of your business anyway."

"You're right, it's none of my business. But I think you really need to tell him. When you go through the treatment, you're going to need someone there for you."

She grunted in amusement. Treatment? He was a fucking joker, wasn't he?

"What was that for?"

"Nothing," she lied as she got off the bed. "You're right. I'll tell him soon. Just don't say a word until I do, okay?"

"Sure."

As she stretched, she caught a glimpse of the sketch he had been doing. It was her, but she could hardly recognise herself. The woman in the sketch looked like she was just sleeping, she could almost feel the glow radiating from that woman's face as if she'd just enjoyed a lovely morning tumble. She looked like she didn't have a care in the world.

"I hope you don't mind. I sketch when I'm anxious or just thinking. It helps me relax," Jeff said.

"It's beautiful," she said truthfully.

"I had a lot of that to work with," he smiled.

Rae looked at him as if she was seeing him for the first time. He was gorgeous, sure, she'd noticed that straight away, but now she realised he had so many dimensions. Everyone knew he was very creative but she'd never seen it firsthand. She'd never wanted to, actually.

"You're really good. How come you're slaving away for Vince when you could be making loads of money doing this?"

"My art is my thing. Maybe one day, when my body can't take being abused as much, I'll quit wrestling and pursue that. For now I just use it to keep me sane."

"What were you thinking about, when you did the sketch? You said you use it to help you relax."

"My mum," he answered quietly.

"You were thinking of your mum while you sketched that hot goddess? Kinky, but whatever rocks your boat, man!" she chuckled.

"No," Jeff laughed, then sobered up when he looked at the sketch again. "My mum died when I was nine. She had brain cancer."

The smile left her face as well as reality came once again to bite her in the butt.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I didn't mean to bring it all up for you again."

"It's always there with me," he said. "Time makes the pain better but it never leaves you."

"I know. That's why I was leaving it till the very last minute to tell Randy. I want to give him as many good memories as I can."

"You say that as if it's already beaten you," Jeff said.

"It's not that," she lied. "It's just that I lost my mum a year and a half ago to it. She fought it for three years and still lost so I don't really see much hope for me."

"What are the doctors saying?"

She turned away from him so his observant eyes wouldn't catch the lie.

"They say I have a good chance," she said. "In a few weeks they'll know what course of action to take and book me in."

"I'm sorry. I know you said you didn't want to talk about it," Jeff said as he stood up to stand behind her. "And I know if you did want to talk about it, it wouldn't be with me. We're hardly friends. We've never even been introduced."

"My bad," she smiled, turning to face him again. "You seem like a good guy and after what you did for me today, I'd like to think that we can be friends. Racheal Taylor. Well, Racheal Taylor Callaway."

"No shit!" Jeff chuckled. "You came from the Dead Man? That explains a lot."

"What's that supposed to mean?" she frowned.

"Nothing. It's just that people have seen you having meals with him this weekend and there's been a lot of speculation," he explained.

"Ewww!"

"I know. That's what I said," Jeff laughed. "Taker's daughter? Wow. Now I have to make sure I don't mess with you."

"You couldn't have messed with me even if Mark wasn't my dad!" she chuckled. "I've brought down bigger and stronger men."

"I can believe that," Jeff answered. "So how come noone knows about this, anyway?"

"Long story. To cut it short, when I found out I was dying I decided to get to know him better," she answered as she picked up her bag from the table.

"Don't say that."

"What?"

"That you're dying. You haven't even started the battle yet."

"I know," she sighed.

She could see she had to watch everything she said around this man.

"I'm going now, but I'll see you at the show later," she said. "Thanks for what you did for me, Jeff. I hope I can repay you somehow."

"You don't need to do that," he said as he walked with her to the door. "If you need to talk, just come and find me, okay?"

"Sure," she smiled.

As she made her way to the room she was sharing with Randy and John, she thought how easy Jeff had been to talk to. She never really talked to anyone other than Randy and John, maybe that was her problem. She never saw other people as people, just potential bed partners. So maybe Jeff was what she needed. She could get to know him then maybe they'd form some sort of connection. He was weird, John and Randy always said that about him, but maybe weird was what she needed. She'd never get bored then and she wouldn't need to find another person to sleep with, at least not for the few weeks that she had to carry out her plans. As for the sex, she had her toys to tide her over until a suitable time had passed for her to sleep with him.

And how the hell would she know when a suitable time had passed? She'd have to ask John how these things worked. She didn't have a single clue.

* * *

"What do you want to watch?"

"I don't know what half this stuff is," Randy said as he went through the dvds that Rae had brought with her. "I don't even think they've been released yet. Mirrors? You know that one?"

"No," John replied as he grabbed them beers from the mini fridge. "How the hell does she get them, anyway?"

"She sleeps with the right people!" Randy said as he finally picked one that looked good.

"She's been acting a bit different. Have you noticed that?" John asked.

"Yeah. I think it's this list of hers. It's changed her a lot, she lives like she's dying tomorrow," Randy answered.

"I wonder why she won't show it to us," John mused.

"Probably because it's got shit crazy things on it," Randy said dryly. "If I'd known she was going to Columbia, to the jungles no less, I'd have put my foot down."

"Me, too," John agreed as the movie Randy had picked started. "Maybe we should ask her to tone it down a bit."

"I don't think it will be necessary. Not anytime soon, anyway. With her trying to date and fall in love, that could take a while."

"You don't think she'll do it," John stated, looking at his friend.

"Come on, John. You've known her a long time, you know as much as I do that most people bore her to tears. She couldn't last a day in a relationship."

"Are you saying she's never even had a proper relationship?" John asked incredulously.

"Once, a long time ago, she tried the dating thing," he answered. "She was only sixteen at the time."

"What happened?"

"We tried it for a few weeks and decided we were better off as friends."

"We?"

"Oh. Didn't I tell you? I hold the record for being not only her longest relationship but her only one," Randy chuckled.

"No, you never mentioned that to me."

Randy chuckled.

"I should have. Funny story that was."

"Are you going to explain?"

"We were young and foolish. She had it in her head that she was in love with this jerk and I had to do something to make her see sense."

"So you asked her out?"

"It's complicated. Bottom line is I persuaded her I was the best person she could lose her virginity to and we took it from there."

"So what you're saying is you ruined the whole dating thing for her? No wonder she's so messed up. You are the wrong person to show anyone anything about relationships."

"Actually, she ruined it for me. I caught her with the same bastard she'd tried to sleep with first about two weeks in the relationship."

John laughed.

"It's not funny, bro. She broke my heart."

"I find that very hard to believe," John put in.

"Okay, so when I found her I'd just come from doing the hot girl who'd just moved into the neighborhood, but she didn't know that."

"Are you sure?"

"It doesn't matter, anyway. We were both so relieved we didn't have to pretend we were happy. We had one last fuck and that was it."

"You two actually...?"

"Every spare minute we could get. Even when we shouldn't have. She's very creative," Randy chuckled.

"So how did you go from being lovers back to just friends?"

"We're too alike to ever work out. Imagine going to your favourite bar and your girl is there. Then going to your favourite strip club and she's there. And imagine her shouting her lungs out right next to you at every game, every monster truck rally. It wouldn't work. We realised that and just moved on."

"Most people actually think having things in common is a good thing."

"Not when you're trying to get laid by someone else it isn't!" Randy argued. "Besides, we've got a deal. Once she hits thirty we'll both be ready to settle down. She'll pop out a few of my kids to fill up our home and we'll live happily ever after."

"That easy, is it?"

"Actually, yeah."

"So what happens when she does fall in love and she wants someone else's babies?"

"Dude, that will never happen."

"How can you be so sure?"

"I just am."

Rae walked in at that moment, cutting their conversation.

"Hey people," she said happily as she sat down between them on the couch. "Did you miss me?"

"Like a hole in the head," John answered, earning himself a little punch. "So why the big grin on your face?"

"I think I found him," Rae answered.

"Him?" Randy questioned.

"The man I'm going to fall in love with."


	10. Chapter 10

**I'm posting the next two chapters then I won't be back till Monday. Thank you all for the review and adding me to your favs and alerts. I'm enjoying writing this story. I didn't know I could be so funny! lol. Just joking, it's all depressing stuff, aint' it? So read and review please. When I come back I'll put the next few chapters up. Thanks.**

* * *

"You can't just command yourself to fall in love, you know," John said as they walked into the arena for the show that night.

"I know, but I like him and I think he's interesting. That's a start, isn't it?"

"I like a lot of interesting women. It doesn't mean I'm in love with them," John argued.

Both Randy and Rae looked back at him incredulously.

"You fall in love with every woman you meet!" Randy exclaimed.

"You're supposed to be backing me up, Randy."

"I would if I actually believed anything would come out of this. The day Rae falls in love, I'll eat my shoe!"

"Well, get your shoe ready, you little prick, coz here comes loverboy right now," Rae smiled.

Sure enough, Jeff was heading in their direction down the hall. Randy just let out a disgusted grunt.

"What the hell is your problem?" Rae asked.

"Remember that song, the one that says 'once a whore, you're nothing more, I'm sorry that will never change'?" Randy sneered. "People don't pick girls like you for serious relationships."

Rae stopped in her tracks and let out a gasp at her friend's hurtful words. Everyone called her a whore, and she was. But Randy had never uttered those words to her before. He, of all people, should have understood why she did what she did.

"Randy!" John exclaimed.

"Hey," Jeff said when he was close enough, giving Rae a little smile and cutting into the conversation.

"Hey, Jeff," she answered, a little frown marring her face.

"I'm just heading down to Catering. Wanna hang out?" he asked, obviously feeling the tension between the three of them. And of course, he couldn't have missed the dark scowl on Orton's face.

"Sure," she said, not even looking back at Randy as she took the arm Jeff offered and walked away with him.

Both Cena and Orton watched them walk away.

"That won't last," Randy said again.

"I don't know. You know how she is when she sets her mind on something," John said. "She spent the whole morning with him and didn't even sleep with him. I'd say that's pretty serious for Rae."

"I'll give it to the end of the week. She'd have slept with him and thrown him away by then."

"What the hell is your problem?" John snapped. "Are you jealous?"

"Don't be ridiculous!" Randy frowned as he turned away and started walking in the opposite direction.

* * *

"So what was that all about?" Jeff asked when he grabbed a couple of bottles of water from catering.

"Nothing. Randy was just being a dick," she replied as Jeff led them to some set cases to sit on.

She hadn't really felt like having all those prying eyes on her in catering so Jeff had suggested this or his locker room. She figured she had more of a chance of controlling her natural urges sitting on the large steel cases where people were walking about.

"Anything to do with me?" Jeff questioned.

"Why would you think that?"

The last thing she wanted to do was explain that she'd picked him as her Mr. Right.

"Maybe the fact that Randy was looking at me like a bug he wanted to step on," Jeff chuckled. "Is he upset that you spent the morning with me? I could tell him nothing happened if you want."

"Trust me, I think he'd rather hear that something did happen," Rae muttered.

"I don't get it," Jeff frowned.

"I don't either," Rae said. "I'd have thought he, of all people, would stand by me."

"What do you mean?"

Rae sighed and looked away from him.

"I'm not a nice person, a number of people can testify to that," she explained. "But since my mum died I've been trying to be different. Randy thinks it's all a joke, that people can't change."

"I think they can. They can go from being sweet, nice woman to total bitches, so I think it works the other way round as well," he muttered bitterly.

Rae looked into his eyes and noticed the pain in them. Why hadn't she seen it before? He might as well have been wearing a sign but she'd missed it. As always she'd been too self absorbed.

"Wanna talk about it?" she asked.

"No."

The way he said it left no room for argument. She'd never been one to pry in other people's affairs, anyway. The only person she knew all about was Randy and for 25 years she'd been happy to keep it like that. Now she had to learn about this man. If he didn't want to talk about whatever was making him hurt like that she had to find something else to talk about.

What did people talk about when they were just hanging out? She couldn't flirt with him because that would only lead to one thing and she was trying not to do that. She couldn't tease him like she did John because they weren't that close yet. She certainly couldn't treat him like she did Randy. That relationship was almost 25 years old, noone could ever be as close to her like Randy. So what the hell was she supposed to talk about?

"Yeah..." she started, bitting her bottom lip. "So what do you want to talk about?"

"I don't know. Anything, I guess. You can tell me why you feel the need to change."

"That's easy. I can tell you the truth since you know already," she said. "I don't want to die alone."

"So you want to change everything you are to accomodate someone else? How will that make you happy?"

She hadn't looked at it like that.

"I'm not happy now anyway. I just want to feel what it's like, you know, to have someone treat you like you're the most precious thing in the world," she explained. "As it is, I'm only going to have three people at my funeral."

"Don't talk like that. You don't know if you're going to die."

Of course she was going to die. She had already decided on it. She looked away and watched some of the crew battling with their equipment at the end of the hall.

"Maybe if you tell Randy things will get better."

"How? I'll still be a selfish bitch and I'll still be dying," she said bitterly.

"You need someone, Rae. If you tell Randy, I'm sure he'll surprise you. He might be just what you need to get through the treatment."

"If I tell him then things will change. I don't want his pity, Jeff. I don't want anyone's pity," she said. "Anyway, I don't want to talk about that anymore."

"Ok. What do you want to talk about, then?"

"I got nothing. Normally I do a lot of flirting, throw in a few dirty, inappropriate remarks and do a lot of touching. Since I'm trying to change, I can't do that with you."

"No, you can't" Jeff laughed.

"You say that as if, if I did that, you'd turn me down."

"Well, I haven't exactly been throwing myself at you, have I?" Jeff said. "No offence, Rae, but you're not my type."

Not his type?! What the fuck?! She was every man's wet dream, she knew that. Unless he was gay... Was he? That would change her plan quite a lot.

"Are you gay?" she asked.

Jeff had the audacity to laugh.

"Definitely not," he answered.

She felt a bit insulted. He was more or less rejecting her before she'd made a move.

"So what are you doing with me, then?" she asked.

"I don't know. You needed me, I couldn't turn you away."

"So you're talking to me out of pity?" she asked incredulously.

"I have my own shit going on. It was just a coincidence that I was in that elevator when you passed out."

"But you said, when I was leaving, that if I needed to talk I could come to you."

"You'd just told me you have a tumor."

Rae looked away from him quickly before he could see her tears forming. She never cried. Even when the doctor had given her that news, she hadn't cried. It was pathetic that she'd cry now.

"Thanks, Hardy. I'll see you around," she murmured as she jumped down from the case.

"Rae, wait."

"It's alright, Jeff. I've got real friends, two of them. I don't need you."


	11. Chapter 11

Instead of staying to watch the show, Rae decided to head back to the hotel. She suddenly felt so tired... tired of all the shit life had thrown at her, tired of trying so hard to be something she obviously could not be. She'd never cared what people thought of her before but tonight it had got to her. How could Randy have said that to her? And how dare Jeff pretend he wanted to be friends when all the while he was just feeling sorry for her?

On her way out she bumped into Maria. The way she was feeling, even the brunette's beauty failed to perk her up.

"Hi, Rae," Maria said with her usual smile.

How could anyone smile all the time? What the hell was she so happy about.

"Hi," she answered, then made to walk past her without another word.

"Are you alright?" Ria asked.

Rae grunted sarcastically. Was she alright? Her best friend had just informed her that no one would ever consider her for a serious relationship. Then the man she had decided to try it out with had more or less confirmed it.

"Yeah. Sure," she said.

"Aren't you staying for the show?"

"I'm feeling a bit tired. I'm just going to pack my stuff ready for when we check out tomorrow then turn in," Rae answered.

"Wanna grab something to eat or a drink instead? I don't have a match tonight," Maria said.

Rae frowned a bit. Why would Maria want to hang out with her? She hadn't exactly made any moves to be friendly or anything when they'd been out the night before.

"Why?" she asked bluntly.

"Well, you're one of the most important people in Randy's life, and he's my good friend. I just thought it would be nice to get to know each other," Maria answered.

Nice? What planet was she from? Hadn't she heard that anything to do with her was anything but nice?

"I don't know," she started.

"Come on, it'll be fun," the brunette said before she could protest, then linked her arm in hers to walk out with her.

Once she was settled in a chair at a bar not far from the arena, Rae felt like she'd just been bulldozed. Obviously Maria was more than a pretty face. She probably had to be firm to put up with all the other wrestlers, especially the men.

"Here you are," Maria said as she set a drink in front of her and took her seat. "Drink up."

She did as she was told. Truth be told, she'd been dying to drown herself in alcohol so she could numb herself and not face what she was going through. She'd planned to do it at the hotel, in front of the tv.

"So, are you going to tell me why I'm really here?" Rae asked.

"I don't know. You just looked like you needed cheering up." Maria answered.

"Do you make it a habit to cheer up every sour-faced person you meet?"

"Only the ones I like," the brunette smiled.

"You can't like me. You don't even know me."

"No, but Randy knows you and he loves you so that's all I need to know."

"Really?"

Where the fuck was this girl from?!

"Yes. Now, come on. Have another one." Maria said as she signalled the waiter. "I'm not going to ask you what's wrong, I'm not going to push you to talk. If you're anything like Randy you'll do that when you're good and ready. Just relax and enjoy your drink."

"You know a lot about Randy. Do you guys hang out a lot?" she asked.

She knew they had been friends for a few years now, but she had never been interested to know anything else. That was how self absorbed she'd been. When she visited Randy while he was on the road, it was always just the two of them and sometimes John just holed up in his hotel room.

"Yes," Maria answered.

"You guys slept together?" she asked bluntly.

"No!" Ria exclaimed. "Well, he tried in the beginning, but I wasn't ready for a relationship. So we decided we were better off as friends."

"If he was to come to you now, would you consider him for a serious relationship?"

"I don't know. I don't think so. He and I see life differently, it would never work."

"Because he's a man-whore?"

"Well, that, too."

"So if he came to you and said he had changed, you wouldn't believe him? You don't think people can't change?"

Maria frowned as she observed her.

"I know people can change," Maria said. "Fundamentally, we're all good people. It's the choices we make that change how people see us. If we intentionally make the wrong choices all the time, society says we are bad. If we try our best to make the right choices, they say we're good. So, no matter how many bad choices you've made in the past, the moment you start making the right choices people see you as a better person."

"And who the hell decides what's wrong and right?"

"Your conscious, I guess. The same thing that's telling you that you're bad right now, that you need to change. There is no clear line that says this is right or wrong, so many people fall at the sidelines. It's what you do to right the wrongs that counts."

"So you sitting there telling me you think I'm a bad person?" Rae frowned as she downed another shot of whiskey.

"No!_ You've_ told me you think you're a bad person. I'm not judging you, Rae. I'm no angel," Maria said.

"You could have fooled me," she muttered bitterly.

"Maybe I _should_ ask you what's eating you," Maria frowned.

Rae let out as sigh and ran a hand through her wild hair.

"It's nothing. I'm just frontin'," she said. "Randy just told me noone would ever take me seriously, that I'm only good for a good time."

"He said that? Why?"

"It's a long story."

That meant she didn't want to talk about it. The brunette got it and backed off.

"For the record, and at the risk of sounding cheesy, I think you can do anything you want to do. You're a strong woman, you don't take shit from anyone. If you want someone to take you seriously I'm sure you can make them," Ria smiled.

Rae looked at her for a minute and thought what a good head Maria had on her. She wasn't ditzy at all, the way Vince and his writers portrayed her.

"You're right. Just because I'm trying to change it doesn't mean I shouldn't grab what I want and run with it. Life is too short," she murmured. "Thanks Maria. I needed that."

"That's what friends are for," Ria smiled.

"So we're friends?"

"I've already told you. Any friend of Randy's and John's is a friend of mine. Plus I like you."

She smiled and lifted her drink in a toast to her new friend before taking a sip.

"Ok, so you promised me this would be fun. What do you have in mind?"

"I thought you'd never ask," Maria laughed.

* * *

When Randy and John returned to the hotel late that night, Rae was not in their room. She hadn't been picking up her phone either.

"Why the hell did you have to be so nasty, anyway? It's like you don't want her to change, like you'd rather have her floating from one meaningless tryst to another. That shit never ends well, there are so many diseases out there," John ranted as he tried her phone again.

"I didn't mean to," Randy sighed as he threw his bag on the floor. "It's just that she's trying so hard to be something she's not. I know that girl, know everything she's about. She's the other half of me. She lost her mum and thinks somehow she's being punished. Even if she does manage to find a relationship, how long do you think it will be until she's restless again?"

"Maybe she will fail, I don't know. But as her friend I'm going to stand by her while she tries," John said, finally giving up and throwing his phone onto his bed. "I'm not going to laugh at her if she gives in to temptation either. Maybe she'll end up in many beds before she finally finds what she's looking for. Maybe she'll realise she's better off as she is, I don't know. But I'm not going to make it any harder for her to find out."

Randy found a pack of cigarettes in his pocket, ignoring John's black look when he lit one. His friend was right, there was no harm in letting her try. She'd been searching for something for a while now and as her best friend he was supposed to help her. Maybe one day he'd also come to feel restless with his life and want to find something different. Rae was the only person who'd ever backed him up two hundred percent on everything he'd ever wanted to do. He had no doubt if he ever wanted something different, she'd back him up on that, too. Just because they'd made a deal when they where fucked out of their minds years ago, it didn't mean he had to hold her on it. If she wanted to settle down with someone other than him, it was her choice. It wasn't as if he was ready for it now, anyway.

"Where do you think she is? Still with Hardy?"

"I talked to him after the show. He hasn't seen her since earlier on, before the show. He seemed a bit worried about her?"

"Why? What happened?"

"You mean besides her best friend calling her a cheap whore? I don't know."

"I'm going to talk to him," Randy decided as he put his cigarette out and got up.

At the same time the door opened and Maria and Rae all but fell in. They were giggling like idiots and trying their best to hold each other up while they whispered something that he couldn't make out.

"Rae, where've you been? You weren't answering your phone," John said as he came forward and put his arms around both the girls to hold them up. "You smell like a brewery!"

"We had an accident with the man..." Maria giggled.

"What man?"

"He had this pipe...," Rae slurred.

"Huh?" John frowned as he put the girls down on his bed.

"Yeah, but it was too big," Maria added.

"What are you two going on about?" John asked.

"The man, the one with the pipe," Maria offered. "But it didn't fit in the hole."

"But the other one had a big barrel, though," Ria slurred.

"I ain't even going to ask what that means," John said.

The girls only giggled some more and continued whispering to each other while Rae tried to pull her boots off. She rolled of the bed with her effort and landed with a thud on the floor.

"I'll get her," Randy said when John made to help her.

He picked her up easily and placed her on his bed. She was still laughing, as was Maria. How the hell had they ended up together? And where had they been? He knew Rae's brand of fun wasn't to Ria's liking so he couldn't imagine what they'd been doing all night. Except getting pissed out of their minds.

"You!" Rae said when she finally noticed him.

She poked him in the chest with a finger.

"You are a very bad friend," she slurred.

"I know. We'll talk about it in the morning," Randy said as he took her boots off.

"We'll talk about it now. You are supposed to stand by me no matter what."

"I know. I'm sorry, Rae."

"So when I tell you I've found someone," she continued, as if she hadn't heard him, "you shouldn't laugh at him.. at me... what?"

"What?"

"Exactly! Maria says we are all people... we should do what people do..."

"What?"

"Boy, you better take your ass out of your ears when I'm talking to you... your ears out of your ass."

Randy chuckled as he started to unbutton the little dress she was wearing. Obviously his apology would have to wait until the morning.

"So Maria says I'm a strong woman."

"I've never doubted that for a minute."

"Don't argue with me!"

"Babes, I'm not arguing," Randy chuckled as he found one of his t-shirts and helped her into it.

"You are useless, you're not listening to a word I'm saying," Rae said as she slapped his hand away and sat up on the bed. "Maria. Tell him what you said, he doesn't believe you... me."

"She's a good person... everyone who doesn't think so can just suck..."

"Maria!" John cut in.

"A lemon," Maria finished.

"Suck a lemon?" Randy chuckled. "I think it's time for bed."

"I ain't sleeping with you!" Maria exclaimed.

"As much as I love taking advantage of drunk women, I think John would freak out," Randy said.

"Randy!"

"What? She won't remember a thing in the morning. You might as well practice and tell her how you feel."

"I'm not doing that."

"Well, do something. Take her shoes off and make her comfortable. I don't think she'd appreciate it if we took her clothes off, though."

"Who's taking their clothes off? Let me see," Rae called out from behind him.

"You get back on the bed. Get some sleep, we have a flight to catch in the morning."

"Where are you going?" Maria asked.

Both Randy and John laughed. They were only going to the same place she was going!

There was a knock at the door and Randy got up to answer it. It was Jeff.

"Hi," he said. "Is Rae here? I wanted to speak to her."

"You and I both! You'll have to wait for the morning, Hardy. She's a bit drunk right now."

"Who is it?" Rae called out. "Have you ordered a pizza? I'm starving."

Rae slid off the bed and walked to the door, dressed in only Randy's t-shirt.

"You!" she said for the second time that night. "You are a bad, bad person."

"I know. I came to apologise," Jeff said.

His eyes lingered a bit on her long, slender legs.

"You're just a big... pretender!"

Randy raised his eyebrows and chuckled.

"I'm sorry Rae, I shouldn't have..."

"You just walk around here and... pretend!" she slurred. "So you can just take your pizza and go."

"I didn't bring any pizza..."

"Oh, my God. Everyone just wants to argue with me," she snapped as she staggered back into the room and dropped herself onto the bed.

"What?" Jeff asked, a confused frown on his face.

"Like I said, it'll have to be the morning," Randy chuckled.

Jeff nodded and turned to leave.

"If you don't mind my asking, what happened between you two?"

Jeff turned back and gave him a little shrug.

"She reached out to me and I threw it back in her face. I shouldn't have."

"What do you mean? She came on to you?"

"No. She was looking for a friend."

"So she didn't flirt with you at all?"

"No. Tell her I'll see her tomorrow morning," Jeff said, then turned to leave.

Randy, still frowning, watched his retreating back. So Rae was really serious. From tomorrow, he'd make sure she understood that he'd stand by her. If she wanted to be with Jeff, she'd have his blessing.

"If this pizza doesn't get here soon I'll... buy another one," Rae called out.

"We haven't ordered any pizza," Randy said as he closed the door.


	12. Chapter 12

**I'm back! Thanks for the reviews guys. Let me know what you think about this one. Did anyone expect that so soon?**

* * *

Rae woke up with a splitting headache. She was thankful it wasn't from another attack because she didn't think she could have stood it.

"You awake baby?"

She smelt the coffee before she even opened her eyes. She knew straight away Randy was going to try some major sucking up.

"What do you want?" she snapped.

"I made you some coffee. I know how you don't function properly till you've had at least ten of these," Randy teased.

Translated, he was hoping to have her in a better mood before his apology. She wasn't in the mood for it right now. She was still too upset with him. She knew she would eventually forgive him, sooner rather than later as she didn't have time to waste, but she wanted to hold on to her anger a bit longer. Friends didn't say shit like that to each other, they didn't try to put each other down.

Rolling over and getting out of bed, she walked past him and his peace offering to go to the bathroom.

"Rae," Randy started.

"Not now, Randy," she snapped as she shut the door behind her.

* * *

"I'm surprised she didn't throw the coffee at you," Maria said from her spot on John's bed.

It wasn't the first time she'd crashed with these guys after a night out. She knew she could trust them. Normally she took Randy's bed while he had the couch but this morning she'd woke up in John's. After Randy's revelation the other night she'd got a bit self conscious around him, but John hadn't done or said anything to confirm this. She couldn't be sure if this was another of Randy's match-making tricks. Even now, while she lay in his bed, John was on the couch watching a film. He didn't even look like he was bothered that she was there.

"What did she tell you?" Randy asked.

"That you're a dick," Maria answered. "Honestly, Randy, how could you even say those words to her? She's your best friend."

"I don't need this from you as well, Ria. I know I fucked up. I didn't mean what I said."

"Then why did you say it? Half the night she kept mumbling how she couldn't fucking believe you'd do that to her." Maria said as she got off the bed.

"I'll talk to her when she's ready, I'll apologise."

"You better. I'm going to my room to shower and pack. Tell Rae I'll see her downstairs when you guys are ready to go. I'm catching a ride to the airport with you."

"John, Maria is going," Randy called out.

John turned from his film and smiled.

"Later," he said.

When she was gone, Randy walked up to him and smacked him up the head.

"Ow! What was that for?" John shouted as he rubbed the back of his head.

"Later? You had a hot chick on your bed all night and you just sat on that couch like a rock. She says she's going and all you can say is 'Later'?"

"What was I supposed to say?" John argued.

"Something! Don't bore the girl before you've even asked her out," Randy said. "Khali has more game than you!"

"I can't just go up to her and ask her out. What if she doesn't like me in that way? It'll just make things awkward when we hang out," John said.

"You won't know until you try. I tried it on with her and she's still my friend even though she shot me down. I wasn't even looking for a relationship, just one hot, sweaty night."

"When I'm ready, Randy," John said firmly. "Anyway, you've got other things to worry about than my sex life. I don't think a cup of coffee and one of you little smiles will work this time."

Randy looked at the closed door of the bathroom and sighed. He and Rae never really argued. When he upset her, or she upset him, they normally kissed and made up the next minute. The fact that she hadn't even wanted to talk to him told him he had a long way to go before she forgave him.

The door opened and Rae walked out wrapped in a little towel. She didn't even look at him.

"Maria gone already?" she asked John, blatantly ignoring him.

"She said she'll meet us downstairs when we're ready," John answered.

"Rae, talk to me," Randy said, sitting on his bed while she walked around it to get some fresh clothes out.

He had already packed for her. He'd thought it a good way to start on his apology.

"I'm sorry, Rae," he said when he got no response. "I was a dick last night. I was just..."

"I said not now," Rae cut in.

"Let me explain. Please. I can't stand you not talking to me."

"Listen. I said not now. Unless you want me to really go off and say some hurtful things of my own, just back off."

Randy bit his lip. This was obviously going to be a very long day.

His phone went off, preventing any further attempts at an apology.

"Jeff, what's up?" he answered.

He noticed the way she tensed a bit at the mention of the caller's name and it got him curious. What had happened between them yesterday?

"I don't mean to bother you, but is Rae up yet? I really need to talk to her."

"Yeah, she's up," he said. "Hang on."

He held the phone out to Rae. She just rolled her eyes and ignored it. Obviously, he wasn't the only one who needed to suck up to her today.

"Sorry Jeff, she's a bit busy right now."

"I'm not busy, I just don't want to speak to him," Rae snapped.

"She said..."

"Yeah, I heard," Jeff said. "Tell her she left something in my room yesterday. I was packing when I noticed it."

"You left something in his room," he repeated.

"Tell him he can stuff it up his ass!"

"She doesn't want it back," Randy told him.

"Tell her if she doesn't come and get it herself, I'll have to come up and give it to you."

"Why? Is it something I shouldn't know about?"

He saw Rae tense again.

"Just tell her, please."

"He said if you don't go get it, he'll give it to me," he repeated, feeling a bit like a parrot now.

With an irritated sigh, she grabbed the phone from him and put it to her ear.

"What is it, Hardy?" she asked.

"You left your painkillers."

"Give them to me at the airport."

"If you don't come and get them now, I swear I'll bring them up. What's it going to be, Rae?"

She frowned in irritation then noticed Randy was watching her, a frown also marring his features. Obviously Jeff had got him thinking. The last thing she wanted was for Randy to go poking his nose around Jeff and find out what Jeff had more or less hinted he wasn't supposed to know. She would have to sort Jeff out, make sure he kept his mouth shut.

"Give me a few minutes," she said through grit teeth, then hung up.

"What's that all about?" Randy asked.

"Did I not tell you in words you can understand? Back-the-fuck-off!" she snapped, glad that she had an excuse not to answer him.

She found the little dress and low heeled sandals she planned on wearing to the airport in the bag, ignoring him completely as she got herself dressed.

* * *

"Hey," Jeff said when he opened the door for her about ten minutes later.

"Hand them over, then," Rae said.

"Come in. They're in my drawer. I didn't want to leave them lying about in case Brian saw them," Jeff said as he stood aside for her to enter. "In case you didn't know, I don't really have a good track record with them."

She walked in, her arms crossed and a dark look on her face. He had to say, she looked absolutely gorgeous. He couldn't help himself as his eyes traveled down to her bottom, then over the smooth, long legs that the short dress she wore exposed.

"Hand them over," she said again, turning around to face him.

"Not until you let me explain," he said.

"There's nothing to explain. You said what you said and now I know where you stand. If you give me my shit back, you'll never have to talk to me again."

"No, you don't know where I stand. I'm going through a lot of shit, Rae. I know it's no excuse, but when you literally fell into my arms in the elevator I just freaked out. There's you with all these problems, and the drugs you're taking, I just... I couldn't handle it," Jeff said.

"Just give me my stuff, Jeff," Rae sighed. "You won't have to handle anything."

"Hear me out," Jeff begged. "I wasn't talking to you out of pity. I shouldn't have said that to you and I'm sorry."

"Would it be easier for you if I just accepted your apology? Would you just give me my stuff and let me get out of here?"

"Rae..."

"No, you listen to me. I don't have time to waste with this shit," Rae angrily cut in. "Yesterday, I thought you were a nice guy, I told you stuff that my best friend doesn't know. I trusted you and you basically told me to fuck off."

"I'm sorry."

"Sorry doesn't cut it. It's my fault, anyway. I shouldn't have told you anything at all but I thought we were on our way to becoming friends. I don't have time to deal with two faced jerks."

He ran a hand through his hair and turned away from her. How would he make her see how sorry he was? The words that had come out of his mouth were just that... words. When she'd started talking about all the things she would normally have been doing, he had just panicked. The last thing he wanted was to jump from one bad relationship to another. She hadn't come out and said it straight that she wanted him, but from what she had revealed, he knew she was looking for a relationship. Or at least, she was trying. She'd said she wanted someone to make her feel special.

She wasn't his type, he was right about that. Yes she was gorgeous, yes she was sexy and yes he'd imagined fucking her, just as every hot blooded male who'd met her probably imagined. He was only human. But this was just an experiment to her. If he got with her, he would inevitably get all these unwanted feelings and then what? She would get bored and move on to the next experiment. Or she'd see what was right in front of her and end up with Randy. He'd be heartbroken all over again. It would be Beth all over again. He didn't want that. So he'd had to tell her that he was only there out of pity. It was mean of him, he knew that, but his first instinct had been to protect himself.

"Rae," he started again. "I wasn't pretending. I did mean it when I said you could talk to me anytime and I do want us to become friends."

"Jeff, please," Rae sighed. "You don't have to do this. I understand where you're coming from. A girl passed out in your arms, told you she was dying and you felt sorry for her. Anyone would have done the same thing."

"Rae, you're not listening to me. I didn't talk to you out of pity," he snapped.

"Oh, so now you're snapping at me? Just give me the pills."

"No! What I'm trying to say is, I could have just sent you on your way after you came to and not bothered about it. We weren't friends. Even with you telling me what you did, I could have just let you go."

"Well, thanks! Tell you what," she said as she walked to the door. "Keep the damn pills. I've got more. I just came up here to tell you to keep your mouth shut."

He pushed the door closed before she could fully open it and let his arm rest on it. He wasn't explaining himself well. It was a complicated situation, surely she could see that. He probably should have just let her go but something in him wouldn't let him. When she turned round, her eyes were spitting fire at him and he thought again how hot she looked when she was angry. He also realised she was trapped between the door and his body.

"Open the door, right now," she spat out.

God, she was hot! His body was reacting to her closeness, reacting in a way it hadn't since he had left Beth.

"I lied to you," he said, deciding to go with the truth.

"What?"

"When I implied I wouldn't jump you the second you started flirting with me," he whispered as he moved his body even closer to hers.

"I'm not flirting with you," Rae pointed out.

"I know."

Her hair smelt gorgeous, he couldn't resist burying his face in it. He would regret this, he knew, but for now it all felt right. He knew all about her, knew she would probably crush his already broken heart and feed it to the dogs. This was so wrong on so many levels and the loser would only be him.

"Jeff..."

"Shh shh," he whispered, placing a finger on her lips.

He knew what she'd been about to say. She couldn't do this, she was trying to change. He didn't really want to hear that. His hand moved from her mouth and slowly trailed down to her breast. She had already given in, he could tell. Her body reacted to his simple touch like he had never seen before. He could say in all honesty, that made him hornier than he had ever been in his whole life.

Urgently, he took her mouth as his hand reached under her short dress and ripped her little thongs off. She had awakened an animal inside him without even trying, and the beast needed satisfaction. There was no time for preliminaries. When his fingers easily slid into her, he let out a hungry groan. She was already so wet...

In seconds he had undone his belt buckle and zip. There was no time to take anything off. Later on, when he had enjoyed her, he would probably get pissed off with himself for doing the very thing he had said he wouldn't do. But for now he'd take what he was being offered. He pushed the thoughts of her with all those other guys over the weekend completely out of his mind. There was no room on his bed for them as well. It would plague him afterwards how he had given in to his desires so easily but his need was bigger than him. He had to have her. Even if it turned out to be for just one time.

The first hard thrust released a loud cry from him and all thoughts ceased to exist. There, against the door with her long legs wrapped tightly around him, he saw heaven. He had never known anything more beautiful.


	13. Chapter 13

**Like I said, the storylines have been changed. Batista is already on Raw. I keep watching No Mercy on the repeats on Sky Box Office and I can just imagine Jeff doing what he did. To tell you the truth, I think I have a bit of a crush on him now. lol. And did you see Dave's body? Can someone say 'amen'! Sculptured to perfection. Don't even get me started on Randy... So I'll go now before I embarrass myself any more. Read and review, please.**

Rae sat next to Maria and John at the terminal as they waited for their flight. Randy had gone off to sort her a seat on their plane as another way to suck up. She hadn't said a word to him since returning from Jeff's room. She had gone straight to have another shower and to change and the looks she had shot Randy and John had defied them to ask questions. She was in no mood to talk.

She still couldn't believe that Hardy had fucked her. Over and over again, actually. And he'd been amazing. She hadn't expected that at all. From the first earth-shattering orgasm against the door, Jeff had promptly moved her over to the table where he'd bent her over and quickly brought on yet another orgasm with his long, hard strokes.Then somehow they had ended up out on the balcony, naked in the light of the morning with the view of Orlando stretching ahead of them. He'd taken her over the railings of the balcony, gripping her butt to sink himself deeper into her while she'd quivered in his arms. Noone had ever done her so... thoroughly... before. And she was certain a few people had heard her screams, seen Jeff urgently nailing her in plain view of whoever wanted to watch the show. It had been just the sort of crazy thing the old Rae would have done. Eventually, he'd carried her to his bed. She'd been surprised he still had the strength to do that as her own legs had gone completely useless. On the bed, he had made love to her. Slow, sweet and tender. He had made her feel like the most precious thing in the world, which was what she had been looking for in the first place. He had held her eyes the whole time and for the first time in her life, she felt like she had made a connection on a more deeper level. Jeff had touched something in her that she had not even known existed. It had scared her.

Before she'd gone to his room she had already decided to find someone else, the whole morning had just confused her. She had not come on to him at all, which was an amazing feat in itself so his reaction had been a complete surprise. Her first reaction hadn't surprised her at all. She had gone a full 24 hours without sex, her body had almost been in withdrawal. One single touch had lit her up like a Christmas tree. The sparks, when his body had brushed against her, had been all-consuming. She'd stood no chance whatsoever of declining what her body craved for. It was when he'd gently placed her on the bed and done whatever voodoo that he'd done that she'd freaked out.

After that shattering explosion, when they'd been fighting to catch their breaths, he had been about to say something but Kendrick had walked in and she'd seen her chance to escape. She had just pulled her dress on, found her shoes and left. Of course, Brian had stood there like an idiot the whole time and watched her dress while Jeff had begged her not to go, to let him explain. He'd probably been about to pull the 'we can still be friends' speech that she had used a million times in the past. She'd been too freaked to listen.

This whole thing was confusing her. She had never had sex like that. Yes, she liked to connect, that was what always ensured the sex was always off the charts. She let her senses take over her, let her mind, body and soul connect, but Jeff had taken that connection to a whole new level. She had started getting these... feelings. She had no idea what they were or where they'd come from, she'd never felt anything for anyone before except lust. She didn't know what to do. Plus, where did he get off telling her she wasn't his type one minute then jumping her bones the next? Why did people say one thing when they meant another? Had he been trying to sleep with her all along? And the big question was, would she be able to stand him now that she'd had him? Even though she had experienced something different, made a connection with someone, would she want to do it again with him? She'd never gone back for seconds before, no matter how good the first time was.

So now she had no idea what to do. Should she seek Hardy out and find out what the hell was going on, or should she run in the opposite direction and find someone totally different so she could control the whole situation until the time came for her to leave?

The light was blinding her, even with her big sunglasses and she still had a splitting headache. Maria looked as pitiful as she did sitting next to her. She also wore sun glasses to protect her eyes and she looked sickly.

"So are you going to tell me about this man with the big pipe?" John asked.

"What man?" Rae frowned.

John chuckled.

"He had something that couldn't fit in the hole."

Both ladies looked at him as if he was losing his mind.

"What the hell did you two do last night?" John laughed.

"We had a drink then came back to the hotel," Maria said.

"You don't remember, do you?" John guessed.

"Not a damn thing," Maria answered.

Jeff chose that moment to walk to them, his hands in the pockets of his baggy jeans, the hood of his top pulled low over his eyes so people could only see his the tip of his nose and his mouth. She'd noticed him the second he had arrived and had known he'd been watching her, the little headphones of his ipod in his ears as always. She hadn't expected him to approach her, though, at least not with all the Raw roster watching him.

"Can we talk?" he asked when he finally stood in front of her. "In private?"

"Not now, Jeff."

She couldn't make any decisions, not in her frame of mind.

"I could just as easily sit right here next to you and say what I have to say in front of John and Maria."

"Are you always such a dick?" she snapped, referring to the fact that this was the second time he's threatened to reveal her business that morning.

"If it's the only way I can get you to listen to me."

"You have one minute," she said through grit teeth as she stood up and walked away from John and Maria.

Jeff lowered his hood and followed her to a spot away from the other wrestlers.

"Rae... what happened this morning wasn't me. I've never slept with a girl I hardly know," Jeff started.

Was he trying to brush her off? Did he think that, just because she'd revealed that she was looking for a relationship she'd try and get her hooks into him, now that he'd slept with her?

"And now you regret it, yadi yada," Rae cut in. "It's alright, Jeff. What's done is done. You don't have to keep apologizing to me."

"Will you let me speak? I don't regret it at all. It was incredible. I've never had such a connection with anyone, not from the get go. I just wanted to find out where you stand on all this," he said. "You left in such a hurry, I didn't know what to think."

"What?"

What did he mean he never had such a connection from the get go. Did that shit happen all the time for him?

"I know this is all crazy, Rae. We only met yesterday and quite by coincidence as well. I know you'd never have spoken to me otherwise and then this morning would never have happened. I'm really messed up and probably the last thing you need right now but this morning you came into my room looking seriously hot, I couldn't help myself. I forgot all the reasons why I'd told myself I couldn't touch you."

"What are you saying?" she asked, looking deep into his eyes.

"I'm saying, if you'll let me, I want to get to know you and for you to know me," Jeff replied. "I want to be the one to make you feel special."

She looked into his eyes a minute longer and saw the sincerity in them. This is what she'd wanted, wasn't it? To live out her last few weeks with one man who would show her what her life could have been like.

"I don't know. I can't think right now. I don't think you've really thought this through, either. I'll probably end up fucking you over or something."

She had no idea where that came from. Why was she even questioning the gift that had been placed at her feet? And when had she ever considered anyone else's feelings?

"We'll worry about that if it happens. Just give me a chance. I've been mopping around nursing a broken heart and broken dreams for three months now, then this morning you made me see that there's something else out there, it was like I suddenly started living again and my chains were broken. I haven't felt like this in a long time. I'm not ready to let you go just yet," he said. "Just think about it, okay? I'm not putting any pressure on you."

She nodded her head in agreement even though she knew she'd say yes. He was different and trying to unravel all the complexities that made him who he was would keep her interested. How did someone make love like that? Did it not scare him? It was like he had looked into her very soul and found only beauty in it, beauty that he had nurtured with every sensual thrust until it had exploded all around her and washed over her.

Before she knew what was happening, he pulled her into his arms and gave her a tender kiss, right there in front of everyone. She had never been kissed like that before. All her kisses were urgent, hungry ones that led to sex. Hardy's kiss made her feel... special, and it confirmed it for her again that she had picked the right guy.

"Just to make sure you _do_ think about me," he whispered with a little smile before walking away.

* * *

Randy stopped in his tracks when he saw Hardy pull Rae into a kiss. He didn't know what had happened between them the previous night but he knew that morning Hardy had fucked the shit out of her! He could always tell when Rae had been indulgent. Somehow, he had thought that would be the end of Hardy. The last thing he'd expected was this kiss.

When Hardy pulled away, he noticed the goofy little smile that played on Rae's lips. That was when it really hit home. She was serious. She really wanted someone other than him to cuddle at night. She really wanted to make room in her life for someone other than him. He knew it sounded crazy, but he had never imagined he would actually have to give her up to someone else.

Not that she was his to give. They were just friends, he could never give her what she was obviously looking for. It was just that she was his person. He had thought she wouldn't buy into all this love bullshit. The deal they had made had been her idea, after all. She had told him that theirs would be a relationship based on mutual respect and thirty years of shared secrets. She had told him they had a bond which could never be broken. Well, there went their five babies and the big six bedroomed house with a swimming pool and room for a few ponies.

He couldn't understand any of it. He didn't see anything wrong with the way she lived now. What was wrong with taking what you wanted when you wanted it? She was only young, she was supposed to live dangerously! Then when thirty came, all of it would be behind her and she'd be ready to give her all to raising a family. She was doing this five years too soon. They were supposed to do it together.

But he was nowhere near ready to settle down so obviously he had to let her go. Her happiness came first, after all. So sure, her being in a relationship would throw up so many boundaries, but he'd cross those bridges when he got to them. She was his best friend, he would stand by her no matter what. If only he could be sure that she wouldn't drift away from him while she chased down this mythical love. He couldn't imagine not having her in his life.

"It hurts, doesn't it?"

He turned his head to see Mickie standing next to him.

"What?" he frowned in irritation.

"Watching someone you're in love with make out with someone else." Mickie smirked.

"Don't talk stupidness!" Randy snapped.

"I've watched you two over the weekend. You're in love with her, your face says it all," Mickie laughed. "How did you feel when she was whoring with half the roster? Did you look at them like you're looking at Jeff?"

"You don't know shit, Mickie. I'm no more in love with her than I'm in love with you! I do love her though, which is more than I can say about you," Randy snapped. "I wouldn't even piss on you if you were on fire!"

With that he walked towards Rae, a cup of coffee in his hand. Love? The Great Legend Killer didn't do love.

* * *

"Do you think he realizes he's in love with her?" Maria asked.

They had been watching Jeff and Rae's little exchange when their attention had been drawn to Randy. He'd looked like his best friend had just died.

"No," John answered. "If you tell him he'll just bite your head off, though. Rae doesn't either. I tried smacking their heads together about it once but they laughed at me like I'd just told the funniest joke ever."

"That's a shame. I think Randy is the best person to help her find what she's looking for," Maria stated. "Noone knows her better and they've practically been married their whole lives. It's a no brainer."

"They don't see it that way. The sad part about it is that I think they'll realise it when it's too late."

"What do you mean?"

"It will take one of them actually falling in love with someone else before the other realizes how they feel," John explained."It's like a doomed love story."

"I don't think so," Maria argued. "I think the reason they fly from one meaningless night to another is because they are destined to be together. They can't fall in love with anyone else when they already love each other."

"Of course they can. Everyone has that one true love and then they have the love of their life. Randy is Rae's true love, but if he doesn't wake up she'll end up with the love of her life."

"That doesn't make sense. That's the same thing, true love and the love of your life."

"No it isn't. Some of us never meet our true loves, you know the one you always imagined with all the traits you've always dreamed about, the one who's one hundred percent perfect. We meet someone else who has most of the things we're looking for and some we hadn't even imagined, but they aren't our one hundred percent and we settle for them. We might not think we're settling, but we are."

"That's rubbish. Noone is perfect."

"That's true, but someone who truly loves you will never see you faults. You're like superman, you're perfect," John mused. "Randy thinks Rae is perfect and she completely adores him. But I think she will fall in love with someone else."

"I've never looked at it like that. It makes a bit of sense, I suppose. When did you become such an expert?" she teased.

John looked at the brunette and gave her a shy little smile.

"I don't know. I watch people, I guess."

He cleared his throat a bit and said, "So... have you ever been in love?"

"I thought I was in love once, you know heart beating fast, struggling to breath and all that. Turned out it was just indigestion! The man turned out to be such a prick," Maria said. "How about you? I know Randy teases you about it a lot."

"I don't fall in love with them," he argued. "I guess it's just the romantic in me that so wants to believe there's someone out there for everyone, so I keep trying."

"Even when you get burned?"

"Even then," he answered. Then he cleared his throat again. "Would you like to go for a drink or a meal when we land? No, wait... you're probably tired...maybe we could just watch a movie... if you want to. Unless you just want to sleep... not with me, with yourself... I mean in your room, just you... not with me... you know, coz you're tired..."

Maria chuckled and put a hand on his arm to stop him.

"I'd love to go for a meal with you when we land," she smiled.

* * *

"I bought you some coffee. It's the horrible machine stuff but I thought you needed it."

The goofy smile left her face to be replaced by the cold look he'd been given all morning. Then she just turned from him and walked back to her seat.

As he watched her, he realised it had already started. She was drifting away from him. She'd never let words come between them before, not like this. True, he'd never said the words he had said to her before. He didn't know where they'd come from. Any man would be lucky to have her in his life, he'd always thought that. He knew about a million men who'd love to have her permanently in their lives and their beds.

With a sigh, he followed her to take a seat right next to her. He'd have to corner her on the flight, she'd have nowhere to run then and she'd be forced to listen to him. Jeff had been lucky, he had sex to help him win his case. All he had was lousy coffee.

* * *

I'm telling you Dave, she was with him all morning," Brian told the man he was sitting next to. "And you saw them together last night at the show, didn't you?"

Dave pretended to leaf through a magazine. He was still seething from the little show Jeff and Rae had put on and now Kendrick had just revealed something bigger. How could she sleep with him then kiss him up after like they were some sort of couple? She'd told him she didn't do shit like that, that when it was over, it was over.

"When I went into the room, it was like I was invisible. She got out of Jeff's bed completely naked to find her clothes. And I'm pretty sure she wasn't wearing any underwear when she walked out of that door!"

"So she just walked out, no kisses no cuddles?" Dave asked.

"No. Jeff kept shouting for her to let him explain something but she walked out without a word."

A little smile formed on his lips as he buried his face in the magazine again. Obviously things weren't as cosy as they seemed. He didn't want to think that she'd just sleep with him and not give him a chance then the very next minute she's in a relationship. It galled him that she'd slept with Hardy, of course, but obviously, that was what it was. It was like she'd said, she didn't do relationships. So he'd work on her until she decided he was worth another chance.

He'd come to that decision the night before when he'd been struggling to sleep. Rae had only occupied his bed for a few hours but that had been enough to ensure she would haunt it forever. Even though they were in different cities night after night, in different beds, he was sure images of her would follow him wherever he went. He couldn't explain it. Making love to her had been liberating. He had thought, as old as he was, he knew it all, but Rae had shown him some things, taken him to places he never knew existed. He had never experienced that before, not even with his ex-wife. So he had decided he would pursue her until she lay in his bed again.

He wasn't prepared to let her go.


	14. Chapter 14

**I had to move Randy's birthday, so all you die-hard fans, don't get too caught up in the facts! I was just rambling a bit here, but I think I'll give you a bit of a spoiler for what's coming. Besides Randy (and Jeff!), who do you think is the best person to show Rae a bit of love? Hmmm... Thank you Orton Addict, I know I can always count on you for your honest reviews. And I'm working on an update for Broken just for you. Read and review, please, you know the deal everyone. Even if you think it's boring, I'd rather know. Thanks.**

* * *

"I was jealous."

She had been taking one final look at the city, knowing she would never set foot in it again. She hadn't heard what Randy had said.

"What?"

"I said I was jealous. I still am, actually."

Randy was looking down into his orange juice like it contained something too interesting to look away from.

"Jealous? Why would you be jealous?" she frowned.

Randy let out a sigh and put his drink down.

"I've always been able to depend on you, you're my biggest fan. I wouldn't have accomplished most of the things I have if it hadn't been for my little cheerleader," he answered, still not looking at her. "When you do find what you're looking for, you're going to be cheering for someone else and I'm selfish enough to not want that. I wanted to keep you to myself. You've been mine since you were one. I can't handle the thought of letting you go."

"Randy..."

"Let me finish," he cut in. "I know that's childish, but that's how I feel. I don't want to call you at three in the morning and have some guy tell me to call back in the morning because you're asleep. I don't want to have to watch if the way I touch you is appropriate. I don't want things to change. But I love you and I'm going to stand by you. There should never have been any question on that. I've been standing by you your whole life. I'm sorry I said what I said. I just didn't know how to handle it. Any guy you choose would be lucky to have you in his life."

"Randy, I know things _will_ probably change, but you're always going to be the most important person in my life," she said as she took his hand in hers. "I'm not going to let some guy come between us."

"You say that now, but when you do fall in love you're going to think the sun shine's out of this guy's ass. He's going to be the most important person to you and I'll be just Randy, the guy you grew up with," Randy said, finally looking at her. "I've made my peace with it. I'll be happy with whatever makes you happy. Just don't forget all about me, okay?"

He was the biggest reason she was there but she couldn't tell him. Sure, she was looking for a little taste of what she could have had, but no man would ever come close to taking Randy's place in her heart. He was too important to her. He was the only person in the whole world who knew every single detail of her life, all her fears, her secrets, her strengths and her weaknesses, her joys and heartaches. No matter what they said about love, she didn't think anyone could ever become that important to her that she would forget what Randy meant to her.

"I'll never forget about you, Randy," she whispered, lifting her palm to his face. "You mean everything to me. Whatever happens from here on out, just remember that."

She meant that in a completely different light. Once she was gone, he would realise the true meaning of her words.

Randy took her hand and kissed her palm.

"I really am sorry. I can't stand you not talking to me," he said. "Well, you spoke to me last night but I don't think that counts."

"I can't remember anything past my first drink."

"I didn't think you would. For someone who likes their drink, you're a pathetic lightweight!" Randy chuckled.

"I didn't take all my clothes off in public again, did I?"

"You say that like you wouldn't have enjoyed it if you had," Randy laughed.

"That was the old Rae. The new one won't be taking her clothes off for anyone but Jeff."

"You walk around the hotel room in nothing but your underwear! I'm sure that counts as taking your clothes off."

"Yeah, but you and John don't count."

"Thanks!" Randy said with mock sarcasm.

"You know what I mean."

"I do," Randy smiled. "So I saw you with Jeff earlier. You two sorted your issues out?"

"More or less," she replied, thinking about her wild morning. "I have to give him an answer soon."

"If he ever treats you bad, you know you can tell me, don't you?"

"I know," she smiled. "You always have my back."

* * *

When they checked into their room in Albany, Randy and John had to head straight out as they had an appearance somewhere in town before the house show. She had hardly spent time with them since she had arrived; quality time, that was. Pulling in a noisy club or following them around in an arena didn't really count. Now that she'd settled on her 'someone' she should really make time to spend with Randy. The last thing she wanted was for him to feel like he wasn't important to her anymore. She didn't have much time left.

She was lying on the bed, thinking about the events of the past few days and how she'd made quite a bit of progress, connecting with Mark and Jeff. She'd expected it to take her at least two weeks, then a couple of weeks after that, she'd be jetting off. So now she'd bought herself an extra week of playing princess.

With a weary sigh, she reached into her bag and pulled out her list. The dreaded bucket list. It only had about 96 things on it. Somehow she'd thought by the time it really mattered it would have a few hundred things on it, maybe even thousands since she'd always thrived on living in the fast lane. She hadn't sat down and wrote all 96 things down at once, she'd just added them on as she went along. Then after her little trip to Columbia, when she had finally surfaced from her drug induced haze, she had added the last, most important three.

Randy would be so cut up when she finally had to go. It had always been just the two of them against the world, doing whatever the hell they wanted. Everyone had known that wherever she went, Randy was always somewhere nearby. Until their careers had taken off, they had been joined at the hip. Her heart was already breaking at the thought of leaving him behind, she could only imagine how he would feel, living with the pain of his loss for the rest of his life.

Her phone rang, breaking into her morbid thoughts and she was pleasantly surprised to see Mark's name on the caller ID.

"Hey, Mark," she answered.

This was the first time in their ten year relationship that they had spoken on the phone.

"Hi, Rachael. How's it going?"

She looked down at her list, thankful he couldn't actually see her.

"Alright. How are you?"

"A bit tired, actually. I'm going to have a break soon, though, in about two months and I thought I'd go on vacation somewhere. Maybe you can come with me. It will be a good way to bond."

She didn't have two months. Her heart cracked again as she thought how much she would have loved to spend some time with him. It was her fault she was in this position. If she hadn't been such a stubborn cow and wasted all those years...

"I... I'd love that," she said with fake excitement.

"Good. Why don't you come visit me this weekend? We could make plans. Sara's dying to get to know you."

She almost laughed at his choice of words.

"Sure, but not the weekend," she answered. "We were going to go home on Thursday but I can catch a flight to Austin tomorrow then fly home Friday."

"That would be great, Rae. Just let me know when I should pick you up at the airport," he said. "So are you planning a party or something? I know what you young ones are like."

She knew what he was referring to. Her twenty-sixth birthday. On Saturday, she reached that milestone and for once in her life she wasn't throwing a party. Well, in her case, they usually turned out to be wild orgies. Some years, the festivities had been known to last a week, then it would be Randy's birthday and they'd start the party all over again. Of course, now it depended heavily on their schedules. With Randy as the WWE Champion, he couldn't take time off whenever he pleased.

"No. I'll just force Randy to take me out for a meal or something. I don't feel like partying."

"That's a first! Are you feeling alright?" Mark chuckled.

"I just think it's time I slowed down a bit, took time to enjoy what I have around me," she said. "Besides, a week from Saturday, Randy will probably make up for that."

He'd be turning twenty-eight. It would be the last birthday she would celebrate with him.

"I've got to go now, Rachael. We have a show soon, I need to go and warm up."

"Alright. I'll give you a call when I've made arrangements. Take care, Mark."

When she hung up, she threw her phone across the bed and buried her face in her pillows. Why was life so fucking unfair?

* * *

Rae had thought a dip in the pool would clear her head up a bit. Actually, she had thought a good fuck would do the trick, but Jeff had spent a good part of the morning doing that, she didn't want to knock on his door for another session. She'd just seem insatiable and maybe that would scare poor Jeff off!

The last thing she had expected was to walk out and find the pool swarming with wrestlers. So many almost naked bodies, dripping wet and glistening in the hot afternoon sun, rubbing sun screen on their tanned limbs, lying in the loungers just soaking the sun up; a few bikini tops untied as some divas worked on their backs, so much temptation in one place. They all looked ripe and ready to be plucked!

Her first instinct was to run. If she was going to make it work with Jeff she couldn't mess it up before it had even started. But as she turned to head back she saw Dave by the door, just looking at her like something he wanted to eat. Obviously, he hadn't got the message when she'd told him he'd just been a good fuck, nothing more. She wasn't in the mood to deal with him so she turned back and surveyed the scene, looking for an empty spot to sit and hoping he would take the hint and leave her alone.

She found a lounger next to a diva and it wasn't until she'd put her bag and towel down that she noticed it was Mickie. Randy had told her all about her, how she'd thrown herself at him and he'd only been more than too happy to take what he wanted. Big, stylish glasses covered her eyes but Rae knew her eyes were trained on her.

With a little smile, she slowly unbuttoned her shirt then let it fall to reveal her skimpy bikini. She knew she looked hot. The white material set off her tan and left absolutely nothing to the imagination.

"Like what you see, Mickie?" she asked as she lowed herself onto the lounger.

"Get over yourself!" the woman snapped. "I'm not like that."

"You sure? I can treat you a lot better than Randy did. Who better to understand what you need than a woman?" she teased sensually, grabbing her sun screen then sensually rubbing it on her toned stomach.

She could feel the woman's eyes following her slow movements.

"What do you say, Mickie? You... me... a hot tub?"

The woman swore as she stood and picked her things up.

"You're sick. No wonder you and Orton get along!"

She chuckled as she watched her walk away then made herself comfortable. As if she'd ever be interested in her!

Almost straight away, someone took the seat Mickie had just vacated. She let out an audible groan when she noticed it was Dave.

"Hey," he said.

"Hi."

She kept her eyes trained on the few people in the pool.

"Look, I know you don't want to talk to me but I though, since we're going to be bumping into each all the time we could at least be civil," he said.

"That would be alright if I didn't know what you were really after," she answered.

"I'm not going to deny I'm attracted to you," Dave said. "But I'm going to respect what you said. I'm just looking to be friends."

She didn't believe him at all. He wasn't the first man to think if they somehow became friends she would sleep with him again.

"Dave, just let it go. What happened the other day will never happen again."

Dave lay back and let out a sigh.

"I've done this a thousand times," he muttered. "I don't know why you've got under my skin so much, Rae. I'm old enough to know what happened was just a one time thing but I just can't forget it."

"You're going to have to, Dave."

He was probably a good man, but she wasn't looking to find out. He'd just been one of the many casualties she'd had to leave behind to get where she was.

"I know."

She sat there for another minute, contemplating returning to her room before she'd even had a dip in the pool. The last thing she wanted was to have Dave's eyes on her body the whole time, it was making her uncomfortable.

Her mind was made up for her when a certain rainbow haired warrior came out to the poolside, dressed in a pair of shorts and a towel hanging over his shoulder. His eyes looked around at everyone until they met hers, then a slow smile formed on his lips. Obviously, she wasn't going anywhere.

He made his way to her and her eyes took every detail of him in; his tats, the way he sauntered over, his gorgeous torso. She wondered how long she'd have to wait until she sampled his goods again. This time, she wouldn't be taken by surprise. She'd do to him what she had been imagining since she had decided on him to fulfil her dying wish.

"Hi," he smiled when he finally stood in front of her.

"Hey, handsome," she replied with a smile of her own, her eyes slowly travelling down his body.

She had to admit, she quite liked this feeling. He seemed more irresistible now after their morning together. That had never happened to her before.

"Have you thought about what I said?" he asked.

"Oh, yeah," she breathed.

His kiss had guaranteed she thought about nothing else.

He dropped his towel on the ground next to her lounger and held his hand for her in a silent invitation. With a little coy smile, she took it and let him help her up, then felt the searing heat of his gaze as he took the same liberty she had and allowed his eyes to eat up every inch of her scantily clad body.

"What are you doing tonight?" he asked, his eyes finally meeting hers.

She felt like she was drowning in them. It had been so long since just a look had got her so horny...

"Nothing. Why?"

"I thought maybe we could order in and talk," he replied. "You can tell me what you've decided."

Like it wasn't obvious!

"Talk?" she asked.

Talking was the last thing on her mind, unless it was to scream for him to go harder and faster!

"Yes. Just talk," he smiled.

She hoped to God he was only joking. Her eye lids lowered and she licked her lip with the tip of her tongue as she remembered the morning. It had scared her at first but now her body was craving it, craving the connection it had found with him. He needed to be joking because she didn't think she could go a whole night without ripping his clothes off.

"Alright," she said, deciding to hand over the reins.

She knew nothing about relationships. If Jeff thought the best way to get this thing off the ground was to spend the night talking then she would just have to trust him. But it would be so hard...

"I promise you won't regret that," he said, bringing her hand up to his lips.

The contact sent a jolt of electricity through her body. No, she didn't think she'd regret it either.

"What are you doing to me, Jeff?" she whispered, her eyes on the lips that were still brushing against the palm of her hand.

Jeff only smiled and gently pulled her against his hard body.

"Hitting the ground running," he answered before placing a gentle kiss on her lips.

When he released her she could have sworn the earth was moving. What the hell was going on?

"I'm going to do a few laps. Are you coming to join me?" he asked.

"I think I'll just sit down here," she said a bit shakily.

* * *

In his seat, totally forgotten, Dave had witnessed it all. It had dawned on him that Jeff was more than just a one night stand and a sick feeling had formed at the pit of his stomach. He'd seen the way she had reacted to him, how everything and everyone had faded into the background. He'd felt the sexual tension, it had been that thick he could have cut it with a knife.

Even now, as Jeff cut through the water in powerful strokes, he saw the way she looked at him. When Jeff eventually pulled himself out of the pool, he could almost see how her mind was working. It wasn't hard really because her eyes followed every single drop of water as they rolled off Jeff's body. When he picked his towel up, her eyes followed his movements as he dried himself. It made Dave feel sick.

"I'll see you tonight," Jeff whispered in her ear, and then he dropped another kiss on her lips.

He knew feeling this anger was stupid. Just because she had told him she didn't do relationships, then picked Jeff of all people, shouldn't mean shit. You won some, you lost some, everybody knew that.

"I don't get it. What does Hardy have that I don't?" he asked finally, when Jeff had made his way back into the hotel.

"Honestly, Dave, I don't know," she answered as if still in a daze. "But I promise you I'll find out."


	15. Chapter 15

"So what will you talk about?"

Rae was sitting on John's bed, watching him dress for his date with Maria.

"I don't know. It's not like I make a list or anything like that," John said as he buttoned his shirt.

"You don't? What if your mind just goes blank? What if you can't think of anything to say?"

"If that's what's worrying you, stop. You always have something to say about everything!" Randy said as he flipped through the channels.

"I'm being serious, Randy. Jeff wants to talk and that's just freaking me out," she said as she got off John's bed to join Randy on the couch. "What if I say something that puts him off?"

"Trust me, if he's still around after all the freaky shit you did this past weekend, a few words won't do any damage!" John said as he put his wallet in his pocket.

"I heard Adam is bragging about it to anyone who'll listen on the Smackdown roster," Randy said.

"Kennedy as well, I think he's teasing Kendrick about it. He's being very graphic as well," John put in. "All I can say is, girl, I didn't know you could bend like that!"

"I keep telling you I'm talented! Anyway, that shit won't be happening again. I think I'm going to be busy with Jeff for a while."

"You think he's the one?" John asked.

"What one?"

John just laughed and dropped a kiss on her head.

"I've got to go. I'll see you guys later," he said.

When he was gone, she cuddled Randy and put her feet up on the table next to his.

"So what made you pick Jeff, anyway?" Randy asked.

"I don't know. He's different," she answered. "I wasn't sure about him until this morning, though."

"That good?"

"Better. It wasn't just sex, he showed me a whole lot more. I can't explain it, I've never known anything like that," she told him. "I'm looking forward to getting to know him better."

"Wow," Randy said.

"I know. Crazy, right? Who would have believed I'd ever say those words?"

"Don't let him hurt you, though, I'll beat his punk ass down if he does," he said. "Now, get going. Jeff will think you've stood him up."

"I was going to wait until your date showed up."

"It's not a date. Just sex," Randy corrected. "She won't be here for a while yet. You go, I'll tell you all about her tomorrow."

"Sure?"

"Go!"

"Okay, okay," she said as she gave him a little kiss and got up. "Don't wait up."

When she was gone, Randy opened another beer and settled on a documentary on the tv. He had no date that night, for some reason getting laid was the furthest thing on his mind. He was probably coming down with something. He thought of the hot ring rat he had blown off after the house show and how she hadn't turned him on at all. He'd never turned down sex in his life, not with anyone as hot as that girl had been. So his explanation was that he was overly tired and had caught a bit of a bug or something. He'd be himself again by the morning.

* * *

"Do you have anything to tell me?"

"Not that I can think of, no," Jeff said, knowing full well some big mouth had already told Matt about him and Rae.

"So, I was just chilling in the bar downstairs with Adam and a few other guys, and he was telling us for about the hundredth time how he did that hot chick when someone just happened to mention how my little brother had done the same little screamer on a balcony just this morning."

Jeff moved his phone to the other ear as he lit the last candle.

"What? You're looking for detailed descriptions?"

"No! The last time I saw that girl was when she fell in a heap at your feet, right after she swallowed a bunch of painkillers. What are you trying to do, Jeffrey? You can't get involved with any of that shit."

"Matt, you've been trying to get me laid for the past three months! Surely you should be happy for me."

"She's not what you need right now."

"She's exactly what I need," he said, connecting his ipod to some speakers then choosing a nice slow song to set the mood. "I have to go, she'll be here in a minute."

"You're actually seeing her? Oh, my God, Jeff! What is this, some rebound thing? Why couldn't you pick some decent girl, one who won't go sleeping with the next man who pays her a bit of attention?"

"This is different, Matt. I know what I'm doing."

"How is it different? All I heard this weekend was how she did this guy then went on to do that guy. You're not like that, Jeff. You can't keep your heart out of the bedroom."

"I don't want to keep my heart out of the bedroom. She's... special."

"Oh, yes, she's special, alright! She'll rip your heart to shreds."

"Matt, if you've got nothing good to say, don't say anything at all," he said. "I've made up my mind. Rae will be good for me, I just hope I'll be good for her."

"Jeff..."

"No, I'm done talking. I'll call you tomorrow or something," he said just as he heard a knock on the door. "She's here. Later, Matt."

He looked around the room and let out a calming breath. He'd been freaking out all day; he didn't want a single thing going wrong so she'd find an excuse not to be with him. She'd awoke something in him that he had thought had died with Beth and he wanted to see where it would all lead. He knew it was going to end in heartache, anyway; she would either beat the cancer and end up with Randy or she wouldn't beat it. He wasn't stupid; he knew one day Rae would open her eyes and see what was right in front of her. He wouldn't hold it against her if it happened sooner rather than later. She had a big battle ahead of her, and the moment she told Randy about it, he would realise how he really felt about her. Then Rae would find what she really needed. There was no way she would ever consider someone like him for something serious, he knew that. He was only with her by accident, after all. She would never have looked at him twice, otherwise. But while he had her, he'd do his damned best to make sure she would always remember him.

When he opened the door, he had to take a minute to take all of her in. How could anyone be so perfect? Everything in her was beautiful and proportional, every artist's dream. He'd sketch her before the night was out, immortalise her on a piece of paper. Then he'd always have a piece of her beauty. She was dressed casually in jeans, a t-shirt and a pair of sneakers but she could have been wearing a sack and still looked good.

"Hey," Jeff smiled, giving her a little kiss on the lips then standing aside to let her in.

"Am I late?" she asked.

"Just in time," he replied, leading her to the couch.

"Wow," Rae said. "It looks so beautiful in here."

The only light came from the numerous coloured candles in their glass coverings that he'd placed strategically around the room, and from the moonlight drifting through the open windows. Rae looked ethereal in this light, positively stunning. He hoped he could keep his hands off her long enough to show her how much he had to give.

"I'm glad you like it," he said, sitting down next to her. "So, what do you want to eat? Italian, Chinese? "

"I'll eat anything, I'm starving," she replied.

"Room service, then," he said as he reached for the phone. "It'll be quicker."

When they had placed their orders, he turned to face her. She looked more nervous than him.

"Relax," he told her. "I don't bite. Not unless you want me to, that is."

She chuckled a bit and he saw some of her tension ease.

"So we're really just going to talk, then?" she asked.

"Among other things," he smiled.

Among a lot of other things. He was going to make sure she kept coming back.

* * *

"I really enjoyed myself tonight," Maria said as John signalled for the bill.

"So did I," he smiled. "I hope we can do it again soon."

"I'd love that."

"You wanna go somewhere else, maybe for a drink? The night is still young," he asked as he put some money on the table.

"I'm going to have to take a rain check. I'm really tired, Rae wore me out last night. I keep having these images of her screaming at me to get on a barrel," she chuckled.

"What?"

"I still have no idea what that was all about," she laughed as John helped her out of her chair.

"You're coming to their house this weekend for her party, though, aren't you?"

"Yeah, Randy told me about that. It sounds like it's going to be a lot of fun."

"Normally they just find a bunch of people they want to sleep with and throw them all in one place, then spend hours indulging themselves. This year Randy's doing something different for her, since she's trying to build a relationship with Jeff and an orgy doesn't really fit in with that," he laughed as the doorman hailed a cab for them. "I'm sure, though, that I'll still have to scrape them off the floor before the day is out. Randy's planning on buying that much alcohol."

"Do you always play their daddy?"

"I don't play daddy at all," John said. "It's not my fault I can handle my drink better so I'm almost always sober when they pass out!"

"So you're telling me you don't actually go out of your way to make sure they're alright, and tell them off when you think they're doing something wrong?"

"Well, it's not like they listen to me anyway, you know those two do whatever the hell they want," John said in his defence. "The last time I didn't look out for them they ended up in Vegas doing their best to gamble their life savings away."

"So you do daddy them!" Maria chuckled. "I'm not saying there's anything wrong with that. I think they're lucky to have you watching out for them. You're a good guy, John."

"You really think so?"

"Yeah. But Saturday I want you to loosen up and enjoy yourself."

"You say that like you think I'm boring," John said.

"You're anything but. You're funny, you're sweet, you're sensitive and you care about people. It's hard to find all those qualities in a guy," Maria said as a taxi stopped in front of them. "All I'm saying is, Saturday I want you to take care of yourself for a change. Do what you want to do. What do _you_ want to do?"

"If I told you that you might not come," John smiled wickedly.

"Don't be so sure about that," Maria whispered with a naughty smile of her own as she got into the taxi.

* * *

"Are you sure you don't want me to take my clothes off?"

"I'm sketching your face, Rae" Jeff chuckled as his pencil expertly ran over the paper.

"Yeah, but I could still take my clothes off," Rae smiled wickedly.

Jeff laughed again and caught her eyes. She had such gorgeous blue eyes...

"Stop trying to sabotage my work."

"Ok, just a sock then," she said, pulling a sock off one of her feet and wriggling her toes at him.

She was lying on some cushions on the floor, next to the candle light, where she ended up after their meal and a few beers. Her nervousness had completely disappeared now and Jeff had seen a glimpse of what lay inside her. He'd also found out she had a great sense of humour; she laughed easily. The first time that laughter had lit her eyes, he'd been mesmerised. It had humbled him a bit that she could still laugh with all that she was going through; before that morning, all he'd had was a broken heart and he'd felt like death.

Hours into the night, he'd grabbed his sketch pad. She looked so beautiful, he'd felt he had to.

"How is taking one sock off going to make you feel any better?" he laughed.

"I just think that sketch would look a lot better with a bit of flesh."

"I'm doing your face!" Jeff laughed again.

"If you put just one of my toes on it... scratch that, put my whole foot," she said. "Tell you what; I can take my clothes off."

Jeff put his pencil down and looked at her. He'd done alright, he supposed. Three hours and he hadn't really touched her yet even though he'd been dying to. The sexual tension had been unbearable. It had slowly built up through the night with a single look now and then, a simple brush of his fingers, while they had talked. It had turned out that talking to her was easier than he had imagined. Being an artist herself, she understood him better than a lot of people. She did photography; not just people but anything that caught her soul. He'd seen her work before, in magazines and in a few galleries; and he understood why she was in such demand. She was really good. Good enough to set up her own company and actually do well in it. Once he retired from wrestling, he hoped his work would do as well.

"Take your clothes off then," he said softly, holding her gaze as he conveyed a silent message. "Slowly."

With a little grin, she started to do as she was told. There was no hint of any shyness or reservations; not that he had expected any. She was as brazen as they came. He sat back in the chair as his eyes followed her every move. The time had finally come, and as he had known, it was worth waiting for.

Moving to the beat of the music, she slowly rid herself of her clothes, her eyes on his face the whole time. He knew what she saw in his eyes; burning need. He swore he could actually hear his heart beating quicker and quicker with every inch of skin she exposed.

Finally, she knelt before him on the cushion completely naked, perfection personified. The gentle light cast a golden glow on her skin and hair, making her looks like those of a naughty little angel. She got on all fours, her eyes on his and the naughty grin still on her face as she advanced on him slowly, like a wild cat advancing on its prey. The only difference was running was the last thing on his mind. He was going to let her catch him, to let her do whatever her little heart desired.

Because, in all honesty, he'd never been as horny as he was in that moment.

* * *

It was almost six in the morning when Rae finally made her way back to the room she shared with her friends. Both of them were fast asleep but she knew they would be up soon for their morning workout.

With a stupid little smile on her face, she took her clothes off and found one of Randy's t-shirts. Her hair was still a bit damp from the shower she'd just had with Jeff when he'd said goodbye to her in the filthiest kind of way. She was getting hot just thinking about it! She wondered briefly if, if she hadn't been looking for a relationship and she'd set her sights on Jeff, would she still have been blown away by the chemistry? There was no doubt she would have noticed him, he _was_ hot after all.

She made herself comfortable in Randy's arm and fell asleep almost straight away. Jeff hadn't let her sleep at all.

* * *

The moment he realised she was asleep, Randy opened his eyes and looked down at her. She had a little smile on her face, so obviously things had gone well with Jeff. He still didn't know how to feel about that. He wanted her to be happy, he really did, but he already felt like he was losing her.

She stirred and made herself more comfortable on his chest, tangling her legs with his under the sheets. He was well aware platonic friends didn't really do that, and soon she would realise that and stop. She'd be saving her cuddles for Hardy. She'd save everything for Hardy.

He held her closer and buried his face in her hair, which he realised was still damp. Why did she have to change? What was so wrong with fucking whoever she wanted then coming home to him? It had worked so well for them before. Obviously it was the list. The more things she had done on it the more she had changed. He was going to have to get his hands on it and see what else he had to expect. He didn't want to wake up one day and hear she'd got herself pregnant. Finding a proper relationship was one thing. Having another man's babies was quite another. He might have kissed the big house and room for a few ponies away, but it was a bit harder letting go of the images he had of their children.

Still, he would have to. Noone made those sort of pacts, anyway, except in movies. Besides, he could always find someone when he was ready to settle down, and Rae would always be in his life, anyway. It wasn't like she was dying, or anything like that and he'd never see her again.

**AN: So they've been on their dates, she's about to catch a plane to spend a couple of days with her father and Randy is planning party for her. Things seem to be going well, right? Hmmm... Thanks for the reviews to all my old and new readers. Keep reading coz everything's soon going to take a nosedive. **

**Much love.**

**Lynn.**


	16. Chapter 16

**So this one is mostly just talk, it didn't come out the way I wanted. Sort of put me to sleep, actually! It's the day before her surprise party. Sorry it's all taking so long. Thank you for the reviews, Orton Addict, sailormama, VASHORTYGIRL, Cena-holic8, bingobaby and nothingsnobody.**

* * *

Before she got off the plane she reapplied her make-up and sorted her hair. She knew it was pointless, Randy would know straight away that she had been crying.

The past two days had been more painful than she had imagined. She had got to see her dad on his own turf with the family that she had never wanted to know. Two little half brothers and a step mum. They had turned out to be sweet, kind people, nothing like she had always imagined.

From the moment Mark had picked her up at the airport in Austin she'd felt like she'd been swept away into another world. Sara had been so happy to finally meet her, she was positive she'd seen a few tears glimmer in the older woman's eyes. Her little brothers, Drew and Timmy, had shown no reservations at all. The whole time she'd been there they had more or less been stuck to her, telling her, the way only a six and a four year old could, how happy they were about her being their sister. They had accepted her with no questions asked.

They had treated her as part of their family from the word go. Her very first night, the boys had asked for a bed time story from her and she'd sat with them long after they had fallen asleep, thinking how much she had missed of their young lives. How different would her life have been if she had accepted her father when he had found her? How different would it have been if she had time now to get to know them? When she had gone back downstairs she had sat with Mark and Sara and talked well into the night. It had been so long since she had felt like she belonged...

In her own room, she had cried herself to sleep both nights. She had started wishing she had not come up with the stupid list in the first place. It would have been so much easier to say goodbye to Mark if she'd never told herself she had to get to know him first. She just hadn't expected to like him that much. She had thought she'd just throw him a few crumbs, you know; do him a little favour for all the years he had tried to be in her life. Now, not only would she have to say goodbye to the incredible man she had come to know, she had to say goodbye to a whole new family.

When they had dropped her off at the airport, they had made her promise to visit them again soon. She'd had to lie to them that she would. She couldn't do that again, it was too painful.

So for most of the flight, she had sat in her seat and silently cried to herself. It had been only as they were landing that she had thought to tidy herself up for Randy to try and avoid any awkward questions.

"Rae!"

She looked around and saw Randy waving at her to get her attention. Plastering a smile on her lips, she pulled her bag to where he was waiting and walked into his arms. Her dear friend, where in the world would she be without him?

"You alright?" he asked, tilting her face up so he could look at her.

"Yeah. I have two little brothers," she answered.

She hadn't meant it to sound so shaky.

"Was it too much?" he asked softly.

She buried her face in his chest instead of answering. She didn't want to talk about the new family she was leaving behind.

"Let's go home," Randy said as he took her bag and led her out of the airport, his protective arm around her the whole time.

The ride to their house was made in almost complete silence. She had too much whirling around in her mind, she knew she would have burst into tears again right there if he asked any questions. As always, he knew her well enough to understand that without her having to say anything. Of course, that meant an explanation later, but for now she was happy for the reprieve.

Randy drove his car up the driveway of the house they had bought together a few years back. Neither of them were hardly ever home due to work commitments, so because of that, this house had become their haven, the one place in the world where they could just chill out.

"Mum invited us over for dinner tonight. Should I cancel?" Randy asked when they walked into the house.

"God, no! Your mum will only blame me," Rae said as she walked into the lounge.

The tv was blaring and John was sprawled out on one of the sofas watching a music channel.

"Hey, sweetheart," he said when he saw her. "How did it go?"

"Don't you have your own house to go to?" Rae grumbled as she dropped herself next to him and let him give her a hug.

"Is that the thanks I get for coming all this way to keep you company tomorrow?"

"I already said I don't want a fuss," she said firmly. "If either of you decide to throw a party I swear I will chop your balls off and feed them to the dogs!"

"Ouch! What the hell's got you?"

She let out a tired sigh just as Randy walked in after taking her bag up to her room.

"Nothing. I'm just tired."

"Maybe something in here will cheer you up," Randy said as he dropped a bunch of letters onto her lap.

"I doubt it," she mumbled as she went through the letters.

Her heart missed a beat when she realised that half of them were from the doctor's office. Randy would have noticed that too because the return address was on the back. She tensed up as she realised she might have to explain why. She wasn't ready to do that just yet. She'd ignored the doctor's calls on her cell phone but she hadn't really thought he would write to the house.

"What's all that about, Rae?"

When she looked up she realised both men had been watching her reactions.

"Oh, nothing," she lied. "I went for some blood tests some time ago, like I do every few months."

"There's at least five letters from Dr. Harvey's office. They can't all be about one blood test."

She noticed John perk up a bit at the mention of the doctor then remembered he had answered her phone the previous week. What had she told him? Headache?

"I did a few female checks, too," she lied. "Nothing to worry about, I'm fine."

"How do you know that if you haven't opened the letters?" Randy asked.

"Because I was anxious so I went to Dr. Harvey before my trip to Columbia. You know they write to you anyway to tell you your results are back. These must have been already in the post when I went there."

Had she been convincing? She hoped so. Randy was the one person who could always catch her lies but this was the one time she needed him to buy it. In a couple of weeks or so, when she had done all she needed to do, she would tell him. Not everything, of course, just about the cancer. If he found out now, she had no doubt he would drag her to the doctor's office and force her into treatment. Then she would be forced to go through useless chemo while Randy watched her die. That would be worse than the dying itself. She couldn't do that to him.

She threw the letters aside and put her feet up. She knew they were still watching her.

"What?" she frowned.

"It's just that there was a bunch of messages on the phone for you as well."

Oh, crap! Weren't these doctors supposed to respect your privacy and all that?

"Who was it?" she asked as if she didn't know.

"Dr. Harvey wants you to come in," he explained.

He was watching her face closely, so obviously his brain was ticking.

"I spoke to him already," she said, brushing it off. "Last week. John knows that."

Randy looked at John for confirmation.

"Well, I answered her phone while she was asleep..." John said.

Bull crap! It was only a little white lie and John couldn't even do that. She knew he was going to explain that he'd answered her phone and only took a message. He had no idea if she'd called the doctor back.

"See?" she cut in. "Now, if both of you will just shut up, I've had a rough few days. I'm going to take a little nap before I freshen up and get ready for your mum's dinner."

With that, she picked her mail up and stood to leave the room.

"Rae, what the hell is going on?" Randy said, grabbing her arm before she could walk out. "What are you hiding from me?"

"Nothing!" she snapped. "I've just spent a couple of days with my brand new family. My little brothers told me they love me. Forgive me for thinking everything else right now is total bullshit!"

With that she pulled her arm out of Randy's grasp and angrily stormed out of the room.

As soon as she was safely in her room, she let out a sigh and prayed that had done the trick. She deserved an Oscar for that performance!

* * *

"Rae, come on. You look gorgeous, let's go already!"

"How do I look gorgeous, I'm not even dressed yet?" she chuckled as she riffled through the clothes in her wardrobe.

She wasn't feeling attractive at all. After she'd lain down on her bed that afternoon, she'd had another one of her attacks. After the sleeping pill had worn off she'd still felt so tired and going to see Randy's family was the last thing on her mind. But because she had promised to go, she thought if she made a bit of an effort with her clothes she'd feel better about herself and maybe draw attention away from the bags under her eyes.

"You know you don't need to dress up," Randy said from his spot on her king sized bed. "A pair of jeans will do."

She pulled out a pair of white, knee length Capri pants and a black halter neck top with white stripes and held them against her underwear clad body.

"How about this?" she asked him.

"Yes!"

Rolling her eyes, she threw the outfit on the bed on top of the large pile of clothes she had discarded already next to him. He'd said yes to everything.

"If you don't hurry up and pick something I'll drag you out of here in your little French knickers," Randy threatened.

"With no bra?" she asked with a pretend incensed gasp, covering her bare breasts with her hands in false modesty. "Your mother would have a fit!"

There was a little knock on the door before John walked in. She had no idea why he still knocked; he'd seen her in the worst possible situations before.

"Tammy is here," he told her.

The way he held her gaze told her that her personal assistant had probably explained her reasons for her visit. Shit! He raised his eyebrows questioningly, making her rush to grab the Capri pants and top off the bed.

"Yeah, I was expecting her," she lied as she quickly dressed.

"Why did you tell her to come now? You know how mum gets when we're late," Randy moaned as he got off the bed to follow.

"It won't take a minute. Grab your keys," she said as she grabbed a pair of heels and her bag and rushed past John.

Tammy was waiting in the lounge, sitting all prim and proper on the edge of one of the sofas. She was only 21 now; she'd been her assistant for over two years now. Rae had picked her solely for the fact that the little brunette had come to the interview, straight out of school and dressed from head to toe in her conservative clothes looking like she couldn't be touched and she just hadn't been able to help herself. She'd imagined breaking her down slowly until she finally took what she wanted. Tammy had turned out to be the best person for the job, despite her tender years and inexperience so in the end she had decided against bedding her PA. She'd realised she couldn't lose her.

"Tammy, we can't do this right now," she said quickly.

"So when? You're ignoring my calls and you've been off God knows where without a word," Tammy started. "If I hadn't seen you in some entertainment magazine with Randy, I would never have known where you were."

"I was going to call you," she said.

"And while you thought about it, we've already lost two accounts," Tammy revealed. "We're in danger of losing three of our biggest if you don't stick to their agreements and do what we said we'd do."

"Tammy, I really can't do this right now," she repeated. "Hire out if you need to, I can't come back to work right now."

"Why? What could be more important than the business you've shed blood and tears to get where it is today? There are bigger companies out there who'll eat us up without a second thought; we'll be just an afterthought."

"I said I'd call you, Tamara," she repeated, using her full name to express how serious she was being. "You can run that business single handed, you've done it a million times before. Hire out or take on some of the accounts yourself. I'll be in touch soon."

Tammy stood up and picked her bag up, realising she had been dismissed. Rae felt something unfamiliar choke her, and she realised it was guilt. Tammy didn't deserve what was about to happen.

When she'd walked the brunette to the door, she said to her, "Give yourself a raise. And a bonus. I couldn't be where I am without you."

"What's going on, Rae?" Tammy asked, realising that there was more than met the eye.

"I will call you. Soon. I'll explain everything."

When she finally shut the door, she realised she had to see her lawyers as soon as possible. She had already done her will but they would have to make some adjustments. She would leave the company to Tammy. After two years working in close proximity with her she knew a few things about what made her who she was. She lived with an invalid mum and a Down's syndrome brother, it would be hard for her to start looking for another job now, not one that would pay her as well as she was paid now.

"Explain what?"

She turned from the door to see John standing right behind her. She rolled her eyes and walked past him to put her shoes on in the lounge.

"John, I love you and all, but you need to just step right on out of my business," she told him.

"I want to know what's going on with you. Tammy seemed very upset, she said you just took off without a word and left her struggling with your work by herself."

"So I took unscheduled time off," she snapped. "That's got nothing to do with you. And I'd appreciate it if you kept this to yourself; I don't need Randy on me about it as well."

"You led him to believe that I know what you and Dr. Harvey talked about, he's been asking about it all afternoon," he told her. "If you want to keep secrets from him, that's your business but don't involve me in it."

"Well, it's good to know I've got friends like you watching my back," she snapped.

"What the fuck is your problem? You haven't been yourself at all this whole week. I'm your friend, I'll always have your back, but we're worried about you."

Rae picked her bag up, her back to him so he couldn't see her face. This weekend wasn't going to go well, was it? She didn't want to fight with John, but she'd rather do that than reveal the truth.

"Just back off, John," she said when she heard Randy coming down the stairs.

"This is not finished, Rae. Not by a long shot," John whispered angrily before walking out of the room.

She took a calming breath. She could handle this. Neither of them knew anything, not really. She could blame her behaviour on a number of things. Her emotional two days with Mark, maybe? Or her stupid bucket list. She could do this. She wouldn't fall apart.

"Hey, come on. If you're not in the car in one minute we're driving off without you," Randy called out even as he walked out the front door.

* * *

Rae ate her meal in silence as she watched the usual organised chaos at the Orton dinner table. She had been a part of it for so long; Elizabeth Orton joked that Randy had practically kidnapped her the day they had met and she'd become a permanent fixture in the Orton household. She loved them all like they were her family and in a way, they were. After her mum had died, she had only had them. She watched them now, wishing to God she didn't have to leave them so soon.

Ethan was back at home for the weekend, having followed his dad and brother into the wrestling circuit. She didn't remember anything about when their mothers had met but he had only been a few months old. She couldn't understand how he hadn't turned out to be as perverted as they were, he'd certainly hung around them long enough for it to have rubbed off on him. He and John had to be the sweetest people in the world, even if sometimes they were major pains in the butt.

"You're awfully quiet, Rae," Elizabeth said, above the loud voices of the men talking around the table.

"I was just thinking," she smiled.

Elizabeth had been her other mum for most of her life. When her real mum had died, she had become her only mum. Of course, she could never replace her real mother, but having her there for her like she was to her own kids had helped her through many rough patches.

"You looked really sad. What were you thinking of?"

"Probably how much she's missing her boyfriend," Randy put in.

"Boyfriend?" Bob Orton asked.

It was no secret what she thought about relationships.

"Yeah. She's seeing Jeff Hardy," Randy explained.

"Wow. How did that happen?" Ethan teased. "Did he offer you money or drugs?"

"Ethan!" Elizabeth admonished.

"I'm just saying he doesn't seem like her type," Ethan defended himself. "I always thought she'd go for someone like Randy; you know, big, buff with not much going on upstairs."

"Don't make me come over there and knock you out," Randy said to his brother good naturedly as he finished the last of his apple pie.

"So what's brought this on?" Elizabeth asked.

"I don't know," she lied. "Maybe my impending old age."

"Twenty-six ain't old," Bob said. "You've only just barely started living."

Yeah. She knew that. That was why the whole thing seemed so unfair.

"So how long have you been with him?" Ethan asked.

"Just a couple of days."

"Four," Randy pointed out, then when everyone looked at him questioningly, added, "It was a rough four days, so yes, I've been counting!"

"Four days! Wow. Blow the trumpets!" Ethan said sarcastically. "I don't think that's long enough to introduce you to his family."

"Ethan!" John spoke up.

"No, he's right. I'm not the type of girl guys take home to meet their parents, anyway. I'd hit on their dads then when their mums complain I'd hit on them, too," she said with a sad little smile as she got up. "I'm going outside for a cigarette."

When she was gone, Bob smacked his son up his head.

"What? She's not normally that sensitive," he argued. "I'll go and apologise."

"I'll go," Randy said as he got out of his chair and followed her.

"What's going on?" Elizabeth asked John.

"I don't know. She's not herself at all," he replied.

* * *

Randy didn't think she even heard him walk up to her. She had her cigarette between her fingers but he didn't think she was actually smoking it. She was looking out into the darkness, a lost expression on her face. Had something happened while she had been at Taker's? She'd been alright when she'd boarded her plane, well, alright if you didn't count trying to pull off a relationship with Jeff. He still thought that was crazy.

"Hey," he said softly as he sat himself down next to her on the chair swing and took her cigarette. "What was that all about?"

"I don't know," she sighed. "I've just been having a few bad days."

"What happened at Mark's?"

Had Sara been mean to her?

"Nothing. They were all so nice to me. I didn't deserve that."

"Of course you did. You've had a bad few years, it's about time you realised you're not alone," he said as he put his arm around her. "Taker is your family; just give yourself time to get used to it."

"You're right. I don't need to take it all in straight away," she said, giving him a little smile.

"Of course I'm right. Now cheer up."

"Yes, sir," she chuckled.

"Now, what do you say we lose these people and go cuddle up on my bed with a few beers and a movie?"

"That sounds like a plan."

Randy stubbed out his cigarette and helped her up. Hopefully, once he poured a few beers down her throat, she would tell him what was really bugging her. He wasn't stupid. He knew something was wrong. If she didn't tell him then he'd just have to get it out of her himself.


	17. Chapter 17

Randy wasn't fucking about. He'd poured beer after beer down her throat while they talked idly over some silly romantic comedy that Rae had picked for some reason. Then he'd started on the shots of whiskey. He'd had the same drink in his hand the whole night, he wasn't stupid. It would have done him no good if she revealed something and he was too drunk to remember it in the morning.

"Can you honestly tell me that sometimes you don't feel like life's just passing you by? Like everyone else knows something you don't."

They were sprawled on Randy's bed and the movie was now forgotten. She was halfway drunk already but he didn't want to get her too drunk. She was useless when she was too drunk. He wouldn't get anything useful out of her at all.

"Never."

"Not even once?" she asked, lifting her head to look at him.

"No. I'm doing everything I love; wrestling, travelling and women. I love my sports, my monster trucks and my cars. I love my drink and my music. I enjoy my life and up until a few months ago, you did too. I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything at all."

"But we go from bed to bed. We've never even tried building anything serious with anyone. This past week Jeff just blew me away. I never knew you could get a connection like that with anyone. And I wouldn't have known it either if I hadn't decided to give it a shot."

Randy poured her another shot. Jeff again. She'd spoken about nothing else. He was getting quite sick of hearing about him.

"So are you falling in love with the guy?"

She wrinkled her nose.

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves. I like him and the sex is fucking awesome."

Thank fuck! For some reason, he didn't think he'd have liked to hear that she was actually falling in love. He needed time to get used to her in a relationship first.

"So how long do you think it will last?"

He saw the fleeting look that crossed her face.

"As long as I don't fuck it up, I suppose. It hasn't been as hard as I thought it would be; I actually want to be with the guy. I think I'm missing him, as well. That's a funny feeling because I normally only miss you."

He watched her drown her whiskey in one gulp as he thought over what she had just said. It had started already. First she'd want to spend all her time with Jeff and the next thing he'd hear was she was having his baby, or something freaky like that.

He gulped down all the bitter liquid in his glass and poured both of them another shot.

Okay, enough chit chat. It was time to get some real answers.

"Why are you really doing this, though? What made you want a relationship that bad?"

He saw that look again. What the fuck was she hiding?

"I'm going to tell you something, and I don't want you to freak out or call me crazy."

Finally!

"What is it?"

"When mum died, remember how I was convinced I was being punished for something? That's why I came up with that list."

"Yeah, I remember."

How could he forget? She'd looked to him for comfort and he'd been useless.

"But as I did the crazy things on the list I started thinking, mum was gone, but for fourteen years she swore she'd had her soulmate. She never got with anyone after Greg died. She was alone for seven years but she always told me she might have been by herself but she wasn't alone. While she was suffering, I got the feeling she wanted to just give up and be with Greg again. She loved him that much. I just want... I want to know what that's like," she said. "When I die, I want someone to feel like that about me."

"Is that what this is all about? You want someone to love you with everything they are?" Randy asked softly. "_I_ love you like that, Rae. You know that. God forbid, if you die tomorrow, I'll always have a big empty place in my heart that no one else can ever fill. We might not be lovers but we _are_ soulmates."

"I know that... I guess I just wanted more. I want to mean the world to just one person the way Greg was to mum. I want to find that deep connection. If I could find just one person out there, man or woman, who is like you and Jeff combined, I think I'd be the happiest woman alive."

"So if I was sleeping with you and we somehow found this connection, would you forget all this rubbish?"

She laughed and gave him a kiss on the cheek. What was so fucking funny? He was being serious. If he had to sleep with his best friend to save her from herself then he would.

"Babes, I couldn't trust you as far as I can throw you. You'd cheat on me the second my back was turned and I can't be worrying about that now."

"I wouldn't cheat on you. The last thing I'd ever do is hurt you."

"Really? Remember Kim? We'd been together just five minutes before you went sniffing up her skirt," she laughed.

So she _did_ know about her.

"Yeah, but you were cheating on me, too. Besides, we were kids then."

He poured her another shot and watched her gulp all of it down again. The night was still young and he had a hell of a lot of questions.

"Remember when you and Jeff had that argument or whatever the hell it was?" he asked, changing the direction of their conversation. "What didn't you want me to know? What did you leave in his room?"

There was the look again. Obviously, she was thinking up a lie.

"Just a pair of crotch-less panties. I threw myself at him and he turned me down. I was just a bit too embarrassed to tell you."

When the hell was this alcohol going to loosen her tongue? She didn't normally handle her drink that well.

So he kept topping her drink up. He should have known when to stop; he knew how his friend got after a certain number of drinks. She just hadn't been giving him anything useful to work with so he'd kept them coming.

"I haven't been fucked in three days."

Randy stopped in the middle of pouring another drink and eyed his friend. Rolling his eyes, he put the top back on the whiskey and drank her drink himself. He obviously wasn't getting any more information out of her.

"I think it's bed time."

"No," she moaned as she rolled onto her back. "Let's go out and find someone."

"Have you forgotten about Jeff already?"

"It's been three days Randy. Do you want me to die?"

Randy chuckled as he picked his friend up to position her the right way round on the bed.

"You've got a whole drawer full of toys. That will do you till you see Jeff again."

He _should _have taken her out to some bar. Maybe that way she would stop trying to be something she wasn't and just leave Jeff alone. But he wouldn't. He knew she wasn't thinking straight right now and she'd only hate herself in the morning.

"I don't want toys," she said as she wrapped her legs around him. "Do you think Jeff does booty calls?"

It took him a while to extract her from his body and put her down. A horny Rae was more determined than usual.

"Are you going to undress me?"

He saw the look in her eyes and then his eyes were drawn to the tip of her tongue as it licked her lips.

"Are you coming onto me?" he asked incredulously.

"Come on, Randy. You know you want this."

This was new. She had never come onto him before.

"You're drunk."

"And you're hot," she murmured as she sat up and latched on to his neck again. "Let me show you what I've learnt. It'll blow your mind."

His eyes widened when her lips found his spot, just on his neck behind his ear. What the hell was she doing?

"Babe, we don't do this," he said as he moved his head out of the way.

"Maybe we should start," she slurred as she pulled his head back before she started unbuttoning his shirt.

What the hell was he supposed to do? He'd never had to deal with her like this, one on one, not since their ill-fated two weeks together. He knew he'd said he'd sleep with her to save her from herself, but he hadn't meant it like this and definitely not that night.

Before he knew it, he was shirtless and lying flat on his back while she sat astride him. It took her only a second to whip her top off and she hadn't worn a bra with it.

He had seen them a million times. He'd played with them a million times. But for some reason, looking at her firm breasts that night sent a different message to his brain. It was probably because he had gone a record 4 days with no sex. He wouldn't have looked at her like that otherwise. She was... Rae.

"Rae... stop," he said when she started messing with his zipper.

He saw the way her eyes trailed his torso, like she was dying to eat him up. When her lips found their way to his chest and the tip of her tongue snaked over his nipple, he let out a loud groan. What the fuck?! Why the hell was he getting so turned on? This was Rae... The only time he thought of her in that way was when they had a gang bang because she always looked so hot when she was horny and even better when she came. And also because that was the only time he ever really touched her like that. Beyond that was a definite no. It just wasn't done. He couldn't sleep with her they way he did all those random girls. It would... cheapen their relationship.

When she finally handled the bulge in his pants, he panicked and pulled her back up his body. It didn't help that he was then staring directly at her naked breasts.

"Rae, listen to me..."

"Kiss me," she cut in.

"What?"

Before he knew what was happening, she had his lips in a kiss. He kissed her all the time but not like this. Never like this. This kiss sent him reeling; it sent something similar to a million volts of electricity down his spine and replaced his dick with a steel pole. What the fuck was she doing to him? And she didn't stop, either. She kept kissing him, moving her body all over his until he couldn't bear it anymore.

It would have been the easiest thing to do to just lift her bodily off him and escape, but he found escape was now the last thing on his mind... Tentatively, his hands found her tight little butt and held her down on the steel pole. She let out a little whimper that sent his blood boiling. Would he go to hell for this? There had to be some law against this. Rae might not have been a blood relative but she was still his family.

"Make love to me," she whispered.

He didn't need a second invitation. Part of him was disgusted at how quickly he had put aside all his reservations but the other part just wanted to get the rest of her clothes off and enjoy her. Let the morning and all its regrets come, but the night was theirs.

He rolled her over so he was on top of her and kissed her the way she had kissed him. When she was squirming underneath him, he lowered himself to the little buttons on the Capri pants she was wearing. It only took a few seconds to rid her of them, and the little pants she wore underneath. God, she was beautiful! His hands slowly touched all of her, revelling in the softness of her skin and the way it turned her on.

He wanted to take his time, to enjoy every single moment of it, but he couldn't wait. He wanted her with an urgency he had never felt before. He didn't even wait to take his jeans off; he just pulled them down slightly to free his need.

He looked into her fevered eyes for a second and saw she couldn't bear it either. When her legs wrapped tightly around him and pushed the tip of him where she needed him, he completely lost his head. Everything else was forgotten. He slowly pushed himself into her and couldn't believe how incredibly good she felt.

"Yes..." she moaned, bucking her hips so she took even more of him.

He pulled out then back in again, deeper than the first time, earning himself a little scream.

"Faster, Jeff."

He froze. Jeff? What the fuck?

"Rae... It's me," he said breathlessly.

Please, God, let it be just a slip of the tongue.

"Don't stop, Jeff," she murmured underneath him.

"Fucking hell!" he swore as he pulled out of her and rolled away.

He should have remembered that she was drunk. He shouldn't have given in at all. Fuck!

One look at her revealed that she had passed out. Great. Just fucking great. Getting off the bed, he pulled his jeans up and found his shirt on the floor. Then he grabbed a pair of shoes and his car keys from the side of the bed. He needed to get out of there.

* * *

John was just getting home when Randy bolted out of the front door.

"Hey, where's the fire," he joked before he saw the freaked out expression on his face. "What's wrong?"

Randy stopped and pulled on his ear lobe, a sure sign to John that he was about to lie.

"Nothing. I'm just going to that bar up the road," he said. "You and Ethan have a good time?"

"Yeah," John frowned.

"Good. I'll see you in the morning," he said before he walked to the garage to get his car.

John was still standing there when he sped off. What the hell was eating him?

When he made his way upstairs to the room he used when he stayed over, he saw Randy's door slightly open and the light still on. A quick peek revealed the tv still glaring, empty beer and whiskey bottles all over the floor and Rae under the covers, obviously naked as her clothes were scattered all over the floor as well.

He walked in to turn the tv off, then switched the light off before he walked back to his room. They had a big day tomorrow, hopefully neither Rae and Randy would be too hung over to enjoy it. He knew he would enjoy it to the max. Maria would be there. And she was spending the night.

* * *

Randy noticed the blonde girl straight away but he felt like a drink first. He drowned about four shots, one right after the other, before he walked over to her.

He didn't need to work hard at it; in fact he didn't work at all. She was all over him like a rash the minute he gave her his melt-your-panties smirk. Her eyes weren't quite as blue as Rae's and her hair wasn't quite golden, so there was no way anyone would think he had picked her because of these similarities. He didn't want to sleep with Rae at all. He'd only temporarily lost his mind. Come the morning, Rae wouldn't remember a thing and it would be all good again..

He didn't take the woman back to the house. He did her hard and fast in the back of his Hummer then told her to piss off.

Then he went back in for a few more drinks and to pick another woman. He would do this till the dirty image he had he had of Rae moaning underneath him was completely banished from his mind.

* * *

**AN/ So did anyone expect that? So this was supposed to be just a little bit then I was supposed to do the party, but I decided this deserved a whole chapter to itself. Next one is her birthday. Will it be awkward? Will she remember? Will John finally learn to be himself around Maria? Will he get his freak on? You'll just have to stay tuned and find out. I'm working on the next chapter of Broken now. Thank you all for adding me on you alerts and favs and leaving your reviews. I know I can always count on Orton Addict for those; she hasn't missed a single chapter. I must say, about the PMs, I'm glad you didn't mind. Thanks everyone else, sailormama, VASHORTGIRL, Cena-holic8.**

**So read and review, you all know the deal. Thanks**


	18. Chapter 18

**AN/ So this one is really long, sorry about that. It's just that I have to fit everything into the few days she has to carry out her plan because soon she'll either get treatment or she'll die. There is so much that needs to happen before we get to that. The party is broken down into two chapters, this one is just getting it all started. We still have to see how John and Maria get on.**

**Thank you for the reviews, I hope you like this one. Leave a review to let me know. Much love.**

* * *

When John got downstairs the next morning, he frowned when he saw the front door wide open. His eyes followed the trail of clothes on the floor that led to the lounge and when he opened that door, found Randy passed out in a chair, stripped down to his shorts with an empty bottle of whiskey on the floor next to him. What the fuck?!

It seemed to take hours to get him up, but when he finally did and even with a few cups of coffee and some painkillers down him, Randy still hadn't said a word.

"Dude, what the hell is the matter with you?" he asked when he'd finally had enough.

"Nothing," Randy grumbled.

"You know what? Forget it. Just follow me," he snapped as he picked up the tray with their breakfast on in. "Bring the coffee."

They'd planned on waking Rae up with breakfast in bed then spending the morning just lounging before taking her out for lunch. Then Randy would take her shopping, which was one of her favourite pastimes, while he made his excuses and got the house ready for the party. Randy would just have to get over whatever was eating him. He had no time to play nursemaid. Maria had said she'd be there for four o'clock to help and he already had butterflies.

* * *

She woke up with a start when she heard the loud pop in her ear.

"What the fuck?!" she screamed, then immediately regretted it when her head exploded.

"Happy birthday!"

She lifted her head to see her friends standing over her with goofy hats on. Randy was looking less than pleased though, so Mr. Happy had probably dragged him out of bed to pull this stupid stunt. If her headache was anything to go by, Randy was suffering the same fate. They must have gone through the whole liquor cabinet.

"Oh, God, Cena! Take that noise somewhere else," she grumbled as she buried her face in the pillow.

"Come on. We do this every year. You know I'm just going to bug you until you get up," John said as he tried to pull the covers off her.

She _did_ always get shit faced the night before her birthday. Then on her birthday she normally just had a sip here and there while she feasted on human flesh. Aaah, the good life... It was all gone now.

"Just give me another half hour. Randy, get back into bed. I'm lonely all by myself in this big old bed."

If she had lifted her head she would have seen the panicked look on his face, and the frown on John's as he looked from one to the other.

"I'll go and get us some beers first," Randy said as he all but ran to the door.

"It's seven in the morning!" John pointed out.

"It's my birthday. We're allowed to start early," Rae said as she threw the covers off her body to get out of bed.

Again she missed the stricken look on Randy's face as his eyes took in her naked body. But John didn't.

"I'm going to take a quick shower, then. I feel dirty," she said as she walked to the en-suite bathroom. "Randy, maybe you should make it something stronger....."

Before she could finish her sentence, Randy was already gone.

"He must really want that beer," she shrugged.

"Hurry up, though. Your breakfast is getting cold."

She didn't think she could stomach any food, but John was John. He would get it down her one way or another.

"And you and I still need to talk," he added.

With a weary sigh, she closed the bathroom door behind her. She would have to think up some excuse to avoid talking to him.

* * *

"What the fuck is that man doing now?" she muttered when hours later they finally drove up the driveway after a major shopping spree. All on Randy, of course. What kind of birthday would it have been if she'd spent any of her own money?

They had heard the music as soon as they stepped out of the car, but it wasn't until Randy had closed the front door behind him that the awful truth dawned on her. The dicks were throwing her a party!

"Oh, for fuck's sake," she muttered angrily to herself as she turned to leave again.

The last thing she wanted was a party. She had too much going on right now to even think about it. And who in the world had they invited, anyway? It wasn't as if she had any friends.

"Where the hell are you going?" Randy asked, blocking the door with his huge frame.

"I told you guys I didn't want a party," she hissed. "I wasn't just fucking with you."

"I know, but this is different," he said as he dropped the millions of bags of shopping that he had carried in for her. "I know you want to be faithful to Hardy, I'm not going to make it any harder for you by throwing the usual wild party. I invited just family and a few friends."

By family, he meant his family. And by friends he probably meant John's and his. As she'd pointed out before, she could count her friends on two fingers. Three now, with Maria. Everyone else was just a mere acquaintance. Or a conquest.

There was music blasting away from the system, and she heard voices, lots of them, just laughing and talking from somewhere in the house. Was that Mark's voice? Fucking hell! Her friends were breaking her heart and they didn't even know it.

"Well, you can just go on in there and uninvited them," she hissed again as she tried to push him out of the way.

"Rae, what the fuck is the matter with you? These people are here for you."

Yes, they were. And she'd look into all their faces and think of leaving them behind. Even the ones she'd already screwed. Even the ones she couldn't stand. It would break her heart.

"I can't do it, Randy," she whispered, struggling in his arms.

"Do what? What's wrong?"

She stopped struggling and looked up into his eyes. She could actually see the wheels in his head turning. Fuck! She needed to pull herself together before he made her talk. She wasn't ready. But as she held his gaze, she saw the fear in her own eyes mirrored in his. It was too late.

"Alright, fine! I'll go to your little party," she said as she turned away from him, hoping to get away as quick as she could.

But he didn't let her go. He pulled her back and turned her so he had her trapped against the door, one of his hands holding both of hers captive above her head.

"What's wrong?" he demanded again.

"Randy, chill. I just wanted a quiet birthday with just you and a few drinks, but we can do that any other day," she lied.

"Bullshit!" he hissed. "You're hiding something from me."

"Really? Just like you're hiding something from me?" she hissed back.

She saw the look of panic in his eyes and frowned. He had been acting weird all day. Like when John had told them he had stuff to do after her birthday lunch in town and Randy had practically begged him not to leave them. Then when she had suggested underwear shopping, which he loved doing anyway because of all the women he got to chat up, he had run a mile in the opposite direction. And his taste in clothes had been totally warped. She'd modelled the hottest little dress for him and he'd told her to take it off, that it didn't suit her at all. The whole afternoon had gone like that. She had let him get away with it because she had planned on getting it out of him over a few quiet drinks and some music that night, but obviously, with the party and all, it would have to wait.

"Don't turn this round on me. You've been keeping secrets from me from the minute you joined us in Orlando," he hissed. "I let it go because I thought it was because of your list, but now I'm sure it isn't. I gave you one whole freaking week to tell me but you still haven't said shit."

"That's because there's nothing to tell," she lied.

"Again with the bullshit!" he snapped. "Just tell me, Rae. Are you in trouble? Has someone hurt you? What is it? Maybe I could help you."

She held his gaze again. Poor Randy. His world was about to fall apart and he didn't even know it. He wouldn't either until the very last minute if she could help it.

"Next time we get to be alone, we'll talk," she told him. "You're keeping something from me, too. I want to know what it is."

She saw the panic again. She freed one hand and gently put her palm on his cheek. What the fuck was wrong with him?

"Tell me, sweetheart."

He closed his eyes and leaned his head into her palm. For a second, she felt some sort of desperation in him. And frustration. Had someone hurt _him_? He only had to say the word and she'd be all up in that bitch.

"About time!"

John walked into the entrance hall at that moment, a huge goofy smile on his face as he walked to his friends and broke the moment. Randy quickly released her and looked away, earning a little frown from her.

"A few people dropped by to wish you a happy birthday and I just asked them in to wait for you. I couldn't be rude and tell them to fuck off," he started. "It was a complete surprise."

"Save it, John. Randy's already told me you guys planned it," she told him as she let him lead her away from Randy to the lounge.

"I do not know what you are talking about," he answered in an exaggerated voice, as if he was reading from cue cards.

The first person she saw was Mark. He was standing alone right by the door with a drink in his hand. She really hadn't expected to see him again so soon.

"Hey," he smiled when he saw her. "Surprise!"

She walked into his open arms for a much needed boost of strength before she turned to the rest of the people in the room.

They were all there. The Ortons, Tammy, Maria. The idiots had even invited quite a few of their friends from work. They were probably only there for the free booze. She walked further into the room, plastered a fake smile on her lips and dropped kisses on her nearest and dearest as she accepted their birthday wishes.

"Happy birthday, sweetheart," Elizabeth Orton said with a smile.

"Yeah," Ethan put in as he took her into his arms. "It's just a shame that the one time you've actually allowed me to one of your parties, you've rated it PG."

Maria stood with them as well. As Randy's good friend, she had already met the family a few times. It made her see how much of a selfish bitch she had been before for not seeing how close Maria had become to them. She gave the brunette a kiss on the cheek and made her promise her a birthday dance before the night was out. John was standing next to her and his little cough told her he didn't like that at all. Well, payback was a bitch. She'd flirt the socks off Maria's pretty little feet just to piss him off. But not just yet. She needed a few strong drinks in her system first if she was to get through this night.

She smiled at the rest of the guests in turn, pretending she was happy to see them all as she walked towards the adjoining bar/game room. She wasn't being a bitch but she just really couldn't handle them all there all at once. This wasn't like a club where she could just ignore them all.

The bar/game room was their pride with a well equipped fully fledged bar at one end, complete with bar stools, tables and chairs and of course, a couple of pool tables and an ancient duke box. On the other end was where they did the serious business of gaming. It held every games console and accessories known to man, complete with a few well placed comfortable gaming chairs. She and Randy practically lived in this room when they were home.

But as she walked in, she had to stop in her tracks. The first person she saw in this room was Dave. What the fuck?

"That guy? Really?" she said dryly to John, who was right behind her.

"It was Randy's idea," he shrugged.

Trust Randy! Rolling her eyes, she put the fake smile back on and walked to the bar so she could pour herself that drink.

"Happy birthday, Rae," Dave said when he saw her.

"Thanks," she muttered.

"I bought you something."

She stopped in the middle of pouring her drink to look at the little box he put in front of her. It looked really expensive. What? He thought if he just flashed his money about she'd jump right back into his bed?

"You really shouldn't have," she said without even picking it up.

"I wanted to. It's your birthday, plus it's my way of apologising for being a dick," he smiled. "I won't bother you again."

Like she would buy that shit!

"Okay," she said, just so she could get him off her back.

"I'll say this though. If you ever get tired of Jeff, come and find me. You and I together were explosive. Maybe you'll think about it and feel the same way."

"Dave.... It's done. I told you before I'll never be with you like that again. Just get over it, already! It's been a whole week!"

"Just think about it, Rae. Didn't you feel what I felt? I haven't been able to stop thinking about you," Dave whispered. "I could easily fall in love with you."

She chuckled at that. Before she'd been with Jeff, that statement would have had her thinking she'd found her 'someone'. But she had no time for his bullshit.

"Honestly, Dave, right now I couldn't give a shit even if you paid me," she said as she swallowed her drink in one gulp and poured herself another. "Excuse me."

* * *

"Why am I here again?"

"Because you're my brother and you want to get to know my girlfriend," Jeff snapped as he rang the doorbell. "I'm serious, Matt. You've judged her without even knowing her. Just give her a chance."

"Just last week you were telling Shelton and I how you would never go out with a woman like Rae. I believe your exact words were she's trash," Matt muttered, moving the packages he had from one hand to the other.

"Well, that was last week. A lot has happened since then."

"What? She passed out and poor little Jeffrey rushed in to play hero? Then she thanked you by fucking you and it somehow got your head so twisted you think she'll be faithful to you? Grow up, Jeff."

"You either go in there with me and play nice or you go home right now," Jeff snapped as he turned to face his brother. "I can't deal with that right now. I don't know where Rae and I will be next week but I know for now she's mine and I'm happier than I've been in a long time. If you're not even going to give her a chance, then I don't want you here."

Matt lifted his hand and backed off. He was there to watch Jeff's back. He couldn't do it stuck in their hotel room while that ho sunk her teeth deeper into Jeff.

"Did she explain why she does those drugs? And why she passed out on us?"

"Yes, actually, but you can't say anything about that to anyone."

"Why?"

"It's complicated."

Matt let out a sigh as they waited for someone to get the door. He didn't want to be here. He didn't want Jeff to be here. His brother was getting too caught up in this woman and he didn't see it ending well. And Rae wasn't the sort of woman Jeff could take home to Dad, either.

The door was opened and the spell casting witch stood at the other end, dressed in shortest skirt he had ever seen. And the highest heels. And the skankiest top. Jeff's woman or not, bitch or not, she was hot.

"Jeff!" she screamed as she threw herself into his arms.

Matt watched them and thought how, for people who had only been together a few days, that was a bit too much. He watched the way his brother's eyes lit up as he dropped a kiss on her waiting lips. Then the chemistry that emerged was enough to even knock _him _over.

"I missed you, too," Jeff chuckled when he finally released her lips.

But he didn't let her go. Matt watched the way his brother's hand gently pushed back a lock of her golden hair as the other held her closely against her body. He watched the silly little smile on his lips as his eyes continued to look into hers. He knew his brother well, knew his body language. The boy was pussy whipped! And very soon he would think he was in love.

He couldn't let that happen. It was a good thing he had a plan.

He cleared his throat to get their attention.

"Sorry," Jeff said. "Rae, you know my brother, Matt. Matt, this is the beautiful woman I've been telling you about."

"Nice to meet you, Rae," he lied as he took her hand and placed a kiss on it.

"Likewise," she smiled.

Wasn't the girl a bitch? Wasn't she supposed to have eaten him up with her eyes or something, anything to justify what he was going to do to his brother?

She led them into the house, but at the foot of the stairs, paused.

"I was going up to change," she said to Jeff. "Wanna give me a hand?"

She saw the wicked smile on her face and for a minute thought how he would have loved to be the one to 'help her change'.

"Don't worry about me," he said before Jeff could answer. "I'll see you guys later."

* * *

He'd used the shopping bags as an excuse to get away from everyone, and the moment he'd dropped them on the floor in Rae's walk-in wardrobe he'd closed the door and sat himself down on the chair in front of her dressing table.

What the fuck?! What the hell was he doing thinking about Rae like that? The whole day had been torture but pressing himself up on her against the door had been the stupidest thing he could have done. The second he had done that, he had been reminded of how soft her skin had been to his touch; how incredibly good she had felt underneath him. Not that he had forgotten to start off with.

It was just that last night had brought it all back.... The two weeks when he had hit that shit had probably been the best two weeks of his life. At the age of eighteen, when he was still innocent, he had believed himself firmly in love with her. He'd been a sentimental prick then, believing in love and fairy tale endings. But he hadn't been enough for her so he'd had to move on. The only reason he'd slept with that new girl was because he'd known of her plans to meet with that idiot, Ben from her class. He'd been heartbroken. It was to date the worst thing he'd ever had to go through. That had been when he had started drowning himself in woman after woman to try and forget her and that shit had been hard because, as his best friend, she had always been right there. It was only by chance that he had discovered he actually preferred those meaningless dalliances. The prick known as the Lady Thriller had been born and he hadn't looked back since. Until now.

In time, that brief period was behind them and she had become just Rae again. Everything had gone back to normal. He knew now that he had not been in love with her at all. He'd just felt a bit protective of her when he'd heard that jerk Ben telling everyone how he was going to do her in the back of his father's car. He'd felt she deserved better than that so his immature mind had thought he would be the best thing for her. That was all it had been. It hadn't been love. If it had been, it wouldn't have died down so easily, would it?

And now this shit had to go and happen. Between last night and this evening, he had to have remembered every single time he had slept with her; every single, beautiful moment. It was doing his nut in. He didn't want to think of Rae like that. She was his best friend, his person. Sex would only ruin everything, a lifetime of memories. And it wasn't as if she would want to sleep with him now, anyway. She'd 'had' him already, and she didn't do seconds. Just like him. Well, she never used to do seconds. With Jeff in the picture now it was quite hard to know what she was thinking.

It was one thing to respect each other and trust each other that much that they had made that drunken pact to settle down with each other once she hit thirty. It was quite another to fool themselves and think they could actually fall in love and be faithful their whole lives. He knew he could never do that. He loved women way too much. And she knew that.

Maybe that was why she had gone ahead and found Jeff. If she remembered their deal, she would have known what total bullcrap it was. They had no future together except as best friends. If they somehow ended up together, they would hurt each other that much and probably end up hating each other and that was something he couldn't even contemplate.

So that was it. He was going to push that little incident out of his mind. He'd had all these conflicting and unwanted thoughts all day but he was man enough to just put them behind him. It wasn't as if he had really slept with her anyway. What was a stroke or two between friends? And he kissed her like that all that time when they had their threesomes. Well, almost like that... Okay, never like that. But that didn't matter. No matter how good it was, he could put it out of his mind. He was an expert at loving and leaving. This was no different.

His mind made up, he stood up so he could find a drink and get on with the serious business of partying. Everyone would be wondering where he was by now.

But the sight that met him stopped him in his tracks and blew his little pep talk out of the window.

Rae was naked, sitting astride Jeff on a chair and looking more beautiful than he had ever seen her. Her eyes were closed as she moved slowly on him. He should have just quickly walked out, it wouldn't have been the first time he had seen her in this position, but something held him back. She was... different. He'd never seen her like that before and he couldn't help looking at her.

It felt like forever, but he'd only looked for a few seconds before those incredible blue eyes opened and caught his. But she didn't stop. She held his eyes as she continued to feel whatever Jeff was doing to her. Their position meant Jeff had his back to him so he had no clue another man was standing in the room with them... looking at his woman as he nailed her...

What the?! Moving silently but quickly, he let himself out of her room. He felt dirty, like a pervert getting off on the shit happening in Rae's room. It was one thing to ogle her during one of their orgies and quite another to stand there like an idiot and intrude on her private moment with her boyfriend. That was just sick and disgusting.

When had he become that person? When had he become the person who slept with his friend and took advantage of her when she was drunk? When had he become the man who ogled his friend as she made love to her man? And how the fuck would he get rid of the image of her just... glowing... in Jeff's arms?

"Hey, gorgeous. Where've you been?" Maria asked as soon as he walked into the lounge.

"I need a drink," he mumbled.

"You okay, Randy?" John asked.

The two of them had been standing close to the door looking like they were seriously enjoying each other's company. Well, good for them.

"Yeah," he answered. "I just need a drink."

Completely ignoring everyone else, he headed straight for the bar. This was going to be a long night and it hadn't even started yet.


	19. Chapter 19

**AN/ I struggled a bit with this one. Didn't turn out the way I wanted but certain things are going to have to happen for me to get to the next big part of the story. Hope you like it. And there isn'yt much John/Ria in this one either due to the fact that it got too long. So maybe they do get together, maybe they don't. Maybe they get together with different people entirely.... hmmm... Thank you for your review and adding me onto your alerts. Orton Addict, I forgive you. This one is for you. Enjoy.**

* * *

"You look beautiful."

She turned from the mirror to smile at her rainbow haired warrior.

"Thanks."

She'd had a quick shower and changed into the little black dress that Randy had told her to put back. It was a little halter-neck, baby doll one of flowing silk. Everytime she made a little movement, the material clung to her every curve and transformed it from a simple little dress to an incredibly sexy one. She'd left her hair down to complete the innocent look.

"You okay?"

Of course she wasn't okay. She'd caught her best friend watching her have amazing sex with her boyfriend and had liked it. Wasn't she supposed to be past that shit? He'd watched her a million times before, hell, she'd got off on it! But this time had been different. He'd looked at her differently. It had been unnerving yet she hadn't been able to look away.

"Yeah," she lied. "I just didn't want a party, things being the way they are."

"You haven't told Randy yet?" he asked. "I'm sure if you had, he wouldn't have thrown the party."

He was sitting on the edge of her bed, already dressed and waiting to walk down with her to join the party.

"Maybe I should have then I wouldn't have had to walk down there with a fake smile all night," she sighed. "But I don't want to hurt him. You guys see Randy, the arrogant, egomaniacal son of a bitch, but with me he's an incredibly sensitive man. This would kill him. I know if the tables were turned, I'd want to die, too."

She missed the look the passed so quickly in Jeff's eyes at her words as she put on the final touches of her make-up.

"If you don't want to tell Randy just yet, talk to me," he said. "You've hardly said anything about it. I don't even know when you start your treatment. It's not healthy to keep something this big to yourself."

She bit her lip at his words as she racked her brain for something to say. She was so focussed on that, she failed to realise Jeff's eyes were focussed on her through the mirror.

"I don't want to think about it tonight," she said finally. "Maybe when I'm back on the road with you guys next week."

That would give her a bit of time to actually research what she was going through. Her mum's cancer had been different, she knew all about that. But hers... well, she hadn't exactly stopped to listen to any detailed explanations when that oncologist had given her her results. That was the reason her doctor was after her in the first place.

And besides, if she told Jeff the truth, the first thing he'd do was shoot his mouth off at Randy, John _and _Mark. No, no one was going to like what she had planned.

"You're keeping something from me."

It wasn't a question. She met his eyes briefly in the mirror and looked away.

"No tonight, Jeff. Please. Just ... help me get through this night," she whispered.

He got up from the bed and walked into the dressing room. A little sigh of relief escaped her lips when he pulled her up and just held her.

"Let's go get that party started, then," he said, dropping a kiss on her neck.

In that moment, his phone rang. What was that ring tone? Hate that I love you? What the fuck? She felt him tense before he even looked at the screen and something told her she wasn't going to like this.

"I have to take this," he said as he quickly released her and walked back into the bedroom.

"Sure. I'll just find a pair of shoes," she said, even though he'd already walked away and wasn't paying her any attention.

She didn't mean to eavesdrop but she couldn't help herself. She'd seen the caller ID when he'd pulled his phone out of his pocket. Beth! What the hell was she calling him for?

"What?" he answered, but his voice was lowered and she could tell he was very uncomfortable.

"I'm busy. I'm ...with a friend."

A friend?! Wasn't she his girlfriend? If he'd been serious when he said he was moving on, why couldn't he say that to his ex? Of course, it had only been less than a week since they'd been together, but he of all people should understand she didn't have time to play around.

"It'll have to be tomorrow. I can't get away until then."

Get away? What, he was planning on actually meeting that girl? She'd known from the very beginning how heartbroken he had been but for some reason, her arrogant behind had chosen to believe she could wipe any pain that woman had caused him away without even trying., that Jeff would love her and forget about anyone else. But reality was biting her in the ass. Jeff had been in love with Beth only a week ago. Nothing had changed. He was only with her as a favour to a dying person.

"No. I'll talk to you tomorrow."

He hung up then and she could see how his shoulders were hunched as if speaking to that woman had been incredibly painful. When he turned and caught her staring, she quickly looked away and searched for her shoes.

"That wasn't what it looked like."

She plastered a fake smile on her face and looked up at him.

"It's all good, Jeff. You don't need to explain anything to me," she lied.

"I couldn't not take the call."

Of course he could have. He could have just looked at the ID and ignored it just to make her feel better. Then he could have gone to the bathroom or something to call her back. She would have been none the wiser.

"Jeff. It's fine," she said as she walked up to him and placed a quick kiss on his lips. "I've got one thing I need to do, why don't you go down and get me a large whisky ready?"

He looked at her for a minute as if trying to work out if she was telling the truth before finally nodding his head and letting himself out of the room.

Great. Just great. Things were awkward with Randy, she was avoiding John and now she had to avoid Jeff. What a party this was turning out to be.

Making her mind up, she opened the bottom drawer of her dresser and took out a little box. It was the wrong thing to do, she knew that, but something had to get her through the night. She opened it and her eyes feasted on Columbia's finest. Yes, this would get her by just nicely. She only needed a bit, just a little buzz. Noone would know.

* * *

Randy had been sitting next to Dave for the past half hour and the man was seriously doing his nut it. He'd been bitching about everything but Randy knew it was all because of Rae. Why had he invited him again? Oh, yes. Because he'd thought a party without the option of bending whatever hot ass he wanted over the pool table and banging that shit out would be boring. He'd thought a bit of drama between Dave, Jeff and Rae would entertain him a little. Well, ha fucking ha!

"You and her are just the same, aren't you?"

He frowned at the older guy in irritation then turned back to his drink. He was in no mood for this. Any minute now he would have to look his friend in the eye and explain what that shit upstairs had been about. He had no idea what he'd say.

"You walk around with your fucking delusions of grandeur, like you're God's gift to the world and everyone owes you," Dave slurred. "Well, I got news for you. You ain't shit!"

"Get off you high horse already. It was just one night, get over it. You do that shit yourself all the time," he snapped. "Besides, she's way out of your league."

"You think she's too good for me?!" the animal asked incredulously. "But not too good for you, huh?"

"What?!"

"She's got your initials tattooed on her hooha! I'm not blind. I've seen the two of you together. She whores around in the day then at night crawls into your bed and you hit that dirty shit!" Dave spat out.

His beer went down the wrong way as he turned fully to the other man. Where would he get such a stupid idea? Him and Rae? He'd heard it a million times from John but he tolerated it only because it came from John. Now this guy.... How dare he fucking say that he and Rae had a thing going? So the previous night he'd sort of slept with her. Noone would ever know about that!

"Call yourself a cab and get the fuck out of our house," he snapped.

He was that close to punching the guy's lights out.

"Or what?" Dave spat out.

He cocked his head as his anger blew. Or what?

"You feelin' froggy, Dave?" he growled. "Jump."

* * *

Every year, whenever they could get away, on the day she was born at exactly the minute she was born, Rae and Randy shared a special dance. When they could not be together, he called her, and with their song playing in the background, they shared a dance anyway.

This year, as Rae walked down the stairs AND passed the throng of bodies, she had a feeling things weren't going to go down like that.

The WWE had a supershow that Monday, so many of the wrestlers from all three brands who didn't have commitments had already checked into their hotel in the heart of town. A lot of those had somehow ended up in their house, drinking her booze, eating her food and dancing to her music. A lot of them hadn't been there when she'd gone upstairs with Jeff, and only half an hour ago she would have freaked out at their numbers.

But now she thought it was so awesome.

"Ooh, Mickie," she smiled when she saw the diva, laughing at something Kelly had said to her. "Didn't expect to see you here. Come to take me up on my offer?"

"I've just come to see the whores in their natural habitat," Mickie sneered.

"You just can't stay away from him, can you?" she laughed as she moved her body closer to hers. "He broke your heart yet you still hope he'll change his mind. Randy don't love you, ho. But me, on the other hand... maybe if you showed me what you got we could get a thing going."

"Maybe we should just go. This was a bad idea," Kelly said.

"No. Stay," she said to the blonde. "It a party, even you girls are welcome. Eat, drink and be merry. And if, at some point in the night you feel like getting your freak on, find me."

With that, she squeezed her way past the other wrestlers as she made her way to the lounge. The first person she saw was Jeff standing with his brother, but she just gave him a smile and made her way to the other end of the room where Mark was sitting with Bob and Liz.

"Hey, daddy," she smiled as she dropped herself down next to him and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"Daddy?"

This was the first time she had called him that. It was just too bad she'd said it while she was high as a kite.

"Well, aren't you?" she asked before turning her attention to the Ortons. "What you guys talking about?"

"We were just telling your dad about you and Jeff," Bob explained.

"Oh, yes. Jeff. I was going to tell you about him," she said as she turned back to Mark. "I wanted you to know there is hope for your demon child after all."

"Has he told you about his last girlfriend?"

Aah yes. Beth. Maybe she should find out what really happened between those two. Everyone else seemed to know.

"Yes," she lied. "Is that a blue hair, daddy?"

"What?"

"Grey hair," she said, correcting herself even though she was still looking at it and it did indeed look blue. "Is it from the stress of running around after me? Poor daddy. Anyone hungry? I wonder if John bought some Doritos. And the dip."

"Are you alright, sweetheart?" Liz asked.

"Of course. But I'm starving, so I'll leave you old people to do whatever it is you guys do at parties," she said as she got up. "Oh, God. That's my song. Excuse me."

Lil' Wayne was rapping in the background, his song aptly named Pussy, Money, Weed. She made her way to the middle of the lounge where a few people were already moving to his beat.

_Want a description? Her body sickenin_

_I can be her prescription, I can be her physician_

_Sexual healing, I can be her religion..._

She moved her body to the beat, her eyes closed as the buzz and the music merged. Everyone else in the room disappeared as she became a one woman show. She could have had a pole and made hundreds of dollars with the moves she was pulling. Her hair covered her face most of the time, but when it didn't, no one could miss the stupid smile on her face.

_See, I know ya'll don't hear me_

_But she does, we does_

_What grown folk do when they had too much _

_to drink_

_and I think we done had too much to drink_

_and...._

_Oh, yes, I love her like_

_Pussy, money weed, Pussy money weed,_

_Pussy, money weed_

* * *

Jeff watched as his girlfriend danced and the sickening feeling increased in the pit of his stomach. She'd intentionally blanked him to sit with her dad and he knew that reason why. Because that bitch had called.

He should never have picked up the phone, but Beth had been his good friend longer that she'd been his girlfriend. That counted for something.

"You should just go and see what she wants," Matt urged. "She could be in trouble."

"She's at the hotel. She'll be alright until tomorrow," he said, his eyes still on the woman doing the incredibly sexy moves to this very indecent song. Was she even aware that everyone had stopped dancing to look at her? Or that her dad was in the room?

"Jeff, I know she's been having problems with Kevin. Maybe she wants to see you about that."

"You've been in touch with her?" he asked, momentarily distracted.

"She's still my friend, Jeff," Matt answered. "She called me the first time he hit her."

"Hit her? Why didn't you tell me this before?"

He couldn't stand those cowards who took their frustration out on defenseless women physically or verbally. Most guys would have gloated at that news, thought how she'd deserved that, but he wasn't most guys.

"I knew you'd feel like you needed to step in," Matt said. "But she needs you right now, so you should go."

"I'm not leaving Rae," he answered. "_She_ needs me."

"You've known her two minutes. I'm sure it won't kill her if you just go and see Beth for a few minutes then come back," Matt urged.

Ignoring his brother, he concentrated a bit more on Rae's movements. The song had changed now to someone singing about his hands in the cookie jar, but she hadn't missed a beat. It was almost as if she couldn't even hear that.

He frowned again as that sick feeling in his stomach intensified.

* * *

He couldn't believe his eyes. What the fuck was she thinking?

"Now you see why I always feel like I have to look out for them?"

Maria was sitting with him across the room, his arm around her as she rested her head against his chest. He'd had no time for anyone else that evening as he'd concentrated on showing Ria a good time. They'd danced a little and talked a lot, and the more he'd found out about her the more he'd fallen in love with her. And now this.

"What should we do?" Ria asked.

"Not much we can do to her right now, but we should find her shit and flush it down," he answered. "She's been weird all week and now she's getting high. She's avoided talking about it all weekend, but tomorrow I'm going to force her to talk."

"Come on, then," Ria said as she got up. "Lets find that shit."

As he got up as well, Morrison and Miz rushed in from the bar.

"John, get in there. You friend is going crazy on Dave's ass."

"What?!" John asked as he squeezed past the people in the room entranced by Rae's drug fuelled performance.

"Yeah. I'd have stopped them but I don't want to hurt this pretty face," Miz said in his typical fashion.

John hurried into the bar, and Randy was indeed pounding the shit out off Dave. And everyone else was just watching.

"For fuck's sake!" he shouted, "Help me get him off."

As he tried to get Randy off, it was Jeff who rushed in to help.

"Randy, what the hell are you doing?" John shouted when he finally got his friend off.

His nose was bloody from the good punches Dave had thrown him and he used the back of his hand to wipe it off.

"That big shit had it coming," Randy growled.

"What did he do?" Jeff asked.

It was as if he'd only just noticed Jeff in the room.

"Nothing," he said. "I'm going to get ice or something for my eye. I want him gone by the time I come back."

With that, he left the room, leaving Jeff and John to attend to the drunk man sprawled on the floor.

* * *

It was the largest most beautiful one she'd ever seen. So long, so thick.... she didn't think she could even fit it in her mouth.

"You like that, huh?" Morrison smirked as he stood over her.

"Dude.... you're awesome," she said in complete awe.

"Want to try it?" he asked with a chuckle.

"Oh, yes. Give it to me, daddy," she said eagerly as she moved closer to the man who held what she wanted the most at that point in time.

The kitchen door open but she didn't even hear it. Her eyes were still fixed on the Shaman of Sexy's generous offerings.

"Rae?! What are you doing?"

"Shh," she said, a frown marring her face at this unwanted interruption. "Lower your voice. You're in the presence of greatness."

"You heard the girl, Randy," Miz chuckled from his place next to her.

Randy walked slowly to where they were, his head cocked and frowning in confusion until he finally saw what Rae was about to do.

"That is the most disgusting thing I have ever seen," he said as he placed a hand over his mouth. "Who made that?"

In front of him was the most sickening sandwich, if you could call it that. It was filled with all the makings known to men and those he was sure had never been tried between slices of bread before. He made up peanut butter and jam, pickles, plenty of vegetables, mustard, the leftover dinner that his mom had wrapped up for to bring home, cheese, mayonnaise and plenty of other things he couldn't place all stacked in between slice after slice of bread until it made a tower on a plate in front of Morrison.

"I did," John said proudly.

"Why?" he asked, his face still scrunched up.

"We came in here and she was struggling with the knife. I offered her my services, put everything she asked for on it," Morrison explained with a chuckle.

But Rae wasn't paying them any attention. She was still focused on the beautiful sandwich that John had just made her. It had all the colours on it... reds... yellows... greens... browns.... even blues, all swimming around and merging beautifully. How the hell was she going to get that baby down? Maybe if she started with a little bite at the top....

"Don't you dare put your mouth on that thing," Randy shouted as he pulled her away from it and turned her head to face him.

"Have you painted your face?" she asked, a little smile forming on her lips as her finger touched the blood running down from his nose. "It looks so pretty."

He frowned as realisation hit him and he looked her in the eyes.

"Fuck, Rae! Why?" he shouted as he shook her a bit. "Why would you do something as stupid as this?"

"Chill out, Randy. Have a bite of my sandwich or something," she said as she turned from him to sit back next to Miz at the table.

"Did you give it to her?" he angrily asked the other men.

"No," they said in unison.

"She was like this when we came in here," Morrison explained.

"Hmm?" she asked, turning to Miz as if he'd just spoken to her. "You wanna come in my what where now?"

Miz chuckled again.

"I like her," he said.

"This isn't funny," Randy snapped before turning his friend in her chair to face him. "Why? What's stressed you that much you felt you needed to do this shit?"

The last time he'd seen her like this was after they had buried her mother. It had been a hard time for all of them, but he had rode her ass about that shit even then.

"Relax," she said as she brushed his hand away. "It's an awesome party, go out there and enjoy yourself."

"I'm telling your dad," he muttered as he turned away from her. He was too angry to deal with her himself.

"Ooooh," Miz teased. "Your best friend got high and now you're going to call her dad to tattle? She won't like that."

"What is he going to do, anyway? Crash her party and tell her off?" Morrison asked.

"He doesn't need to crash. He's here already."

"Where?"

"Sitting with my mum and dad."

"If he was, he ain't there now. I saw Taker sitting with them," Miz said.

"Yeah. That's her dad," Randy said as he left the room.

The two men left looked at each other and then at Rae as Randy's revelation sank in.

"Get rid of that disgusting sandwich," Miz said as he jumped out of his chair so they could be as far away from Rae as possible when the Dead Man made his appearance.

* * *

Jeff made to pass Randy on his way to the kitchen to find Rae, but the other man's hand stopped him.

"This is all your fault," the angry man growled. "I don't give a shit what you do in your time, but when you do that shit with her, you mess with me."

"I don't do that stuff," he snapped as he pulled his arm away.

"She wasn't like this before you came in the picture."

"Are you sure?"

The little look that passed the other man's face told him he wasn't so sure.

"Party's over," Randy growled instead of answering. "Get your shit and leave our house."

"I will only leave when Rae asks me to," he said as he walked past him.

It was only when he got into the kitchen and Miz and Morrison almost knocked him down in their haste to escape that he realised he would indeed have to go. If Randy had thought he had put her up to this, there was no telling what everyone else would say.

She was sitting with a big bag of Doritos in front of her, laughing to herself.

"Rae?"

"Jeff," she said, smiling as she motioned him over. "It's a great party, isn't it?"

"Yeah," he lied. "But I'm going to have to go soon."

He watched as the smile disappeared from her face and she turned back to her chips.

"Back to your hotel?"

"Yeah. But I'll be back in the morning, I promise."

"It's alright, Jeff. I'll see you in the morning then," she said with a smile he could totally see through.

"I'll leave your presents on your bed so you can open them when you go to sleep."

She smiled again and nodded. He really wished he could stay with her right now but something was going on inside her that he couldn't help. Doing what she had done had obviously been a cry for help, but maybe if he left her in Randy's hands while she was like this, she would open up to him. If he stayed, he'd only feel the need to protect her, to keep her away from the people who loved her the most when they tried to force her to let them in. That wouldn't help her situation at all.

"I will be back, Rae," he assured her as he lifted her face up gently by her chin to face him.

"I know," she smiled.

As he dropped a kiss on her lips, he couldn't help feeling that something had gone very, very wrong. Would she still be his girlfriend by the time the sun rose tomorrow?

"Jeff, I'm going to have to ask you to leave. My daughter and I need to talk."

He released her at the Dead Man's command and gave her a little smile before turning from her. Taker looked extremely pissed, he hoped that he would look beyond this night to realise that something was really wrong with his daughter.

With a nod in the man's direction, he let himself out of the kitchen.

* * *

"We can clean all of this up tomorrow," John said as he came back into the lounge from showing the last few people out and sat down next to Maria.

"What a party, hey?" Maria sighed. "What time is it, anyway."

"Um... ten forty-five," John replied, then looked over at his friend, sprawled on the chair with a bag of frozen peas on his face.

Ten forty-five. Obviously, Randy and Rae's little special moment wasn't happening this year. Well, there was always next year. What was happening right now was more important than a little dance. And opening a few presents. She could always do that tomorrow.

"They've been in there a long time. What do you think he's saying to her?" Maria asked.

"I hope he's tanning her little butt so I won't have to do it tomorrow," Randy spat out. "Whatever she's going through, she could have come to me. But no, the little bitch decided to get high."

"Maybe because you weren't in such a communicative mood, earlier," Maria said.

"Don't put this on me," he snapped. "Rae knows I'd never shut her out. Whatever I'm going through, however I'm feeling, I always have time for her."

At that moment they heard the kitchen door open and heavy footsteps coming down the hallway. Then through the open door, they saw Taker with his little girl asleep in his arms as he carried her up the stairs.

Then a few minutes later, he came back down and stood by the doorway.

"She's hiding something from me," he stated. "I'll be back tomorrow to talk to her. I didn't get anything out of her but something is really wrong. If I hadn't seen the sad look in her eyes I would have whipped her behind for touching that stuff."

"She's been like this all week, keeping secrets and stuff," John said.

"And when she came to spend some time with the family, I could feel something was wrong," Taker added. "Tomorrow, just after breakfast. I'll get to the bottom of it then. Goodnight, boys. And you, Maria."

"I guess we'll know tomorrow, then," John said when Taker was gone.

Maria let out a little yawn.

"Let me show you your bed," John said as he got up and pulled Ria up with him. "We can watch a movie or something before you fall asleep."

"Try to get some sleep, Randy," she said softly as she dropped a kiss on her friend's cheek.

When he was finally alone, Randy let out a tired sigh. Whatever was bothering Rae was enough to make her do the one thing he asked her not to. Right in his face as well. He was starting to get the feeling this was something he really, really wouldn't like.

Throwing the peas onto the coffee table, he let himself up so he could make his way up to his friend's room. He'd share her bed just so he could hold her and drive some of the wild thoughts popping into his head away. He had a feeling that after tomorrow, things would never be the same again.

******


	20. Chapter 20

It was just before six o'clock when the need to relieve herself woke her up. The second she opened her eyes, the whole of the previous night flashed before her eyes. Shit! They were all going to kill her, weren't they? Mark, John and Randy.

With a weary sigh, she turned her head to the sleeping man beside her. His heavy arm lay protectively round her but she knew, if he had been awake, it would have been trying its damnedest to squeeze the life out of her. Gently sliding from under it, she quietly made her way to the bathroom.

It was as she was washing her hands and she saw herself in the mirror that it dawned on her. She wasn't going to get out of this one. She couldn't explain what she had done the previous night without explaining everything else. Shit! Shit! Shit! It was too soon. Way too soon. She was supposed to have had a couple of more weeks before dropping the bomb.

With a sigh, she slid down to the bathroom floor. Well, she'd had a good run anyway. It least she could cross out that she'd had a proper relationship. Even if it had lasted all of five days and had consisted of three days apart and two days of hot sex. Way to make a girl feel special, Jeff! Instead of staying with her last night he had run back to his ex. She couldn't deal with bullshit like that right now. What she'd wanted was all of him for a couple of weeks. It hadn't been too much to ask. Just a couple of weeks to get to know him, to find out what made him who he was. Two days had not been even nearly enough for that. She supposed two weeks wouldn't have done it either but at least he would have wined and dined her, taken her out somewhere or whatever it was couples did.

Oh, well. It would soon be time to face the music. She knew Mark would make it a point to return today, she'd avoided answering his questions as best as she could the previous night.

Getting up, she looked down at her attire. She knew Mark wouldn't have taken her clothes off, he was too proper for that, so it meant Randy had before he had joined her in bed. She wore just her little black boy shorts and nothing else.

She re-entered the bedroom and looked over at her sleeping friend. Would he sleep so peacefully again? With another sigh, she walked into the dressing room and pulled the little box that held the contents that had her up Shit Creek in the first place. She had been stupid to do it, stupid to even bring that stuff home. Now she had to flush the stuff down before anyone searched for it and it got her into more trouble.

Box in hand, she decided to use the common bathroom instead. She didn't want Randy waking up and catching her in the act.

But, as she opened the door and saw John with his hand up as he had just been about to knock, she knew she was totally screwed.

"Hey, I was just about to wake you," he said, not a hint of a smile or any warmth in his eyes. "I wanted us to talk before your dad comes."

The box slowly made it to her back, not too quick as she would have drawn attention to it.

"I... I was just going to make some coffee," she lied.

"Got a pot already brewing," he said as he stood aside.

Okay, she was going to make it. All she had to do was slip the box onto the little table right next to her as she followed him, then make some excuse to come back and hide it. She'd have to flush it down another time.

"What's that?"

Her eyes widened in horror as she turned her head to the man sitting up in her bed, half naked.

"Um... morning, Randy," she said with a fake smile.

"What is that?" he repeated slowly.

"Oh, this?" she asked as she took the offending object from behind her back."Nothing, just an old jewellery box that mum left me."

But she knew even as she said the words that he would not buy them. And neither did John because he quickly snatched the box from her hands and opened it.

His dropped jaw told Randy everything he needed to know.

"Fuckin' crazy bitch," Randy spat out as he made to get up from the bed.

"I was going to flush it down...." she started, but her voice trailed off at the angry look in Randy's eyes.

Right. Plan B. Run like a muther fucker.

* * *

She hadn't thought it through, really. Where did someone go in a stolen car with no clothes on? As much as she loved taking her clothes off, walking around in public naked was too much even for her. And she was sure people got arrested for that shit.

If she'd got her car instead, she would have had some clothes in there as her usual escapades normally meant she sometimes had to change her clothes. But Randy's keys had been closer and she was now stuck in his precious H2 with no clothes on.

She should have gone to his parent's house. She even had a few clothes there, but that idea had come to her after about an hour of driving when she was positive they would already have been informed. So where did one go when they were naked? She was glad the Hummer was a big car, it meant most other cars would be too low to see into her cabin. Well, even if they were high in enough like the occasional trucks or buses that she drove past, they wouldn't have been able to see clearly through the tinted windows but she was still feeling a bit self conscious.

Her phone beeped yet again. She'd had to put it on silent because the phone calls hadn't stopped coming. Randy, John, Mark, Ria, even Bob, Liz and Ethan. And of course, Jeff. He'd said he'd drop by in the morning. After spending the night with his Beth, no less. Well, she wasn't in the mood for him. He could just go fuck himself.

But two hours later, when she was low on gas and her stomach was reminding her that she had not eaten since her birthday lunch, she knew she had to stop being childish. She had to call someone. But who?

Parking her car at some old warehouse that didn't look too busy, she picked her phone up and replayed her voice messages.

"_When I get my hands on you I'm going to wring that pretty little neck, understand? And how many times do I have to tell you that you do NOT touch the H2? Bring my fuckin' car back."_

No, no one touched Randy's precious car. That went way up there with doing drugs. Two strikes for her!

"_Rae, get your ass back here this instant. Where are you going to go? You have no fucking clothes on!"_

Dear John. He was probably worrying that she would catch a chill or something and her bits would fall off!

"_You do not want to make me angrier than I already am. Bring your ass back here, NOW."_

Randy again. She wasn't going anywhere near him when he was that angry.

"_Don't make me come after you. I will haul your naked ass out of that car and beat the shit out of you in public. You know I will. Just get back here."_

Randy had threatened her like that a few times in the course of their relationship, but this time she was actually afraid he meant it.

"_Rae, it's your father. You and I need to talk. Come back home, I'm waiting for you."_

Daddy, daddy, daddy. She wasn't going to buy that! She could totally hear the underlying anger in his voice.

"_Rae? I've just had a call from Randy. Where are you? Answer your phone, babes. Please."_

Jeff. The message had been left around eleven, so that meant he had come by first thing like he'd been supposed to. Had he been having too much fun to think about poor old her?

"_Rae, I will say this one last time. Get here, NOW."_

Randy wasn't playing. God, she hated this. She should have just stayed to face the music. How the hell would she tell them the truth now? She would have the right opening for it. The minute she showed her face they would ride her ass about her stupid stunt. Then was she supposed to say, "yeah, sorry about that. It's just that I'm dying."?

"_Okay, sweetheart, I know you're going through something right now. Just come home. Come and talk to me. Maybe I can help."_

John. He probably meant that, but the other guys wouldn't give her a chance.

"_Rachael Calaway, DO NOT make me look for you. I have been waiting for you for hours. If you want to act like a little girl, I will treat you like one. Just come home and talk to me like the adult you are."_

Mark again. She had expected him to have gone by them, but obviously, that wasn't the case.

"_Babes... pick up the phone, please. I need to know that you're alright. I shouldn't have left you last night, I'm sorry. But I thought if I left you with Randy you would finally tell him what's going on. I'm sorry. Come to the hotel, you can hide out here if you want. Please."_

Excuses, excuses. Did he really think she would buy that? He had left her to be with Beth, fullstop.

"_Rachael, dear. Randy has been calling here all morning looking for you. John as well. He mentioned something about you being naked.... Come home, sweetheart. I've got a few of your clothes here. You don't want to be attracting the wrong kind of attention, do you? I'll have some coffee and sandwiches ready for you. We can talk while you eat. I won't tell the boys."_

Yes, Liz would probably be worrying more right now about her naked state and lack of food than what she had done the previous night.

"_Okay, I had time to think about this. I was angry and that probably scared you. But you don't have to run from me sweetheart. I won't hurt you. I just want to talk. Just come back home."_

Said the spider to the fly. She totally saw through that one.

Sighing, she threw the phone onto the passenger list without bothering to listen to the rest of the messages. They would just be the same.

In the end, she chose the easier option; Jeff. He wouldn't ride her as hard as the others would. And at least she had some leverage with him. There was the Beth issue and him actually leaving her the previous night for her. She could just call him to bring her some clothes, hit him up for some money and just go. She didn't owe him anything. She had been stupid anyway, to think their relationship wasn't based on a certain amount of pity.

So she would hit him for some money then lay low until they all left the city. Good plan. She knew eventually she would have to face them, but not today.

"You fucking coward," she muttered to herself.

As she was about to start the engine, she noticed a woman park up then rush out of her car with big shopping bags in her hands. Clothes? There was a God! Maybe she wouldn't have to ask Jeff to bail her out after all.

She beeped the horn, but the woman didn't even turn around. She looked like she was in too much of a hurry. She'd left her engine running and her door wide open and inside she saw a few more bags. Who did that in this day and age?

Making her mind up, she looked around the car park. There were only about four cars there and no one was walking about. There was hardly any traffic on the roads either. She could make it.

She jumped out of the car and took a final look around before making a run for it. All she was doing was borrowing. She would give the woman her address and totally pay her back when she got home. She wasn't stealing, she wasn't a thief. She would just grab some clothes, get dressed and wait for the woman. No biggie.

But as she leaned into the car she saw two little boys, about ten and six, sitting wide eyed in back. They had, obviously, watched the little run she had made to their car.

"I.... I wasn't... I'm not...," she stammered as she quickly took her hand off the bags and tried to cover her privates.

Then to her horror, she saw the younger boy's lip start to quiver. Fuck!

The resulting scream was even louder than she had expected. Shit. She had to get out of there really fast.

"You perverted bitch! Move away from my babies," a voice screamed behind her.

Feeling more horrified, she turned around so she could make a run for her car. But the woman wasn't alone. Right behind her were two big men, dressed all smart in their police uniforms.

"Fuck me!" she swore under her breath.

* * *

"Are you alone?"

"Do you realise how stupid you've made yourself look?" John shouted from the other end of the phone. "How long did you think you were going to last? What, where you going to reduce yourself to actually charging for sex so you could get a bit of food and a place to sleep?"

"That's so low, John," she said wearily. "_Are_ you alone?"

"Is it safe to come home, you mean? Yes. Randy's driving around everywhere looking for you and Taker's gone to see if he can get any information out of Jeff," John said.

"I'm in trouble."

"Geez. I wonder why," he said sarcastically. "Is someone hounding you because you're FUCKING NAKED, by any chance?"

She looked around the cold room at the policemen and women who were laughing and whispering to each other as the blatantly looked at her. Even with the big jacket that someone had _graciously_ provided, she still felt naked.

"Sort of," she replied. "I've been arrested."

"What?!"

"Yeah... um... I'm gonna need you to bail me out," she said.

Strike three. She was out.

The ride home was made in silence. Even when she had been let out, he hadn't said a word. She had actually been hoping he would blow up there and then, when the police actually had her back. But she could tell by the twitching muscle in his jaw that the explosion was being saved for when no one could save her.

The other car wasn't on the driveway so Randy was thankfully still out looking for her. She couldn't have handled both of them at the same time. Especially since his precious car was still at that parking lot. John hadn't trusted her to drive it back home.

"Kitchen," John barked before he got out of the car and slammed the door.

With a defeated sigh, she got out and followed him into the house. There was no escape this time; nowhere to run. It was time to talk. Or shout, whichever John decided to do.

She slowly made her way to the kitchen, trying to find words to explain her actions. Just "I'm dying," wouldn't cut it. By the time she entered the kitchen, he already had a pot of coffee brewing and had taken the makings of a sandwich out. She was starving; night had already fallen, but she didn't think she could handle any food. Her inside were turning and she felt sick.

He placed a sandwich and a cup of coffee in front of her before sitting down opposite her with his own cup.

"Talk," he ordered.

"I.... I'm sorry, John," she started. She couldn't even look him in the eye.

"Is that it?"

She let out a sigh as she toyed with the sandwich on her plate.

"No. I was stupid, I know. It's just that everything was getting on top of me and I wanted one night... just one night where it would all just go away."

"What was getting on top of you?"

"Everything. Jeff. Mark. My new family. Randy. You. The stupid list. Just everything."

"Me? What did I do?"

"I was avoiding you. I didn't want you to make me talk, I didn't want this," she said as she ran her fingers through her hair.

This was too hard. How would she tell him?

"Why?"

She could tell by the sound of his voice that some of his anger had ebbed. Maybe because she looked as pathetic as she sounded.

"Don't make me do this, John," she whispered, finally lifting her head to look into his eyes.

The rest of his anger disappeared and she saw confusion and a bit of fear in his eyes. Dear John. Would he be strong enough this time around to hold Randy up again? Or would this kill him, too? It would probably kill him.

He was at her side in an instant, kneeling in front of her and turning her in her chair to face him.

"Rae?"

"I...."

Her voice trailed off when she noticed how totally freaked out her friend was, like on some level he already knew what she was about to say.

She couldn't do it. She couldn't hurt him.

"I just felt so... alone. It's just hit me all over again that I'm all by myself," she lied again.

Okay, she had to make this really good. She had to give him some sentimental bullshit, the stuff only he would fall for.

"You have your family, Randy has his and between you have so many aunts, uncles and cousins it ain't even funny. That's why I decided to get to know Mark, I thought maybe I could worm my way into his little family. And that's why I decided to get a boyfriend. I just wanted someone who was just mine, someone I could have a future with and maybe fall in love with. Then I could have my own little family. But it wasn't working out like that," she said softly, putting as much raw emotion in her voice as she could.

"Then last night, Randy was being weird and Jeff had a call off Beth and told her he was going to try to get away...."

At least that much was true. And she could see that something she'd said was getting through to him. The fear that had been in his eyes had disappeared.

"I felt like my past was stopping me from having the future I want," she said with a little shrug. "I was just feeling sorry for myself. I mean, who'd want a bitch like me for a long term relationship?"

"Don't talk like that, Rae," John said, tucking a few stray strands behind her ear. "You're beautiful, funny and you got my back like no one else. And I know, once you find the right guy, once you fall in love, you'll be as loyal as they come."

"Yeah, well... forgive me for not sharing your optimism," she grunted.

"I really believe that, Rae," he told her. "And that man... or woman.... will be the luckiest person on earth. You should have come to me last night, before you touched that shit. I'd have told you that."

"I know, but you're... you," she said as she put her palm against his cheek. "You're my friend; you always see the good in me. I don't think I'd have bought anything you would have told me."

His hand covered hers on his face as he let out a little sigh.

"Rae, don't you know by now, that when it comes to you, I never lie," he whispered as he looked into her eyes. "You _are _the most beautiful woman I know. And I'd be lying if I said I don't find it really hard to resist temptation when you come on to me."

"But you _do _resist, John," she smiled sadly.

"Only because I know I'm not what you need."

"Maybe you're what I need right now."

She had no idea what made her say that, but as soon as those words were out of her mouth, she felt they were true. John was exactly what she needed. He was a perfect gentleman and a caring friend. She'd known him for years; she wouldn't have to worry about figuring him out.

Before he could say anything to get out of it, she leaned her face closer to his and took his lips in a sweet little kiss. For once in their long friendship, he didn't pull back.

When she pulled away from him and looked into his eyes, she saw that she should never have worried about that at all. He wanted her. It was written clearly in those brown eyes.

All of a sudden, making love to this man became the single most important thing in her life.

* * *

"I swear, I'm going to kill her," Randy muttered as he let Maria into the house first.

"Maybe you should give her a break," Ria repeated for the millionth time that day. "Something is bothering her, you've got to make her feel like she can talk to you about it."

"She knows that already," he said. "She should have come to me before she decided to do drugs. And to take my car for a joyride."

"Well, if you give her a chance to explain, you two will be friends again in the morning," Ria said confidently.

"Maybe you're right," Randy sighed. "Want a cup of coffee and something to eat? I'm starving. I can drive you to the hotel after. Unless you're spending the night with Cena, again."

"You say that like you think something happened last night," Ria said as she followed him towards the kitchen.

"Don't tell me my boy had a game meltdown again," Randy chuckled.

"He's just being a gentleman. I kinda like it," Ria said. "It's nice to know we can take our time and just enjoy each other, and not feel pressured to have sex. The best relationships start out like that."

But the very next second she wished she could take her words back. Randy had stopped in his tracks, making her bump into his back. When she looked around him to see what had made him stop so suddenly, she felt her heart break.

Right there on the kitchen table, a naked John was making love to Rae.

**AN/ Did anyone expect that? You like? Yo hate? Let me know. And how's Randy going to react to this? And poor Ria? Frankly, I don't know! But I've got a pretty good idea.**

**Thanks for the reviews guys. sailormama, littleone999, cena-holic8, Bingobaby, Neon Love, HardyDXEvolutionChick, VASHORTY, johncena1wifey and of course, Orton Addict, you all rock. Hope you enjoy this one. I'll try to make the next update quicker.**

**Much love.**


	21. Chapter 21

**AN/ Ooh, come on, people... A sex addict getting it right on her first try? Hmm... Sorry, no Ria and Randy in this one. Had to do this quick as I was away from my computer for a while and hadn't done anything. Have to let you know though, as I mentioned at the beginning, that this will not be a long story. She's now down to the last thing on her bucket list. Thanks for the reviews, you all rock. And sorry to all the big Hardy fans. But we have to move on now. JeffRae is done! Maybe.**

* * *

It was John pulling out of her rather than the little shocked gasp that had alerted her that something was wrong. Then when she had turned her head, she had seen both Randy and Ria standing by the door. Ria was understandably hurt and she had kicked herself all night for putting that look in her eyes. The girl had genuinely liked her and she'd just gone ahead and slept with the man she wanted. Some friend she'd turned out to be.

But it was the look in Randy's eyes that had kept her up all night. He'd been extremely hurt and had looked a bit.... heartbroken. She couldn't understand that.

All night that little scene had replayed over and over again in her mind.

John pulling out of her.... the little gasp.... John rushing to cover himself then her as if they still had any dignity left..... the tears in Ria's eyes before she'd turned away and rushed out of the room..... Randy standing there looking at her as if she had just broken his heart..... The cold look he threw to John before the hoarse words escaped his lips....

"Was it worth it, John?"

She had tried to get off the table so she could explain, but Randy had held a hand up and stopped her in her tracks. Then he'd just walked out.

She didn't know what she had expected. A few blows, maybe, a few harsh words. Randy had, after all, been telling John for years how he would rip his head off if he ever gave into temptation. But he'd done nothing, and somehow that had devastated her more. The whole weekend had turned out to be a total cluster fuck and sleeping with John had been the last nail in her coffin.

There was only one thing she could do now.

With a tired sigh, she looked over at the man sleeping next to her. She'd ended up sharing his bed, not because she was horny but because she'd just needed the comfort of a human touch. She knew he hadn't slept much either, it must have been only an hour before that his breathing had slowed and sleep had claimed him. Poor man. She'd managed to ruin his new relationship because of one stupid mistake. How would he explain this to Ria? Knowing him, he probably wouldn't even try even though everyone knew he believed he was head of heels for this girl.

So it was all up to her. Once she told Maria, once she explained her actions, maybe the girl would take him back.

The sick feeling in her stomach, that she now knew was guilt, intensified at the thought of the day ahead of her. It would be the day that changed everything.

With a sigh, she slid out from John's heavy arm. A few presents caught her eye as she got up and she remembered she hadn't opened any of her birthday presents. The last birthday presents she would ever have.

The top one was flat and wrapped in some funky paper, but she knew who it was from straight away. She had seen Matt holding it the night of the ill fated party. She didn't feel like opening it, didn't feel like getting another dose of guilt over her actions. She should have just talked to Jeff and told him how she felt about the whole Beth thing instead of sleeping with the next man who had offered her a bit of relief from the anguish she'd carried with her since her visit to the doctor. Whether Jeff had run off to Beth or not, they had not officially broken up and that meant she was indeed the cheating whore she had warned him she could be.

But after a minute, she found herself slowly peeling the wrapping paper off anyway.

It was a framed portrait of herself, the one he had sketched on their first and only date. She looked so... happy. He'd even captured the sparkle in her eye as she'd looked into his eyes. She knew exactly what she had been thinking, that she couldn't wait to get his clothes off. He'd showed some of that, too. So many emotions, captured by the one man who had witnessed them all and immortalized on a piece of paper. And on the side of it was the most beautiful poem she had ever read. He called it emoetry... emotion in poetry, and he could not have expressed his emotions any clearer or better than he had in that little passage next to her face. He'd called it 'A lot in common.'

The whole poem touched her in a way she had never experienced before, but a few of the phrases really speared her heart.

_You're smart... but still slow... So am I_

_You're waiting... but happy... So am I_

_You're leaving... but staying... So am I_

A tear slid down her cheek as she remembered again how soon she would have to say good bye. She _was_ waiting, waiting to die but when she had been with him she _had_ been happy, despite that annoying little fact. She _was_ leaving, but with his portrait, he had ensured that she would stay. He had expressed what she was feeling in those few words while still letting her know that he was right there with her.

She _was _smart, but when it came to this love thing, she was obviously very slow. Jeff had been nothing but good to her. He had told her from the very first day how she made him feel. He'd never said the word love, obviously it was way too soon for that, but what they had was beautiful. Or had been before she'd fucked it up and slept with her friend. And the bad thing was, this new Rae wouldn't let her keep that fact from Jeff. He deserved nothing but honesty.

"You alright?"

She looked over at the bed and realised John had been watching her all along.

"No," she whispered with a sad little smile. "You and I need to talk. But I need to talk to Randy first."

* * *

Neither Randy or Ria were picking up their phone. She managed to find her room at the hotel but Michelle, whom she was sharing a room with, told her she hadn't come back the previous night. She decided to hang around. Wherever they were, they'd have to come back to get ready for the show that night.

So that meant she had to find Jeff first. When she got that apology out of the way she could find Mark and tell him the truth. Then that would leave Randy, Ria and John. She found the message he had sent her the previous day with his room number then made her way to his floor. But the first people she met by the elevator were Mickie and Kelly.

"I don't think you'll score here, Racheal," Mickie snickered.

Great. Had it been that obvious?

"Eat shit and die, bitch," she muttered before walking past her.

The the divas only laughed. Obviously, whatever little respect she'd had before had been shot to pieces. But she couldn't dwell on that. She had a hard day ahead of her.

Jeff's door was answered at the first knock, but it was clear when the shock registered in his eyes that he hadn't been expecting her at all.

"Rae. I didn't think you'd come."

"We need to talk. Can I come in?"

He stood aside to let her pass, but she still felt as if he didn't really want her there. Well, she wasn't going to take up too much of his time. She was sure once she told him what she had done, he would kick her out, anyway.

"Have you seen Taker yet? He was in here for hours trying to get me to talk," he said as he followed her into the room.

"I'll find him soon. I needed to talk to you first," she said as she turned around to face him. "I wanted to apologise for Saturday. And yesterday. I jumped to a lot of conclusions when I heard you on the phone to Beth so I just took the easy option. I should have said it to your face straight away. I didn't like that you couldn't tell her you were with me, and that you left me to be with her."

"I didn't leave to be with Beth, I left so you could be with your family. I thought you'd tell them what was really going on once they cornered you," he answered. "And I didn't feel it was right to tell Beth about you over the phone."

"Didn't wanna break her heart?" she asked sarcastically.

"No. I just wanted to look her in the eye when I told her I was over her. And when I told her I feel more for you than I ever felt for her."

"But you were in love with her," she stated.

"Yes."

The realisation of his words knocked the wind out of her sails and she had to sit down. He was in love with her? After only a week?

Jeff walked over to the wall by the glass door and casually leaned on it, his hands in his pockets as he looked at her.

"I mean it, Rae," he continued softly. "What you're doing with your list and everything made me realise that life is short and you've got to make each day count."

"You can't be in love with me," she whispered, her hand going to her temple as she thought how her next words were going to affect him.

"Yes, I can. I got into this with my eyes wide open. I wanted to make you feel special so I gave you all that I am, with no reservations. I opened my heart to you. But don't worry, I'm not going to force myself on you or anything. I know with everything you're going through, you're not even thinking like that," he answered. "I just wanted you to know so you learn to trust me."

What had she done?

"So you didn't sleep with Beth?"

"No!" he denied vehemently. "I haven't even seen her yet, she's supposed to be here any minute. It was Matt's bright idea. He thought if he got her to come over, I'd take one look at her and take her back. But I'd never do that, I'd never cheat on you."

She closed her eyes to block the sincere look in his eyes. And so she wouldn't see the hurt in them when she finally told him the truth.

"I cheated on you," she blurted out. "Last night. I saw a lifeline and I took it. I'm sorry."

That was met with a deafening silence that forced her to open her eyes. She swore she could actually see his heart breaking as he looked at her before that closed look finally settled in his eyes. What the fuck had she done? Jeff had been nothing but good to her and she'd fucked everything up.

"Jeff...."

"I cant.... not now," he said hoarsely.

"I didn't mean to hurt you," she said.

"Rae.... Please.... Just go."

With a final look at him, she got up and made her way to the door. As she had predicted, he was kicking her out. And he would probably never speak to her again. She deserved no less. Jeff was too good for her. She should have realised that from the beginning and not got involved with him.

"I'm sorry," she said again before finally walking out of the door.

When she closed it, the tears she had been holding escaped her eyes. She should have explained herself a bit better, she should have fought for him. She should have let him know that she wasn't ready to let go of him. She should have let him know that had she not been dying, she would have easily fallen in love with him, too.

But she couldn't do that. She had to let him go. It hadn't been fair getting into a relationship that had no future in the first place.

********

"Where the hell have you been?"

She couldn't remember how she had ended up knocking on Mark's door. Every step she'd taken away from Jeff's door had brought home certain realisations, the biggest of which was how, after telling everyone the truth, she would have no choice but to carry out her plan. She would have to say goodbye.

Even as Mark ushered her into the room and cursed her out for her actions, her heart broke into a million pieces.

"I've told you over and over again that you don't touch that shit," he continued. "Is it not bad enough that you don't respect yourself?"

She sank into the couch, only half listening as she formed the words she was going to say. The words that were going to change his life.

"So?"

She looked up at him and realised he had just asked her a question.

"Huh?"

"God, you're high now, aren't you?"

"No!" she denied.

"So answer me. What the hell were you thinking?"

She sighed as she ran a hand through her hair. This was it.

"I just wanted to forget.... just for one night," she whispered.

"Forget what?" he asked. "We've all been worried about you. I told you before you can come to me for anything. I can't understand why you would do drugs, not after the last time."

Aah, yes. The last time. Just after her mum's funeral when she had disappeared for days. Mark had actually been the one who had found her and taken her back home. Instead of shouting at her, he had talked to her and got her to open up. He'd also got her to promise she would never touch the stuff again.

"I'm sorry," she said sincerely. "I'm sorry you had to worry about me like this. I'm sorry I disrespected you like that on Saturday. I'm sorry I waited so long to get to know you. I'm sorry for everything, Mark."

"You're going to have to do better than that, Racheal."

She looked up into his eyes and thought how his was the second heart she was going to break that day. It wasn't getting easier at all.

"I wanted to forget, even if only for one night, that I'm dying."

*****

**And so it begins.**


	22. Chapter 22

**So I was checking my mail and thinkin', hmm, that's weird, no response to the new chapter. Then I remembered I hadn't posted the damn thing. And that meant the epilogue of Broken hadn't gone out either. Jack Daniels did me so wrong that night! The reason I didn't notice till now was I've been caught up in a new story, trying to see if I can get something else out there where Jeff finally gets the girl.... Thank you all for your reviews. Special thanks to sailormama, who actually told me about Jeff's emoetry. Yes, it's sad, but I really didn't know!**

**So read and review please. I read this over and wanted it to make me cry but sadly it didn't. I got tired of reworking it. Let me know what you think.**

* * *

He sat on his parents' porch swing, a smoke burning between his fingers, totally forgotten. The previous night kept replaying in his mind as it had all night, even as he'd held Maria as she'd cried herself to sleep.

He blamed himself for the way he was feeling. If he hadn't got her drunk Friday night, she would never have come on to him. He would never have dipped himself into her. And Pandora's Box would never have been opened. He would never have spent the whole Saturday relieving every beautiful time he had made love to her. That had been ten freaking years ago; it shouldn't have come so easily to him! Then, when they had gone shopping, everytime she had modelled those skimpy little clothes and pranced around in her underwear, he would never have started imagining making love to her all over again

Seeing her in Jeff's arms, seeing her face the way it was.... it had put more dirty thoughts in his head. Without even having to close his eyes, he had seen her in his arms instead of Jeff's, heard her moan his name. After that many drinks, before Dave had finally got the better of him, he had even imagined he could taste her skin....

Last night he had felt like he had been shot to pieces. He had only just got his head around her and Jeff, only to have John nail that shit too. John, of all people. What the fuck was he playing at? Since when did he do one nighters? Unless of course it wasn't a one nighter. Shit! He hadn't thought that far. Were they now a couple? Was that what it was?

Maria came out with two mugs of coffee, thankfully disturbing his thoughts. He didn't like where they'd been heading.

"Hey," she said as she handed him a cup and sat down next to him. "Thought you could use that before we head out."

He looked down at the bottles of beer that had accumulated at his feet as he took a sip of the coffee. She was right. He needed to dilute some of the alcohol in his system before his match that night. He was fighting John and he didn't really see that ending well. It would do him no good if he got into trouble for being drunk as well as beating the shit out of John.

"How are you feeling?" he asked her.

He knew she hadn't slept at all. His parents had already gone to sleep when he had led her up to his old room; she hadn't wanted to go back to the hotel in case John followed her there. She hadn't wanted to be alone either so he'd ended up sharing the bed with her all night.

"I'll live," she murmured wryly.

"I still can't believe John would do that."

"To me or to you?"

He looked down at his friend as if she had just asked the most stupid question.

"Come on, Randy. Last night hurt you as much as it hurt me. Any idiot can see that," she explained. "I know you're in love with Rae."

"I'm not in love with her," he denied. "It's just.... it's complicated."

"Well, whatever it is, John knew about it, too. And he still did what he did." Ria stated bitterly as she drained her cup and stood up. "Come on, I need to get my stuff at the hotel before we head for the arena."

He followed her into the house, a frown on his face as he thought over her words. Love? What he was feeling.... it couldn't be explained by that dirty, meaningless little word. But he knew whatever it was had him wishing he had been in John's shoes last night.

* * *

Randy was already waiting by the Gorilla when he got there. He had been dreading this moment the whole day, dreading facing the man who was in love with the woman he had slept with. How would he explain this? For years he had not given into his baser instincts but last night had been different. Rae had been different. He'd sensed so much desperation in her, not sexual desperation, but something more, something stronger. It had scared him. Everything she had done over the weekend had scared him. She had gone to such extremes just to avoid talking to anyone. He had known that meant she was hiding something pretty big.

And then in the morning, when he had seen her crying, seen her shoulders haunch in defeat, she had confirmed it. But she'd said she had to speak to Randy first. He could understand that, Randy was after all the most important person in her life. But the waiting was killing him. After getting Randy's precious car back home, he'd had nothing but time to think and he hadn't liked his thoughts at all. He had been waiting for her to get in touch all day so he could finally know what the hell was going on. He didn't really need to know what the previous night meant for their relationship, he knew they were still friends. He knew it hadn't been the beginning of something. Last night had been what it had been, just a side effect of whatever she was going through. He just wished she would hurry up and talk to him.

Judging from the intense anger coming from the younger man, he guessed she hadn't got around to talking to him yet, either. Did he even realise that the only reason he was so angry was because he was in love with Rae?

"Randy.... I'm sorry," he started when he finally stood next to him.

"It's not me you should be apologising to," Randy snapped without even looking at him.

He could smell the alcohol on him a mile away. It didn't take a genius to figure out what he had been doing all night.

"I know. I'm going to find Ria after the show. She's been ignoring my calls."

"Can you blame her? She was crying all night because of you. You're a lot of things John, but I never took you for stupid."

"I'm sorry," he repeated. "I honestly can't tell you why it happened. I was so angry with her one minute, then the next minute......"

"At this moment in time, I couldn't give a flying fuck. Save your talking for Ria. We have a match on."

Randy's music started playing then, and as John looked on the monitor next to him, he knew that cold, evil look that the Legend Killer wore as he walked down that isle was no joke. It was meant for him. Something told him this match was going to hurt. A lot.

* * *

Rae watched Randy and John's match backstage. She knew she looked like shit; her hair was in an untidy mess on top of her head, she wore no make up and her eyes were red and puffy from crying. But she was sure that was not what the wrestlers in the room with her were snickering about. Obviously, the people who'd been at her party had gossiped like little bitches. She wasn't bothered about that then. She was more worried about the task ahead of her. And still thinking about the broken men she had left at the hotel.

Mark had begged her not to leave him. He'd broken her heart over and over again that afternoon. She'd always seen him as a man who could take whatever crap life threw at him but that afternoon her statement had brought the big man to his knees. She'd seen a grown man cry. Even as he'd held her and told her that they were going to get through this, she had seen the tears he had tried to hold back. She had seen the fear in his eyes. That was when it had all finally hit home. She was really going to die.

She had spent the afternoon in the arms of the man she had come to love very much over time. She realised as well that, that wasn't because of the past few days. Over the years, she had got used to him watching her back. For ten years, he had been there for her, just as he'd said he would, even if he'd only been in the background. She'd just been too stubborn to let go of her anger and let him in. And now it had taken this tragedy to make her admit she had loved him all along.

She'd had to make up a few lies about the treatment, something she had read on the net before she had gone to the hotel. She'd told him that in a week her results from the tests would be back and the doctors would have decided on the best treatment for her. She'd also lied that they had said she would most likely go in for both chemo and radiation treatment so the tumour would shrink enough to allow surgery. She'd felt like a bag of shit for lying, but what other choice had she had? How could she have told him that she had already given up on the fight before it had even started?

He hadn't wanted her to leave his sight. She knew his instincts were to protect his little girl, but they both knew he could not protect her from this. Understandably, he had let Vince know he would not be making an appearance at the arena that night and the next few. He'd even tried to get the next few months off so he could see her through her treatment but she had talked him out of it, told him to take each day as it came. And she was sure she would have to talk Randy and John out of it as well.

Things would change from now on, there was no avoiding that. That was the reason she had wanted to wait as long as she could. The laughter wouldn't come so easy once they all knew and they would all walk around like she was already dead. She hadn't wanted that.

"Hey."

The voice of the man standing next to her brought her out of her reverie.

"Hey, Dave," she sighed.

She was too tired to fight him.

"You alright?"

"I could ask you the same thing," she said as she took in his face. He had a black eye, a bruised nose and a cut lip. "What happened to you?"

"Nothing," he answered quickly before turning his attention back to the screen. "Whoa! That is one angry young man."

She had noticed that Randy seemed to be fighting a lot harder than was necessary. She knew why just as John did.

"Yeah," she sighed.

"Anything to do with why you're standing here looking like someone just died?" he asked. "What's happened, Rae?"

She let out a little laugh at his choice of words. Then from nowhere, they speared her right in the heart, reminded her yet again that this was the beginning of the end.

"I... I'm going to wait by the Gorilla for the match to finish," she said as she looked the Animal in the eye. "You're a good guy, Dave. I'm sorry about how things turned out between us. I'll see you around."

She put the hood of her babydoll jacket up and stuffed her hands into the pockets of her baggy hipster jeans before she slowly started to make her way down. Her head was down so she couldn't see anyone's faces. And most importantly, they couldn't see her tears. But it also meant she couldn't see where she was going. Halfway to her destination she bumped into a hard wall.

"Hey, watch where you're..... Rae?"

She only looked up long enough to see who she'd bumped into, but he had already seen her tears.

"Sorry," she muttered before walking around him

"Rae, wait. Are you alright?"

"Yeah," she said, even though that was obviously a lie.

"It's Jeff, isn't it," Matt asked. "He told me you broke up with him."

"You got what you wanted, Matt," she stated miserably before turning to walk away.

"I thought it was what I wanted. But he's more miserable now than I've ever seen him," Matt said as he fell into step with her. "I thought if I got Beth here he'd realise he was still in love with her, but I was wrong. I shouldn't have interfered and I'm sorry. Please talk to him, Rae. Don't break up with him over this. He's really cut up about it."

Obviously, Jeff hadn't told him the whole story. But why? Was he trying to protect her already shot-to-shit reputation? Or had he been trying to protect himself?

"I can't deal with this right now."

"This is obviously hurting you, too. Please talk to him, Rae."

Boy, did he have the wrong end of the stick! Jeff didn't want her anywhere near him.

"Okay. I'll talk to him later," she lied. "I just have to do a couple of things."

"Thanks, Rae. He's a good guy. Please don't break his heart."

A bit too late for that. But she nodded anyway just to satisfy him before he walked off. She would eventually have to talk to Jeff, but not to make up with him. She had to let him know how much she appreciated what he had done for her.

She got to the position just as Burn In My light started blaring from the speakers signalling the winner of the match. She had to fight the urge to just run again. It wouldn't do her any good, not this time.

When Randy angrily burst through, he stopped in his tracks when he noticed her. For once in her life she couldn't understand what was going through his mind. Besides the anger, she couldn't make anything out in his eyes at all.

"Hi," she started weakly.

"Hi," he replied before he started walking again and shot right past her.

She had to almost run to keep up with his huge strides.

"You can't avoid me forever," she pointed out.

"No, but I can try my best," he muttered.

"Randy, I'm sorry about last night, okay? I know you told me to stay away from your friends, I know I hurt Ria, I didn't mean for that to happen. It's just been a really weird weekend," she said as she followed him down the hallways.

When she got no answer, she tried a different angle.

"I'm sorry I got high. I was just feeling a bit sorry for myself. Jeff was running off to be with Beth, you were acting all weird and John was busy with Ria. And I'm sorry I took your car. I'm sorry I ignored your calls. I'm sorry, okay?"

"We can't do this right now. I need a shower, then I'm going to get Ria out of here. She needs me."

She rushed ahead of him so she could block his path, forcing him to stop and look at her.

"What about me, Randall? I need you, too," she said in a small, pathetic, broken voice.

He must have seen the desperate look in her eyes or noticed the tear streaks on her cheeks because he let out a weary sigh before he took her arm and half pulled half dragged her the rest of the way to his locker room.

"I don't know what's going on with you, Rae," he started as soon as he had closed the door. "And everytime I ask you, all you do is pile on the crap. All the lying, all the avoiding my questions, the getting high, the stash you had in your room.... And the shit you pulled last night.... Do you even understand what you've done? You've cost me two friends."

"It's not that bad....."

"Yes it is," he argued. "You slept with John. The guy's been crazy about you for years. And he doesn't do one night stands. You think you can just fuck him and wake up the next day like nothing's happened? He's going to want a relationship and you're only going to fuck that up, just like you fucked Jeff over by sleeping with John. Did you even think of Jeff last night? What happened to all your relationship bullcrap?"

"I've already talked to Jeff. I told him," she sighed. "And John's not crazy about me."

"Of course he is, only you're too self absorbed to notice that. Whatever you decide to do about him will break his heart one way or another. Then I'll be forced to choose, and stupid old me, I always choose you, don't I? That's one good friend gone. Then there's Ria. She's talking to me now, but how long do you think it will be until she wants to distance herself from all of this bullshit? Friend number two, gone."

"I'll talk to her..."

"Trust me, I don't think she wants to see you right now," he muttered as he pulled his clothes out of his bag.

She sighed as she dropped herself into a chair.

"I'm sorry, Randy. I've done a lot of stupid things before but this weekend... I never meant to hurt anyone."

"You never do."

"You're one to talk. You and I were cut from the same piece, Randy."

"Yeah, but I'd never hurt my friends the way you have done."

"If you just let me explain," she started. "The things I did.... all I managed to do was push you away and I can't stand that. Please don't shut me out."

"I'm not shutting you out," Randy sighed. "I'm pissed off, I just need some time to think. I can't understand why you would hide things from me when I'm your best friend."

"I was just trying to protect you."

"From what?"

She let out a shaky breath. This was it, the moment her friend's life turned upside down.

"Remember when mum got sick? Remember how, when she told us, it was like the whole world just crumbled at our feet? I felt guilty if I so much as smiled at anything, I felt guilty for living," she started. "And then I had to watch her waste away for three years. A lot of times, I used to wish she'd never told me, that she'd let me just wallow in my ignorance for a little while longer. Everyday, with every useless drug she took and every useless chemo session, I died a little bit, too."

She saw the confusion in his eyes, mixed in with a bit of fear as he turned from his clothes to face her. Poor Randy.

"I don't understand.... What does this have to do with your mum?"

A tear escaped as she held his eyes. He was about to die a little bit, too.

"I've got cancer, Randy."

* * *

Randy clutched his chest as his heart felt like it was being diced and ripped out of his chest. His other hand shot out to grab the back of the chair for support so he wouldn't crumple to a heap on the floor. Her revelation had sapped the strength out of his body, rendering his limbs useless. Everything he had been feeling before.... anger, frustration, the unwanted desire to nail his best friend..... It all disappeared when he heard that one little word. Cancer.

Cancer? His Rae? She was his whole reason for living, his yin to her yang. He couldn't be Randy without Rae. Now he had to face the prospect of a whole lifetime without her? Twice he'd had to watch people close to him fight the disease, Greg and Rebecca, and twice the disease had won. How could fate throw this at them a third time? Where would they get the strength to fight it again? And why Rae? Hadn't she had enough heartache in her lifetime?

He slid down to the floor, his hand still over his heart as his emotional turmoil became a physical pain.

"That's what I was trying to protect you from," she whispered as she came to kneel by him.

"Cancer?" he asked in a hoarse whisper, just in case he had heard her wrong.

"Brain tumour," she answered.

His breath caught in his lungs as tears streamed silently down his cheeks. His whole world had just come crashing down at his feet.

"How.... when...?" he stammered.

"I found out three weeks ago. I just couldn't bring myself to tell you," she explained softly. "I wanted to, so bad. I couldn't handle it by myself. That's why I did all the stupid things I did over the weekend. I just wanted as many happy memories with you as possible to take with me."

He pulled her into his lap and held her in a tight embrace at her words.

"Don't say that. I'm not going to lose you. You're not going anywhere," he said through her curtain of hair. "I can't lose you."

She lifted his head up and met his teary eyes with her own.

"Listen to me, baby," she started, her voice below a whisper. "We got dealt a really shitty hand, there's nothing we can do. You need to prepare yourself for the worst."

"No..." he said, his voice broken as he held her eyes.

"We have no choice," she whispered back.

"No," he said again, this time strongly. "We're going to beat this. We'll get the best doctors... the best drugs... I'm not going to lose you, Rae. I can't... "

He buried his face in her hair in another hard embrace, completely missing the guilty look on her face at his words. No, she couldn't die on him. He would have nothing left to live for.


	23. Chapter 23

Rae watched Randy from across the room as he stared blindly ahead of him. She'd had to literally drag him to the shower and leave him under the hot spray for a bit before pulling him out again. He had just stood there and cried. It had been heartbreaking. In all the time they had been friends, he had always been the strong one. Even as a child, he'd been the one to hold her hand through her numerous injuries, the one who'd beat her bullies up for her, the one who never cried. He'd always been her rock. Now he looked so lost.

He was dressed now and was sitting on one of the chairs while she paced the room, brushing away her own tears. Poor man. It would take him a while to get his head around what she had told him; then she knew the questions would come. She would have to put on the best performance of her life.

"I'm going to talk to Vince. I'm taking some time off," he stated lowly.

She didn't try to dissuade him. It was probably for the best, just until he'd had time to digest it. He wouldn't have listened to her anyway if she'd told him he needed to work to keep his mind occupied.

There was a tentative knock on the door and she knew straight away who it was.

"It's open, John," she called out.

She had called him to come to Randy's locker room and sent Ria a text from Randy's phone. She knew she wouldn't come otherwise.

"Hey," she smiled weakly when John poked his head around. "Come in."

She saw the way he looked over at Randy as he walked into the room.

"Rae?" he questioned, coming to stand in front of her. "What's going on?"

She took his hand and led him to the unoccupied chair.

"You need to sit down for this," she said.

As he sat, he looked from her to Randy then back again and she saw the wheels turning in his head. He more than anyone had seen her distress; she knew that was the reason he had given in the night before.

"Last night," she started as she sat next to him, his hand still in hers, "I tried to tell you something but I chickened out, and in doing so cost you your relationship with that incredible girl."

She nodded her head in the direction of the door, where Maria had entered unannounced.

"Don't go," she begged the brunette when she noticed she was about to leave again. "Please."

"Please," Randy repeated in a hoarse whisper.

Maria turned back round at the sound of her friend's voice, a frown on her face as she finally noticed his pain.

"I never meant to hurt you, Maria," she said sincerely. "I was just so desperate that nothing else mattered except hiding the truth. I would have done anything not to have to tell any of you what I'm about to say now."

"What?" John asked, gripping her hand as if he'd already figured it out but was afraid to say it.

She lifted his hand to her lips, holding his eyes as tears started streaming down her face again.

"I'm dying, John."

* * *

Jeff stood outside Vince's office, his hands in his pockets as he leaned against the wall next to the door. He'd been summoned. He didn't know what it was about but he guessed someone had told Vince what had happened at the party and everyone probably thought he had something to do with it. Maybe someone was trying to get him kicked out and thought this was as good a time as any to have him tested. Stupid pricks. He'd been clean for a while now; they wouldn't get rid of him that easily.

Or maybe it was because he'd been completely shit in his match that night. His head hadn't been in it at all. How was it that everyone expected one hundred percent all the time, even when his heart was breaking? He wasn't a freaking machine! The entire match, Rae's words had replayed in his head.

She'd cheated on him. Hell, he'd expected that from the beginning but just not so soon. He had known that eventually she would fall into Randy's bed. He'd known that he never stood a chance. She'd been in love with Randy from the start; he'd been stupid to let his guard down. He lived his life on pure emotion; he should have known there was no such thing as letting her in just a little bit. When he fell, he fell hard. Everyone knew that. Opening the door just a crack had forced a full scale invasion. She had left none of him untouched and he had let it happen.

So could he really blame her for what she had done when he had known it was inevitable?

A crash at the end of the hall caused him to look up and he saw the reason for his pain apologising as he stepped over the cables and tools he had knocked down. Then he saw the completely lost look on the other man's face as he continued towards him, tears falling unchecked down his cheeks as he came to stand next to him. He looked like a completely broken.

He knew then that she had finally told him.

"Hey," he said.

Randy looked up as if only realising there was someone standing next to him. He only managed a little nod of acknowledgement before dropping his eyes to the floor again.

"I'm sorry about Rae."

Randy looked up, a frown on his face.

"You knew?" he asked.

"She passed out on me the day we met," he explained. "She had no choice but to tell me."

"Passed out?"

"Yeah. She wouldn't let me get you, she wanted to find the right time to tell you herself."

The other man's eyes dropped to the floor again. It was obviously hurting him too much to talk about it but he had one more thing he had to get off his chest.

"About last night," he started, "I wanted to hate you so bad but I've had a bit of time to think about it."

"What?" Randy frowned.

"She told me what happened," he explained. "I know you're in love with her, Randy. I know you're what she needs right now. I won't stand in your way."

"What the hell are you talking about, Hardy?" Randy frowned again.

Jeff looked at the younger man and saw the utter confusion in his eyes. He probably wasn't thinking straight. It was understandable, considering what he was going through.

The door opened and he decided to leave it as it was. His assuring Randy that he wouldn't come between them at this time wouldn't mean a damn thing.

"Jeff, you can come in now," Vince said as he opened the door wider. Then he noticed Randy standing there and his demeanor became sympathetic. "Randy... I spoke to Mark earlier. I assume you're here for the same reason?"

Randy just nodded without even looking at him.

"Take the rest of the week off, son. Call me over the weekend so we can come to some sort of formal arrangement," Vince said. "I'm really sorry, Randy."

Randy just nodded again before whispering a small, "Thanks."

He didn't even look up when he asked, "John, too?"

"Yeah," Vince answered, even though he knew he was losing his three crowd pullers.

Randy nodded again before walking away.

Staring at his retreating back, neither Vince nor Jeff had ever seen a more sorry sight.

"She's your girlfriend, isn't she?" Vince asked Jeff as he stood aside to let him in.

"Was," he corrected sadly as he walked into the office.

"Oh. Sorry to hear that. Anyway, I called you down here to discuss your match tonight, but that was before I heard what was going on. News like that about someone you're close to is bound to mess you up. I can't offer you time off, not with Mark, Randy and John out of the picture for a bit, but I do have your renewal contract for you to look over and sign."

* * *

"I'll make you guys something to eat," she said when they walked into their house.

"I couldn't eat anything right now," Randy said sadly, pulling her back into his arms. He hadn't really let go of her since they'd left his locker room. And John hadn't let go of her hand.

John hadn't cried yet, not really, not like Randy. She could tell he was trying to be strong for her. After she'd told him the news, he'd let a few tears fall while he held her tightly in his arms. A quick glance at Randy had revealed that the news had released another uncontrollable dam of tears. Ria had been at his side straight away.

John hadn't said a word. Even when Randy had gone off to find Vince, he'd said nothing. He'd just held her. The only indication she'd had of how hurt he was, was how tight he'd held her, and the slight tremble she felt through his body as he tried to hold it all in. He would break down eventually, she knew that. But it was just like John to want to be strong for everyone first. Ria had had no such problem. For that moment, something as small as sleeping with the man she was in love with wasn't important at all. She'd sat next to John and held them both, bawling her eyes out, hurting for her friends.

"Me either," John agreed as he dropped the car keys on the table.

"Ok. Beer and a movie in bed then?"

They both nodded their heads and she freed herself from the protective arm around her.

"You guys pick the movie, I'll be up in a minute with the beer," she told them.

The truth was she just needed a bit of space. She'd had nothing but death on her mind that day and looking at her friends' faces was just breaking her heart. It would be a while before they got used to it, a while before she saw anything resembling a smile on their faces. It got her wishing she hadn't messed things up with Jeff. At least then she would have had some sort of normality in her life, if you could call Jeff normal.

Her phone buzzed and for a second, she thought it was Jeff. Maybe if they talked, really talked, he would overlook her little indiscretion and they could start over and this time just as friends. She needed him so badly, needed him to take her mind off everything.

But it was a message from Mark, letting her know he would be with them for breakfast. They had agreed he would stay a few days. With the three of them walking around like they were already in mourning, she didn't know how she would get through that. That and the fact that she still had to face Randy's family....

Jeff would have helped her through that....

On an impulse, she took her phone out again and quickly sent a simple text before her guts deserted her.

_I'm so sorry Jeff. Please forgive me. Can we still be friends?_

Would he read between the lines and realise she needed him? She hoped so.

"Rae?"

She turned round to smile at Randy.

"I've got the beer," she said as she picked the two six packs up.

In her room, she knew the men didn't even know what the hell was going on in the movie. She lay between them, secured with Randy's arm round her shoulders and John's round her stomach. Her eyes were on the screen, but their eyes were on her. Every once in a while, one of them would run a finger down cheek or play with a lock of her hair in silence. And every once in a while they would both wipe the tears from their cheeks. None of them said a word.

Wryly, she thought how they probably wouldn't mind the stuff they'd flushed down the toilet right about now.

Her phone buzzed and she had to move John's hand a bit to get to it. A sad smile formed on her lips when she read the message.

_Yes, friends. You know where to find me if you ever need to talk._

She should have known he would never have shut her out, just as he hadn't shut Beth out. He was a good man.

* * *

**AN: Not much happening there but will post the next chapter soon. I already have it, am actually working on chapter 25. What can I say, when it's flowing, it's flowing! Am just keeping it a while in case I have to change things, what with the end coming soon and all.... yeah, the end.**

**Thanks for the reviews, guys. PepaMynt, written heroin... lol, I like that. Thanks. Hope I won't disappoint. The Batista thing, what can I say... he's just started pissing me off everytime I see him on the screen that I can't just do anything good with him. He was actually supposed to be her friend by now, but I just can't do it!**

**Orton Addict, thanks as always. Am glad you thought the ending of Broken was alright. littleone999, Bingobaby, LinKiePu, hotpocketbandit,Angelus242, Cenaholic8. berrycharismatic, sailormama thank you. I do this for you.**

**Much love,**

**Baybie.**


	24. Chapter 24

**AN: Okay, you twisted my arm... go on, have another one! Be kind and review both of the chapters, though.**

She'd been up for hours, having escaped her bedroom the minute both Randy and John had fallen asleep, when Mark rang their doorbell. He looked like he hadn't slept all night either. He followed her silently to the kitchen where she offered him a strong cup of coffee before sitting across him at the table with her own.

"How are the boys?" he asked softly.

"Devastated. I don't know how they're going to get through this, Mark," she replied sadly.

He put his hand over hers and squeezed it gently.

"They will. We all will," he assured her.

She didn't know how far true that was. She knew if the shoe had been on the other foot, if she was losing one of them, she would never recover at all.

After making some breakfast, she left Mark to go and wake the boys. Before she could go up the stairs, the doorbell rang.

Who the hell would be visiting at six in the bloody morning? She would just have to tell them to come back another day. She and the boys had a lot of talking to do.

"Maria!" she exclaimed when she opened the door. "Um... hi. Come in."

The other woman looked like she'd battled with herself to bring herself to their door. Could this mean she stood a chance in earning this girl's forgiveness?

"Um... how's Randy?"

Obviously not. She'd only come to check on her friend.

"He's still sleeping. I was about to go and wake them up for breakfast. Come and sit down," she said as she led her into the den.

"I've got a pot of coffee on....."

"I'm fine.... I'm not stopping long, I just.... I wanted to see Randy before I catch the plane."

Rae bit her lip and sat on the chair opposite.

"Ria.... I'm really sorry," she started. "You and I... we clicked and I messed that up. I never meant to; you've got to believe me. I've been trying to deal with this by myself for weeks, then that night John made me feel so safe. He wouldn't have slept with me if I hadn't scared him so much. He's a good guy, Ria. You know that. And with this out in the open now, he's going to need you so much. He hasn't even cried yet because he feels like he has to be strong for me. And knowing him, he'll probably feel too guilty to try and work things out with you, to try and find a little bit of happiness while I'm suffering. You need to let him know it's okay. It's okay to cry, okay to laugh and smile."

"He hurt me, Rae. Both of you did," Maria whispered. "I'm hurting for you, I really am, but I don't know if I could forgive him."

"He's in love with you, Ria. What happened was entirely my fault. If you want to hate anyone, hate me. John needs you," she pleaded. "_I_ need you. I know you think I'm being selfish and haven't thought about your feelings at all but I have. You love him, too. This wouldn't have hurt you so much if you didn't. Once you guys talk about this you'll find a way round it. That man upstairs.... he's the sweetest, kindest man I know and he's my good friend. I can't... I can't deal with this knowing I've cost him his happiness."

Mark chose that moment to walk in.

"Hey, Maria," he smiled sadly when he saw her. "You're just in time for breakfast."

Rae looked at the other girl, pleading with her to stay. She didn't even realise she'd been holding her breath until the brunette gave her a little nod.

"Thanks," she whispered.

"Come through to the kitchen, then," Mark said as he helped her up. "Rae was just going to wake the boys."

She watched as the two left the room and hoped that John wouldn't be a dick and not talk to the girl. With a weary sigh, she got up so she could get the boys up and get on with the day. Which, at that moment, seemed like it would stretch forever.

* * *

She shook John gently but he woke up with a start anyway, indicating he hadn't had a restful sleep.

"Hey," she smiled at him. "Breakfast is ready."

"You didn't have to do that," he said as he sat up and stretched. "I was going to do it while you put your feet up."

"Yeah? Are you going to do that every single day?" she chuckled.

"If I have to," he answered seriously.

"Does that mean you won't even consider talking to Ria?" she asked, the smile leaving her face.

"I can't think about that now," he replied.

She let out a sigh and took his friend's hand.

"John, you're trying to be strong for me, I get that," she said, "but you need her. She'll help you get through this."

John pinched the bridge of his nose and shook his head as he got off the bed. He was dressed in just his shorts, and as he walked to look out the French doors to the back yard, she could see by his tense shoulders that he didn't even want to talk about it. Slowly she walked to stand behind him.

"Don't feel guilty about falling in love right now, John," she whispered as she put her arms around his naked torso and kissed his back. "If you have a chance at any sort of happiness, take it. Live your life, John. Live it for me."

She felt him shake and knew he was crying.

"Don't..." he said hoarsely. "I can't think about that right now. I can't think about Ria, not when I might be losing you."

She held him tighter. No, now probably wasn't the best time for him to think about it. He was still in shock.

"You don't have to speak to her about it today, but she's downstairs. She's come to see how you guys are doing. Don't shut her out," she told him softly as she gave him a final squeeze and walked back to the bed.

Randy's eyes were open, trained on both her and John. She smiled down at him as she dropped herself down next to him.

"Morning, gorgeous," she smiled down at him. "Ready for breakfast?"

He shook his head and pulled her into his arms.

"You need to eat something," she urged.

"Lets go and see Dr. Harvey," he said instead. "I need to know everything. I need to know what we should do. I don't know much about this type of cancer but I know we need to move fast."

Shit! Obviously, his shock was wearing off and he was starting to think straight again.

"I'll... I'll make an appointment," she lied. "But come down and have a cup of coffee or something. Ria and Mark are here."

He looked down into her eyes when she mentioned that.

"Have you spoken to her? You know... about the other night?" he asked, nodding in John's direction. "She'll understand, now that... you know...."

"I spoke to her. I still have a long way to go before I earn her forgiveness, though," she sighed. "The question is do _you _forgive me? I really didn't mean to hurt anyone."

He kissed the top of her head and squeezed her.

"I understand your motivations. You're scared, you did what you had to do to try and keep this to yourself a bit longer," he murmured sadly.

"That doesn't answer her question, though," John said as he turned from the doors to look into his friend's eyes.

Rae didn't miss the slight coldness in Randy's eyes as he held John's gaze.

"Rae knows I'd forgive her anything," he bit out.

Rae closed her eyes for a second at his words. She was the cause of this rift between the good friends and she hated that. Randy _would _forgive her anything, but John... he had a long way to go. She couldn't say she understood why. If John understood what happened had only been a one off, why couldn't Randy let it go?

When she thought about it, a lot of the things he had done the past weekend hadn't made sense. What was going on in his head?

"Ria and Mark are waiting," she said as she got off the bed. "I'm giving you five minutes before I throw your food in the bin."

They'd have to sort this some other time.

* * *

She felt like they were suffocating her. Every move she made someone was watching. Anything she tried to do she was told to sit down and put her feet up. Everytime she turned a corner, someone was waiting to put their arms around her. They meant no harm, they were hurting, she knew that. But it was like she was already dead. With their long faces and hardly a word spoken between them, she saw death everywhere.

And even though there was so much tension between them, so much bad blood over the events of the weekend, none of them said a word out of place. They were all pussy footing around her and each other. John hadn't spoken to Ria yet except for a few polite words here and there. And even if he'd wanted to, Ria had hardly left Randy's side. Since Randy hadn't left _her_ side, that meant the two of them had been in her shadow all day. Mark had used his nervous energy more productively, making them food every now and then and tidying up after them, but there was only so much food one could eat, and only so much dust one could polish off.

The last straw came when they were sitting in the game room listening to some music. She'd chosen to sit on the floor right by the stereo just so none of them would sit by her. She wasn't being nasty, she'd just wanted a bit of space. Only it had worked out that she'd then had to sit facing them.

And her music choice didn't help. She'd found a collection that John had bought called Midnight Soul of various old school artists and thought it would be cool to listen to some classic make-out music. But it hadn't worked out like that.

Like when Kelly Price sang,

_She was a friend of mine, she left with my man_

_She lied, cheated, took all I had._

_She was a friend of mine; she used what she knew,_

_She lied, cheated, and left me confused._

Her eyes had immediately flown to Ria's and she'd realised the lyrics hadn't gone unnoticed by the brunette. She'd seen the flash of pain as the girl looked down and realised she had done more damage than she'd originally thought. Would Ria ever get over this? Even with her gone, would she use this to keep herself from the man she loved and who loved her? Because John did love her, she knew that for a fact. The way he acted around Ria was different from the way he'd acted around all those other girls he'd claimed to love in the past.

She'd changed the song over quickly only to hear Az Yet's panty wetting harmony.

_Last night, I was inside of you_

_Last night, while making love to you,_

_I saw the sun, the moon, the mountains and the rivers,_

_I saw heaven when I made sweet love to you...._

She'd caught John's eyes then, and for a moment remembered Randy's revelation. Did John really have a thing for her? Was that why that night had been so beautiful? Well, beautiful till it had been interrupted. She had not thought about it at all because the terrible repercussions, but the moments she'd spent in John's arms had surprisingly been almost like being with Jeff. There had been a deep connection. It could have been because they were such good friends. Surely, Randy was wrong. Wasn't he? She'd frowned a little bit as she continued to hold John's gaze, trying to work it out. Then he'd looked away and she'd almost gasped as the truth hit her. It was true...

She'd looked over at Randy and realised he hadn't missed the look that passed between them. When she'd noticed his jaw clenching, she'd quickly changed the music again.

_Have you ever loved somebody so much it makes you cry?_

_Have you ever needed something so bad you can't sleep at night?_

_Have you ever tried to find the words but they don't come out right?_

_Have you ever? Have you ever..._

Her eyes were still on Randy's when this song started playing, and as the lyrics washed over her she thought how once she had felt that way for him. At sixteen, she had thought she had found the real thing...

_Have you ever been in love, __been in love so bad_

_you'd do anything to make them understand?_

_Have you ever had someone, steal your heart away,_

_you'd give anything to make them feel the same?_

_Have you ever searched for words to get you in his heart,_

_but u dont know what to say and you don't know where to start?_

Brandy. That wouldn't do at all. Now wasn't the time to start thinking about those what if's. It was too late.

Breaking the gaze, she quickly skipped the rest of the song.

_I see the questions in your eyes._

_I know what's playing on your mind._

_You can be sure I know my part._

_Coz I, stand beside you through the years, _

_You'll only cry those happy tears._

_And though I make mistakes,_

_I'll never break your heart..._

For some reason, her eyes sought and held Randy's gaze again.

_And I swear, by the moon and the stars in the skies,_

_I'll be there;_

_I swear, like the shadow that's by your side,_

_I'll be there._

_For better or worse, till death do us part,_

_I'll love you with every single beat of my heart,_

_I swear..._

Something inexplicable happened. Her mind's eye actually saw them ten years back, back at that crazy time when she had thought she was in love with him. She hadn't really thought about that in years. She'd thought it was perfect, that they were meant to be. To be with the one person she'd loved and respected her whole life, the one person who knew her so well.... It had been like a dream come true. She had felt so deeply for him, perhaps too deep for a sixteen year old. Her mother, bless her soul, had told her it would pass, and it had. Because hehad broken her heart. Only two weeks, two brief weeks, and he'd already been screwing around.

_I'll give you everything I can,_

_I'll build your dreams with these two hands,_

_We'll have some memories of the hours_

_And when just the two of us are there,_

_You won't have to ask if I still care_

_Coz as the time turns the page, _

_My love won't age at all_

Her breath caught as tears slid unnoticed down her cheeks. That song... it had been their song. How the hell could she have forgotten that? At sixteen she'd had a thing for All-4-One. The night Randy had told her how he'd felt, when he'd made love to her for the first time, that song had been playing in the background...

She tried to look away, but her eyes were trapped in his. Did he remember, too? Had that night been as special to him as it had been to her?

"I can't do this," she choked out as she quickly got to her feet.

"Rae?" Randy called out as he followed at her heels. "Where are you going?"

"I just need some air," she answered without looking back as she picked her car keys off the table.

* * *

That was how she ended up knocking on Jeff's door, freaking out. The whole drive down unwanted images had flashed in her head. Randy smiling down at her and telling her he loved her... Randy looking into her eyes like she was the most beautiful girl in the world.... Randy naked.... Randy telling her they would always be together... She'd tried to squash those images because she knew he was like that with every girl he screwed. She should know, she'd seen him in action enough times. He hadn't really meant those words, not really. That had been The Lady Killer in action. And besides, that had been so long ago. He had moved on very easily and she'd had to force herself to do the same, but she had. The only reason she had thought about it now was because she was dying. It was only to be expected, wasn't it? Wasn't it?

When Jeff's plane took off that evening, she didn't know how long it would be until she saw him again and she really needed the security that his calming presence brought. She didn't know how he would react; she'd cheated on him, after all. He'd said they could be friends but she knew it would be hard for both of them. He'd told her he loved her only to be knocked down. And she'd had to let go of the best sex she'd ever had. If she was honest to herself, it hadn't just been about sex. Jeff had made her feel safe. And even though he'd known from day one about her cancer, not once had he acted like she was dying. She needed that right now. And she needed to forget about Randy, to screw her head on straight before she saw him again.

For a moment, she thought about just going back home. It wasn't fair that she was here. What would they talk about? Her cancer? Her impure thoughts about her best friend? Hardly. She didn't think Jeff would appreciate hearing about that last one, and the first one was something she was trying to run away from. So what would they talk about? She knew he would take one look at her and guess that something was wrong and maybe try to get the information out of her. And in her state she would probably break down and tell him that she was thinking of fucking her best friend. Not good. Not good at all. She had to leave.

The door opened and with that, her chance to escape was gone. But one look into Jeff's jade eyes broke her down.

"I'm sorry Jeff," she whispered, the tears streaming down her cheeks.

That was all she needed to say to be taken back into his secure embrace.


	25. Chapter 25

**A:N/ So it's been a long time, I know. What with Christmas and everything.... I was going to give you 5 chapters as a present but I think I'll stick to waiting for feedback for every chapter before I post another. They're up and ready to be posted, though. Here's the next one. Enjoy.**

* * *

Rae pressed the button to call the elevator and adjusted the silk shift that was draped over her shoulders. She was wearing a blue backless, strapless Versace creation that she'd bought for the old Rae, just before that fateful trip to the doctors. She'd bought it to wow her prey, knock their fuckin' socks off before she lured them to her bedroom. Now she needed it only to pick her spirits up. She'd had a week of hell.

She heard a tired sigh behind her and turned back. The three men looked tired and withdrawn; certainly in no mood for a party. But she'd needed to get out of that house, damn it! She'd felt she had to hide her own pain because she couldn't stand to see them hurt anymore. Every look they threw her now killed her a little bit each time. And it hadn't helped that she'd had to tell Randy's family as well. They'd practically been living at their house since, thinking they were helping. Liz had been hit particularly hard as it had brought back the still fresh memories of her dear departed friend. If it had not been for Jeff, she would have given up and just sank into an unfathomable depression days ago.

Seeing Jeff that Tuesday afternoon had really saved her. They hadn't talked much but he'd just held her as they sat on the couch, let her draw on his strength. He hadn't forced her to talk like she'd thought he would. She'd known it had been hard for him; hell, it had been hard for her being that close to him and not being able to really touch him. By then, she'd gone two days without sex and her body was complaining, but for once she'd listened to her head. There could be no more sex with Hardy. He was in love with her, and she'd come to realise she cared for him deeply. It would not be fair to him at all. Especially not that day, when it had been Randy she'd been thinking about.

Now she had gone a record five days without sex. She loved those guys, she really did, but she was getting laid tonight and not even their long faces would stop her. Of course, now that she'd learnt her lesson, a relationship was out of the question. Just one hot, sweaty night was all she needed. It would take her away from all the shit, even if it was only for a few minutes.... or hours.

"What did I say?" she asked, looking at the three of them in turn. "We needed to get out of the house. The atmosphere there is just toxic now; a change of scenery will do us good."

"How can you even be thinking about partying at a time like this?" John asked quietly.

"Because I have no choice," she snapped. "I can either sit at home and wait to die or I can be out here living my life while I still can."

John looked away and she knew she'd hurt him. She hadn't meant to be harsh but they'd had this discussion already. As much as they loved her, there was nothing they could do. They needed to realise that quickly and just let her enjoy them as much as she could.

"Look," she tried again. "Ric is our friend and this is also a hard time for him. Let's show our faces, at the very least."

"You sure this isn't because I cancelled my birthday party tomorrow?" Randy teased with a little hollow smile.

She smiled back without quite looking into his eyes. Everytime she did that these days she saw those cursed images of his body on top of hers... or under.... or behind.... She saw him in everything and it was still freaking her out.

"That, too," she answered as the doors finally opened.

She nudged them to get in before her then pressed the button that would take them downstairs where Ric Flair was hosting his farewell party. They'd flown into Orlando a few hours earlier and arrived at the hotel where she'd booked a couple of rooms for them. For once in her life she'd wished she could just book a room for herself. Being around Randy was driving her crazy, especially the nights when he held her until he fell asleep.

Since that afternoon when she'd run to Jeff, his every touch, however innocent, seemed to burn her. When he held her at night, his arm protectively around her and his face in the crook of her neck, she found herself wishing she could just turn over and take what she needed. Of course, that was only because it had been so long since she'd been fucked. It was just bad timing that she'd started to think about the times they'd been together just when there was nothing she could do about it. Not that she'd want to, of course. Randy was her friend. Sex would only ruin their friendship and she didn't want that. Dying or not, she'd be nothing without him in her life, even if it was just as a friend.

"One night, guys," she said as the doors closed. "That's all I'm asking. Just let me... breath."

Mark put his arm around her and pulled her closer.

"We didn't mean to make this harder for you, baby," he said sadly.

"You're hurting, dad. You're scared. I get that. I am, too. But I'm still here," she said sadly. "Let's just go down there, have a few drinks, loosen up and maybe we'll come up with a way to handle this."

* * *

Jeff looked up from his drink the second she walked through the doors, like his body had some sort of antennae that picked her signals up. She looked incredible, as always, so much so he had to remind himself why he couldn't fight for her. He watched as she scanned the room, knowing she was searching for him.

"You sure about this, man?" Matt asked as his eyes followed his brother's.

"I have no choice, Matt. She needs me."

"I don't know why you didn't tell me all this sooner. I have a feeling things might have turned out differently," Matt said sadly.

He looked briefly at his brother before turning back to watch Rae.

"Even if Beth hadn't come that night, she would have left me anyway," he said sadly.

Her eyes finally met his. He saw them light up considerably as she said a few words to the men she was with before making her way across the room, completely oblivious to all the looks she was getting. His heart almost gave up on him. Damn Orton!

"Hey," he smiled when she stood in front of him.

He gave her a kiss on the cheek when all he really wanted was to feel those lips on his again. These past few days had been really hard, talking to her and texting her when he couldn't be with her the way he wanted. He still didn't know why she had turned to him; he would have thought she'd have found everything she needed in Randy. But he wasn't going to question the gods. He was grateful for whatever scraps were thrown at him, however much it hurt.

"I didn't think I'd make it," she laughed. "I almost had to put a gun to their heads to get them moving. Hey, Matt."

She kissed his brother's cheek in greeting.

"How are you doing?" Matt asked.

"Could be better, but hey...," she smiled sadly. "Anyway, I'm here to tear this mother up. Let's get this party goin'."

* * *

Her first order of business, before she'd even got a drink, had been to have her first dance with the man of the hour. She'd met Ric when he'd been mentoring Randy and they had instantly clicked, maybe because he was just as dirty as she was. It was sad that he was retiring; this business had been his life. He had known nothing else. He told her that he would still be involved, still do appearances here and there and be the face of the WWE whenever needed, but she knew it wouldn't be the same for him.

"I've heard some things," Ric said as he gave her a little twirl to the music. "Where you ever going to tell me?"

"No," she answered truthfully. "I figured the less people I told, the less chances I have of seeing a preview of my funeral everywhere I went. But it didn't work out like that."

"How's Randy?"

"I think he's been praying really hard to take my place," she said sadly. "You'll watch out for him, won't you? I mean, when I'm gone...."

"Rachael, you can't speak like that. If you sound like you've already given up, no wonder those boys look defeated."

"I know. I don't say it to them, they refuse to even think of the possibility that I won't get through this. But I know I can talk to you. You'll look out for them, won't you?"

"I refuse to believe you won't make it either. But if for some reason you're taken away from us, I'll do my best," he assured her sadly as the song came to an end.

"Thanks," she smiled. "Now, if you don't mind, I know it's your party and all and it's not a happy occasion, but I'm getting laid tonight. Excuse me."

* * *

"Did you speak to Dr. Harvey?" Mark asked.

"I couldn't get him but I made an appointment for her for Monday," Randy answered as they looked on at the girl dancing with Ric. "I didn't tell her about it, I'm just going to drag her down there. She's still hiding things from us. I don't know if that's because she's still trying to protect us or she's up to something."

"I think she's up to something," John said. "I can feel it everytime she looks away from me."

"Oh, you know her so well now?" Randy snapped.

"Yes, actually, I do. I don't need to have known her, her whole life to know how her head works," John snapped back.

"Really? Did you know how her head was working when you were screwing her on my kitchen table?"

"Boys," Mark warned.

"No. I've had it with this guy, walking around in my house, sleeping in my bed, eating my fucking food like he's fucking achieving something," Randy continued.

"The only reason you're still mad at me is because you're in love with her," John cut in.

"_You're_ in love with her! I'm only looking out for her. She doesn't need some love sick screw-up chasing her at a time like this."

John only chuckled as he finished his drink.

"As far as I can see, the only love sick one here is you. You can't stand the fact that I touched her because you're afraid it meant something. It did mean something, but not the way you think," John said as he got up from the table. "If I was you, I'd tell Rae how I feel before it's too fuckin' late."

* * *

Mark watched the other man walk off to get himself another drink then looked back at the younger one looking like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders.

"So, when are you going to tell her?" he asked.

The last thing he wanted was to push this punk on his little girl, but it had been written in stone so many years ago. He had known that eventually, the two of them would open their eyes and see what was in front of them, what they had with each other. There was no denying they meant the world to each other; even a blind man could see that! But now, with death on their minds constantly, he was afraid they wouldn't see it at all. Watching Rae as he had the past week, something told him his little girl had already accepted death as her fate and it saddened him to no end. His little girl didn't even want to fight this thing. She hadn't come out and said it out loud, but he knew. Why else would she have tried to make her life a bit better, just after she'd been to the doctors? And for that matter, why else would she have pursued the relationship they had? She had hated him for so long and all of a sudden, she turned around and said she wanted to know him. It had puzzled him a bit until a couple of days ago when he had figured it out. His baby was getting ready to die.

Randy and John had no idea. It was probably inconceivable to them that she would actually want to die. But he knew better. Rae had watched Greg die, watched the damage he had left behind. Then she'd watched her mum die. He had seen from a distance how both Rae and Randy had suffered while she gone through chemo after chemo. His guess was she didn't want any of them to have to watch her die, too. That was why she avoided talking about treatment.... because she wasn't getting any. Only he hadn't worked out what she was going to do instead, how she was planning on avoiding it.

Well, he wasn't about to let that happen. Randy was his only hope.... her only hope. If he opened up to her, told her how he felt, maybe that would be the little push she needed to fight. If that failed, he would take her kicking and screaming all the way to the hospital. No way was he letting his daughter quit.

"What?" Randy frowned.

"When are you going to tell her how you feel?"

"Not you, too!"

"Any fool can see you're in love with her. It's in your eyes, bright as day, everytime you look at her. John is right. If you were sure what happened between them didn't mean anything to her, if you knew it was like all the other men, you wouldn't still be angry."

"What other men?" Randy asked as he looked down into his drink.

Mark chuckled a little bit.

"I know my little girl is no angel, Randy. I blamed you for years for that," he said. "But you're in love with her. And she's in love with you. I don't think she ever stopped."

"What do you mean?" Randy asked, his head snapping back up.

"I remember when she was sixteen, her mum was still grieving and she felt like she couldn't talk to her about it. She came to me. I was shocked because everytime I tried to talk to her back then she'd swear she'd hate me till the day she died, but she had no one else. You broke her heart, boy. Did you know that?"

"I didn't break her heart. She broke mine. I told her how I felt about her and she still made arrangements with the entire football team," Randy said bitterly.

"Was this before or after you started screwing around?"

Randy had no answer to that.

"Look, you two were young. Whatever happened, happened. She cried for weeks over you and I told her to put it behind her and move on, that if it was meant to be it would, eventually. I was actually happy you decided to be just friends because my baby still had a lot of growing up to do. But this is now. You're clearly in love with her. If anything happens.... will you be able to live with yourself if you don't tell her?"

* * *

Randy looked up at Rae as she stood with Jeff, Matt and Punk by the bar, laughing at something one of them had said.

It had been the worst week of his life, there was no doubt about it. She'd avoided talking about treatment and a lot of the times, she avoided him. He couldn't understand that. All he'd wanted to do was hold her, take her pain, but if he so much as took her hand, she quickly pulled away from him. He blamed Hardy for that. Rae had told him that they'd broken up over the whole John issue, but for some reason that freak was still hanging around. All the phone calls, the texts...

_Are you alright, sweetheart? _

_Did you get that sketch, babes?_

_Let's catch a movie or something when I'm off, darlin'._

For fuck's sake, when it was ove_r, it was over!_ Why would she want to keep hanging around Jeff? Couldn't she see that she needed him. not Jeff? And he needed her just as much? There was no need for her to depend on Jeff. And why would she tell Jeff about the cancer before him? Hardy couldn't mean that much to her already, could he?

"Well?"

He looked away from the scene to look at the older man.

"Mark.... I don't know what you're trying to do," he started. "I love your daughter.... I don't know, maybe I'm probably even a little in love with her like all of you keep saying. She's beautiful, she's intelligent, funny and she gets me. She's been the only constant in my life and I depend on her for my happiness, so yeah... maybe I'm in love with her. But she doesn't need that right now."

"Well, she needs something right now," Mark motioned in Rae's direction.

Sure enough, Rae had her hand on Phil's arm and was laughing into his eyes. He knew the signs. That meant Rae had picked her next victim. His jaw clenched as he looked away.

How could she even be thinking of sleeping with someone at a time like this? And Phil? What would that man do for her? Nothing. Did she really need another meaningless roll in the hay right now?

"Seems you're not the only one upset about that," Mark said again.

Looking back, he saw Jeff pull her away from Phil. Whatever he said to her had her sitting down heavily on one of the stools and shaking her head. Then Jeff pointed in his direction and said something that she didn't like, obviously, because she shook her head profusely as she tried to explain.

"Now, I'm guessing here but if you don't say anything, young Jeff there will be the one she'll turn to," Mark whispered. "What is it going to be, Randy? Will you just sit there and let another man sit by her bedside while she goes through this treatment, doing all the things that you should be doing? Or will you get off your ass and tell her how you feel?"

He saw the way Hardy slowly took Rae into his arms before dropping a kiss on her lips. His anger welled up in him and boiled over just as that freak's hand traveled from her butt to cup one of her breast. No. This wouldn't do at all.

* * *

"What are you doing?"

"What?" Rae questioned as she was forced to let go of Phil. "Jeff, what are you doing?"

"You're flirting with him. Right in front of me. Do you know how that makes me feel?"

Rae sat with a sigh on one of the stools.

"I'm sorry. I'm not thinking straight. All I know is I can't be with you because it's just not fair but I need... someone. I need someone to make me forget."

"What about Randy?"

"What?"

"You and him... how could you even flirt with Phil when Randy is watching you like that? Do you guys have an open relationship or something?"

"Me and Randy?! No! What would give you such an idea?"

Jeff frowned a little as a few questions started whirling in his head.

"When you... when you cheated on me..... Who did you sleep with, Rae?"

She looked away from him and bit her lip.

"John," she answered.

"John? Why would you....?"

He stopped his questions as another thought entered his mind. She wasn't with Randy, the one he knew loved her beyond all others. Did that mean he still stood a chance? And if he did, did he really want it, knowing it would end no other way?

He found that he did. Very, very much. But it was too late now. Had he known it was John she'd been with from the beginning, he would never have let her go. He would have fought for her. They would still be together now. But he'd had time away from her to think about how he felt. Yes, he had fallen in love with her after only a week and after another week or so with her, even Randy wouldn't have been able to stop him from fighting for her. Even knowing what he did, that she was in love with Randy, too, he would still have been selfish enough to want her for himself. And that wasn't what she needed right now.

"So, are you with John, now?"

"No!" she denied, shaking her head profusely. "He was there when I needed him and I took advantage of that. He should be with Ria now but I messed that up for him, just like I messed up with you."

"How did Randy feel about that?"

"He's still not talking to John. I don't get it. Ria's spoken to him a few times now and she's the one we screwed."

"Did you stop to think that maybe you screwed him, too?" he asked softly. "I mean, think about it. The guy was okay with me when he thought I was just a one night stand. The moment he realised you wanted something more, he started to hate me. Maybe when he found out about you and John he started thinking you want something serious with him, too. Now he hates John, his best friend, for it. He's jealous."

He watched her think over his words for a moment before shaking her head.

"No. He can't be... I mean.... if he was jealous, he'd hate everyone else I've been with."

"Noone else has been a threat."

"You're trippin' Hardy. Randy doesn't feel that way about me."

"Sure? Then he won't mind if I do this?"

Before she knew what was happening, he pulled her up slowly to stand in front of him before placing a kiss on her lips. One kiss, that's all he needed. A part of him knew that it would not be long until she realised his words as truth so this kiss was bittersweet. It was closure.

As always, the moment his lips touched hers, she was his for the taking. Her body moulded into his like it was meant to be.... but it wasn't and he knew that. He cupped her breast as he deepened the kiss and a low moan escaped from deep within him. If only they weren't in this crowded room... he would have just dipped himself in her, one last time.... But he knew he would never do that again. She belonged to another.

And sure enough, before he'd even had enough of her sweet lips, he was roughly pulled away. His eyes clashed instantly with The Legend Killer's. With no words spoken, he was told to back the fuck off.

"Randy?" Rae questioned, still dazed by the kiss and obviously more confused about the interruption because of the words he had spoken earlier.

"We need to talk," Randy bit out.

Rae threw him a little look and he thought he saw something flash in her eyes. Hope? Fear?

"Please," Randy whispered.

With a little nod, she looked away from him to Randy's eyes before walking ahead. Before Randy turned to follow her, he threw him another look. This one told him to keep the fuck away from his woman.

With a sigh, he watched as the two of them walked out of the function room. This was it. The end of a chapter. And the beginning of a new one.

* * *

"You think this is it?" Maria asked.

"Yeah," John said as he turned away from the retreating couple to look at the brunette in front of him.

"I'm glad. She's going to need him a lot, what with the treatment and all."

They stood in an awkward silence as John finished his umpteenth drink, oblivious to the party that was in full swing all around them.

"I never meant to hurt you," John said finally, looking into his empty glass.

"Let's not do this now," Ria said, turning away from him as if she really didn't want to know.

"I was scared," he continued, ignoring her plea. "She was telling me all these things which I knew were crap because I've known her so long, but something in her eyes.... it scared me, Ria. It was like I knew without her having to say anything and I would have done anything just so she wouldn't have to tell me.... just so we could pretend for a little while longer."

"John..."

"I don't know how to deal with it," he cut in. "She's become my family and I can't... I can't lose her. You told me before that party to loosen up, to stop 'daddying' them... but it's worked both ways, Ria. I couldn't tell you how often she's had my back, how often she's helped me through so many difficult situations. She's the one who's helped me screw my head on tight and it scares me that she might not be there in my future...."

"I know, John," she whispered as she put a hand on his arm.

"I really didn't mean to hurt you," he said again, finally looking up into her eyes, not caring if she saw the tears that were threatening to fall. "Please.... help me."

* * *

**Anyone think any WWE employees read stuff from here? It was freaky about the whole Kane/Rey thing, wasn't it? I'd only read that story a few days before they started it.**

**So much to come, but u will all see anyway that the end is truly coming. She still has to really talk to John, there's the Bucket list she's been keepin secret, the doctor trying to get in touch.... oh, somehow Dave mysteriously 'disappeared' the five chapters....**

**Anyway, shout outs to all my reviewers. Have my baby asleep in my lap so I can't write you all by name. He's a big boy. Will do for next chapter, tho. **

**much love.**


	26. Chapter 26

**A:N/ Thank you for all your reviews for the last chapter. I thought you'd all abandon me after that long wait. I think this will go to about chapter 32, 33, somewhere there. I'd have posted the new fic by then, I think that's what has me so distracted. **

Randy struggled with the key card, Rae's hand tightly grasped in his as he angrily muttered under his breath.

"What's wrong, baby?"

What was wrong? Where the fuck was he supposed to begin? First, she'd avoided him all week, hadn't even wanted him to touch her. Second, she had been down there looking to get laid, now of all times. How could she even think of that with everything that was going on? So she wanted them to enjoy themselves for one night, she wanted them to forget; but fucking hell, she could be dying. How the fuck was he supposed to forget about that? And third, how the hell could she have kissed that freak? It was over. Finished. Time for that weirdo to fucking move on.

"Why the fuck did you do that?" he snapped, swearing a little bit more when the damn key still wouldn't go in.

"What? Kiss Jeff?"

"You can't be doing that right now! We have too much to worry about without having him hanging around you," he shouted, twirling around to face her.

He saw the way her brows lifted in confusion and swore some more as he turned back to the door. What the hell was he saying? She had every right to kiss whoever she wanted. Why had he dragged her up here? This was a bad idea. Very bad.

"What the hell is the matter with you? It was just a kiss."

"Are you back together? Is that it?" he asked as he turned to her again.

"I don't think so...."

"What kind of shit crazy answer is that? You either are or you aren't. Simple."

Her mouth snapped shut and he swore again as he turned away before he was tempted to say any more. It occurred to him that this was the first time he had raised his voice to her since she had told him about the cancer. Hell, it was the first time he had shown any sort of emotion other than the pain.

"Why?" he heard her ask softly. "Why is it bothering you this much?"

He had no idea. All he knew was he couldn't let her be with someone else. It should have been just him and her, fighting the world together... fighting the damn cancer together.

"Fucking piece of shit!" he swore when the card failed again, and this time he kicked the door for good measure.

He felt her gentle hand cover his own before taking the offending object from him. Then she calmly swiped the card through and the door clicked open easily.

"I must have fixed it when I kicked it," he grumbled as the door swung fully open.

"Okay," Rae said before walking into their shared room.

He stood for a moment in the same spot, trying to calm himself down. The last thing he wanted was to start a fight. He hadn't pulled her away from Hardy just to fight with her. He wanted.... He wanted her. He wanted for her lips to be on his, not that painted freak's. He wanted to lock her away in this room forever, just the two of them, and forget about the world, about their problems.

His eyes followed her as she walked further into the room. At some point in the night, she had lost that shift of hers and now her naked back taunted him. Even the way the silk clung to her curves was driving him crazy, just as she had drove him crazy the past week.

"Well?" she asked as she turned to face him.

Slowly, he walked into the room, his eyes not once leaving her face. What was he going to do now? He'd meant to talk to her, to tell her how he felt, but he had all these doubts floating in his head. What if Mark and John had been talking out of their asses? How the hell did they know that she was in love with him? If she was, he would know about it; he knew her better than anyone else, for fuck's sake! And how could they be sure this burning need in _him_ was love? He was feeling a lot of things in a lot of places; how the hell had they summed it all up already and classed it as love?

So rather than to talk and face rejection, rather than waiting to hear that she didn't feel the same way, he decided he had no need for words. Not yet. He'd show her first..

"Come here," he said, his voice a hoarse whisper.

A confused look still on her face, she did as he'd asked. His eyes still didn't leave hers, even when he reached down for her hand and pulled her against his body.

The second her body touched his, the second his hand snaked round her back and felt her bare flesh, he lost control. His body was letting him know in no uncertain terms how much it craved this touch. It had been too damn long! Ten years too long.

"Randy?" she questioned shakily. "What are you doing?"

"What I should have done a long time ago," he whispered as he brought his head down to hers.

That first touch of her lips.... God, how the hell had he gone without it for so long? He'd kissed her a million times since their relationship, but this time.... this was even better than the night he had got her drunk. The shivers up his spine and the jolt of electricity that shot through every nerve ending in his body fuelled the fire that burned in his loins. Her lips were so soft and inviting. After only a second of contemplation, they opened up to allow him to fully taste her. He deepened the kiss as he held her tighter, his body reacting to hers like he'd never known before. He was sure everyone in the city could hear his heart beating, hear his blood racing through his body. The rush was unbelievable, like he'd tasted a potent drug and become immediately addicted. She tasted so damn good....

Her arms found their way around his neck and he let out a low moan when he realised she would offer no resistance at all. She was giving herself to him. She had to know what this was leading to and yet she let him.... Could that mean Mark had been right, after all? Or was this because she was just so damn horny? Only a few minutes ago she had been ready to let Hardy do her right there in front of everybody.

Slowly, he pulled his lips from hers and looked into her face. Her gorgeous blue eyes were closed but he remembered how they had once looked at him like he was the most perfect man in the whole world, and how he'd been too immature to realise what she'd offered him. If only they could look at him like that again.

Slowly, she opened them and he let out a little, low gasp as he saw that look again. Had it always been there? Had he been too blind to notice it?

"Randy?"

He knew he was confusing her, but he had to be sure. If, for some reason, she called out Jeff's name tonight, he didn't think he'd be able to handle it. He wanted her too much.

"I've been going crazy, Rae.... wanting to kiss you, to touch you in ways I shouldn't," he whispered. "I've never wanted anything so badly, ever. I can't eat, I can't sleep.... I've been remembering how you used to scream my name... how beautiful you looked when you came for me..."

"How you told me you loved me?" she whispered back.

Yes, when he'd promised her the world.... When she'd told him there could never be anyone else for her. Did she remember that, too?

He nodded his head before he took her lips in another scorching kiss.

"I want to make love to you, Rae," he whispered.

Would that freak her out? Would she want to talk first? That was probably what they needed to do, but he couldn't do that, not with the way he was feeling. He just needed to be inside her. Urgently.

He saw a little bit of doubt enter her eyes and decided he'd done enough talking. The last thing he needed right now was to have her think of all the reasons why this couldn't happen. And there were a lot of those.

He found her lips again and this time, his hand travelled up her back to the little hooks that held her dress up around her neck. He undid them expertly in seconds then moved away slightly so the silky material could fall around her feet.

A moan escaped his lips as his eyes took all of her in. She had worn no bra and only a tiny scrap of silk covered her modesty. She was perfect. Of all the women he had fucked, none of them had ever looked as good as Rae did. He had known this as fact for so long, known that no other woman would ever even compare. Noone could be as perfect as his Rae and as she stood in front of him, he finally understood why. It was because he would never feel for any other woman what he felt for Rae.

John was right. He was in love with his best friend.

Of all the things to happen... Why would the Fates make him feel like this now with the cancer hanging over their heads? It would only complicate things. What if she didn't feel the same way, what if his head was just playing tricks on him? And what if she was in love with that freak? Would she sleep with him then run back to make up with Jeff? He didn't think he'd be able to handle that. He couldn't be just another fuck to her. He wanted to mean something....

With a little frown, his eyes mirroring his doubt, he lifted his head to look into her eyes. She bit her bottom lip, not saying anything.... just waiting. Did they really want to go down this road? They weren't teenagers anymore. If they did this, they could never take it back, not this time.

Then Mark's words drifted into his head.

"_If anything happens.... will you be able to live with yourself if you don't tell her?"_

No. No he wouldn't. There was no telling what tomorrow would bring. What they had was tonight... right now. And, even though he felt he couldn't tell her how he felt, not now, he could certainly show her.

His breathing became laboured as the urgency to possess her increased. He would make love to her tonight like no one else, not even Hardy. It would be _his_ name she would scream out, it would be _him_ she would want to be with.

Yes, he would do her so good that she wouldn't even think of another man. She was his. From here on out. Hardy could just go screw himself. Noone was taking her away from him, not while he still had a breath in his body.

Gently, he picked her up and walked bed. He still held her eyes. The look he had known so many years ago was back in her eyes, the same look she had given him when she had told him how much she loved him. He would ask her about it later; ask her if there was any truth in what he saw. They would talk properly and clear the air. But not right now.

Carefully placing her on the bed, he urgently took his own clothes off before laying his body next to hers. The fire was instant and all consuming. All those other times, back when they were only teenagers, immediately paled in comparison. He had never _ever _felt this way before.

* * *

"I'm John mother fuckin' Cena. You don't dictate to me."

"Sir, I'm not trying to dictate to you. I'm merely pointing out that we cannot offer you those services here."

"I paid good money to be here tonight!"

"I'm afraid the fee you paid did not include a private jet to Vegas and some females to accompany you."

He swore as he turned from the balding old man, sipping his beer as he did so. If that bastard wouldn't help him, he'd find someone who could. He felt like he was drowning, sinking in his own sorrow and the only person who could help him had basically told him to fuck off. The way he saw it, his only option now was to find some random broad and go to some place his thoughts wouldn't follow him. It wasn't something he normally did, but he was desperate here.... Shit like that always worked for Randy and Rae, he might as well try it himself.

Someone snickered to his left and he angrily twirled round to face him. What the fuck was so funny?

"You could try catching a taxi to the nearest hole in the wall, maybe you'll save yourself a few bucks," Morrison snickered.

"If you got somethin' to say, say it to my face," he slurred.

"I believe he did actually say it to your face," Miz laughed. "What's the matter with you, John?"

"That man is refusing to comply with a paying customer's wishes," he said angrily. "I should just grab his wrinkly ass and FU him."

"Easy, there, big boy," Morrison said. "You don't want to get sued or nothing like that."

"They can just sue these nuts!" he said loudly, making sure the man behind the counter heard him.

"Dude... you should just go lie down," Miz said as he came to his side.

Lie down? Was this guy crazy? How could he sleep which the thoughts that where whirling in his head?

"Nah, man. I'm good," he mumbled as he snatched his arm from Miz's hold. "I'll just head back and grab a few more beers."

"I think you've had enough, John. Just go up to your room," Morrison put in.

He sneered at that. Did they have any idea what was happening in that room? Randy was probably shooting his second or third load right about now. An interruption would certainly not be welcome.

"I'm going for another drink," he stated firmly, pushing the two men aside as he walked across the lobby.

"John...." Miz started.

"It's okay, guys. He'll be with me."

He froze at the sound of Ria's voice and turned with the other two men to watch as she walked across the floor. What the hell was she doing back here? He'd begged her to help him, poured his heart out, and she'd just left. She'd made it perfectly clear that he would pay for a very long time for the mistake he had made. And in the process, he would face the pain of watching Rae fight her battle all by himself.

"You sure, sweetheart? I mean, I think I'd be more useful to you right now than this lump of flesh," Morrison teased when she finally stood beside them.

"Grow up, Hennigan. Come on, John, we can go to my room," Ria said softly as she took his hand.

He followed her without argument as a little bit of hope flared in his heart. Why was she doing this? He'd had the rest of the week to think over Rae's words and realise she had been right. He did need Ria to help him through this. But half an hour ago she had told him she couldn't be that person. Had she changed her mind?

"I thought you didn't want to see me again," he whispered as he looked down at the little hand that fit so perfectly in his large one.

"I've had a bit of time to think about it," she said quietly. "I understand why you did it but I'm still hurt. I'm going to be here for you because we were good friends before and I don't want to see you hurting. I'll help you, John. I'll help you get through Rae's treatment."

"Thank you," he said quietly as they came to the elevator.

"I have a double room," she continued. "We'll turn the bed into singles and you can go back to your room in the morning."

He smiled sadly as she ushered him into the elevator. Ria was a good person. Even after what he had done, she was still willing to be there for him. He didn't deserve her at all. He knew it was hurting her to be around him but hopefully, they would talk properly and start getting around what he had done. Until then, he was just grateful he had someone to lean on. Rae had been right. Ria would be his strength while he watched his good friend fight for her life.

* * *

"You alright, Mark?"

He looked up from the beer he was nursing to the man who employed him.

"As well as can be expected, I guess," he answered.

He hadn't moved from his spot all night and everyone else had steered clear of him except for Ric and Glen.

"Where is she?" Vince asked quietly as he sat down opposite him.

"She's with Randy."

The three of them had been to see Vince as soon as their plane had landed to formalise their time off. Since Randy hadn't let go of her hand for what seemed like the whole week, she had gone into the office with them and Vince had, had the chance to finally meet Rachael face to face.

"They're really close, aren't they?" Vince said, making more of a statement than asking a question. "I've never seen Randy like this before."

"He probably feels like his heart is being ripped out. He loves her more than his own life. And she loves him more than anyone else... even me," he said sadly.

Vince looked at him like he suddenly had a million more questions to ask. After all, up to a week ago, none of these people even known he had a daughter. But it wasn't his place, and he knew it.

"You can take Compassionate Leave straight away, you know, rather than taking lighter duties until the next Pay Per View."

He chuckled a bit at that.

"Didn't you hear Rachael this afternoon?" he smiled sadly.

She had argued for an entire half hour why he, John and Randy couldn't have all that time off. Her reasons had been sound, mainly the fact that when Rebecca had gone through the same thing, she had found it easier to handle when she didn't have too much free time to think about it. John had given in first because he didn't want to argue with her; then he had agreed to do a couple of shows only because he wanted to play along with whatever she wanted until he found out what she was planning. Because he knew she was planning something; something that would help her avoid getting treatment. She'd been happy enough to let him work the next couple of weeks so that had given him a timeframe. He had, at the most, two weeks to push her into treatment. What she planned after that was still beyond him, even though he had a few disturbing ideas. God help her little behind if what he was thinking was true! But he wouldn't dwell on that right now.

Randy had flat out refused. Even her insistant arguing hadn't swayed him. He hadn't argued; he hadn't raised his voice. Just that one word, "No," had been enough for Vince to take out the Leave papers for him while he and John agreed to work only the main shows until Backlash, which was only two weeks away. He had no idea how she expected him to keep his head in the game while her future was so uncertain.

"Are you flying down to your family from here?" Vince asked after a period of silence when they'd both been observing the people at the party.

"I was thinking of flying them to Rachael's for a little while," he murmured.

Maybe having her little brothers around her would also push her into treatment. She couldn't really want to give up. She was just scared, just as they all were. If she just let them help her, just believe that they could beat this thing.....

"I wish you all the best, Mark," Vince said as he finally got up from his seat. "If you need anything, or if you decide to take the Leave now, just let me know."

"Thank you."

For a while, he watched the men and women who'd gathered around to celebrate the career of a legend and ultimately, to mourn it. He couldn't help wondering if this was a sign. Was his baby going to make it? Would Fate be cruel and only give him these two weeks to be a proper father to his child? Why hadn't he been more forceful over the years and refused to be cast aside? Even though he'd watched over her, had her back, it had only been from a distance.

It had been Randy who had been all the things he should have been; protector, confidant, friend, family; and because of that, it was Randy she needed the most at this time. He had never been more grateful for that little punk's influence in her life as he was now. If anyone could make her get treatment, Randy could. He would make his baby fight. He would be the strength she needed to beat this thing.

Draining his beer, he got up from the table and briefly wondered where John had got to as he gave Ric a little wave and headed out of the room.

Two days. They had two days before Randy took her to her doctor's appointment. He had a feeling a lot of their questions would be answered then, and not just those about the treatment she would get and how bad the tumour was.

Yes, in two days they would all finally know the truth. She couldn't hide it from them much longer.

* * *

**Take a guess. What do you think Rae intends to do? And will it make a difference Mark knowing the truth or not? And will what she has just done with Randy make her want to fight it? Next chapter coming as soon as you let me know what u think.**

**Later.**


	27. Chapter 27

She woke up with a smile still plastered on her face and her body pleasantly sore. She should have been freaked out, really, since she had spent all night breaking all the rules in her book about her relationship with Randy. And because it had been like they'd transported back in time and she'd been in love with him all over again, like she'd never stopped. It had just felt so right. He hadn't been Randy, her friend; he'd been Randy, the man who'd had and kept her heart since she'd been sixteen.

The second he had touched her, all her doubt had flown straight out of her head. To be in his arms just the way she had been dreaming of; to have his lips on hers, just the way she'd imagined... it had blown her mind. And even though she'd known it couldn't happen, she had gone ahead and done it anyway. She had let her best friend, her rock, make love to her.

She knew her bubble would burst soon, that she would have to face reality, but for now she was just happy to be in his arms again.

"Morning, baby," Randy whispered.

She opened her eyes to see him looking down at her as she lay in his arms. Her friend. Her rock. The only man who'd ever shook her world so completely.

"Hey," she smiled.

"How are you feeling?" he asked.

Completely satisfied. She couldn't ever remember a time when she'd ever felt like that. They must have gone through every position in the Karma Sutra and tried a few inventive ones of their own. Gentle, rough... everything. It was like they'd tasted the forbidden fruit and just couldn't stop. She'd touched him everywhere... kissed him everywhere... sucked him everywhere.... She had done all the things she had imagined doing to him over the past week, holding nothing back. And he had matched her appetite perfectly. After the first quick round, without him having to even pull out of her, he had been ready for more. For the first time, she could honestly say she had been very, very satisfied.

"Good. You?"

He gave her one of his panty wetting grins as he dropped a kiss on her waiting lips.

"I don't know... I can't describe it. You were incredible."

"Of course I was," she teased. "How could you expect any less?"

Lying back on his pillow, he pulled her so she was half on top of him. She let out a satisfied sigh as she relieved the previous night.

How the hell had she spent most of her adult life sleeping next to this man without screwing his brains out? He was so thorough, so intense. He'd known just where to touch, just how to kiss her, how to stroke her.... After Jeff, she'd really believed she'd felt it all. She hadn't thought there was anything beyond that mind blowing connection. But she'd been so wrong. What she'd felt when Randy touched her had been a million times stronger.

"What are you thinking?" he asked, his hand lazily stroking her back.

"That I could stay here with you all day," she answered honestly.

"So no regrets?"

She didn't know why she had allowed it to happen. The reason she couldn't be with Jeff was the same reason she couldn't be with Randy. She was dying. It wasn't fair on them. But part of her had wanted to feel like she had ten years ago, just one more time. Part of her had wanted to be with the only man she had ever loved, just one more time. It would make letting go that much harder, but she didn't regret it. Not at all.

For a whole night, his touch had brought her to life; and surprisingly, that feeling hadn't yet faded away. She felt like she was on top of the world, like she could do anything. Even the cancer couldn't bring her down from her high.

"I regret wasting so much time," she answered with a playful smile.

She could still feel the searing heat of his touch on her body. She didn't know what he had done differently; maybe all the years of experience had made both of them better or maybe she'd just been incredibly horny, but last night had been an assault on her senses like she had never known before. Even their two week fuckfest so long ago paled in comparison

But she would soon have to face reality. As good as last night had been, it still didn't change the fact that she would soon have to leave him.

"I have a good feeling about this, Rae. We'll get past this, then you and I will buy that house we always talked about and fill it with our babies."

"Babies? Randy, if I get through this, I'll most probably become infertile," she told him, omitting the fact that she wasn't getting through it at all.

But she could pretend. Just for today, she wouldn't think about it.

"So we'll adopt. As long as I have you, baby, I don't care about anything else."

She looked up into his blue eyes.

"Until the next pretty girl comes along and you just have to have her," she stated.

She still had no idea what was going on in his head. She'd had a lot of doubts, a lot of reasons why she could have just turned him down; least of all that she was dying. What if he was only doing this out of pity? What if, in his mind, he was trying to use sex just to keep her to himself in this difficult time? After all, he'd been jealous of the time she'd spent with Hardy _before _he'd known about the cancer. Maybe he was just being possessive of her, as he'd been a few times in the past.

They hadn't exactly talked about it.

He rolled her over until he'd positioned himself on top of her, his eyes still holding hers.

"This is it for me, Rae. I could never be with someone else, not after last night," he said quietly.

"I can only imagine how many times you've said that line," she chuckled nervously.

"It isn't a line. It's the truth. I'll never feel for anyone what I feel for you."

She sucked in a breath at his words. How could he say this to her now of all times? What good would that do either of them?

"Randy__"

"Don't," he cut in. "Don't tell me you don't feel the same way. I know you, Rae. You can't lie to me."

She looked away from him so she could gather her thoughts. It was all too much, too soon. Or too late.

"Tell me what you're feeling," he begged. "Tell me you felt it too, that feeling that this is so right?"

"I did," she whispered.

"Then that's all I need to know," he told her. "You belong to me, Rae, just like I belong to you."

He kissed her then, and she immediately forgot all the reasons why this was so wrong. Closing her eyes, she let her body take over and prepared herself for the sensory overload that she knew was coming.

His lips trailed down to her breast, teasing her hardened nipples before slowly continuing their trail down her body. As they had done quite a few times the previous night, they stopped at her little tattoo for his tongue to follow the initials. RKO. Who would have guessed that, that tattoo would come to mean more than just a drunken mistake? He had branded her as his so many years ago for it to come true now. She did belong to him. Dying or not, she had no doubts about it now.

Then the lips continued their journey, making her scream out in pleasure when they finally glazed over where she needed them the most. They did everything right, just as they had the previous night; so right she had to grip the sheets beside her as wave after wave washed over her.

But he wasn't finished, and neither was she. Quickly moving up her body, he caught her eyes before slowly sinking into her. She screamed out again as she bucked her hips to take all of him. She clung onto him as he slowly pulled out of her before plunging in again.

"Randy!" she screamed, breathless as he took her closer to another release.

He groaned her name as his movements became more frantic and her legs tightened around his body. This was heaven. This was all the times she'd come combined in one. With a final thrust, he brought her over the edge before immediately following her, his cries mingling with her own as they started to fall from their high peak.

"You belong to me," he repeated breathlessly. "For always."

Still clutching onto him, still trembling and her heart unguarded, she told him the truth.

"For always," she agreed, even though she knew that in her case, always was only a matter of days.

Yes, for today only, she would believe in happily ever after.

* * *

He hadn't meant to look through it, really he hadn't. Rae had given Matt her bag to hold while she'd danced and drank the night away; and after Randy had dragged her away, they'd both decided it was better to wait till the morning to give it back. But he had accidentally knocked Rae's bag from the table where Matt had put it and spilled its contents. And even then, he hadn't meant to look at the stuff as he'd put it back in the bag, but he hadn't been able to help himself. Two bottles of the painkillers.... make up.... her phone, which was blinking with missed calls and messages.... a little address book.... and the famed Bucket List.

He had known what it was because it said it in big red letters at the top. Now he sat on the chair in his hotel room looking down at it, debating with himself whether to read it or not.

"Are you going to do it?"

He looked up at his brother then back at the folded pieces of paper.

"I always thought it would be bigger than this," he said quietly. "She told me she added things on it as she went along. I guess she didn't expect it to become so vital to her so soon. I mean, no one expects to die so young...."

Matt patted him on the back to offer him a bit of comfort.

"I didn't really know her; I mean, one week isn't nearly enough to know everything about a person. Someone's bucket list... that would be the best way to sum someone up, wouldn't it? All the things they really want to do but wouldn't normally get the chance? It's like reading their hearts," he continued. "She never wanted anyone to read this, I guess because she never wanted anyone to know what she had in her heart. I shouldn't read it...."

He looked up at his brother as he said it, looking for the strength to stop himself.

"Maybe you should," Matt said instead. "Read it... laugh... cry, whatever. Then put it back in her bag and move on. Maybe you'll find something in there that will make you see her differently."

"Or something that will make it harder for me to let her go...."

"Either way, it would be closure. You'll know what makes her who she is; you'll love it or hate it, then be strong enough to let her go. You knew she belonged to Orton from the beginning. Remember when I called you after I'd found out, when you were getting ready for your date? You said you didn't want to keep your heart out of the bedroom because she was special. You wanted to love her, to show her what it could be like. And you have. Who knows, maybe it was you who pushed her and Randy together. Face it, bro.... She needs him more than she needs you right now. Let her go."

He looked down at the pieces of paper again, the only thing he had that would bring him closer to Rae... and maybe give him the strength to move on.

Then slowly he unfolded it.

_1)Climb the highest mountain, conquer it. Mum dying wasn't a punishment. She's happy now, with Greg. When I stand at the top I have to let her go. I may stand alone, but I will not be lonely. I have my whole life ahead of me... and Randy._

_2)Bungee jump from a plane. See what it means to be really free, like a bird. Spread my wings._

_3)Get rid of Randy's awful orange shirt.... Let him know it is NOT okay to shop while drunk, and even worse to ask my opinion about it while I'm equally intoxicated. I think he only wears it because of the way I ecstatically ran my hands over it and screamed how much I loved it._

_4)Give to charity. I've been very selfish even though I have been blessed financially. Better yet, start my own, maybe name it 'The Rebecca Taylor Cancer Research Centre' or something like that. Mum would love it. Better to keep track of it myself. Might swindle a few thousand dollars out for Randy to get that going!_

He let out a little smile. Somehow he had expected the list to be fully of wild, crazy things like fly to the moon and get nailed in space, some shit like that; but it was really like Rae's little journal on her road to becoming a better person. No wonder she'd kept it secret.

_5)Learn to say please. And thank you. And all the other shit crazy things like that. Basically, learn to be nice. It's been great being a bitch and all but it's earned me no friends. Maybe Randy will start being nicer, too, so I won't have to suffer with it by myself._

_6)Try and make some friends. It will be hard, I know, I don't really need anyone else besides Randy.... but mum had millions of friends. I should really try to be more like her._

"I'm going to leave you to it, Jeff," Matt said as he grabbed his keys. "Call me later. I can take the bag to her when you're ready, if you want."

He smiled up at his brother.

"I might take it to her myself," he said. "I won't be seeing her much after this, I don't think. I'll just find out if she's happy with Randy... then I'll let her go."

He looked down at the list again. Of course she'd be happy. She might not have realised as she'd wrote the list, but Randy's name was all over it. It told him everything he needed to know.

As he continued to read, he prayed to a God he didn't believe in to spare the life of this young woman who was so desperately trying to be happy.

* * *

"I won't be long," Randy said as he dropped a kiss on her lips."I'm gagging for a smoke and we need to eat. The hundred margaritas you had last night don't count as food. Then when I come back, you and I will talk."

It had occurred to him as he'd got himself dressed that he hadn't really said those three words yet. He planned on fixing that.

"I'm giving you ten minutes," she said as she lazily rolled over to face him, "then your birthday treat will be ready. We can talk after you've unwrapped it...."

She licked her lips as she said this, giving him a pretty good idea what his treat was. Swallowing hard, he followed her hand as it cupped her breast.

"Five minutes," he said hoarsely before his stomach reminded him that he hadn't eaten properly for the whole past week.

He grabbed his key card and wallet before kissing her again. He'd never get tired of that, he thought, as he left the room and headed to the little shop in the lobby.

Everything seemed brighter that morning. He saw Mickie and Kelly heading to the restaurant and even their sour faces didn't dampen his mood. He even wished them a "good morning," as he walked past them and found that he actually meant it this time. And for the first time ever, he asked the man serving behind the counter of the little shop how he was doing and actually listened to the answer.

"New baby? Congratulations, man," he said as he shook the man's hand. "Boy or girl?"

"Girl," he answered with a proud smile on his face as he took a picture out of his wallet."Just last night."

A lump caught in his throat as he briefly remembered what Rae had told him. She would never carry his children in her womb. But it would be okay... once they beat the cancer, they could adopt as many kids as they wanted.

"Do you have any kids?" the man asked.

"No. My girlfriend... she's got cancer. There's a chance the treatment will make her infertile," he answered, his voice tinged with a bit of sadness.

He had no idea why he was opening up to a stranger but for the first time since she told him, he found he could actually talk about it.

"I'm sorry, man. What's her name?"

"Racheal. Rae for short."

"Then I will name my girl Racheal. If you don't mind," the man said.

Shocked and touched at the same time, he looked at the man.

"You'd do that for me? You don't even know me."

"Racheal is a pretty name," the man shrugged with a smile. "When your girlfriend gets better, you can come and visit her namesake anytime."

A big smile forming on his lips, he shook the man's hand. He had said 'when' she got better, not 'if'.

"Thank you. I think that's the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me," he said sincerely.

He asked the man for his number because he meant to take him up on his offer. When all was said and done, when the tumour was gone, he would take Rae to see this man's beautiful girl. When he looked down at the piece of paper, he noticed, ironically, that the man's name was Mark. And now Mark would name his child Racheal. He felt a chill run through him as he thought it was a bad omen... new life for old and all that, but he quickly put it out of his mind. He couldn't concentrate on any negatives.

"Is that a smile? I haven't seen one of those in a while. Watch yourself, Orton, your face might crack!"

He twirled around, his smile getting bigger as he took Maria into a warm hug.

"Hey, beautiful," he said when he finally released her. "I didn't realise you were here."

"Yeah, I sort of figured," Ria chuckled. "You didn't really notice anyone last night except Rae."

He chuckled as he paid his new friend for his cigarettes and stuffed them in his pocket.

"You're a good guy," he told him before taking Ria's little hand in his and giving him a respectful nod as he walked out of the shop.

"You're unnaturally friendly today," Ria teased.

"It must be something I ate," he laughed as he walked with her to the restaurant.

"I'm going to get some food for Rae. Wanna grab a quick coffee while we wait for it?" he asked.

"Sure."

They found a table far away from the other wrestlers and a waiter came to serve them straight away. He ordered a big breakfast for both him and Rae because he didn't think they'd want to worry about food again that day. Even though they room service, he didn't want anyone disturbing them at all, not with the day he had planned.

"So... how you doin'?" he asked when their coffee arrived.

"Alright, I guess. John's in my room, passed out," Ria answered as she stirred her coffee.

John. For some reason, even hearing his name didn't bother him this morning. He felt invigorated, like he was above everything else; like nothing could touch him. He couldn't ever remember feeling this alive and because of this, for the first time that week, he felt a tinge of hope. Surely the Big Guy up there wouldn't take Rae away from him now, not when they'd found this amazing thing they had.

"Got wasted, did he? Figured he would. He'd had at least two drinks before we'd even sat down," he said. "So did you guys talk?"

"Not really. Well, he said some things.... he's really hurting, Randy and for some reason he thinks I can help him."

He covered her hand with his on the table and gave it a gentle squeeze. He knew John was hurting. Even though he was still mad at the guy for even thinking of going that far with Rae; even though he really believed that the guy was crazy about Rae, he knew John wasn't taking this any better than him.

"You _can_ help him," he smiled sadly. "He needs you. I know how hurt you still feel, trust me. But all this shit just made me realise how short life really is. The guy cares about you and he really regrets what he did. Is it going to take another tragedy to make you see that and realise how much time you're wasting? Don't be afraid to show him how you feel. It might be what both of you need to get you through this."

Maria smiled up into his eyes at that.

"I take it this means you've finally got your head screwed on right? Told you, didn't I, that you're in love with her?"

"It's more than love, Ria. It's like I've been dead inside all this time and didn't even realise it. Last night.... everything just fell into place. And this might sound cheesy, but she completes me. I've found my perfect someone and I didn't even realise I was looking. I'm never going to let her go now."

He could see in her eyes when he said that that she thought of the cancer. He knew it wouldn't be up to him if he had to let her go or not, but damn it if he wouldn't die trying. He'd always known he couldn't live without Rae but last night, he had realised that if she died on him, he would die with her.

"I'll be here for you, too, you know," she said softly.

"Thanks, but I'll be fine," he smiled broadly. "Rae and I are going to kick the tumour in the butt then we'll live happily ever after; just like in the movies. Just wait and see."

He saw the look in her eyes just as the waiter brought his bag of food but he didn't dwell on it. He wasn't in denial; he just wasn't going to let anyone bring him down, not now, not today.

"I'll see you later, then, babes. When you kick John out, tell him to go somewhere. If that little punk knocks on our door before I call him, I might just kill him for it," he said as he got up and placed a kiss on her cheek.

"I'll see you before I head out, I've got a present for you."

"You didn't need to do that, Ria."

"You only turn twenty eight once. Besides, with everything going on, I wanted you to know that I'm thinking of you," she smiled up at him.

"You're a good friend," he said sincerely as he gave her another little kiss. "I'm a lucky guy, having you in my life. But if you'll excuse me, there's someone upstairs just gagging for a bit of me! Later, sweetheart."

* * *

Randy's phone rang as he walked through the lobby to the elevator.

"Hey, Tammy. What's up?" he answered with a little frown.

Rae's assistant never really called him unless there was an emergency and she couldn't get in touch with Rae.

"Hi, Randall. Are you with Racheal? I've been trying to get in touch with her since yesterday."

"We're in Orlando for Flair's party," he said as he pressed the button to call the elevator down. "Why? What's happened?"

"Oh, I don't know. I'm just a bit puzzled by some things," she answered. "Her lawyers came to see me yesterday. Apparently, she's going to leave me the whole business in her will and I have to sign some things so they can get things moving. I just got worried, I mean, I know lots of people do their wills and everything but Rae isn't exactly someone who worries about things like that. Is she alright?"

"Um... I'll let her tell you that herself," he replied as the doors opened. "I'll be with her in a few minutes if you want to call back."

"What's going on, Randall?"

"Tammy... It's not my place to say. Just call back, yeah?" he said a bit sadly.

He supposed it was only to be expected. When one faced something like this, they had to make plans like that... just in case. But it still shot him in the heart. He didn't want Rae thinking like she wasn't going to make it because she would. They said third time was a charm; no way would the cancer take someone else close to him, would it?

"Apparently, she wants it done quickly so she can sign whatever she needs to sign before she leaves the country. She isn't doing some other crazy thing on her silly bucket list, is she?" Tammy asked. "Where's she going this time? Iraq? I wish that woman would just tell me what goes on in that head of hers so I can schedule her appointments correctly...."

"Wait. What do you mean she's leaving the country?" he asked, the frown on his face growing.

"Yeah. The lawyers said she needs it finalised by the end of the coming week so she can fly out then. Didn't you know?"

Obviously not. Why would Rae make plans like this without even telling him? Something about it wasn't right. Maybe, like Tammy said, she was doing something on her bucket list. She'd certainly feel like she had to do all of it now, understandably. But maybe not.

"No," he answered as he got out of the elevator. "I'm going to have to get her to call you back, Tammy. Rae and I need to have a long talk first."

He hung up just as he got to the door. He had no doubt Rae would have a perfectly good explanation why she was planning on going away without even telling him anything about it. Especially since she was supposed to be undergoing treatment.

* * *

**A:N/ So Jeff has the Bucket List and it isn't what he expected; Randy knows she's planning on going somewhere; Mark knows she doesn't want to get treated and is flying his family down to make her reconsider without having to physically drag her to the hospital himself.... Who's going to put the pieces together?**

**Maria is now seriously thinking about her relationship with John, who is still quietly having a breakdown. Will he finally talk to Rae about it?**

**And where is Rae going? (you won't see this coming, I swear...)**

**HardyDXEvolutionChick, Bingobaby, Cena-holic8, berrycharismatic, hotpocketbandit, alethea293, nothingsnobody, MiSSYMiSSz, VASHORTYGIRL, Angelus242, littleone999 and Mrs Bass-Malfoy, thank you for the reviews. I hope this year I update faster, don't like keeping you waitin', ya know... I had to rewrite a few chapters that I had waiting so now I feel better about this fic. My new fic is coming on well, I think, but I want to hit the ground running with this as well as post a few one-shots to beef up my writing portfolio. Keep reading and please, if there's something you don't like, don't be afraid to say it. Negative criticism is good criticism, I think. But the good reviews are always orgasmic!**

**Keep rocking. Much love.**

**Baybie.**


	28. Chapter 28

**It's been a while, hasn't it? Sorry about that. As I said in my profile before, the New Year didn't start so well for me. I'll try to update as often as I can but I'm still trying to get back on my feet so I don't know how often that will be. And since I lost the whole of my other story, I've had to start it again and lost interest in it because of that. I've learnt my lesson, though, so I'm making backup copies of everything! Thanks to all who've reviewed. I was surprised that the reviews and alerts kept trickling in.**

**Anyway, enjoy this chapter. Don't know how good it is as I've lost interest in this as well but I just want it done so it can get out of my head.**

* * *

When he opened the door, Rae had her ipod hooked up to some speakers with the volume high as she danced, naked of course, to slow sexy song. Her eyes were closed and she had the biggest smile he'd seen on her face in a long time. He'd put that on her face. She was smiling because of him.

For a moment he forgot about Tammy's phone call as he watched her. How could he be so incredibly lucky and unlucky at the same time? She didn't seem to realise she wasn't alone; she was so lost in her own little world. He put the bags of food down and perched himself on the table by the door so he could savour the moment a bit longer.

She twirled around and did a particularly sexy wiggle of her pert butt that had him biting down on his bottom lip. His eyes roamed her body, from her heels up her long, slender legs, past her gorgeous butt and tiny waist to the tips of her dishevelled golden tresses. How had he looked at her naked all his life and not realised how he felt? How could he have been so blind and wasted so much time? He loved her. With every breath in his body, he loved her. He felt it in the pit of his stomach; it consumed him, burned through every ounce of his being.

She twirled around again and stopped when she saw him and he saw her smile widen even more. He held her eyes for a minute, still biting his bottom lip before he did a slow, deliberate inspection of her body. With every inch of skin that his eyes glazed over, the need in his groin intensified and she knew it. His eyes travelled back to her eyes and the heat in them almost knocked him over. He was sure the heat in his was even stronger.

"Come here," he whispered.

She did as she was told, walking slowly towards him until she stood between his legs. He hissed at the contact as he put one hand on her butt to pull her closer while his other hand gently trailed the side of her face before cupping her chin.

"I'm in love with you, Racheal Taylor Calaway," he said hoarsely. "So in love with you."

Her smile lost some of its shine at his words and something fleeting passed her eyes.

"Really? Aren't you just saying in coz.... you know?" she asked a bit sadly.

"No. I hate the fact that it's taken all this shit to make me see it, but I mean it, baby," he assured her. "You've been with me all my life that I've never had to learn to breathe without you. It's only now that I've realised that I _couldn't _breathe without you, Rae. You're my air, my life. I love you. I really do."

Tears fell down her cheeks as her smile grew again.

"I love you, too," she said. "I don't think I ever stopped."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I've been remembering it this past week, remembering how I thought I could never feel for anyone what I felt for you. It took me so long to put it all behind me."

"And me. But I never really could. I know now that's why I couldn't let you be with Hardy," he said. "I mean, I preferred your meaningless lays because there was no chance of you falling in love with any of the bastards. Then Hardy came along.... I couldn't let you be with him because deep down I knew you were meant to be with me. You've always been mine, Rae. And I've always been yours."

He held her closer as he said this, burying his face in her hair and closing his eyes as he kicked himself again for wasting so much time.

"I need you to promise me something."

He almost didn't hear her because she said it so softly. He pulled away from her slightly to look into her eyes and he knew straight away what she was going to say.

"No," he said a bit roughly before she could voice her request.

"Randy. I'm dying," she said softly again. "I need to know that you'll be alright, that you'll move on."

"No," he repeated. "Don't say that. Not now."

She held his gaze for a minute before slowly nodding her head. He'd been granted a temporary reprieve. And he wasn't about to waste it.

He brought his lips down to hers to ignite the already smouldering heat in his body and a second later her fingers were expertly undoing the buttons of his shirt.

Then she'd proceeded to make him forget every single thought in his head by just one little move of her delectable body. She did it so well that the minor interruptions they had throughout the day weren't even been enough to make him remember anything, not even Tammy.

John and Maria stopped by to pick John's stuff up and drop off a few birthday presents.... he vaguely remembered John pulling him to one side to apologise again and him accepting but he couldn't be sure. He didn't take his eyes off Rae for a second. He would have forgiven the guy now, anyway. And since he was going off to Maria's house that day before flying to the arena for Monday's show, he was pretty sure the guy wasn't a threat to him anymore. Even if he held Rae a bit too long when he said his goodbyes.

Then Jeff stopped by with Rae's bag. Now that pissed him off. He didn't even let him in. Rae was in the bathroom so he hoped she hadn't heard the soft knock. The painted freak asked to see her though, for what reason, he didn't know. It was obvious that something was bothering him, maybe the fact that Rae was now officially and in all senses of the word, his woman. But before he walked off he mumbled something about finding out what the fuck she was doing. Very weird, yes, but he wasn't in the mood to deal with the complexities of Hardy's mind.

Then Mark came to see her and that was probably the most puzzling thing of that day. He told them he was going to see Sara and the kids before flying out again for Tuesday's Smackdown tapping, which in itself wasn't weird as he'd spent the entire week with Rae. But then he pulled him to one side and gave him one of his intense Dead Man stares before he threatened to take his life if he took his eyes off Rae for even a minute. That was enough to make him swear he wouldn't without even asking the reasons why.

But after the Dead Man had gone, he remembered Tammy call and asked her about it. Her response?

"_Oh, that? It's just a stupid old trip I planned before all this.... nothing important. Good thing you reminded me, I have to cancel all my travelling arrangements."_

Total bullcrap, of course. He saw that straight away. But she used her body again, turning him once again into a mindless idiot.

* * *

But then Monday rolled on and he found himself sitting in the lounge in his home, a cigarette in his hand as he went over the events of the past weekend. Jeff, Mark and Tammy. The more he thought about Tammy's phone call, the more he believed she'd played him. She'd lied to him. She _was _going somewhere. And the more he thought about that, the more the sick feeling in the pit of his stomach increased.

And Jeff acting weirder than normal? Why would he think she was up to something? _He_ had his reasons for believing she was up to no good, but what did Jeff know? Had she said something to him while they'd been together?

The Dead Man threatening his life was nothing new, but that Saturday he'd looked like he'd actually meant it. He'd sensed something in him that was never normally there. It had been enough to actually make him follow Rae around wherever she went. That hadn't been weird or hard at all since they'd hardly been out of each other's arms since his birthday. But still... why would Mark just all of a sudden decide to fly back to Austin? Why now? He knew about the doctor's appointment he'd made for her, surely he would have wanted to stick around to find out what happened, or even to go with them. Something wasn't right.

"Are you going to tell me what this surprise is now or am I going to have to use my excellent interrogation skills?" Rae asked for the umpteenth time that day when she finally walked into the lounge after a shower.

"You tried that already, babe. Next time you want to get something out of me just remember my mind will go completely blank once you take your clothes off!" he chuckled as he put his cigarette out and stood up. "The taxi should be here soon."

"Why can't we just drive there?" she asked as she applied a bit of lip gloss and checked her hair in front of the large 'welcome' mirror on one wall of the room.

"Because we're both going to be drinking," he answered as he walked out of the room to head to the kitchen.

"Come on, Randy. Just one clue," she said as she followed behind him. "Are we going to our old secret place, you know, that place by the creek? That would be so cool; just you, me, a bottle of champagne and no clothes necessary."

He stopped by the kitchen table where he'd packed a picnic basket just for the effect.

"I'm not telling, Rae, so just quit already."

The doorbell rang before she could carry on, and he let out a relieved breath when she went to answer it. She could always tell when _he_ was lying, it worked both ways.

Picking up the picnic basket, he let out a steadying breath. This was it.

* * *

"The fuck was you thinking?" she snapped angrily as she looked outside the cab window.

Randy was gripping her arm so tightly she was sure if she struggled some more, it would fall off. He'd been holding on to it from the second she realised where the taxi was heading and almost bolted out of the moving vehicle.

He hadn't said a word to her, he hadn't even looked at her but something told her, her number was up. He'd never swallowed any of that bullshit she told him about the treatment. The way he was angrily biting down on his jaw proved that.

"I asked you a question," she snapped again. "Why would you go behind my back like this? You couldn't ask me first?"

The car came to a stop in front of the large building that housed Dr. Harvey's offices just as Randy's head snapped to her. She had never seen so much pain in anyone's eyes before.

"Could I not ask you first? _Are you fucking shitting me?_" he asked incredulously. "I've done nothing _but _ask. And you've done nothing but pile on the shit."

"I had a reason for that. It was hard enough telling you I was dying without explaining all the ugly details. You don't need to know___"

"Yes, I do," he cut in angrily. "I need to know exactly what we're dealing with so that, God forbid, if I lose you, I never have to live with the thought that I could have done more."

"I've already told you there's nothing we can do. Don't do this to yourself, Randy. Don't do this to us. I've been so happy the past few days... don't take it away from me."

She watched him swallow and clench his jaw again as he looked into her eyes and for a minute, she thought she was about to have her way. But only for a minute. Without another word to her, he opened his door, got out and pulled her out with him without letting go of her arm. She tried to struggle but it was futile. Not only did he have a death grip on her arm but now his entire 6'4, 245 pound frame was behind her, pushing her forward. He didn't seem to care that he was making a scene so she doubted that screaming would have done her any good.

So she gave up.

She let him push her all the way through the building to Dr. Harvey's receptionist where they were told to take a seat. Then, with his large hand still gripping her arm, she closed her eyes, leaned her head back against the chair and let her silent tears fall.

Poor Randy. He was going to walk into that office and hear all the options she could take. He was going to have his heart filled with hope. False hope. There was nothing that could be done for her. No amount of surgery, chemo or radiation or drugs would change the fact that she was going to die. The neurosurgeon had already explained that to her.

There was nothing they could do. There was nothing Randy could do. But he wouldn't see that. He would just hear what he wanted to hear, that with treatment she would have a chance. He would completely ignore the fact that it was a very slim chance. He would completely ignore the fact that after surgery, she would most probably be a vegetable. Then he would start making all these plans and make her feel so guilty for knowing she wouldn't carry them out.

"I need to know."

The pained whisper forced her to open her eyes and look into his blue ones. He was trying to hold back his own tears, but when one escaped and rolled down his cheek, her heart broke.

"Just be prepared, baby," she whispered back, using her free hand to brush the tear away.

"Don't say that," he whispered hoarsely as he looked away from her. "There's got to be a way. I won't live without you, Rae."

A little frowned formed on her face as she mulled over his words.

"You will," she said sadly. "I'll always be in your heart, I know that, but you'll learn to live again. You'll see."

He looked back at her and shook his head.

"I won't," he stated firmly.

She held his gaze for a second and saw that he meant it. What the hell was going through his head?

"Randy?"

"If anything happens to you... I won't go on, Rae."

Her hand went to her mouth at his words as the shock of them numbed her body. Was he saying what she thought he was saying?

"Don't say that... please," she whispered.

"It's true."

She looked into his eyes and saw that he meant those words.

"I... I need the bathroom," she whispered. "I can't... you can't say that."

She stood up as she said this but he stood with her.

"What? Are you going to watch me use the toilet?" she asked incredulously.

"If I have to."

She closed her eyes briefly as she let out a tired sigh. This was it. The end of her perfect weekend. And of everything else.

"You don't have to," she told him. "I'll let Dr. Harvey tell you everything you need to know."

He seemed to believe her because he nodded his head and sat back down again. Turning away from him, she slowly took the steps that would take her from her love forever. The tears were still falling down her face, blinding her as she walked into the bathroom. She washed her face and dried it, catching a glimpse of herself in the mirror before the pain in her eyes forced her to look away.

This was the path she had chosen. This was what she needed to do. There was no other way.

* * *

"Maybe you should write her a letter."

John looked up at Maria at her words. They had hours left to kill before the show that night and were just chilling in their hotel room, watching a few movies. His head wasn't in it, though and Maria had noticed.

"What?" he asked with a little frown.

"You're not talking to me about it and you haven't said as much as two words to Rae about it since she told us," Ria explained softly, taking his hand in hers. "Maybe you'll feel more comfortable writing everything you're feeling down then giving it to her to read. At least it'll all come out."

"I don't know," he mumbled, looking away from her. "I don't really want her to worry about me. She should be concentrating on getting better."

"I know that and I'm sure she does, too. It's just that she told me that she can't do this without you," Ria said. "The sooner you accept what she's going through, the sooner you can hold her hand while she goes through it."

He looked into her eyes again and gave her a little smile.

"When did you get so clever?" he teased gently as he pulled her closer to him on the couch.

"I've been spending a lot of time with you. It must be rubbing off," Ria smiled.

"I don't deserve you," he said softly, placing a kiss on top of her head.

"No, you don't," Ria teased before reaching for the writing pad and pen that were on the coffee table and handing it to him. "Tell her, John."

He took the pad and stared at it blankly for a minute.

"I'm going downstairs for a drink with some of the girls," Ria said as she got up and picked her bag up from the table. "Call me if you need me, okay?"

He nodded, knowing she was only going so she could give him the privacy he needed to put everything he was feeling on the piece of paper.

After she was gone, he stared at the blank paper for what seemed like forever, wondering where the hell he was supposed to begin. Losing Rae would be like losing a part of himself. She'd touched everything in his life, influenced a lot of his big decisions and sometimes he'd even thought he was in love with her. But he wasn't, not really. Not like Randy was. He loved her, though; there was no doubt about that. He regretted sleeping with her because it had somehow changed their friendship, and of course his friendship with Randy. He'd never trust him again after that, he was sure.

But now the cancer had ensured they cut through all that bullshit and concentrate on what mattered. It didn't mean shit that he'd slept with her. What mattered was that they fought this damn cancer with everything until they came out on the other side. What mattered was being there for her, holding her hand while she went through what was possibly the worst time of all their lives put together. And the only way to do that was to let her know how he was feeling.

So he'd start from the beginning. Putting pen to paper, he started to write.

_Remember how we met? When Randy brought you down to my house after I broke up with... what was her name? For the life of me, I can't remember. You told me I'd forget all about her, didn't you? But at the time I felt like my life had become meaningless without her there with me. I never told anyone what I almost did, not even Randy. I never told anyone how you saved me. I almost told Ria once, but then she would have judged me. You never did. You lied to Randy that night that you had a headache so you wouldn't go out but you spent the night talking to me instead. You didn't make me feel like what I was going through wasn't important or that it was stupid, you listened to me all night. When I was telling you how great this girl was you told me if she was so great, she wouldn't have left me in the first place. You didn't even really know me then. Then you took me to your mom's because you didn't want me to be alone. You made me see how stupid I was being for wanting to end it all over a person who didn't even give a shit about me. You gave me my life back and I'll always love you for that._

_I've screwed up a lot since then but you've always been there to save me. Always. And you never complained about it, either. You probably know more about me than anybody else. That could be because you're the nosiest person I know, but I know it's because you care about me. I'll be honest with you; once or twice I've thought I was in love with you but I've come to realise it's just a deep sense of gratitude, respect and awe rolled into one. Yeah, awe. You've been through so much shit in your short life but you always come out of it with a big grin on your face, ready to take on the world. You've always been really strong for me; I guess that's why I've always tried to be strong for you._

_But this time... it's killing me, Rae. All I think about is how I might lose you and how I'd never survive that. I'm trying to be positive, I really am, but everytime I look at you I can help thinking about it. I've been lying awake at night crying into my pillow because I feel so useless. I just want it all to go away, I want to wake up and realise it was all a bad dream. But it doesn't go away. It's not a dream. I've felt this pain inside me since you told me and there's no way for me to make it go away. So I've tried not to talk about it at all and that hasn't helped either of us. I just don't know what to do. Writing this letter was Ria's good idea. You were right about her; she's been such an angel to me, even after what happened. I would have given up on her if it weren't for you. That's another thing I owe you for._

_She told me to write everything I couldn't say in person. She probably knows I'd have started crying my eyes out before I even got anything out. You're one of my best friends, Rae and it's killing me that you're going through this when you've been through it twice before. It's killing me that I can't take your pain away, that I can't save you. So when I see you, I'm probably going to break down and cry because even after writing all of this down, all the pain I felt before is still there._

_I'm going to cry and you're probably going to make me feel better just like you've always done. Then we can start concentrating on kickin this thing in the butt. Because we will, I know now that we will. We just need to believe we will. You have so much to live for, least of all Randy, Taker and me. The Big Guy up there wouldn't dare take you from the Dead Man. And Randy and I will put up a good fight as well. Just don't give up on us, baby. Keep fighting because this is one fight we can't afford to lose. We won't lose._

_Just ignore my uncontrollable tears and take all the hugs I'm going to give you. We're all hurting, but we'll do this together. You aren't going anywhere, baby. We can do this. _

He finally put the pen down and wiped his tears. That wasn't even half of what he could have written but it would have to do. All he had to do now was give it to her when he got to their house after the show.

He wondered how the appointment at the Doc's was going. Randy hadn't rung him yet but he was sure she hadn't given in easily.

His phone rang and he picked it up. Speak of the devil... Randy's name was flashing across the screen.

"Hey," he answered.

* * *

Jeff waited by his rental in the hot afternoon sun, his hands stuffed in his pocket, brushing the pieces of paper in it. It broke his heart all over again. It wasn't just a list of things she wanted to do before she died.... it was a list of things she _had_ to do _before s_he died.

His mind went over the last few things on her list. He had read them over enough times for them to have burned right through his soul....

_93) Find a good man to be with. Just one man to show you what all the fuss about love is. Make myself matter, that when I'm gone I know someone will always think of me the way mum thought of Greg. I need to be loved by someone like that. My life needs to have meant something. Otherwise the memory of me will just fade away and then finally just die. It will be like I never existed. _

_94) Get to know Mark. He's had my back all these years even though I've been a bitch to him. I can't let it end like this. I need to give him some warmer memories of me, something he can remember for always and maybe tell his kids about. I need to let him know how much I appreciate him. _

_95) Buy the coffin, arrange for flowers and ceremony, etc. Am sure it'll be the last thing on Randy's mind, so I'll do it now, save him the heartache._

_96) Say goodbye. It will be the hardest thing I'll ever do. In some ways, it was easier saying goodbye to mum because I knew she was going to be with Greg. But saying goodbye to Randy will kill me, and it will kill him. He's a part of me, my best friend. When I die, I am certain he will want to die with me. I don't know how I will do this, how I will let him go. Life is so fucking unfair. I've done all this... made so many changes... but still it's not fucking enough. I guess when you gotta go, you gotta go. And I gotta go._

Everything on her list had been marked as done except the very last one. That meant she had already arranged her funeral. She wasn't going to fight this thing at all. He should have seen it coming, really. All the things she had said to him without thinking while they were together, like she had made peace with the fact that she was indeed dying.... He should have picked up on it then and called her on it. He should have made her see why she shouldn't give up.

The man he was waiting for finally emerged from his house to join him outside.

"You're a long way from home, Hardy," Mark said as he came to lean on the car right next to him.

"I know. But I didn't know what else to do," he whispered. "I didn't mean to disturb you and your family."

"It's about Rae, isn't it?" the older man asked gently.

He nodded his head, still looking at his feet.

"Look, I know you fell in love with my daughter," Mark said softly, "but her heart has always belonged to Randy. You need to let her go, Hardy. Don't make her life any more difficult than it already is."

"I know. That's why I came to you."

"What do you mean?"

He looked up at the Dead Man for the first time.

"She's not going to go through with the treatment, Mark."

He watched as the older man ran his hand through his hair but noticed the news didn't surprise him.

"You already knew that," he stated, straightening as he turned fully to Mark. "And you're letting her do it?"

"No, I'm not letting her do it," Mark snapped. "Sara and the boys are flying there tonight and I'm hoping by the time I get there tomorrow night, I won't have to drag her by her hair to the hospital."

"You think spending time with your family will make her change her mind?" he asked hopefully.

"They're her family, too. Maybe she'll realise she's got more to live for and want to live," Mark answered sadly.

"But what if that doesn't work? If she doesn't want to live for Randy, what makes you so sure she'll do it for you and your... her family," he questioned.

Mark had no answer to that. He slumped against the car and took out a cigarette, a habit Jeff knew he had kicked when his first child had been born.

"I'm not going to let her give up, Jeff. If she doesn't get the treatment willingly, I'm really going to have to force her."

"But she's an adult. You can't force her to sign any consent papers."

"Jeff, why are you here?" Mark snapped suddenly. "You think I don't know that I'm clutching at straws? I don't know, okay? I don't know what I'll do if my baby doesn't change her mind..."

Jeff leaned back against the rental at the Dead Man's pained words and lit his own cigarette with a useless sigh. No, there was not much they could do if she didn't change her mind. But if Mark called her on it, made her see....

"She's already planned her funeral."

Mark snapped his head round to look at him.

"What? Did she tell you this?"

"No. I found... I found some papers... She's bought her coffin and even paid for the ceremony. That's why I came to you. I didn't know what else to do."

Mark's phone rang at that moment and he picked it up as if he had been waiting for it to ring all day.

"Randy? What's happened? Are you at the doctor's?" Mark asked quickly.

His eyes pricked up as he listened to this one sided conversation. Rae had agreed to go to the doctor? Maybe she had decided on treatment after all.

"What do you mean? I told you not to let her out of your sight," Mark barked angrily as he started pacing in front of the car.

At that news, his heart dropped to his stomach. No, she hadn't changed her mind.

"Is that Dr. Harvey? Will he talk to you anyway?"

Mark's pacing slowed down as he listened to the answer.

"What do you mean?"

He listened again for a while before the phone dropped to ground and he fell on his knees right next to it.

"Mark?" he asked as he knelt next to him. "What's happening?"

The Dead Man looked into his eyes as his hand came up to his mouth. Tears came down his cheeks, scaring him even further.

What was it? What had brought the devil to his knees and tears to his eyes? Where they too late?

"Mark, talk to me?"

"I need to go there... now... I need to be with my little girl..."

"Mark, please," he begged. "Is she alright? What's happened?"

* * *

**So.... what do you think? Lolita Smiles and alethea293.... shhh! Lol. I must say though that the research I did for this opened my eyes. Read and review please. I know I've said this a few times, but I'm sure you can tell that the end is coming very, very soon.**


	29. Chapter 29

**I'm so, so sorry. Writer's block is a b***h. If you feel the need to read the last few chapters to remember what the hell is happening, please do so. Thanks for your patience.**

She knew as soon as she opened her eyes where she was. The horrible white walls, the constant humming and beeping of machines, that faint smell of ammonia and death... She wasn't dead. Shit!

She lifted her hand to pull out something hooked to her chest and noticed her wrist was bandaged up, as was the other one.

"You're the only person I know stupid enough to try to commit suicide in a place swarming with doctors!"

She turned her head to this angry statement and saw John leaning by the wall next to the windows. His hands were in his pockets and his hat low over his eyes, but she could still see the pain in them. And he looked like he'd been crying.

Shit! It wasn't supposed to be like this. She wasn't supposed to be here to see this.

Swallowing hard, she turned away from him, only to see Randy's baby blues looking right at her. She'd never seen his eyes look so dead. She knew he'd never understand what she'd tried to do, but she'd hurt him so much more now than if she'd just let nature take its course. Her heart broke. She'd just killed all the good memories she'd tried her hardest to create for him these past few weeks, and now, when he looked back, all he'd see is she tried to kill herself.

"Randy...."

He swallowed, his eyes not once leaving her face. She could see the question so clearly in his eyes.

_How could you? You tried to leave me. Why?_ She'd never wanted to see him like this; that was why. His pain was killing her.

After what seemed like forever, he just got up from his chair and stormed out of the room.

"Don't go..." she said weakly, too late.

"How could you do this to us? How could you do this to Randy?" John asked, his voice barely a whisper.

She shook her head and closed her eyes, trying to block the whole day out of her head. If only she hadn't panicked. She could have just found a way out of this hospital and just waited for her plane on Friday.

"Do you know how devastated he is? We almost lost you," John continued, walking to stand by the side of her bed. "I never thought you could be so selfish."

That forced her eyes open.

"Selfish?" she questioned.

"Yeah, selfish," John snapped. "How did you think we will deal with this, dealt with the fact you actually choose to die instead of grabbing that little hope there is that you'll make it? Do you think Randy will ever get over that? You know what you mean to him, what you mean to all of us. But you tried to do it anyway."

"Selfish?" she repeated. "John, do you have any idea the amount of pain I'm in? _You_ couldn't even handle just _thinking_ about it and this is only the beginning. Imagine what you'd all be like with me howling my pain 27/7, begging for one of you to just kill me? Imagine feeling hopeless because you know there's nothing you can do for me. Imagine watching me die right in front of your eyes. It will kill you. And Randy will _never_ get over _that_. What else was I supposed to do? This was the only option."

"The other option is to fight. How the hell can you just lie there and throw me all that bullshit when you haven't even tried to live? There chemo, radiation and drugs. There's stuff to manage your pain. Yet here you are, trying to do yourself in at the first hurdle. I didn't know your pain was this bad, but if you'd just told someone, babes.... the doctors could have given you the proper drugs to help with that. Then we'd have tried everything possible to beat this"

"I've already been told nothing will work! My tumours are too many and inoperable. Nothing's going to work, Johnny. Nothing," she shouted as the tears started streaming down her face.

Her voice lowered and broke as she repeated, "Nothing. I'm going to die."

John's shoulders drooped as if the strength just sapped out of his body.

"Just try, baby. Please. If you're... if you're going to go, don't do it like this," he whispered, bringing his large hand to her face.

At that same time, two large men appeared at the door. And they looked just as hurt as John was.

"I'm going to find Randy," John said sadly, looking down at her a moment longer before dropping a kiss on her forehead.

As he turned to go, he pulled a crumpled envelope out of his pocket.

"Read this when you can," he said quietly as he handed it to her.

At the door, he nodded to the two men as he walked past them.

Her eyes met both theirs briefly before she looked away. She couldn't face their pain either.

Jeff and Mark walked into the room without a word, coming to stand either side of her. When she couldn't take the silence much longer, she looked up at their faces. Obviously, they were going to go off on one like John had. And she was going to let them if it made them feel a bit better.

But they didn't.

Jeff let out a shaky breath as his hand found one of hers and tightly gripped it. He'd been crying as well, she realised. Crying for her. How could she have hurt this gentle soul like this?

He brought her hand to his lips and she felt him shaking.

"Don't you ever do that to me again," he whispered, his breath warm against her cold hand. "I let you go so you could find yourself in Randy, not to lose yourself completely."

"I'm sorry... I just can't do it anymore..."

"Yes, you can," he said angrily through grit teeth. "You were sent to me for a reason. You helped me get past Beth so I could help you get past this."

How could he believe in Fate or God after all this? She shook her head and started to say something but he gripped her face between his large hands and forced her to look up into his green eyes.

"Listen to me," he bit out, forcing her to meet his eyes again. "My mother was a strong woman who'd have done anything for us, she _did_ everything for us. She didn't just give up when she found out she was ill. She fought it. She fought it for us and I'll always love and respect her for that. Don't you dare insult me by telling me _you_ won't even bother. Don't you dare tell me you _can't_ do it. Take a look around you. You've had people in and out of here all day just breaking their hearts over you. How could _not_ want to fight for them?"

She looked around the room and saw for the first time all the flowers and cards. And there on the table next to her was her old pink teddy, battered and bruised from years of cuddles. Greg had given it to her on her fifth birthday. He'd told her whenever she felt lonely or hurt or discouraged, all she had to do was hug Mr Cuddles and he'd take it all away. After Greg had passed, she had turned once more to her old buddy for comfort.

Noone knew what he meant to her except Randy. He was the only one who could have brought Mr Cuddles in. To take her pain away, just as he'd done for so many years.

Another hand found hers and she looked up into Mark's eyes. She had broken him. She wouldn't have believed it if she hadn't seen it with her own eyes, but she had. He looked tired and defeated, and he looked so much older than his age. He hadn't said one word to her when she'd expected him to have the most to say.

"I'm sorry, Daddy," she said in barely a whisper, pulling his hand to her lips like Jeff had done with hers.

Jeff gently squeezed the other man's arm , making her realise he'd probably been Mark's crutch throughout.

"I'm going to get you a drink," Jeff said to Mark before he looked down at her again. "Promise me you won't do that again."

She nodded her head. No, she wouldn't do that again. But now, faced with a painful death, she was scared. She hadn't been before, when she'd made all her plans and had felt like she had some sort of control over the whole shitty situation. Now that had been blown to shit. She was stuck here now with all these people disappointed with her. And the person she needed the most couldn't even look at her.

The shitty part was, she might have failed today, but she was still going to die. Sooner rather than later.

Jeff kissed her gently on her forehead, giving her a little broken smile before he left the room.

Still, Mark didn't say a word.

Shifting on the bed, she made room for him and tugged him down. Once she was in her father's arms for the first time in her life, she felt a certain security she'd never known before. This man had always been a strong wall, and it had taken this tumor for her to see it. How many of these cuddles could she have had, had she not cut him down on every turn? Would she have become a better person under his influence? Would she have been happier, embroiled in his life with his... her family?

If she'd had him in her life all along, would she have taken a different route when she'd got her results back? Would she have started treatment straight away, even against all the odds?

"I thought I'd lost you," Mark whispered.

She lifted her head to look into his eyes.

"I'm sorry," she repeated. "I was stupid. I thought I would be sparing you...."

"You'd planned this all along, hadn't you?" he asked.

Looking away, she nodded her head. Well, she hadn't planned it quite like this, but yes. Switzerland seemed so far away now.

Silence fell between them again. She held onto him a bit tighter because she knew Mark was still struggling to deal with what she'd done.

John's envelope caught her eye and she picked it up. Her name was scribbled across the front in his bold handwriting. But she knew John. Whatever was in there would be another guilt trip, and she'd had enough of those to last her the rest of her life. She chuckled a bit to herself at that... the rest of her life, which could be months, weeks or even days.

"Open it," Mark urged.

She did as she was told, only because she was trying to be pliable. The first few sentences confirmed that she was indeed about to go on a major guilt trip.

_Remember how we met? When Randy brought you down to my house after I broke up with... what was her name? For the life of me, I can't remember. You told me I'd forget all about her, didn't you? But at the time I felt like my life had become meaningless without her there with me. I never told anyone what I almost did, not even Randy. I never told anyone how you saved me._

* * *

Randy had smoked almost the whole box of his cigarettes while seated on a bench just outside the hospital and hadn't said a word to anyone, not even John who'd come to sit with him. He stared, unseeing, at the ground, where so many cigarette butts had landed.

He was numb. The pain that was shooting from his heart to every inch of his body had made him numb. Every breath he took was extremely painful, and his lungs fell like they weren't taking any air in. He still tried his best to pull on as many cigarettes as he could. Maybe if he was lucky, his heart would just give out. Then he could die here, in this place where his already shattered life had been officially fucked.

How could she do this to him? How had she even thought to go that far? Knowing how he felt about her, knowing he was worth shit without her, she'd still tried to leave him.

Had she thought he was lying when he'd told her he wouldn't go on without her? It was physically impossible. Did she not realise that? Yet still, she'd tried to leave him.

An image of that afternoon flashed across his eyes and he closed his eyes against it. But that only made it worse.

Rae lying on the bathroom floor, soaking in her own blood, unconscious.

Was that really the last image she'd wanted him to have of her? Had she really expected him to just move on after watching those doctors wheel his life away on the gurney? That's what it had felt like, like with every step they'd taken away from him as they rushed to save her, his life had slowly seeped out of him.

"Come on, let's go back in now," John said beside him.

He shook his head.

He couldn't face her. It hurt too much.

"She said she loved me..." he said in a broken whisper. "She told me that when she was with me she felt like she could do anything, that nothing could touch her."

He laughed wryly when he said that. Obviously, she'd been feeding him a load of crap.

Another thought occurred to him, one he tried his hardest to push all the way to the back of his mind. But it pushed through anyway.

What if she'd fed him bullshit from the get go?

What if she hadn't meant the things she'd said, the things she'd done? What if she hadn't really wanted to get with him the night of Flair's party? What if she'd just been feeling sorry for him, because she'd known she was going to kill herself anyway?

What if she didn't love him?

"She doesn't love me," he stated, adding more pain to the unbearable one already in his chest.

"What? No," John said. "You know she does. What she did in there.... she was just trying to spare you everything that might happen."

"In what way is this bullshit sparing me watching her die?" he snapped angrily. "In what crazy ass place would anyone think watching her die now would be better than watching her die later? She doesn't love me, John. Simple. She just didn't want to hurt me by throwing my heart back in my face. She'd planned this all along, and like the stupid prick I am, I didn't see it."

"Randy, you're angry and that's understandable. But you should go in and talk to her. Whatever the truth is, it doesn't change the fact that she's got the tumour, and she could die. She needs you, Randy."

He blinked back some tears as he watched the people walking in and out of the hospital.

John was right. The fact that she tried to kill herself didn't change the fact that she was still dying.

The fact that she didn't love him didn't change the fact that he'd love her with his dying breath.

"What do I say? I don't know if I can forgive her for doing this."

"You can't forgive her?" John asked. "I'm going to tell you what I said to her. You're being selfish. You're sitting here feeling sorry for yourself when you haven't even asked her why she did it. And the sad thing is, she did it for you. You need to be right by her bedside, Randy, telling her that everything's going to be okay. I'm scared to death that she won't make it, so just imagine how she's feeling. And she's in a lot of pain, you know she wouldn't have done this if she wasn't. She needs you, Randy."

He _was_ being selfish. She hadn't talked about the pain she was feeling but after she'd told them about the cancer he'd watched her like a hawk. But he'd seen the pain in her eyes. He should have made her talk about it. He should have tried harder to make her talk, instead of shooting his load into her every chance he got.

With a sigh, he threw his smoke down and stepped on it before he stood up.

"Yeah. She needs me," he said.

But that still didn't change the fact that she'd tried to leave him.

With a sigh, he led the way back into the hospital.

* * *

"I wish I'd taken more time to appreciate the things around me," she whispered, still tucked safely in Mark's strong arms and her free hand gripping onto Hardy.

"I wish I'd laughed more... loved more."

She looked at Jeff as she said this, giving him a sad little smile. He had pulled a chair up to the bed and laid his head on their entwined hands.

"I wished I'd been less selfish. What I've done to try and make up for that... it hasn't been nearly enough," she continued, the tears welling up again in her eyes.

"Hush, baby. Don't talk like this," Jeff begged.

"I really wish I'd had more time with you guys. You have no idea how your strength has kept me going," she continued anyway.

"I don't feel strong right now," Jeff whispered.

She gently ran her fingers through his colourful hair and gave him a little smile before finding his hand again.

"I'm sorry I let you down. You are strong, and being with you just makes me feel better," she assured him. "You have a good heart, Jeff. You got me without me having to say much to you. I just wish we had more time... You and I would have been the best of friends by now if I hadn't been too self-obsessed before to see how amazing you are."

"Please... don't do that," Jeff whispered, begging her again. "Don't talk like that."

Mark's arm tightened around her and she looked up to see his eyes. Now was probably not the right time to talk like this, but she knew time was the one thing she didn't really have. Something had changed that day. Her trying to kill herself had made her imminent death more real.

"You are a really good man, dad. I regret the last ten years more than anything. I love you."

This was the first time she'd said this to him and it really sucked that she hadn't said it under better circumstances.

"I love you, too, Rae. I always have," Mark whispered as he kissed the top of her head.

"You'll tell the kids about me, won't you? You won't forget me?"

"Never!" Mark whispered, tightening his hold on her.

"You'll have to make up quite a few lies though, to make me look good," she chuckled sadly.

"When all this is behind us, _you_ can tell them about yourself," he stated.

Obviously, he was still in denial.

The door opened and John walked in, Randy right behind him. She tried to catch his eyes but he looked at anything but her. But for a second, she saw him look at Jeff, and thought she saw something break in him before he walked over to the windows.

Was he jealous of Jeff?

Maybe Jeff sensed this because he let go of her hand with a regretful smile and got off his chair, making some excuse about going to find them all something to eat.

"Mark, do you want to come?" Jeff asked. "A little fresh air might do you some good."

Mark nodded his head as he gave her another gentle squeeze.

"I won't be long, sweetheart," he promised as he got off the bed.

Then it was just John and Randy in there with her. He saw the way John looked at Randy then back at her before he quickly said, "I think I'll join Hardy and Mark."

Randy turned from his view then, panic clear in his eyes. He didn't even want to talk to her now? God, how had she messed this up so much?

"Dude, what the fuck?" he asked as John walked to the door.

But John didn't answer him. The door closed behind him, leaving the two of them alone. Randy looked like he would have loved nothing better than to have just walked out of there with John and she didn't blame him. She'd brought this on herself. It still sucked though.

How would she begin to explain herself? Could she?

"I'm sorry," she said.

That was as good a place to start as any.

"'Bout what?" Randy asked, finally looking her in the eye. "Making a fool of me? Lying to me? Trying to kill yourself? What?"

"I didn't mean to," she whispered sadly. "I just didn't want you to watch me slip away. I still see mum's face when she finally closed her eyes for the last time. I didn't want you to remember me like that."

"You'd rather I remember you as a bloody mess being wheeled away on a gurney?" he asked.

"No! I... I never meant to do that... I just couldn't see any other way," she said.

"Even after I told you that I won't live without you?" Randy asked sadly.

"But you're going to have to," she said sadly. "You all have to. You can't change that. I'm going to try my best for you guys, but we all know that we can't do shit."

Randy bit his lip as he looked away. Obviously, he was also still in denial.

"So what happens now?" he asked softly.

"I guess I have to see Dr. Harvey about that," she shrugged.

He let out a tired sigh as he finally came to sit in the chair Jeff had vacated. But he didn't hold her hand like Jeff had. He still hadn't forgiven her. She'd known it wouldn't be easy.

"So... will you still need me as much as you did before?"

What kind of crazy question was that?

"Of course," she answered without hesitation. "I'm going to need you now more than ever. I can't do it without you. How could you even ask that?"

"I don't know... I guess I thought, with you lying to me about something as big as this, maybe you lied to me about... other things."

"Other things?" she asked.

Randy looked away from her and shrugged.

"It doesn't matter," he said. "You're the best part of me, and I won't leave your side for anything. We'll do this together, just as we've always done everything together.

There was something he wasn't telling her. Lately, with all the crazy stuff happening, she hadn't been able to read him like before.

But he was talking to her now, so she didn't want to push it just yet.

She held out her hand and it seemed like forever before he put his own over it. Oh, God, was she really losing him now?

"You won't leave me? You promise?"

She was scared and she needed him.

"Promise," Randy answered, squeezing her hand gently.

Then why wasn't he coming onto the bed and holding her like he always did?

The door opened and a doctor came in, behind him the three men who'd left the room only a few minutes earlier.

"I'm glad to see you," she said when he stood in front of her. "I was beginning to think you were never going to let me out of here."

"Um, actually, I'm not. Well, not today," the doctor said.

"What do you mean? I'm not really suicidal or anything, I won't try it again if you let me go."

"I have the results of your MRI scan and blood works we did earlier," the doctor continued.

"What? When? I didn't agree to that," she said, sitting up in her bed.

"While you were.. um... incapacitated earlier, after we stabilised you, Mr. Orton signed your consent papers, as he's listed as your next of keen. And seeing as you tried to commit suicide, we had to assume you were too unstable to make up your own mind regarding treatment," the doctor explained.

Bullshit. But she wasn't going to make a big deal out of it, not when she'd now decided to go down this route anyway.

"And?" she questioned.

"The scan showed that your tumours have grown rapidly___"

"Oh, God," she whispered.

"___too fast, really for your initial diagnosis," he continued.

"Initial diagnosis?" she asked.

Did that mean what she thought it did?

"The results of your blood tests confirmed this, and from the history that I've read in your file, with all the travelling you've done lately, someone should have ruled this out first."

"Oh, come out with it already!" Randy said, his hand gripping hers tighter.

She looked around the room and realised all of them seemed to be holding their breaths as well. Were they thinking what she was thinking?

"It's not cancer."

* * *

**It's three in the morning. I just had the urge to write this chapter. Forgive any mistakes please, can hardly keep my eyes open. I was going one way with it to start off with but that would have taken way too long and I'm afraid with the way things are going with me right now, it could have been years before you saw the end of this. But I'm going with this way. Less hassle. I might be killing the story a bit but... hey. Maybe I'll put an alternative ending to it just for laughs later. Not now though.**

**Please leave a review. I promise, I will update sooner next time. Please stay with me a while longer. I should have all the kinks in my life worked out soon and will be updating as before.**

* * *


	30. Chapter 30

**This chapter is medically flawed, but don't shoot me. I've researched it as much as I could. This **_**does**_** happen, but I might have fiddled with the parts of the treatment to suit my story. Hey, that's why it's fiction... right?**

* * *

The air left her lungs and she clutched her heart when she heard these words. What? She didn't have cancer? How could that be? She'd seen the scans. She had these headaches, which had become worse with each day that passed.

Randy's grip on her hand loosened as he dropped into the chair he'd been sitting in before and dropped his head in his hand. He looked as shocked as she was. As did the rest of the guys. Jeff had immediately rushed to Mark's side, propping him up when he staggered, looking for support. And John had dropped down to his hunches, pulling his hat off his head and gripping it tightly.

But their eyes were glued to this man, this doctor who'd said these words that none of them had expected. The words they'd all hoped to hear but never dreamt they would.

_She didn't have cancer._

"What? I... I don't... I don't understand," she whispered, slowly sitting herself up on the bed.

"You have neurocysticercosis, um, tapeworm cysts," the doctor explained. "They're also known as brain worms."

"Worms?" Randy asked. "On the brain? How?"

"Well, this condition is quite common in Mexico, Central and South America and Southeast Asia, through accidental ingestion of tapeworm eggs, and I noticed on your history that over the last couple of years you've been travelling to these places a lot," the doctor explained. "Basically, you ate something poorly cooked; probably pork as pigs are known hosts of this worm, the eggs found their way through your bloodstream and lodged themselves on your brain."

"Worms?" she repeated, still trying to process this information. "But the scans... my headaches are getting worse..."

"Once the cysts mature, the most common symptom are seizures, but some patients do get terrible headaches which intensify as the cyst swell up, when they're degenerating," he explained.

"You said I had cancer... I almost..."

Oh, God. She'd almost killed herself over _worms_?

"Unfortunately, this is quite a common mistake with the initial scans," the doctor said regrettably. "Only further monitoring and tests can rule this out, as we've done now."

_Fucking worms? _She'd almost killed herself over worms? The fuck...?

"You said the cysts are degenerating," Mark said, speaking for the first time. "What does that mean? Is it dangerous?"

"Well, the cysts are full of thick cystic fluid in a thickened capsule, and antigens are leaking from it. This causes the tissue around the cyst to swell up, and this is what is causing Miss. Taylor's headaches. There's a chance that the cysts will just calcify, and the swelling will go down as the eggs die."

"But?" Jeff asked, frowning as he walked to stand on the other side of Rae's bed.

"Based on the number, location, and viability of the parasites within Miss Taylor's nervous system, there is a risk that the cysts will burst, releasing the worms and obstructing the blood flow. This could be potentially fatal."

She sucked in a breath. Son of a..... Why dangle a bone in her face only to yank it away again?

"So what do we do?" she asked. "What are my options?"

"There are anti-parasitic drugs that you could take to reduce the swelling and kill the eggs, but there is a very high chance of recurrence. Because of this, and of the location of the cysts, I suggest surgery immediately after the drugs, via endoscopy. It's less invasive, therefore less risky. 100% removal is hard to attain, but we are very confident that with the technology we have available to us, we can achieve this."

"That's it?"

"Basically, yeah," the doctor said. "But we need to start treatment now. The tests showed that we don't have very much time before the eggs burst."

* * *

He was still struggling to believe it was true, to believe he wasn't going to lose her. The moment the doctor had said those words, the pain he'd carried in his chest since that horrible night she had told her she was dying had immediately disappeared to be replaced by this deep gratitude to whichever God had given her back to him.

But now the gratitude was mixed with something else.

She'd been on the drugs for a week at the hospital, and Hardy had been there right next to her more often than not. A full week in which Hardy had lay by her in bed whenever he was there, whispering nonsense to her and laughing with her, painting her, making her happy....

That prick was seriously doing his head in!

Everyone was relieved, everyone was grateful Rae wasn't going to die. He got that, he really did. Hell, he was probably more grateful than most. But he'd hardly had a look in all week. There were people falling out of every crevice of the hospital room, dying to do things for her, things he should have been doing. He didn't want to sound like an ungrateful bastard, but he just wanted a minute alone with her, just a minute to show her how grateful he was that he would get to hold her in his arms longer than they'd all thought.

If she let him. If she wanted him.

John had told him over and over again that he was just imagining things, that Rae would never have told her she loved him if she didn't mean it. But that was just how it was. She had given him no sign at all that she hadn't only said those words because they'd thought she was dying.

"Hey, we've been looking for you."

He took a final pull of his smoke and turned to face John as he flicked the butt into the bushes.

"What's up?"

"Your mom wants to know if you going to hers to eat something," John said as he stopped in front of him.

"I'm not really hungry," he answered as he lit another smoke and turned back to his view of the sunset.

The hospital grounds had been his sanctuary a lot the past few days. He just wished he could sit out there with a case of beers by his side and get plastered, but he was afraid he'd just storm up to her room and beg her to pretend to love him again.

"Is that because Hardy just got here?" John asked.

He paused briefly mid-smoke at the mention of that name, but he knew John noticed that.

"He's Rae's friend. Why would having him here spoil my appetite?" he asked.

"Then you don't mind that he's asked to stay over at yours tonight?"

He bit down on his teeth to stop himself from saying anything.

"We've got no more spare rooms."

Well, that was true. Mark and Sara had one room. John still had his usual room, which he was sharing with Ria at that moment even though they were still trying to see if they could work things out. He wasn't going to let him have Rae's bed, which was all made up ready for her to come home. And he certainly wasn't giving his bed up to the shit.

"We've got a few comfortable couches."

Well, he couldn't really argue with that. And the last thing he wanted to do was stand in the way of Rae's happiness. If she wanted the guy there, she could have him there. Who was he to stand in the way of _true love_? He was just grateful that she would live; he would be happy if she chose to be with someone else, as long as she was alive and happy.

He just wished it didn't hurt so bad.

"Rae's been asking about you," John continued, stuffing his hands in his pockets as he also looked out at the beautiful view.

He liked this time of day, when the sun's orange glow kissed every surface, even the ugly ones, giving it a mask of beauty that didn't really exist otherwise. There was not much beautiful out there anymore. It was just an endless sea of selfishness and cruelty; he knew that only too well.

"She wondering how I'm holding up?" he asked with a little laugh at himself.

Was she wondering how bad he was going to hurt once she told him the truth?

"Yes, actually. From where she's standing, it looks like you actually wanted her to die."

"Don't be stupid!" he snapped. "I'm just giving her a bit of space to get her head around all this. And it's not like we can have any decent conversations with all those people coming in and out of her room."

"She hasn't really seen you in days."

"I sleep on her bed!"

"You crawl into her bed when you know she's fast asleep and leave the hospital before she wakes up," John pointed out calmly.

Because the last thing he wanted was to give her a chance to admit that she lied to him about how she felt. It would break him.

"John, you more than anyone know how I cried with relief when we heard that news. I had the worst time of my life, thinking I'd never get to grow old with her, that she'd never get to have my kids, that I'd never get to hold her again..."

"And now that we know she'll be fine, shouldn't you be stuck to her, showing her just how grateful you are?"

"She knows. Trust me, she knows."

"Has it occurred to you that she's probably thinking the same way you are? That she might think you told her all those things because you thought you were going to lose her, but now you're regretting it?"

"She knows I'd never treat her like that," he frowned.

"Does she?"

"Yes! Besides, it's not like we've had much of a chance to talk with Hardy all up in her hospital room like he's moved in. Doesn't he have to be at work or something?"

John had nothing to say to that. He guessed his friend was just tired of pointing out the errors of his thinking.

_She doesn't love Hardy... They're just friends... _Well, if she didn't love Jeff, then why the hell was he slowly but so damn surely taking his place in her life?

"Go in and talk to her," John said finally. "It would be a shame if you threw all this away a second time. And I don't think you'd get over her that easily this time round."

No, he wouldn't. Ever. He was going to love Rae till the day he died. But she had just been yanking him, and he didn't have the strength to hear that from her this soon.

"Alright. I'll talk to her," he lied.

He heard his friend sigh and knew he hadn't bought that. But there was nothing John could do. He planned on avoiding hearing those words, those stupid words 'I don't love you', for as long as he could.

* * *

"You haven't talked to him yet?"

She shook her head as she kicked the covers of her body.

She was sick of the hospital, of being forced to rest. The drugs made her feel like shit mostly and she was constantly tired, but she didn't think she had to be in bed _all _the time like everyone was forcing her to do. At least it was going to be over soon. Early the next day, she was going to have the surgery, and hopefully, if nothing went wrong, she'd be back on her feet in no time.

"Want me to go drag him in here?" Jeff asked.

"No. I don't really want him to tell me he was just humouring me," she sighed. "I wouldn't know how to handle that."

"I'm starting to see what John meant when he said he feels like knocking your heads together," Jeff stated as he helped her off her bed into a chair by the windows.

"Randy regrets what he did, but I still love him and I can only hope he'll still want to be my friend. If I say anything to him, maybe he'll decide it'll be better if he wasn't around me," she said as she tucked her feet underneath herself. "Just leave it now, Hardy. You're here to make me feel better, not to talk about Randy."

"You know you're probably not helping things much by having me here as often as you are."

"Why?"

"He knows what we had. Maybe he's out there now thinking we're trying to work things out."

She looked out the window of her second floor room and saw Randy standing with John in the landscaped grounds of the hospital as the sun sank behind the hills and valleys.

"I told him already how I feel. I'm not going to push it," she said firmly as she turned away from the window. "Now, talk about something else."

With a sigh, Jeff pulled a chair opposite her and sat down.

"Dave said hello."

"How's he doing," she asked with a genuine smile.

"He's alright," Jeff answered.

"I wish I hadn't been so nasty to him before, though. He's been pretty good with listening to me talk about nothing for hours when he's probably trying to get to sleep."

"He called you?" Jeff asked, surprised. "You're friends now?"

"Yeah, he heard what was happening and he just called to see how I was doing. I just happened to be pretty bored that day so I talked to him. He listened to me complain about everything and everyone," she shrugged, brushing it off. "He was being good to me."

"He's not still trying to get with you, is he?"

"Nah. Last night he was telling me how he bumped into Mickie the other night and things got a little bit freaky," she chuckled.

"Dave and Mickie?!"

"Shhh!" she laughed. "You didn't hear it from me."

"Even if I said something, I don't think people would believe me. They just so... not suited."

"Hey, she's got him out of my hair. You can't knock that."

They laughed together as Jeff made himself more comfortable, sprawling his long legs in front of him as he played with Mr. Chuckles in his lap. She watched him, thinking how he'd been a Godsend to her the past few days. He'd only done minimal duties at work the past week to be by her side and she knew he was going to get into a lot of shit for that from Vince. But she was grateful. She'd needed him there so she wouldn't just break down. Randy was seriously breaking her heart.

This was supposed to be the best time of her life. She's been told she wasn't dying, she was supposed to be celebrating the fuck out of each and every day. Sometimes she felt really sick at the thought that she'd actually been prepared to fly to Zurich to die, that she'd actually slashed her wrists in a bid to die.... She would have died for absolutely nothing. She would have caused so much pain for nothing. She would have broken Randy for nothing.

But given Randy's feelings, or lack of, she'd found she didn't really want to live anyway.

That was ungrateful, she knew that, but things were just different for her now without Randy right by her side like he'd always been. She was finding it so hard to look forward to anything, to find any glimmer of hope at the end of the tunnel she was in. Randy didn't love her. Not the way she wanted him to. Now he was struggling to face her because he didn't want to hurt her with the truth.

"So what do you plan to do after the surgery? Going back to work?"

"I don't know. Maybe, but I won't be working as much as I used to. I might make Tammy partner or something, she fuckin' works harder than me!" she answered. "I've been given a second chance to do the things better so I don't want to live like I used to. The past few weeks I've had a chance to reflect on my life and I didn't like what I was. I can be a whole new me now."

"Will you be happy changing that much?"

"Yeah."

She could never go back to being the way she'd been. She'd been selfish and inconsiderate and it had earned her no friends. She wanted to do things that would make her mum and Greg proud of her. And she wanted to make her dad and her new family proud of her.

"No more sleeping around?"

She couldn't even if she tried. There could be no one else for her now, except Randy. If only he loved her back.

"Maybe a little bit," she teased. "You think Dave will be up for it?"

Jeff threw Mr. Chuckles at her and laughed just as the door opened and allowed John in. Randy was right behind him.

As always when she saw him, her heart missed a beat before it started beating triple times, making the blood rush through her body at warp speed and weakening her limbs.

How the hell did he do that? How was it that she had been his friend for most of her life but she was only feeling this now? It hadn't felt anything like this when she'd been sixteen, this was a whole new ballgame for her, a whole new level of consciousness. It was terrifying and exhilarating at the same time.

"Hey, guys," John said as he walked in to drop a kiss on the top of her head.

It occurred to her that she had slept with all these men within a week. She had put that right at the back of her mind the past week since everything had just seemed so unreal, like she was floating in a cloud and her feet quite hadn't touched the ground yet. But now she was feeling a bit awkward.

"Randy's mum's cooked for everyone, so we're heading back now," John said.

"Oh, I'm so jealous now. I'm stuck with this horrible hospital food," she chuckled.

"Randy's coming back, he could bring something if you want."

They both looked at the man in question, only to notice that his eyes were locked on Jeff's. John rolled his eyes and nudged him, bringing Randy's attention back to her.

The look in his eyes killed her. He'd never looked at her like that before, like he hated her

"Randy?" John said. "You'll bring some of your mum's cooking for her, won't you?"

"Sure," Randy said, with a little smile she could totally see through.

"Jeff, you coming with us? You'll have to take the couch, though."

"Thanks, but I'll make my way there later," Jeff answered.

Her eyes were still on Randy's but when Jeff said that, Randy looked away from her and clenched his jaw.

"Alright. We'll get going, then," John said as he kissed her again. "I'll be back bright and early tomorrow."

He moved back to allow Randy to kiss her too, but he just stood awkwardly in the same spot.

"Are you alright?" he asked her softly.

Was he asking if she was alright with the fact that he didn't love her?

How had things gone so wrong? When the doctor had told her the news, then Dr. Harvey had come in to explain in detail what she had, after telling her off for ignoring his calls about it in the first place, and how the treatment was going to go, all she had thought about was how she and Randy would finally be able to be together properly.

"Yeah," she smiled.

"I'll be back in a little while; I'm just going to eat, shower and change," Randy said.

Oh, God. Was this it? Would he want to talk tonight? He wouldn't hurt her so bad just before her surgery, would he? He wasn't that cruel. But if they didn't talk about that, what else could they talk about? Him being so close to her was just messing her up, and if she actually got to be alone with him, she was afraid she would beg him not to leave her.

She couldn't do that to him. His happiness had always come first with her, she couldn't ask him to give her a chance when he didn't really want to.

But they'd had so much chemistry. His touch had brought her to life like nothing else in her entire life had. How could all that have just flown out of the window? Had his responses, his reactions to her only been fuelled and heightened by the death that had hung over her head?

"Um... I'll be alright. I'm not really hungry and Jeff can stay with me tonight," she said quickly.

One thing at a time. She'd deal with one thing at a time. After the surgery, once they knew if she was really going to be alright, maybe she would be strong enough to talk to him.

"Rae...," Jeff said, his voice trailing off as his eyes asked her what the hell she was doing.

"You don't mind, do you?" she asked Jeff. "Randy's tired, he needs a good night's sleep so he's ready for tomorrow."

She couldn't look at him after she said this. Maybe it was a bad idea having Jeff there, but she needed him. Jeff had been her haven before, he still was.

She was being selfish, given it had only been a couple of weeks since Jeff had told her he loved her. And she wasn't stupid, she knew it took time to get over something like that, but she wanted to believe he _would_ get over it and they'd become even better friends. Jeff was an amazing person, a good guy, and she was honoured he was still in her life after what she had done to him.

"Sure," Jeff answered with a little sigh.

She knew he was worried what Randy would think, but there was no need. Randy would probably find it easier to tell her the truth if he thought she had Jeff.

"Um... okay," Randy said, biting down on his lip. "I'll see you tomorrow, then."

He always did that when he was dying to say something but was holding himself back.

Then he did something he hadn't done since forever. He bent down and kissed her... on the cheek. The fuck...? He'd always kissed her on the lips before. Was she going to lose that as well?

"Night, baby," she smiled. "Make sure you eat something, okay?"

Randy nodded with a little smile as he briefly held her eyes. They hadn't really looked at each other since the day her life had changed.

Then he was out of there before she could say anything else, like something was chasing him. Was he really that eager to leave her?

"You have no idea what you've just done, have you?" John asked sadly before turning to follow his friend.

"I've given myself a reprieve," she whispered to herself, answering his question even though the door was now firmly shut behind John.

"I think more like dug your own grave," Jeff put in. "You more or else told him you didn't need him anymore because you have me."

* * *

**AN: So sorry guys for the lack of updates. It's been a very difficult time in the family. We lost a very special woman, way too soon. May she rest in peace. It'll be a while before we recover from that.**

**I'm going to start working on the next chapter now as well as work on the next story, which I've changed a million times till I found something I really like. Hope you'll like it too. I'm getting back in the swing of things; I really hope you're all still here.**

**Can't write it if there's no one reading it, can I? So please leave a review. Let me know what you think.**

**Thank you to everyone who's put me on their favs and alerts and have reviewed the previous chapters. The next chapter will be better, I promise.**


	31. Chapter 31

**Completely unedited as I have to run out and get my son from his playgroup. But enjoy anyway. Two more chapters and this story is done.**

* * *

"Excuse me, Miss Taylor. It's almost midnight and the other patients are trying to sleep," a nurse as said she walked into her hospital room, effectively quietening them down.

She stopped, taken aback when she saw her lying across Jeff on the floor by the wide open windows, giggling like an idiot. Jeff's legs were up on the window sill and he was shirtless, so Rae could understand the nurse's momentary reaction, but she went back to her professional demeanour in seconds.

"I suggest you get some rest as well, your surgery is in the morning," the nurse continued, as if she needed reminding.

The whole purpose of Jeff goofing around with her while they tried their best to gaze at the night sky by the windows had been to make her forget.

"Sorry, ma'am. It was my fault," Jeff said in his sexy Southern drawl, smiling at the woman as he got to his feet and walked to stand in front of her and in the process knocking her composure back a little bit more. "I won't keep her up much longer. Maybe, after she's gone to bed, _you_ can keep me company?"

The nurse scowled, unable to tell if he was just pulling her leg or not. But her eyes didn't leave Jeff's impressive chest for a second.

"It just got a little hot in here," he explained with a smile, causing the woman to blush at being caught out. "So what do you say? You, me and a cup of coffee as soon as you can get away?"

"Just keep the noise down," the nurse muttered before turning to leave.

"Oh, you're good," Rae laughed. "The poor woman didn't know whether to jump you or hit you."

"You know I'm smooth. That's what you fell for in the first place," Jeff stated.

At his words, an uncomfortable silence fell between them. It always did whenever one of them referred to their short lived relationship.

With a tired sigh, she sat herself on her bed, wondering when they'd be able to look back at what they'd had without remembering all the pain she'd caused him.

"I can't do this, Rae."

It was almost a whisper but she heard it, and she didn't insult him by pretending she didn't know what he was talking about.

"I can't keep pretending my heart isn't broken," he continued. "I can't keep pretending I don't hurt everytime you look at Randy the way I want you to look at me. I can't keep pretending my whole world hasn't come crashing down around me. I need time to put myself together again."

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

She had said those words to him a lot lately, when her guilt ate her up over what she had done.

"Don't be," he said with a sad smile, sitting on her bed and facing her. "Everything is as it should be. I knew the end before we'd even begun."

She looked away from his eyes and sighed again. Was she going to lose him, too?

"I'm always going to be here for you, baby. But just give me time," Jeff said, as if he'd read her mind. "I'll never regret meeting you, and when you and Randy have kids, I'm going to enjoy telling them how 'Uncle Jeff' almost got their mum."

She gave a little smile at this, but she couldn't help feeling as if a good part of her otherwise shitty life was coming to an end.

"So you don't want to see me for a while?" she asked sadly.

"I do. I want to see you all the time. But I can't. I'll be here for you after your surgery because I'll worry too much about you if I'm not," he said. "But when you're all better, I'm going to have to take a bit of time to myself. Who knows, maybe in a couple of years you and I will be laughing our heads off about this."

"Maybe you'd have found someone better for yourself by then," she offered.

"Someone better? Impossible," he stated. "But maybe I'll find _someone_."

"I just wish you'd been the one," she whispered, a tear sliding down her cheek.

Jeff's hand found its way to her face, gently brushing the tear away before his palm rested on her cheek.

"So do I. But you'll never be happy without Randy," he smiled sadly.

He pulled her forward until their foreheads touched.

"Hey," he said. "You're not losing me, I've already said that. I'll be back by your side before you know it. I'll be alright."

"Promise?" she asked in a small voice.

She'd known him a short while, but it had been long enough to know she absolutely needed him in her life. Randy or no Randy. She had been wrong to use him, and it was only now she was seeing she _had_ used him. For the sex, for the eye opening experience, for the unmovable support when she absolutely needed him the most.

"I promise," Jeff answered, looking her straight in the eye.

It was right then that she knew he _would_ be alright, that he would do everything he said he'd do, that he'd never leave her. He was a good man; she should never have doubted that.

"I'll always be in your life, darlin'," he said with a small smile.

"I'll be here waiting for you," she whispered.

Then she leaned in and kissed his lips gently. It was a friendly kiss that didn't bring any of the old sparks back for her. And all the guilt she'd felt before over him disappeared when she pulled her lips back from his and he smiled warmly into her eyes.

It was truly finished.

* * *

"Sir, can I help you?"

Randy stared unseeingly ahead of him as he tried to find his way out of the hospital.

"Sir?"

The fuck was wrong with that woman? Couldn't she see he was literally falling apart in front of her eyes? His heart had stopped working and the air just wouldn't get into his lungs, no matter how hard they worked.

"I need to get out of here," he muttered. "I can't be here. I need to go home."

He eventually made it out of the hospital to the taxi bay nearby. He didn't think he could have driven his car back to the house with the way he was feeling.

"Where to, sir?" the taxi driver asked.

"I only came to tell her I love her," he mumbled. "I came to beg."

"Sir?" the driver questioned.

"She lied to me. It's Jeff. It's always been Jeff."

"I meant; where can I take you?" the driver repeated.

He mumbled the address before leaning against the window and closing his eyes, hoping to God he wouldn't just snap right there.

He didn't. Instead he waited until he was safely in the bar at his house. He waited until he'd polished more than half a big bottle of Jack Daniels, straight. He waited until he felt he was numb enough to do minimal damage.

Then he walked slowly to the middle of the room, the bottle still in his hand.

He had no idea where it landed when he angrily threw it but the loud crashing of a window was a damn good indication. One of the bar stools followed it, but he was pretty sure it crashed against the large plasma in front of the games consoles. There was no method to his madness anymore as he suddenly started attacking everything; the bottles of alcohol behind the bar, the pool tables and cue sticks, the sound system, the Wiis, Playstations, X-boxes and Nintendos, all the games that went with it, the gaming chairs.

And for good measure, he made sure that damn duke box never played another song again.

Then when he was done, he calmly walked over to the bar and sorted through the broken glass, uncaring when he cut himself, for an undamaged bottle of whiskey.

It was here that John found him, followed closely by Mark, Ria and Sara. They were all in their bed clothes.

For a full minute, no one said anything as they slowly walked further into the room, pushing broken glass and furniture away with their slipper clad feet, surveying the damage, both the room and the man.

"Randy?" John questioned finally.

Blood was gushing from his hand onto his clothes but he didn't give a shit. He couldn't.

"Hey John," he smiled, as if this was the most normal thing in the world.

"What you doing?"

"Oh... I just thought the place was missing something," he shrugged.

He said no more to explain himself, instead taking another straight swig of the drink.

"I thought you were going to the hospital?" Mark asked.

"Yeah... um... about that," he said as he got up. "I might not make it to the hospital tomorrow... today. Geez, time flies when you're having fun, doesn't it?"

"Randy, what happened?" Mark asked with a worried frown.

"I've made a decision," Randy smiled.

"What?" Ria asked with trepidation.

"I'm moving away. I'm moving far, far away."

* * *

Randy's absence was painfully obvious when they all came in to wish her well the next morning. She let out a sigh. He'd been pretending all along, she got that, but how could he not be there for her, this day of all days?

"He had too much to drink. I couldn't wake him up at all," John said without looking into her eyes.

Bullshit! She could smell that a mile away and John knew it.

She gripped Jeff's hand tighter to stop herself from crying.

"Haven't you done enough already, Hardy?" John said through grit teeth when he noticed it.

"Not nearly," Jeff answered easily, not even flinching when John's cold gaze narrowed on him angrily.

"John," Mark warned, forcing John to break his gaze.

She pointedly gripped Jeff's hand tighter, daring John to say something else about it. After her surgery, it would be a while till she saw Jeff again, so the only way she was letting anyone take him from her side now that Randy wasn't coming was if they physically prised his hand away from her cold, lifeless fingers.

Randy should have been there. He should have put his feelings aside and just been there for her like he promised. The fact still remained that she was having brain surgery. It was less invasive, sure, but there were still so many things that could go wrong. Like the fact that she could be a vegetable when they finally wheeled her out of that operating theatre. He should have been there. He should have just pretended.

"So Maria," she said, trying to deflect her thoughts from Randy. "You finished designing that dress for me? I'm going to need to look hot when I go out for the first time after this, you know, to maintain my rep and all."

Ria smiled as she took her hand. It was the first friendly gesture the girl had made to her since she'd slept with her man.

"Yes, it's all done. And I've designed a few more for you, I'll show them to you after your surgery," Ria answered.

"The girl is very talented," Sara put in. "I've made her design something for me as well."

"Yeah, she's a very clever girl," she agreed with a smile.

"Thanks," Ria said with a faint blush.

"Are you alright?" she asked her.

She knew Ria would know what she was really asking. Was she alright with John now? Was she alright with her?

"Yeah," the girl answered, her smile widening.

"John, why don't you try Randy's phone again. They'll be prepping her soon," Mark suggested softly.

She didn't miss the look that passed between the two men before John let himself out of the room. Something was happening that they didn't want her to know. But she already knew what it was. Randy wasn't hungover. He wasn't coming at all.

"So when are the kids coming down to keep me company?" she asked Sara, desperate to keep the depressing thoughts at bay.

"In a few days, after you've rested," Sara answered.

"I've been resting all week," she grumbled.

"If you give us any lip again, I'll make it a whole month before I let you out of bed," Mark teased as he walked to stand next to Ria.

"I bet you'll do that anyway," she smiled.

His hand covered both hers and Ria where they were still entwined and his smile disappeared to be replaced by his serious face.

"You'll be alright, you know, baby," he said. "In a couple of weeks, I'm officially on vacation, we can go wherever you want for a little vacation."

"I know I'll be alright," she lied with a smile.

"You will be," Jeff said firmly next to her.

Obviously, he saw through her completely, he saw her fears. Randy would have been able to see them too. Randy would have read her mind, known exactly how she was feeling without her having to say anything.

The door opened; Dr. Harvey and the other doctor who'd broke the news to her walked in. John still hadn't returned with word on Randy, but she pushed the thought out of her mind. She had to let Randy go, let him be free. It was time.

* * *

"Get your ass here, now," John hissed through the phone. "If you bail on her now, you'll only have yourself to blame if she never forgives you."

_"I said I'm not coming, John. She has you guys, she'll be fine."_

"They're taking her in, in the next half hour. Don't do this. You know what the risks are as well as I do. When she wakes up, she might not be the same Rae we know."

_"Is Hardy still there? Coz I can't guarantee his safety if he is."_

"Hardy is only here because you're being a dick! If you stop what you're doing and get here before she goes in, you can tell her how you really feel and stop this madness."

A chuckle sounded over the phone amid a lot of cluttering while Randy packed some of his stuff away.

_"So, I'm only taking the things I need," Randy said as if he hadn't spoken. "I'll get the rest another time. My family there yet?"_

"No," John sighed. "You're making the biggest mistake of your life, Randy. Don't throw your relationship away without the full story."

_"She had her fucking tongue down Hardy's throat! I think I got the gist of the story, thanks."_

Sighing again, he saw the doctors walk into Rae's room.

"Half hour Randy. Be here. Please."

Then he hung up. There was nothing else he could do.

* * *

She was clutching Jeff's hand in one hand and Mark's in another as they wheeled her down the long corridors that led to the OR. And she was trying her best not to cry. He was supposed to be there.

"I hope you all know that as soon as I get out of there, I expect a fucking good meal at my table. They haven't let me eat anything since yesterday," she said, trying to lighten the mood.

In the past half hour or so, there seemed to be a million other people that had turned up to wish her well. Matt had come to stand by his brother, Dave had come with him. The Ortons, minus Randy, Tammy. Glen had even come to offer his tv brother and good friend his support. It kinda put to rest her theory that there would have been only three people at her funeral, had she carried out her silly plan.

"Tammy, you signed all the necessary papers, right? Will you be okay?"

"Don't worry about any of that now," Tammy answered. "We'll talk when you come out."

But she needed to say it all. Who was to say if she'd wake up again after the surgery?

"Dad, Mr Chuckles is still in my room. Keep him safe," she said, just in case they were the last instructions she got to give.

"He'll be in good hands," Mark smiled, looking down at her. "He'll be the first thing you see when you wake up, baby."

"Right, only staff allowed through these doors," one of the men pushing her said when they were finally in front of it.

"Wait!" she called out in a panic. "John?"

He was by her side in an instant.

"Why isn't he here?" she whispered. "Why isn't he here like he promised he would?"

She needed to know. Had she meant that little to him, even as a friend?

John was about to answer, to lie, but he paused when he caught something at the end of the hall.

"He is," he answered.

And sure enough, a few moments later, a very dishevelled but sober Randy appeared right next to her. Everyone else moved back a little to allow him as much privacy as they could give in the crowded hallway.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

"No, I am," she said quickly.

After all, if she had never given into her heart, they wouldn't be in the situation they were in now. There would have been none of the lies, the heartache.

"You're going to make it through this," he whispered.

"I'm sorry sir, but we really have to get her to the OR, now," someone interrupted.

He let out a frustrated sigh, like he had so much more he wanted to tell her, but they started wheeling her in again.

On an impulse, he leaned over and kissed her. Hard. It felt almost like a branding, and for once since the whole nightmare started a week ago, she had real hope that she hadn't imagined things.

"Goodbye, baby," he called out sadly.

* * *

The second the doors closed and his baby was wheeled away to duel with her fate, Randy turned his eyes on the group of people behind him until he met the eyes of the man he'd been looking for.

He had no right to feel this angry over what Jeff had done, after all, Rae had been Jeff's girl before she'd been his. But he still wanted to murder the guy. He'd had it all, he'd had her... but that freak had snatched it out of his hands.

He continued to stare down the man, imagining all sorts of methods he could use to torture him. In his mind, he'd already killed him a million different ways. This man had what he wanted, what he needed. This man had what he could never have.

"Randy, calm down," he heard John warn as he came to stand next to him.

Calm down? He _was_ calm. He wasn't going to touch him, no matter how much he wanted to. Jeff was the man Rae had chosen. She would hate him if he did anything to hurt Jeff, and he really didn't want that.

But that wouldn't stop him from seeing all the blood on his hands from cutting Jeff up into a million pieces in his head.

"Jeff, maybe you should go for a little bit," Matt suggested to his brother.

"Rae needs me," the freak answered.

At Jeff's words, he started imaging using HHH's sledgehammer to bash his little head in until his skull cracked then smashed into a million pieces. That brought a little smile to his lips. God, the things he wanted to do to this man...

"I'm going to have to ask all of you to move to the waiting area," someone said from the side, but his eyes never moved from Jeff's.

"Let's get your hand looked at, Randy. You cut it pretty bad last night," John said.

Had he? He couldn't remember. He felt no pain from it, the only pain he felt was the growing hole in his chest.

He roughly shrugged John's hand from his shoulder. He was partly to blame for the way he was feeling; him and Mark with their stupid talk about how anyone could see how much Rae loved him. Well, they needed their eyes checked! Stupid bastards.

"Lets go sit down, Randy. When Rae gets out, you can sort all of this out," Ria suggested, moving forward to take his good hand.

When Rae got out, he didn't plan to be here. Why should he be? To watch Jeff at her side telling her how he'd never leave her? To watch Jeff promise her a future that should have been his and hers? He couldn't do it.

He stepped closer to Jeff, his head cocking to the side as he wondered what the hell Rae had seen in the prick in the first place.

Jeff didn't flinch, even when he brought his face only inches from his.

"Randy," Mark growled in warning as he pushed him away.

God, why were they all on the freak's side? He'd stolen from him. He'd messed with his entire existence.

"Mum?" he said, even though his eyes were still on Jeff's.

"Yes, dear. I'm here."

He heard his mother's soothing voice from his side and it was enough to pull him away momentarily from the torture going on in his head.

"Will you make me some of you cookies?" he asked.

Those always did the trick. She would bake for him, cook for him and take care of him. She would make the pain go away. It was her job

He missed the confused looks that passed across everyone's faces at this, but it didn't matter. They would never understand his pain.

"Sure, sweetheart," his mum smiled.

He smiled back. Why couldn't every woman be more like his mother? That woman was an angel.

"You'll make sure she's okay, too, won't you?" he asked seriously as she started to lead him away.

"She'll be fine, sweetheart."

He was glad she didn't suggest that he could visit her as soon as she came out.

"Randy? You'll be fine, too," Ria said softly.

He smiled at Ria and prayed she was right. Because he could see absolutely no way out of the hell he had created for himself.

"I'll be at my mum's," he said to her. "You can send my stuff there."

"You're still moving?" John questioned.

"Of course," he said with a frown.

He'd come here and done what he needed to do. He'd apologised for holding her back, for keeping her away from the man she loved. Now it was time to move on.

* * *

**Thank you for you reviews. Glad to know you haven't given up on me.**


	32. Chapter 32

"Ethan, could you go post this for me today? It's kinda urgent," Randy said as he dropped an envelope on his brother's lap then walked out of the den to the kitchen.

"I'm going to leave your dinner in the fridge tonight, sweetheart," his mother said as he got a beer from the fridge. "Mark and Sara invited us out for a few drinks and a meal to get Rae out of the house...."

Her voice trailed off when she realised what she'd just said. Besides knowing if she was really okay after the surgery, he hadn't even wanted Rae's name spoken in the house.

His jaw clenched a little but he let out a little smile for his mother's benefit.

"It's okay, mum," he lied. "I'm sure I can survive without you for one night."

It wasn't as if every meal she had placed in front of him so far hadn't been wasted, anyway.

He didn't let his mother say anything else as he turned and made his way out back to the swing chair.

A month. A whole month of torture.

Rae had been home a whole month and he'd had to force himself not to walk from his parent's gate to hers. It was killing him. He couldn't do it anymore. Just another week and he'd be free from all this. It would be a hell of a way easier to fight temptation when he was half way around the world. He'd found a little place somewhere in the middle of nowhere, his agent was in the process of finalising the deal. As soon as the old owners moved, it would be ready for him to move into straight away. He was just counting the hours now.

He lit a smoke and drew heavily on it as he thought again how shitty his life had gone the past few weeks. From the terrifying thought of losing Rae to cancer to actually living the nightmare of losing her to another man. He was torn inside, broken. And there was no way to put himself together again. He wasn't stupid, he knew that once he moved he would still feel the way he was feeling; but he needed to get as far away from Rae as possible.

He would die a miserable shit, but it didn't matter because she was happy with Jeff.

"What's this?" Ethan asked as he walked out to join him.

"A letter," he answered, pointing out the obvious.

"Don't be asmart-ass, I can see it's a letter. But it's addressed to Vince," Ethan said as he sat down next to him.

"It's my resignation."

"What?! Why?"

"I can't work for him anymore," he answered, pulling on his smoke again.

"Because of Rae? God, Randy! This shit has gone on long enough. All you've been doing is walking around here like a fucking zombie, drinking yourself to sleep every night and being a fucking pain everytime someone mentions Rae's name," Ethan snapped. "Just go over there and talk to her already."

"I can't."

"Because she chose Jeff over you, yada yada," Ethan mocked. "Yes, you've told us this a million times. But I've been to see Rae, and___"

"I don't want to know," he cut in.

"___ and she's miserable, too," Ethan continued, ignoring him.

"Of course she's miserable. I've ended a friendship older than dirt, that's bound to affect her. But she'll get over it."

Ethan sighed as he sat back in the chair, obviously frustrated with trying to knock the same thing into him over and over again. It probably didn't help that he'd been drinking from the minute he'd got up.

"You could end all this by just talking to her," Ethan tried again.

At this, he turned to look at his brother and sighed.

"You don't get it, do you?" he started. "I love her. I love her that much that every minute I'm up, and even when I'm asleep, I'm thinking of her, dreaming of her. Every minute I'm sitting here and not down the road with her, my insides are twisting up; my breath is coming slow and painful, and my heart feels like it stopped beating. I'm craving her. Every ounce of me is aching; screaming at me, begging me to just go over there and hold her, kiss her, touch her one last time. I see her everywhere, I feel her everywhere and on those rare occasions when I get to sleep, I dream of her and can even taste her. I can't breathe without her, I can't eat without her, I can't do anything. I'm hurting."

"So talk to her."

"She threw me away. She chose Hardy," he sighed. "I told her how I feel and she went with it because she thought she was dying. But now she knows she's not, she's not going to waste her time with me."

Ethan sighed again before he muttered something about smashing his head in with a shovel under his breath as got up.

"Okay, so move out already. Stop making everyone else miserable with your bullshit. Rae is just there, just down the road. If you think Jeff stole her, then fight for her, you dickhead. If you don't, if you just sit there and feel sorry for yourself, you don't deserve her at all."

"Don't say that."

"But it's true. You're sitting there telling me how you're just dying without her when all you're admitting is that you're just a big coward. You're not man enough to tell her to her face why you're doing this so you're definitely not man enough for her."

"I said stop it."

"You say Jeff stole her? Good. She's better off without a snivelling little bastard like you anyway."

He supposed he should have got up and knocked Ethan's teeth out, but he couldn't feel any anger at his brother's words. He couldn't feel anything.

"Just go post the letter, Ethan," he sighed.

* * *

Rae stood in front of the mirror in her room and sighed. She looked a mess. Her make-up didn't quite cover the bags under her dead eyes, or her sunken cheeks. And even though the little blue dress she wore was beautiful, she felt it was just hanging on her like a sack.

Sara had made an effort with her hair, though. It had been greasy as fuck and stringy because she hadn't felt like washing it the past month, but now it hung glossy and full down her back. She thought it was her only saving grace.

Why were they trying to force her to go out anyway? Couldn't they understand what she was going through? She was dead inside, yet they expected her to pretend she was alright. To put a smile on her face like what she'd gone through, what she _was_ going through wasn't worth shit.

"Liz and Bob are here," Sara said from her doorway. "Oh, sweetie, you look so gorgeous."

"Thanks," she said, even though she didn't buy that.

How were they expecting her to sit through a night with the Ortons? They had been to see her almost every single day, and Ethan everyday when he was home from work, but she hadn't heard a single word about Randy.

Was he alright? Had he moved on? Why hadn't he called her? Why had he kissed her they way he'd done before she'd gone in for her surgery only to disappear from her life? Why couldn't he just come home? She would tell him then, that Jeff wasn't her boyfriend. Even though she doubted it would make a difference. Maybe she should have listened to Jeff when he'd said she was making Randy jealous, but deep down she knew that wasn't the reason he had stayed away.

She knew how he got when he was jealous. The first thing he would have done was kicked Jeff's teeth in. Then he would have claimed her as his own.

No, Randy wasn't jealous. He'd just used Jeff as an excuse to stop loving her.

Randy had made his choice and it wasn't her. All those years together as the best of friends had meant nothing to him. A whole month she'd been home from the hospital, yet he hadn't even come to see her. He hadn't even called. And he hadn't had his fucking phone on.

If that didn't spell out, 'Stay the fuck away from me,' then she didn't know what did.

"I'll be down in a second," she whispered as that thought speared her in her heart.

Sara nodded and walked out of the room.

She waited until she was sure the other woman was out of earshot she slid down to the floor and let out a silent cry.

Why was he doing this? He'd told her he loved her... He'd told her he'd never leave her... He'd lied.

"Rae?"

She heard John's voice from the doorway and quickly wiped her tears away.

"Baby, don't cry," John said as he quickly joined her on the floor.

"Why did he lie to me?" she cried. "Why is he hurting me like this?"

"Hush, baby. Please," John said as he held her tightly in his arms.

She knew John wouldn't have been able to answer her questions. Randy had refused to see him as well since the day of her surgery.

"I can't go out," she whispered. "I can't face being out there right now."

"I'll tell Mark," he nodded as he kissed the top of her head.

He wiped her tears and gave her a little smile before he got up to leave the room.

She didn't know where she would have been without John. Soon after she'd got home from the hospital, they'd finally been able to talk about that night and lay a few demons to rest. She understood why that night had happened. John had sensed what she had been trying to tell him and had acted on his fear. It was exactly the same thing Randy had done.

With Jeff out of the picture for a while and Randy out for... well, forever, he'd been the only person she'd been able to really talk to. He'd been the one who'd stayed up with her late at night and let her cry her heart out. He'd given up his free time for her; rather than going home on his days off, he'd been coming to hers.

It helped a little, but it still didn't stop her feeling like her heart had been wrenched out of her body; like she would never ever be able to really breathe again.

* * *

Randy waited about an hour after his family had gone out before he left his parents' house. He didn't really need anything from his house... Rae's house, but from the moment his mother had told him they were all going out, he'd felt this need to be close to Rae. Even if he was only close to her stuff.

It was pathetic really, what she had reduced him to, but there was nothing he could do. He _needed_ to be close to her.

The house was in total darkness, except for the security lights, as he walked up the driveway, just as he'd expected.

What was he really doing there? Was he not hurting enough? How would it help him, to be there again? And what did he really expect to do? Sniff her panties? He was being a jerk. He wasn't supposed to be there. He had to turn back, before he made a fool of himself.

Well, before he made a bigger fool of himself. He was already a fool for loving someone who belonged to another.

"Go home, Randy," he whispered to himself, his hand on the door handle.

'_Don't be a dick. Put your hands above your head. Step away from the fucking door. It's over. It's fucking done. Just go,' _he thought to himself. But he turned that damned handle anyway.

He'd never been too smart when it came to Rae. He'd had plenty of time to think about it over the past few weeks; to think about all the years he and Rae had been inseparable. He'd bent to her every wish, hung on her every word without even realising it. Even as a toddler, he would have protected her with his life. He would have, and had done anything to make her happy. He had blindly followed her everywhere. And he'd been happy doing it.

His life had always been centred on her. No wonder Cena and Mark had told him they could see he was in love with her from miles away.

He pushed the door open and slowly walked in. Everything seemed as he had left it. There was no indication anywhere that a black cloud had settled over anything, the way it had settled over him. He didn't know why he expected to see anything different, it wasn't as if she was heartbroken over him or anything like that. And besides, she'd had people all around her, taking care of her since her surgery. There would have been no heaps of dirty clothes, no dirty dishes, no dust, anyway.

With a sigh, he walked switched the lights on and walked down the hall slowly to the kitchen. The place was neat and tidy as always, everything was in place. He started remembering the old days, soon after they had moved in together. They'd cooked together, ate together and washed up together, usually among a lot of laughter and joking about. No, life had never been dull with her there.

He pushed open the side doors and looked over the back yard. They'd had plenty of parties here; they'd shared so many guilty pleasures in that very swimming pool. He'd lost count of the women they'd had in there, and only now he'd admitted to himself why those women had always been so good. Only because Rae had been there. Only because touching her, kissing her had heightened all his other senses.

It had been her all along. It had always been her.

He hadn't been with any women since she had got with Jeff when she had been on the road with them, and for once in his life he hadn't wanted to.. It seemed such a long time ago now, but that was when he had started losing her. He should have just seen it then, should have seen how deeply in love he was with her. He would have then stopped whatever she'd had going on with Jeff before it had got the chance to grow. It would have saved him a lot of heartache.

With another sigh, he walked back into the house. Maybe coming here had been a bad idea after all.

* * *

He led Rae down the stairs, her little hand in his as she followed him blindly.

He paused briefly when he saw the hall light on.

"You okay, John?" Rae asked when she noticed.

"Yeah," he smiled. "Why don't you go sit down and I'll bring us some beer and plenty of junk food? Put some music on or something."

"Okay," Rae shrugged.

She'd changed into a pair of sweats and a little t-shirt and scrubbed the make-up off her face, but her eyes and nose were still red from crying. He saw her lips curl into a little smile for him before she let go of his hand and walked ahead.

He watched her walk into the den and the smile left his face. He was pretty sure he'd switched all the lights off and locked the door after Taker, Sara and the Orton's had gone out. Someone was here.

He walked over to the door, and sure enough, the handle turned easily and the door opened.

Only one other person had a key.

Biting down on his jaw and clenching his fists, he locked the door again before he made his way to the kitchen.

And sure enough, he came face to face with the one man who was causing all the misery his dear friend was going through.

The younger man looked shocked when he saw him but he said nothing at all. And he looked absolutely pathetic, like he hadn't slept or eaten in weeks. Or had a good wash. His eyes were bloodshot, he had stubble on his chin, his hair had grown some and was all spiky and messy... and he could smell alcohol on his breath.

He'd been waiting for this moment for weeks, waiting for when he finally got his hands on him and literally kicked some sense into him. But looking at his friend now, all his anger left him. Randy was doing no better than Rae was. It was his fault entirely, of course, through his misguided conviction that what he'd witnessed the night he'd returned to the hospital had been anything but innocent.

When Mark had finally let Rae get out of bed, she'd seen the now almost empty game room and asked what had happened. He'd had no choice but to tell her why Randy had done that. He'd told her Randy had been jealous of Jeff, and the first thing she'd done was try to call him to explain. The bastard hadn't had his phone on since the day he'd last seen them. And of course, he hadn't been accepting any visitors. He'd flat out cut everyone out of his life.

Idiot. Everything would have been sorted by now if he had just come to talk to her. According to the Ortons, he turned downright nasty if anyone tried to talk about her. Now he had Rae thinking he didn't love her when it was so obviously not true.

"You should have called her," he said.

Randy just clenched his jaw and looked away.

"You've been a prick, you don't deserve her at all," he continued. "I don't know how you live with yourself, knowing how you've treated her. What, was she another one of your love 'em and leave 'em hoes? Did you get with her just because she was dying?"

He knew none of this was true, but he wanted to get a reaction out of him.

And he did.

"She got with _me_ because she thought she was dying," he hissed angrily.

"Oh? Really? She said that, did she?"

"She didn't need to. I know that girl better than any of you. She would have done anything to cheer me up."

"Is that why you have your phone off? Why you won't see anyone? Because you think we're all trying to feed you bullshit?" John asked calmly.

"Because I don't want her to call me and tell me we can still be friends," Randy hissed again. "I can't be her friend, John. It would kill me."

He walked past Randy to the fridge and grabbed a six pack before finding a bag of potato chips and a box of chocolates in a cupboard.

"She dials your number a million times each day," he said once he was facing his friend again. "But I don't think she's looking to be friends."

He saw a glimmer of something in his eyes but Randy quickly looked away from him.

"She... she's been trying to call me?" Randy asked.

"Everyday," he confirmed.

"Everyday when Hardy wasn't there?" he asked bitterly.

"She hasn't spoken to Jeff since she left the hospital."

There. He'd said it. The one thing Randy needed to know but had refused to listen to. Little annoying shit. He should have just whipped his butt first like he'd planned to.

"Why?" Randy asked.

Why? _Why?_ This was unbelievable. How could he be so blind to what was going on around him?

"You'll have to ask her that," he answered.

Randy shook his head and started walking out of the kitchen.

"I can't... I have to think about it...."

The moment he said that, music started drifting out of the den. And not just any music, the wailing, broken hearted, 'can't live without you' kind of music. Rae had been playing that song in particular over and over again the past few weeks, so much so he felt like finding Enrique wherever the hell he was and shooting him.

A smile appeared on his lips at the perfect timing when Randy froze in his tracks.

_You, do you remember me?  
Like I remember you?  
Do you spend your life  
Going back in your mind to that time?_

_Because I, I walk the streets alone  
I hate being on my own  
And everyone can see that I really fell  
And I'm going through hell  
Thinking about you with somebody else...._

"She's here," Randy stated, his eyes glued on the entrance to the den that was only a few feet in front of him.

He couldn't see his face but he could bet Randy was panicking, telling himself to get the hell out of there, but frozen in the same spot.

"Oh, yeah. Didn't I say?" he smiled.

_Somebody wants you  
Somebody needs you  
Somebody dreams about you every single night  
Somebody can't breathe without you, it's lonely  
Somebody hopes that someday you will see  
That Somebody's Me ...._

If there was ever a song that was just right for this situation, it was that. Maybe Enrique had some sort of magic after all.

_How, How could we go wrong?  
It was so good and now it's gone  
And I pray at night that our paths soon will cross  
And what we had isn't lost  
Cause you're always right here in my thoughts_

He waited a moment for what always came around about that part of the song, and he wasn't disappointed.

Her soft cry. Her hurting cry. It was always painful to listen to when he couldn't do a damn thing about it. But this man in front of him could.

He saw Randy's hand go up to his chest, like he couldn't stand to hear her pain either.

How had Randy thought he could let go of Rae so easy? They had something many people only dreamt of, _how_ had he thought he could let her go? Even if his fears had been true, even if Rae had somehow chosen Jeff, Randy should have fought for her. Instead of running home to mummy with his tail between his legs.

_Somebody wants you  
Somebody needs you  
Somebody dreams about you every single night  
Somebody can't breathe without you, it's lonely  
Somebody hopes that someday you will see  
That Somebody's Me, That Somebody's Me..._

You'll always be in my life  
Even if I'm not in your life  
Because you're in my memory  
You, will you remember me?  
And before you set me free  
Oh listen, please

Somebody wants you  
Somebody needs you  
Somebody dreams about you every single night  
Somebody can't breathe without you, it's lonely  
Somebody hopes that someday you will see  
That Somebody's Me....

He watched as Randy slowly inched his way forward until he stood by the door. He could still hear Rae crying softly like her heart was breaking all over again.

Then he walked back to the kitchen and quietly closed the door behind him. He hoped Randy sorted this mess out, because if he didn't there was no telling he would do to him.

His beer and snacks still in his hands, he went to sit outside. Just in case they did make up. He didn't want any part of that bit.

* * *

**AN: So Randy has been an ass. (Like most men are when it comes to matters of the heart!) The question is, now that he's there, what the hell is he going to do? Will he say or do anything to redeem himself?**

**The end is nigh, my friends.**

**Thanks to ShannonxMoore'sxLoverx, Cena-holic8, purerandomosity, Bingobaby, hotpocketbandit, grleviathan, Enigmatic Lotus Leaf, Orton Addict, iluvmycena and AngelRose82 for the last 2 chapters. I'm working on the next chapter already.**

**Hope you enjoy. Leave a review please, let me know what you think.**

**Much love.**

**Baybie.**


	33. Chapter 33

**I'm so sorry. I need to be shot! I have no excuse for keeping you waiting this time. I've just been extremely lazy...**

**

* * *

**

Rae was sitting on a couch with her knees to her chest and her head down. Her hair was in her face so he couldn't see her tears, but he could hear her soft crying. He'd always hated it when she cried but this time... this time was hurting him in ways he couldn't describe.

Randy stood by the doorway, unable to move, unable to say anything even though his head was screaming at him to just walk to her and hold her; to make her tears stop and her pain to go away. What was he supposed to do? He had used up all his strength trying to avoid this very situation; trying to avoid being so close to her. He had to run. He had to get out of there.

But he still couldn't move.

He had hurt so badly the past few weeks, just wishing he could see her again. And she was there, right in front of him... The person who made him whole, the other half of him. How in the world was he supposed to live without her? How would he go through each day away from her and still function like a human being? It would be impossible. He'd surely die.

But what other option did he have? She didn't feel the same way about him. It was Hardy she wanted.

So why was she hurting like this when she had what she wanted? She was supposed to be happy. He had stayed away from her because he had truly believed this. Why wasn't she happy? Why hadn't she seen Jeff since her surgery? Had he finished with her? Had he broken her heart? Had Jeff left her in as much pain over him as he, himself, was over her?

Over the past few weeks, his family had tried to tell him something, urging him to just talk to her and clear the air. But he hadn't wanted to listen, he hadn't wanted to hurt anymore than he'd already been. Maybe they had tried to tell him that she was finished with Hardy. Maybe she had tried to call him for the same reason, so that he could come over and pick up the pieces. Which he would have done gladly. He would have done anything to be in her life again.

Rae was sitting there, looking so broken. Without Jeff. Something had happened and that freak was out of her life.

John's words floated into his head and he remembered the brief hope he had felt when he'd heard them.

Had she really said she had only got with him because death had been hanging over their heads? No, but only because he hadn't given her the chance. But what if he had been wrong?

What if he hadn't been wrong about what he'd seen in her eyes when he'd been with her? What if her words had been the truth?

Something else came to him, the words she had spoken after their little fight, when they'd made up on the plane.

"_I'll never forget about you, Randy. You mean everything to me. Whatever happens from here on out, just remember that."_

Had she really meant that? Whatever happened, even her getting with Jeff, did he still mean everything to her? If that was true, then had _he_ done this to her? Had he caused all this pain?

_Had_ he been wrong?

No. He couldn't have been. He had given her exactly what she'd wanted. But now, obviously, what she'd wanted hadn't wanted her.

He felt his heart beat louder at the thought. Did this mean he had a chance? She was crying like this over that painted freak, but maybe in time, she would forget about him. Maybe he could wipe Hardy right out of her heart. He loved her more than anything, surely that meant he had love enough for both of them? Ethan had told him to fight for her. He would.

Damn it, he was _not_ going to walk away from her! The hell had he been thinking to believe he could? Jeff Hardy could go screw himself! Rae was his. She had always been his. He would stay here and fight for her until she was back in his life the way he wanted her. For good.

Now all he had to do was make her see it, too. She would see how happy he would make her, she would see that what Hardy felt for her would never _ever_ compare to what _he_ felt.

Only he had to do it differently this time. He had to do it right.

"Baby..." he whispered.

Rae looked up straight away, as if he had actually shouted her name very loudly. He could tell she was shocked to see him there, like she had already resigned herself to never ever seeing him again. Those damn tears were still on her face, her sad face with its dead eyes. And his head was still screaming at him.

"_Go over there. Get on your knees. Beg, you stupid fuck!"_

But he couldn't. He had to talk to her first, to make sure she understood perfectly who she belonged to.

Quickly, Rae wiped her tears then lowered the volume of the stereo before she looked back up at him expectantly. She didn't say a word.

He swallowed nervously and took a step into the room.

"_That's it, Randy. A few more steps and you could nail that shit right there on the couch."_

He shut the voices out. Sex wasn't going to solve the problem. Not this time. In fact, if he'd ignored the voices in the first place, he would have spent more time telling her how he felt, hammering it in, and showing her in other ways what she meant to him. And he would definitely never have misunderstood the signals she had sent to him. He would have seen that she'd been pretending, and then used all his skill to turn really her head. Hardy would never ever have re-entered the picture.

He bit down on his jaw and took another step in.

"Can I come in?" he asked nervously.

Being so close to her was messing him up. His body had been calling for her since even before the surgery; it would have been the easiest thing to do to just show her how he felt. Right there on the couch. And the coffee table. Maybe even in the next room, on the bar counter...

"Yeah," Rae whispered.

He squashed his line of thought again as he walked in. He felt Rae's eyes on him the whole time until he finally sat on the couch opposite her, putting as much distance between them as he could.

"_Pussy!" _his head said, but he ignored it again.

"How've you been?" he asked.

Rae looked away from him and let out a humourless chuckle.

"Do you really care?" Rae asked bitterly.

"How can you even ask me that?" he asked softly.

"Because everything you've led me to believe about our friendship has turned out to be bullshit."

"I've never lied to you," he frowned.

Rae didn't answer him, but he could tell she didn't believe him.

"It's true. You mean everything to me; I could never lie to you."

"Then where the hell were you when I needed you the most?" she asked, looking straight into his eyes.

He looked away from her, guilt filling his heart. No matter how angry he'd been at Jeff, no matter how heartbroken , he should have stuck right by her side like he'd promised.

"I'm sorry. I saw you and Jeff together and flipped out. I shouldn't have left you, but you had Jeff there... You two have something special, I couldn't come between that, not after the scare we had with the cancer," he admitted.

But he would now. Even if she'd been sitting there hoping Jeff would come back to her.

Rae looked up at him like he'd said the most stupid thing in the world and he frowned. Surely she could understand why he stayed away from her. It had been wrong, yes, but he was completely justified.

"I saw you and Jeff, the night before your surgery," he explained. "After you'd told me you didn't need me."

"You saw what you wanted to see. You'd been looking for a reason to stay away even before that," Rae said sadly. "Look, I don't blame you, I just... I need to know why you're doing this."

"This?" he questioned with a little frown, getting completely confused by her statement.

Of course he'd seen and heard what really happened. Their little promises to each other and then that heartbreaking kiss had been burned in his head and branded on his heart. There had been a lot of tension in that room that night, he'd felt it even from the doorway where he'd stood. He was willing to bet Hardy would have done her right there and then if they weren't in a hospital room.

Rae closed her eyes and let out a tired sigh.

"I've been waiting for you to come back for what seems like forever," she said sadly. "I'd planned everything I was going to say to you. But it's all flown out of my head now. I just want... I hope you're happy."

"I'm miserable," he admitted without a second thought.

"I'm sorry. I never meant to make your life difficult," she said sadly.

Difficult wasn't even the word, he thought. She'd made his life a living hell by pretending to have feelings for him that went beyond their normal friendship. But all that was going to change now.

"It's a small price to pay if it means you forgive me for not being there for you when you needed me," he said quietly.

"You still want to be friends?" she asked quickly, like she was surprised.

Friends? Sure, they could go with that. Being friends had been the last thing on his mind when he'd been trying to run away from her. Now it would serve his purpose perfectly.

"Yes," he answered with a little smile at her.

She smiled back at him like he'd just offered her a billion dollars.

It suddenly didn't matter that she'd put him through hell. She was smiling at him again. She was letting him into her life again.

"Are you moving back in?"

"No," he answered regrettably, looking away from her when her face fell.

He wanted to do things right, this time. That meant he couldn't move back in just yet.

"Oh," she said. "Will you have your phone on?"

"I'll find it as soon as I get to mum's," he answered.

"Okay."

He looked back at her to see her head was down again, with her hair falling into her face. She was trying not to cry again.

"_Don't be a dick, Randy. Go to her. She vulnerable, she'll be like putty in your hands. What difference will it make, doing her now or doing her later. And you know you're going to do her,_" the voice said again.

Well, not with him looking and smelling the way he was. He couldn't remember the last time his dad had managed to force him into the shower.

"Um, I'm going to go," he said quickly as he got up when he thought her heard a sniff.

Her tears had always been his weakness. He couldn't give in now, it would mess everything up.

"Bye," she said softly.

He paused by the doorway to look back at her and caught her looking at him with those sad eyes again.

"Are you free tomorrow?" he asked, using every ounce of will power he possessed to stop himself from walking back to her.

"Um... yeah. Why?"

_Because I'm going to show you that you belong to me_, he thought.

"No reason," he smiled. "Bye, Rae."

He had a lot of work to do, but he wasn't going to complain. He was fighting for his life here. So he wasn't about to lose.

As he walked back home, he had a smile on his lips, the first smile in a long, long time.

* * *

Rae found John by the pool, talking on his phone as he drank a beer and munched on some potato chips. He quickly ended his conversation when he saw her.

"Hey, baby. You alright?" he asked when she finally sat down next to him.

"I don't know," she replied honestly.

"What did he say?"

"I apologised. He said he wants to be friends. Then he left," she shrugged.

It wasn't what she'd hoped for, but it would have to do. When she had planned the conversation in her head, she'd mostly been begging him to love her again, begging him to come back home. She should have.

But 'friends' would have to do. She couldn't stand not having him close, not seeing his face, hearing his voice...

"Wait. _You_ apologised? What for?" John asked incredulously.

"For falling in love with him," she answered. "None of this would have happened if I hadn't."

John swore under his breath and grabbed another beer.

"You guys didn't talk, did you? I knew it. I should have come in there and knocked your heads together," he snapped with irritation.

"We did," she argued. "I've told you all this before, John. What you think Randy felt for me was all in your head. But we're friends again now, so at least that's something."

John said nothing. He looked straight ahead and ignored her while he popped a chip into his mouth.

She just shook her head and grabbed one of the beers on the table. Couldn't he understand? She knew Randy better than anyone, even his whole family. If he loved her, she would know about it.

And if there had been just a tiny flicker of love in his eyes a few minutes ago, she would have been down on her knees begging like a little fucker.

"So what happens now?" John asked finally. "Is he moving back in?"

"No. And I don't know where we go from here," she answered.

"You should have told him all those things you've been waiting to say," John said quietly, shaking his head.

"How do you know I didn't?" she asked.

He faced her, not even a hint of a smile on his face as he said, "Because if you had, he would have realised what a big misunderstanding you two have had. Then there was no way he would have walked out of that door tonight."

She grunted at that and took a swig of her beer.

"Just be happy for me, will you?" she said. "I have my friend back."

Her phone vibrated in her pocket, alerting her of a new message. She almost choked on her beer when she saw who it was.

"_Phone back on. Will never have it off again, you'll always be able to reach me. I promise. I'm glad I have you back. I missed you so much. xoxoxo rko."_

A little smiled played on her lips as she showed John the message.

"See. Everything will be back to normal soon," she said. "It'll be like the past few weeks never happened."

"You really think you can be just friends again?" he grunted, disbelieving.

"We've done it before," she shrugged.

"Oh, come on, Rae. Be honest with yourself. It's different this time. How many nights have you cried on my shoulder over him? How many times have you told me you felt like dying just because he wasn't there? And just this night, you cried your little heart out, breaking it all over again. So don't fuckin' sit there and tell me being friends will be alright for you," he snapped. "You'll never look at him the same. This isn't kid's stuff, it's the real deal. He's your 'one', the 'one', and you know it."

She sighed and looked away from him. He was right, she would always love Randy.

But there was just nothing she could do.

"Wanna go watch a movie?" she sighed again, ignoring his statement.

So what if she'd felt like dying the past few weeks? Randy was back in her life now, and soon she'd be able to breathe again. She'd be alive again. Even if he didn't love her the way she loved him, she was never going to give him a reason to leave her again. So she was never going to say those three little words that had brought her all this pain ever again.

"Yeah, go on," John sneered. "Ignore what I said all you want. It won't make it any less true and it certainly won't make it go away."

"I'll go pick the movie, shall I?" she said quickly as she got up.

"If you two don't talk about this, it'll only end badly. Trust me on that one, Rae. You both need to clear the air," John called after her. "Even if he comes back, even when you two end up falling into bed together again – which, trust me, is inevitable – if you have all these insecurities running through your head, eating you up, IT WILL NEVER WORK."

That last part he shouted at her just as she closed the door behind her. She leaned against it and closed her eyes, feeling very tired already from fighting a battle that had only just started.

How the hell would she do this? How would she pretend the sun didn't shine out of Randy's ass? Would she be able to look at him without it being so disgustingly obvious in her eyes? And what if what John said was true? What if he started sleeping with her again? The sex had been of the charts, maybe would Randy want to do it again, since he was such a sex addict. Maybe between the millions of other girls he'd do while on the road.

She shook her head as she opened her eyes and pushed herself away from the door. No, Randy wouldn't sleep with her again, not after what had happened. He wouldn't want to get into that awkward situation again with her blurting out how much she loved him.

John didn't know what he was talking about.

Satisfied with her reasoning, she started going through the dvds she had, hoping to find a horror or something to keep her mind off Randy.

* * *

**Special shout out to my reviewers. I swear, the good stuff is coming after this. I want this one done so I can move on to my next one, which I'm loving very much (and no, haven't really been writing that one either, it's mostly all in my head.... sorry.) I had this chapter for a while, but I was keeping it to get the last chapter to flow with it, but hey... sigh. Please review, don't leave me... lol. You guys rock.**


	34. Chapter 34

**Another completely unedited one. Sorry. Got carried away watching the Michael Jackson news.**

Rae was up before the crack of dawn, too excited at the thought of seeing Randy again to sleep. He hadn't said he was coming, but why else would he have asked if she was free that day? She'd had a lot of time to think about the situation due to her sleepless night. John's words had kept ringing through her head until she had realised what a perfect solution it was.

If Randy wanted to be a friend that was fine, but she was going to make sure she lured him back into her bed and fucked him senseless. He'd said himself how sex with her was different from when he slept with all those other girls. He'd felt that connection, too. So she was going to make sure she used that to keep him coming back. Then sooner or later, he wouldn't want to leave at all.

By the time her dad walked downstairs, she was washed, dressed, had breakfast for all of them ready at the table and a huge smile was one her face.

Mark stopped in his tracks when he saw her, a little frown on his face as if he was unable to work out the reason for her change of mood.

"Morning, dad. Coffee?" she asked.

"Um... sure," he replied as he sat down.

"Did you have a good night last night?"

"Yeah. I'm guessing you did, too," he said.

"Very good," she answered.

The frown on his face turned to a scowl.

"With John?!" he asked.

She laughed out loud at that one. Trust her dad to link her mood to sex. With John, no less.

"Relax, dad," she answered. "This house has seen none of that type of action since you moved yourself and the kids in!"

His scowl deepened.

"Or ever. Lets go with that one," she said quickly as she set the last place at the table.

But the scowl remained on his face. She could tell he was trying to work out just what was making her so happy, but she wasn't about to tell daddy dearest how she was planning to pull out her big bag of tricks and use all her arsenal to turn Randy's head for good.

"I'm going to get everyone up," she said as she dropped a kiss on the top of his head.

The doorbell rang before she could get up the stairs and she immediately got butterflies in her stomach. Randy? She hadn't expected him so soon. She still had things to plan; she had to get everyone out of the house so she could be alone with him.

But when she opened the door, she saw the last person she had expected to see.

"Jeff! Oh my God, you're here," she shrieked happily as she bolted into his arms. "I missed you so much, you wouldn't believe it."

"I missed you too, darlin'," Jeff chuckled as he easily picked her off her feet in a bear hug.

"Hello? We're here, too."

She hadn't even noticed the other people standing with him, so she jumped a bit when Matt's amused drawl interrupted her little moment with her dear friend. Matt stood with Ria and Shane, their good friend.

"Sorry, Matt," she said sheepishly as she hugged him, before she hugged the others. "I'm just so surprised. I wasn't expecting this at all."

"We have a show here tonight. We just thought we'd surprise you," Ria smiled sweetly at her as she led them into the den.

"Oh, yeah. John said something like that," she said. "I'm glad you're here. And you're just in time for breakfast."

She delegated Ria the task of getting everyone up, since she was probably just dying to see John, and directed everyone else to the kitchen. Jeff stayed behind, like she knew he would do, and sat himself down on one of the chairs.

"So how've you been?" she asked, not quite sure what this visit meant.

Was he finally over her? Was he back in her life?

"Alright. Could be better but... you know."

"I really didn't think I'd see you so soon," she admitted.

"I just wanted to see how you were doing. We were driving by, it would have been stupid not to stop and say hi," he shrugged.

"So will you be stopping by more often?" she asked hopefully.

"Maybe," Jeff answered. "I mean, if I'm in town I will. I still care about you, so I'd want to know if you're alright."

She wasn't sure how it would work, or if it would work, but she hoped their ill fated relationship wouldn't ruin what could possibly be the best friendship in the world. Next to Randy and John.

He looked different, like he hadn't been taking this too well. God, she hoped he hadn't been hurting as much as she had over Randy. This unrequited love thing was total shit.

"How have you _really_ been?" she asked softly.

"I haven't really had time to think about that, honestly," he answered. "I've been drafted to Smackdown, they've got me on a big push, so hopefully I'll get the belt soon. And I've been talking to Beth."

"Yeah? Are you two...?" she asked hopefully.

She knew how much he had loved Beth, he'd still been hurting when she got into the picture. Even though he'd claimed to love her more than he'd loved Beth, she couldn't really believe that now. What was one week compared to nine or ten years? It was the same with her and Randy. One week with Jeff had only made her see how much Randy meant to her.

"No. We've just been talking. I told her about you, she told me about the prick she cheated on me with," he shrugged. "That's the one thing I never gave her the chance to do after I broke it off with her. I never let her talk. I had no idea how unhappy she'd been before, but she'd still put my feelings first. And she put up with a lot of my crap."

She had no doubt in her mind now that he would go back to her. Maybe they're brief fling had been exactly what he'd needed to see things in perspective.

"Well, you're here now, so I might enjoy it as much as I can," she smiled. "How do you feel about trying my world famous waffles?"

"Sounds good," Jeff smiled back.

* * *

Randy was nervous as fuck when he knocked the door the next morning, a bouquet of white and red roses in his hand. The girl at the shop had assured him Rae would be pleased. Apparently, the red ones were the universal sign of love and the white symbolised unity, purity and some other stuff like that. He'd had no clue, because he'd never bought flowers before. Not even for his dear mother.

He'd had a good soak in the tub, shaved and gone to have his hair cut. And for the first time in a while, he was sober.

This was the first day of the rest of his life; he had to make sure he got it right.

The door opened, unfortunately revealing the Dead Man on the other side.

He swallowed nervously when the man's eyes narrowed coldly on his.

"Um... morning, sir," he started.

"What do you want?" Mark asked.

"Um... Can I talk to you for a minute... sir?"

How had he thought this was a good idea? The man looked ready to kill him; he could actually see smoke coming from his ear and nostrils.

"We're in the middle of breakfast," Mark growled before he turned away.

The door was about to be slammed in his face when he stuck his foot through.

The thing they never told you about this when you saw it on TV was how that shit hurt like a muther fucker. He would have screamed like a little girl if Taker hadn't immediately swung the door wide open and stepped out to put his face an inch from his.

"Unless you want me to break your little punk ass neck for what you've done to my daughter, I suggest you move along," Mark growled.

"Please," he whispered. "I really need you to hear me out."

Maybe it was how pathetic he sounded, maybe it was the sincerity in his eyes, he couldn't be sure; but the Dead Man stepped aside and let him into the house. He let out a breath he hadn't realised he'd been holding as his eyes quickly scanned the hallway, hoping to catch a glimpse of Rea, but the kitchen door was closed.

He heard voices in there, though, and his heart constricted again at the thought of its strongest desire just on the other side of those doors.

Then out of nowhere, he was grabbed by the collar and quickly pushed into the den.

"Talk. And make it quick," Taker growled when he'd closed the door behind him. "And if you waste my time, believe me you won't be walking out of here in one piece."

Maybe he wasn't safe after all. Taker certainly looked unsettled, like he just wanted to finish him off before he got a chance to talk to Rae again.

God, the things people did for love.

Nervously, he cleared his throat again. It was now or never.

* * *

"Where has that man got to?" Sara asked as she covered Mark's food and took it from the table.

"Oh, you know dad. He'd do anything to avoid eating my food," Rae chuckled as she cleaned her little brothers up and helped them off their chairs before they noisily ran out of the room to go and change as she'd instructed them to do.

"What are you talking about? This is the best breakfast ever," Matt said as he took his plate to the sink. "Thank you Rae, I haven't eaten so good in a long time."

"I could tell," she teased, referring to his cleaned plate.

"I'm a big man, I'm allowed to put so much food away," Matt said, defending himself.

"Excuses, excuses," Jeff chuckled as he got up from the table, too.

"You boys don't need to do that," Sara protested when Shane got up as well and started clearing up.

"Ma'am, it's the least we could do," Shane said, easily pushing Sara's protest away. "The three of us will have this kitchen spotless in no time."

"Maybe I should have married a Southern man," Sara chuckled.

Rae looked over at John, who was sitting back in his chair next to Ria with his hands over his stomach and shook her head.

"Shame? Guilt? Anything?" she asked.

"Not a damn thing," John grinned. "If them boys want to clean up, let them. "I'm fine right here."

She chuckled as she took the last of the dishes to Jeff.

"Thanks," she said to him.

"Not a problem," Jeff smiled.

"See. Those boys from the South love doing stuff like that," John called out. "Now, if you excuse us, I think I'm taking this party by the pool. Bring the drinks out, will you Rae?"

Rae shook her head again as she watched John pull Ria outside.

"Yes, Your Highness," she mocked.

"Damn right. And be quick about it, too."

She laughed as she went to do as she was told. John hadn't said anything else about Randy the previous night so she assumed he had given in to her reasoning. She didn't think he'd be shocked, though, when he eventually learned of her new plan.

Since Randy had destroyed the bar, she'd started keeping the drinks in the store cupboard next to the kitchen. She hadn't been exactly in the mood to do any redecorating.

It was still early and she knew all her friends had to work that night so she didn't take out anything strong; just something for a few light mixes and a bottle of crisp white wine. As she was closing the door, Drew and Timmy ran past her and almost knocked her over in their haste to return to their wrestling idols.

"Whoa, boys, slow down," she laughed.

"Rae..."

It was said softly, but she heard it loud and clear. Turning quickly, she saw Randy standing with her dad by the sitting room door. Her heart started pounding loudly in her ears.

How the hell did he do that? How the hell did he look so good? He stood as tall and godlike as ever, maybe even more so now as she couldn't help eating him up with her eyes. His chiselled face, those intense baby blues, the lips that could drive her to the brink and back again... He'd lost a bit of weight lately, but his very toned body still looked perfect beneath the blue shirt he wore. And those jeans... they hugged him up in all the right places; those large, muscular thighs; the bulge between his legs that she just couldn't wait to get her hands on.

He was lethal. She knew straight away that her first plan of remaining just friends would have been shot to shit seconds ago.

She didn't even notice her dad walk up to her to take the bottles she had in her arms from her.

"Hi," Randy said awkwardly.

She opened her mouth to speak but she forgot straight away what she'd been about to say. How did he expect her to think with him looking the way he did? All she could do was drown in those eyes and hope no one ever pulled her out again.

"I got these for you," he said, finally walking to stand in front of her.

It was only when the roses came into her line of vision that she was able to drag her eyes away from his.

"Flowers? Wow," she whispered, knowing Randy had never bought flowers before.

He must have really missed her.

"Thanks, Randy. They're perfect," she said.

Did he even know what they meant, or had he just bought them because they were pretty? She decided to go with the former, just to feed her imagination. She knew he would never have bought anything that was associated with love if he'd known.

"Is that it? I get you flowers and I don't even get a hug? Maybe even a little kiss?"

She looked up at him and saw his signature smirk on his face. Her heart immediately melted. Did he even realise what he was doing to her?

With a little smile of her own, she gladly went into his arms. It had been too damn long since Randy had held her like this; with his huge arms around her lower back, firmly securing her against the hard wall of his body. She put the flowers down on the side table that was next to her so she could savour the moment. Both her hands found their way to the back of his neck while she buried her face in the crook of his neck, breathing his intoxicating scent in.

Her whole body came alive at the contact and she couldn't help holding him a bit tighter. Would it be rude to lure him to her bedroom now, with all those other people in the house?

She couldn't be sure, but she thought she felt him hold her a bit tighter, too.

"I missed you, babe," he whispered.

Oh, God! Was she supposed to take it slow? Would he run off again if she were to rip his clothes off where he stood?

"I missed you, too, baby," she answered.

The kitchen door opened behind her and she almost screamed at the interruption.

"Whoa! Wow. This... Should I kick everyone out?"

It was John. She rolled her eyes and reluctantly let go of Randy all the while thinking of ways to kill John.

"Hey," Randy said, nodding his head to his old friend.

"Hey," John replied, walking towards him. "How you doin'?"

"Good," Randy answered.

John noticed the flowers on the little table; then looked from Randy to her then back to Randy again.

"Flowers, huh?" he asked with a grin.

"Yeah," Randy answered easily.

"You have my blessing, kid," he smiled, lightly punching his arm and giving Rae a wink before he turned to walk away again.

She had missed something, she was certain of that.

"Um.. do you want to come by the pool for a drink or something?" she asked.

She was kind of hoping he'd say no, then pick her up and take her upstairs to ravish her.

"Sure," he said instead.

She picked her flowers up and led him to the kitchen, which was now as spotless as Shane had promised.

"I'll just find a vase for these. I'll be with you in a minute."

As he walked away from her, she couldn't help looking at his butt. Some would argue that there was a definite _lack of_ butt, but that was the sexiest derriere she'd ever laid her eyes on. She had to bite her bottom lip to stop herself from groaning out loud.

* * *

Shit, this friend thing was a lot harder than he'd first thought. If he was to take her upstairs right now and make love to her, would she really say he hadn't courted her? He'd bought the flowers, wasn't that enough?

He was only a man, damn it! He wasn't designed for such self control!

As he stepped out, a loud laugh caught his attention, followed by Drew and Timmy's delighted squeals.

No! No! Noooo! The fuck was Hardy doing there? He wasn't supposed to be anywhere in the picture. He broke her heart... he left her... why the fuck had she let him talk his way back?

His eyes narrowed angrily as he stopped in his tracks. He'd made all these big plans, and none of them had taken into account the fact that Hardy could pop up any time. Why the hell had Mark let him go through what he had, when he'd known what lay on the other side of the kitchen door all along?

"Randy, come on," John called out. "I've got a cold beer here just for you."

John's bellowing brought attention he really didn't need, not since he couldn't take his eyes off the man who'd ruined his life. He still wanted to kill him.

What would his chances with Rae be if he maybe drowned the freak in the pool? Would he still be able to win her over? Probably not.

Shit! Shit! Shit!

"Randy, are you alright?"

It was Ria this time. He dragged his eyes away from Jeff's to give her a fake smile.

"Of course," he lied.

Rae came out just then to stand next to him with the biggest smile on her face. She'd already been in a good mood before she'd noticed him standing with her dad. Now he knew why.

He looked away from her quickly to look over the faces around him. John, Ria, Matt and Shane were sitting together, just looking at him. Matt seemed worried but John had the stupidest grin on his face. Mark sat in the shade close to where his little boys were playing with Jeff. All he did was raise his beer at him.

Swallowing hard, he turned away. They were all making a fool of him, punishing him. He should never have come.

How the hell had he thought he could overlook the fact that the woman he was in love with loved another? He wanted all of her; mind, body and soul. He had no room in his life for Jeff as well. He couldn't share, not this time. So it had come down to all or nothing. And by the little scene in front of him, he guessed he'd picked the card with nothing.

"I can't do this," he whispered hoarsely before walking back into the house.

What other option was he left with now? He'd already confirmed he couldn't live without her. And he certainly couldn't kill Jeff like he wanted to.

He was already by the door when he stopped himself, when he let his anger take him over.

He'd been to hell and back without Rae, he'd be damned if he was going to let some face-paint loving freak send him back there again. And he'd be damned if the last half hour he'd spent with the terrifying Dead Man had been all for nothing.

He was going to take his shit back, whether Jeff liked it or not.

Angrily, he stormed back down the hall and into the kitchen. Through the windows he saw Rae standing exactly where he'd left her less than a minute before; it only took him a second to turned her around and crush her body to his.

"If you think for one second, that I'm going to let you walk out of my life again, you've got another thing coming," he growled, just before he crushed his lips to hers.

* * *

**I don't know. Not my best work, but it'll have to do. rlyconfsd71, VASHORTYGIRL, Cena-holic8, Legacy-Chick, Crystal Vanzie, Orton Addict thank you. I really appreciate the time you take to follow this story and review.**

**Will the truth finally come out now? It better coz I'm tired now. Lol. Jeff only came back to push Randy into action. I feel bad for him though. I liked them together. Oh, well...**

**And what did Randy have to talk to Mark about? Hmm.**

**And I've noticed there's been a complete lack of hot body contact lately. I will try my very best to rectify this!**

**Keep rockin.**


	35. Chapter 35

**AN: No, this isn't the last chapter. Sigh. But the new story has started writing itself. Look out for it real soon.**

"Eeewwww!" both Timmy and Drew screeched, covering their mouths before falling into a fit of giggles at their dad's feet.

Their dad watched them for a few seconds before turning his attention back to his daughter. He had no doubt in his mind that the stupidity that had covered both Rae's and Randy's eyes like a wet blanket was about to be lifted very, very soon. This movie was about to have a very indecent ending. Not that he wanted to witness that punk violating his daughter. He probably would have stopped it if the punk in question hadn't just spent an enlightening half hour or so with him. And he had to say, Randy begging was quite a sight. And he'd quite possibly acquired a babysitter for as long as he wanted and a nice new car. What? He'd got carried away. The boy had literally offered his soul, damn fool. All for nothing, as well. Rae was Randy's, whether he approved or not.

"Sara," he called quietly, beckoning his wife from where she stood with a smile on her face right by the table they had set the drinks on. "Maybe you should take the boys out for ice-cream or something."

"Maybe I should," Sara giggled, probably having come to the same conclusion as he had. "Come on, boys."

The boys jumped to their feet eagerly and followed their mother to the house, stopping only briefly to let out another, "Eeeewww," as they passed by the still kissing couple.

Of course, Rae and Randy didn't even hear them. He put his drink down and wondered if he had to go over to them and prise them apart. They seemed to have forgotten that there were other people there with them.

Hardy sat himself on the lawn right next to his chair, looking on. His face was expressionless, so he couldn't quiet tell what the young man was feeling. It couldn't be easy, but he knew the boy was a lot stronger than he thought he was. Jeff had let go of his love for Rae a while ago, he just hadn't realised it yet. And if he could find a way to look past their time together, he would be the best kind of friend for his daughter. Jeff had proved himself invaluable, even to him, over the past few weeks.

"You alright, Hardy?" he asked.

"Yeah," Jeff answered. "But maybe I should go. I'm feeling a bit awkward now; I mean, Rae _did_ kinda put me in the middle of all this."

He just waved that off. Jeff being there was a good thing. Who knew what kind of horrors were going through Randy's mind because of it? He knew Randy wouldn't have made a move like that if he hadn't seen the Enigma there, not if the carefully laid out plan he'd told him about earlier was anything to go by. Courting Rae? While that was a good plan for other couples, he thought that ship sailed a long time ago when it came to Randy and Rae. They had shared a bed and God knew what else for years before they had finally got together in every sense of the word, they knew everything about each other. While courting would be a good way to get the talking again without the complication of sex, he knew that the moment they _did_ talk and they realised the truth, that horny little bastard would drag her to his bed as soon as he could.

Well, everyone knew what they said about the best laid plans.

"Stay. Grab a drink," he said to the younger man. "If we're lucky, this shit ends today."

"You think Randy will do the right thing?" Jeff asked.

He could only smile at that as he brought his cold drink to his lips.

"I _know_ Randy will do the right thing," he said finally.

Jeff's eyes widened as he looked back at the couple.

"Good for Randy," Jeff said genuinely. "He's a good guy; he'll take care of her."

"I know. I just wish he'd take his tongue out of her damn mouth and get on with it, already."

* * *

"I knew I should've made popcorn," John muttered as he watched the steamy kiss his friends were sharing.

"I know you're happy for your friends and all, but I don't really feel like watching a make-out session so soon after breakfast," Shane chuckled.

"This is more than a make out session, my friend," John stated, raising his beer in salute to the couple even though they'd probably forgotten they had an audience. "It's the day we all get to breathe again. He bought her flowers."

"He bought her flowers?" Ria asked. "Wow."

"How is that a big deal?" Shane asked.

The other occupants of the table looked at him as if he'd grown a couple of horns.

"Have you met Randy?" Matt chuckled.

"He just stays well clear of stuff like that; just in case the girls get the wrong idea," John explained.

"Plus the fact that he finds it completely unnecessary," Ria added.

"Yeah. He thinks he doesn't need any help getting himself into any woman's bed," John chuckled.

"Well, he obviously _did _this time," Matt stated, looking on at the couple.

John shook his head.

"He didn't do it to get into her bed. He's courting her."

"People still do that?" Shane laughed.

"If they're trying to do it by the book."

"Do what?"

John just smiled.

* * *

He broke off the kiss before it sent him completely over the edge, fighting the urge to just carry her upstairs. Rae's eyes were still closed; her face upturned to his and her breathing was heavy. Her hands were holding onto his shirt as if, if she let go she would fall, or float away.

She'd worn a little white wife beater and hipster jeans, and his hand had found its way under her top, up her naked back. He trailed his fingers over the smooth skin and turned her into a quivering mess in his arms.

He smirked a little, getting some of his confidence back because of her reaction to his simple touch.

_Just wait till I get you alone, sweetheart_, he thought, just as those big blue eyes slowly opened to look up into his.

She wanted him. Real bad. The way he wanted her. His grip tightened around her as he fought the urge again. He had a lot to put right before he touched her the way he wanted.

"Tell him to go," he whispered.

He had to make Rae choose. This ended today, one way or another. He couldn't do it anymore.

"What?" she whispered, still dazed by his kiss.

"Jeff. I don't want him here," he explained.

That seemed to get through to her because she frowned a little before shaking her head.

"What? Why?"

"Because he shouldn't be here. He had his chance and he blew it," he growled.

"Randy, Jeff is welcome here whenever he wants," Rae stated.

He let her go to slowly turn around to the man in question, who was watching the proceedings along with everyone else. Damn nosy bastards! And the man hadn't even said a word in objection to him kissing his woman. What a pussy. If... no, _when_ Rae was his, if another man touched her like that, he'd go Bruce Lee on their ass.

"I don't want him here," he repeated firmly, his eyes still on Jeff.

"No," Rae answered easily.

Too easy for his liking.

He saw Jeff's lips lift in a smirk when he heard this and his anger got the best of him.

"What do you mean, no?" he snapped, twirling around to face her again.

"You can't just ask me to kick my friend out for no reason," Rae stated.

Friend? Was that what they were calling each other now?

"Why is he even here? He doesn't see you for a month and all of a sudden, now of all times, he just waltzes back in here?"

"You've done exactly the same thing! And he was just passing through... Randy, what the hell is this?" Rae asked. "I don't need your permission to have anyone here. Especially not now, since you practically threw your half of the house at me."

"Yeah, I get that," he said with a frustrated sigh. "But if he's here, I can't... "

He'd been about to admit he couldn't think straight with the anger clouding him, the hot rage caused by Jeff. He couldn't think past that to say what he needed to say to her.

"Just tell him to go. Please," he pleaded in almost a whisper.

"No. Jeff was there for me when you weren't. I'll never turn my back on him."

That simple statement brought his guilt flooding back, so much so he had to look away from her.

"Look, I'm sorry about that. I know I can't make it up to you, but I need you to understand what I was going through__"

"And of course, everything, even _my_ finding out I didn't have cancer, _my_ surgery, was all about you, wasn't it?" Rae cut in, shaking her head.

Where the hell was that coming from? His eyes narrowed on her face and he realised whatever ground he'd gained by that kiss he had completely lost by opening his mouth. How could she just turn around and call him selfish after the shit she'd pulled on him? Getting with him because she thought she was dying? Toying with his feelings? You couldn't become any more selfish than that!

"Listen... maybe you should leave. I have guests, I can't really do this now," Rae said, avoiding his eyes the entire time.

Was she feeling guilty? Was she looking at the monster she'd created and wondering why the fuck she'd bothered?

"No_, I_ want to do this now."

She gave him a shallow meaningless smile, something she'd never ever done before.

"It still _is_ all about you, isn't it?" she asked. "I'll call you later. Just leave before I lose my respect for you."

Respect? Was she really going to throw that at him and expect him to walk away?

"Says the girl who thinks she gets respect by opening her legs wide open," he sneered.

Of course, he knew even as the words were coming out of his mouth how he would never be able to take them back. Dammit!

Rae gasped, and he was sure he heard a few more gasps in the background, but the other people didn't matter to him at that moment. Then he felt a sharp sting on his face as her palm connected with his cheek. Hard.

"Baby... I'm sorry. I didn't mean__"

He took a step towards her but she stepped back, obviously not even wanting him near her.

"I don't know where that came from. I didn't mean it. I think we just need to sit down and ___"

He tried to hold her again, but this time she flinched. It speared him right through his heart. He didn't want her disgusted with him; he didn't want her to throw him out. He loved her, dammit! He was supposed to be making her love him back, instead these ugly words were coming from his mouth of their own violation, making her hate him.

"Please..." he tried again. "I'm so sorry baby."

"Just go, Randy. I get it. You've just made everything perfectly clear to me," she whispered.

He saw her eyes glisten with unshed tears as she avoided his eyes again. It was all going so wrong. He'd been walking on air only a short time before, now his desperation had probably cost him the one thing he wanted the most in the world.

He ran his hands through his hair, getting frustrated. He'd just blown his only chance. He could tell. Even her demeanour had changed, like she thought putting distance permanently between them was probably the only thing she could do.

"I didn't mean it. I respect you a whole lot, more than I respect anyone else. You know that."

Rae shook her head, putting her hand up to indicate she didn't want to talk about it anymore.

"Leave."

She looked him straight in the eye this time and he saw that she really meant that. She was kicking him out. And he didn't see a chance in hell of getting back together with her again.

His anger reared its ugly head again, completely ignoring the fact that he had brought this on himself as he narrowed his eyes on her. Who did she think she was to push him away like that, to willingly condemn him to a fate worse than death? He couldn't survive without her. He'd tried. It wasn't possible. Fuck her if she thought he'd go down without a fight!

"You're choosing Hardy?" he asked, his voice deceptively calm.

"Yes," Rae snapped.

He could tell she was also getting angry. Her eyes darkened, turning a very cold blue and he was certain she was dying to punch him in the face. He deserved that, but did she really need to throw Hardy in his face like that, knowing how he felt? Choosing Hardy? Well, they'd see about that.

He stepped closer to her again, the muscles in his neck twitching as his vein popped out; and smirked when he realised she'd backed herself up against the wall. He placed his hands on the wall behind her, on either side so she had nowhere left to run.

"Well, guess what... _sweetheart_," he whispered with his trademark evil smirk. "It really doesn't matter what you want. I've given you what you want for a whole fucking month and I'm sick of it. So from now on, it's what _I_ want that counts."

Did ice burn? Rae's eyes narrowed angrily on him and the icy daggers they threw at him seemed to burn. His psycho persona had never really worked on her. She always got her way whether he got angry about it or not. Well, not this time.

"Get the fuck out before I throw you the fuck out," she hissed at him.

He chuckled at that. God, she was so hot when she was angry... If only he could just push her against that wall, rip her clothes off and show her who was driving this ride now. They were going where _he_ wanted them to go. Fuck Hardy and fuck anyone else who tried to stand in his way... even Rae. Couldn't she see it? Couldn't she see he was the only man for her?

"I mean it, Randy. I can't... you need to go," Rae said as her eyes looked away from his.

He lifted a hand up to trail the side of her face; her gorgeous, perfect face even as he slowly pushed himself against her body. He was still very aroused, and that probably wasn't a good idea, but he was damned if he wasn't going to do what _he_ wanted from now on. The little gasp she let out at the contact told him everything he needed to know. She still wanted him.

"You don't get it, do you?" he whispered, bringing his face only an inch from hers. "I'm done sacrificing myself. I'm done living in hell."

He saw the confusion flash across her face as she turned her head to look at him again. He almost chuckled. Had she thought the situation wasn't that bad? Had she thought that, in time he would get over her and come back 'home' so they could play happy families again, with her rubbing her torturous body all over his as they shared their 'platonic' bed?

Maybe it was time to educate her a little. It was only fair, wasn't it, to let her know why exactly he was taking her from Hardy?

"That's right, sweetheart. I'm done. Do you have any idea the hell you put me through? What thinking of Jeff and you together did to me? His hands on your body, yours on his... you moaning underneath him, screaming _his_ name..."

He looked away from her to push that picture out of his head, missing the little frown that formed on her face. Before, that image had constantly broken his heart. Now, it just made him so angry. Noone had a right to touch _his_ Rae. Not even her boyfriend.

"Like I said," he said, looking into her eyes again. "It's what I want that counts. And. I. Want. You."

Rae gasped, bringing her hands to her mouth. Was she shocked? Was she thinking what a fucking nightmare this was all turning into? Was she thinking how awkward he was making things for her and Jeff? Good.

He chuckled again as he turned his head to look at the man in question; who, oddly, was now just lying back with a beer in his hand like he was watching a movie. The fuck!? Had he no balls whatsoever? Taking Rae from him was going to be easier than he'd thought!

He turned his attention back to Rae. Her eyes were glistening now, like she was about to cry. Yeah, he'd cry too if he was her and had a boyfriend like Jeff. Pathetic pussy!

"I spent day after day, night after night just longing for you; and knowing u were so close wrenched my heart out. I thought I was dying, Rae. I'm not going through that again. So go ahead. Choose that freak. He's still not coming anywhere near u while I've got a breath in my body," he hissed.

"I don't... I don't understand. I thought..."

Her voice trailed off as this time a tear escaped her eye. He couldn't help himself; he had to wipe it away. Her tears always made him weak. If she stood there right now with tear tracks down her face, telling him she wanted them to have a threesome with Hardy, he'd probably say, 'Anything for you, sweetheart.' But that shit wasn't happening. Not today, not ever!

"No? Well, picture this. You open your eyes in the morning... I'm there, my head on the pillow right next to yours. At the breakfast table... I'm right there. You decide to go shopping, maybe, or catch a movie... I'm right there. I'm going to fucking stalk you; haunt you till that pretty boy is no longer on your mind. I'm not going anywhere sweetheart. I refuse to be without u any longer. So if you care about your boyfriend at all, you'll tell him to get the fuck out of here while he still can. Tell him to back the fuck off because I'm never letting you go. And if I have to lay him down to make him understand then I will."

Of course he wouldn't go that far. But when he was angry things just came out of his mouth. Mark was listening to every word, it was a wonder he hadn't thrown him out already. If he, along with all the other men that were there, were to do that then there would be nothing else he could do to get Rae back. His life would be over.

Shit! His life would be over.

His anger dissolved immediately.

He turned away from her, finally releasing her from her imprisonment as he started pacing in front of her, running his hands through his hair as he thought of the damage he had probably done to his life. He should have just gone home. He should have just waited until he knew Hardy was gone then come back to 'woo' her. Now all he'd done was probably scare her off by acting like a possessive, obsessive fucking psycho. Fuck!!

"I bought you fucking flowers. I had a whole week planned of things I was going to do for you, things I was going to buy for you. Little things, you know, like that picnic by the creek we never got to take. Watching the sunset together. Having breakfast on the roof of some hotel while we wait to watch the sun rise. Things I know you love doing," he muttered, still pacing.

He was rambling now, but it didn't matter. He was fucked anyway.

"I was going to take you out to dinner. Lunch. Everything. I was going to go dancing with you, all night like we usually do. Anything you wanted. I bought a ring..."

He took the box with the offending object - a slim gold ring with a small diamond, just the way he knew she liked them – out of his pocket and opened it. It had cost him an arm and a leg but when he'd bought it that morning he'd thought it was worth it. Now it was just a symbol of his broken dreams.

"I was going to find the right time...maybe over dinner, maybe on a beach somewhere while the sun set behind us. I even spent a terrifying half hour with a Dead Man, begging for your hand; which, by the way, did not come cheap. You need to have a word with your dad and tell him he's _not_ cool. Not cool at all."

He stopped pacing and muttering to look over at the Dead Man. Taker just smiled and raised his beer to him again. He was probably not throwing him out because he was doing a better job of digging his own grave all by himself. He looked over at John and saw him sitting forward in his chair like he didn't want to miss anything, a bag of chips in his hands as he munched away. The man who'd always had his back was now just watching him fall flat on his ass and enjoying it.

He sighed and turned back to Rae, not even daring to look her in the eye. He was afraid of what he'd see there. He was afraid to see the monster he'd become in her eyes.

"I'm sorry. If you want to be with Jeff I won't stand in your way. I love you Rae. More than anything. I always will. And I want you to be happy. If being with Jeff makes you happy... then I'll be happy for you."

So this was how his story ended? From being on such a high to going to the lowest of lows? He had just officially lost the one thing that kept him alive. And there wasn't a damn thing he could do about it.

But then the most amazing thing happened. Instead of trying to get away from him, instead of running to Jeff to laugh about how much of a psycho he'd turned out to be, her shaky hand came up to palm his cheek. And she was smiling. Her face was full of tears now, but she was smiling.

He didn't get it. Had she not heard him threaten her boyfriend? Had she not heard his little psychotic rant? Was she feeling sorry for him? He didn't want her pity.

"I... I can't be your friend anymore, Rae," he whispered, trying not to lean into her hand. "It'll kill me. I have to move... to be away from you."

"Randy... Jeff and I haven't been together since my birthday," she whispered, holding his eyes.

"I know, but... Wait. What?"

* * *

**It just won't end. Dang! Had to stop it there coz it got too long, put the rest of this (the juicy part!) in the next chapter – which, by the way, is just refusing to come out the way I want it to. I know I've said this before, but I really mean it this time. Next chapter is it!**

**Big shout out to LadyWTF (I'm her first. Ha ha!) Thank you very much for this honour. Virgil-t-stone, ShannonxMoore'sxLover, alana2awesome, Cenaholic8, alethea293, hotpocketbandit, wwelover1995, perfectly., Bingobaby, LegacyChick and Orton Addict, you have my gratitude as always. Alethea293, I know you still read this, you said it was written heroin, and am so glad you're an addict! Hope you enjoyed your fix! Bingobaby, some hot action coming your way soon! Orton Addict, I've hinted a little at what happened btwn Taker and Orton, but I'm going to fit in a flashback next chapter. (Hmmm. Somehow I see that chapter having to be broken up into 2 again. Dammit!)**

**Enjoy, people, and don't forget to review.**

**Love always,**

**Baybie.**


	36. Chapter 36

**A/N: So I've completely finished this but just thought I'd be a review whore and wheedle as many out of you as I can... no, just joking. It got too long again. 20 pages. So here's the first 10. The really last chapter will be posted when I get a response for this. But it's there waiting for you, so hurry...**

Had he just heard her right? She hadn't been with Jeff since her birthday? But that was impossible!

He paused, frowning as he looked into her eyes. For the first time in a long time, he could actually read what they held. She was telling the truth! Well, son of a... Jeff hadn't even touched her; he'd been a dick for nothing! That completely explained why Jeff wasn't trying to beat him down.

"I... I don't understand. I thought... I heard you... saw you," he stuttered, a million thoughts and questions whirling in his head.

Rae shook her head before he could get anything out.

"He's my friend. I haven't wanted to be with anyone other than you," she whispered.

"But... you only got with me because we thought you were dying," he whispered.

"I thought that was the reason _you_ got with _me_," Rae stated. "I thought you didn't love me like that, that you'd only felt sorry for me. I felt like I'd pushed you away by loving you..."

Then full understanding dawned on him and weakened his limbs. His strength was literally sapped from his body as he slowly lowered to the ground, taking in the sheer extent of his stupidity. All the pain... all the tears... for nothing? Instead of celebrating the second chance they'd been given when they'd got the news of her real diagnosis, he'd just let his insecurities eat him up. Fuck!

And now, through his behaviour, Rae probably wouldn't look at him the same again.

He could only look at her, look at the perfection in front of him as he felt like the biggest dick to ever walk the earth. He'd said some very unforgivable things... he'd made her cry... Fuck, she'd probably been crying over him, last night. Running that conversation in his head now, with her apology and her defeated attitude, it all made sense. They'd been talking about the same thing, only it had been so, so different.

"Fuck me!" he whispered.

He heard a round of applause and turned his head to see John on his feet, mock clapping. He'd forgotten they were being watched. And was Shane recording this? Shit, the boy had his phone pointed at him, chuckling.

"Finally, he gets it!" John said. "Someone give him a medal!"

"John!" Ria hissed, pulling John to sit back down.

He swallowed, ignoring everyone else as he looked back up at Rae. How would he even begin to make up for this? Would she still want to be with him after he'd showed her this very unreliable, untrusting and unrelenting side of him?

"I'm sorry," he said hoarsely. "I am so sorry."

Rae silently offered him her hand, which he gladly took as he let himself up.

"Let's go inside," she said. "We have a lot to talk about."

He nodded and followed, looking back at the people outside as he did. Taker smiled at him, and Jeff raised his drink at him, as if he was also giving him his blessing. He hoped to God the guy held no ill feelings towards him after his little display.

John gave him a smile and a nod as well before he turned around and allowed Rea to lead him into the house.

* * *

Mark watched his daughter and Randy walk into the house and let out a long sigh of relief. It was finally over. His daughter would be happy again, which was all he'd ever wanted for her. The past few weeks, with her cancer scare and her subsequent heartbreak had been killing him. His little angel deserved to be happy.

He turned his head to look at his young friend.

"You really alright?" he asked.

Hardy surprised him with a wide smile.

"I'm _so_ getting that video from Shane's phone," Jeff chuckled. "That was some fucked up shit!"

He laughed too. Hardy didn't know the half of it!

"I'm alright," Jeff continued. "I thought it would hurt, you know, watching them make up and all, but I'm actually very happy for her. She deserves this after what she's been through."

"That mean you'll be sticking around?"

"Yeah," Jeff answered with a nod. "I know my relationship with Rae was only for a ridiculous amount of time, but we connected on some level. She understood me perfectly, that's something I don't get a lot. It's had me thinking that maybe we'll be alright as just friends after all. And you guys have near enough become my family the past couple of months. You've let me into your home and shared your lives with me. When I was worried to death about Rae dying, it was so comforting being around you, being a part of you."

Mark put his hand on the young man's back and gave him a gentle pat.

"If it weren't for you, all of us here would probably have fallen apart. You have my eternal gratitude, Hardy, for what you've done for my family," he said. "I feel honoured to call you my friend."

Hardy looked up at him, clearly at a loss for words. He almost chuckled. He knew a lot of people felt intimidated by him so they stayed out of his way, so yeah, calling Jeff his friend would probably have shocked him.

"Stick your tongue back in your mouth, boy," he said, stretching his legs in front of him.

"I'm just.... wow. I thought you didn't even like me."

"I didn't," he answered. "Turns out you're good for more than just pissing me off at work."

Hardy laughed and looked up at him.

"I like you, too," he chuckled.

"Now, hold on. I didn't actually say those words," he said gruffly.

Hardy only laughed again as he laid himself back down on the grass.

"So are you going to tell me what Randy meant when he said you're 'not cool'?"

Now that brought a huge smile on his face again.

_o O o_

"_Please," Randy whispered. "I really need you to hear me out."_

_He studied the pathetic kid for a minute, taking in his tired eyes, the amount of weight he'd lost recently and the plea in his eyes. He'd felt like dragging the guy out of his mama's house and beating the shit out of him ever since they'd brought Rae home, but out of respect for Bob and Liz, he hadn't. That and the fact that Rae would probably not have forgiven him for it. _

_Some of his anger disappeared, realising Randy was just as tortured as Rae was... or had been. For some inexplicable reason, she was smiling again today. _

_Was it a coincidence that Randy was here? Was she smiling again because of him? Had they talked?_

_He stepped aside to let him in, hoping Randy would provide some answers. That was when he noticed the big bouquet of flowers. Randy never bought flowers. So maybe someone had finally knocked some sense into him._

_He saw the way the boy stood there for a second, watching the kitchen door as if all he wanted to do was go in there and take Rae into his arms. But Jeff was in there. Knowing Randy and how he'd reacted before whenever Jeff was involved, the boy would probably just turn around and walk out. Then he'd never get to know what this visit was all about, and they'd all probably be in for another long, torturous month watching Rae deal with that. He couldn't let that happen._

_So he grabbed the punk by the collar and all but threw him into the den before that could happen._

"_Talk. And make it quick," he growled, closing the door behind him. __"And if you waste my time, believe me you won't be walking out of here in one piece."_

_He watched the way the boy swallowed and realised this was probably a very important meeting. Randy had never been that scared of him before._

_With a little smirk, he circled the boy, much like a predator circled its prey and actually saw sweat forming on the boys brow._

"_Talk," he ordered again._

_Randy cleared his throat and made to say something, but he cut him off._

"_Shh," he growled before he sauntered easily to a chair. He turned it around so it was facing Randy and sat down; much like a king would when addressing his subjects._

_He let out another smirk, studying the boy who now seemed that much more nervous. Randy had brought flowers and cleaned himself up pretty good, so he could only assume he had come for his daughter. It was a day most fathers dreaded, but after what they'd all been through lately, this bit of good news was what they needed._

_But that didn't mean he had to make it easy for the Punk. He'd still broken his daughter's heart for nothing._

"_Well, don't just stand there like a fucking idiot; say something!" he growled._

_The boy jumped out of his skin and he smirked again, crossing his legs. This 'king' thing was pretty awesome._

"_I... um... I've come to apologise for the way I've been acting lately. Your daughter's always been my first priority and I fucked up by staying away when she needed me the most."_

"_Yes, you did. You _really_ fucked up. I wouldn't be surprised if she never forgives you for that."_

_He saw the panic in Randy's blue eyes and resisted laughing out loud. Yeah, when had his daughter _never_ forgiven Randy anything?_

"_I was a coward. I just couldn't watch her be happy with someone else. But I'm working on that."_

"_Yeah? What are you going to do? I mean, this is pretty serious stuff, boy. You can charm her all you want, but in her eyes you'll always be the snivelling little shit who walked out on her during the worst time of her life."_

_Randy had nothing to say to that. His shoulders hunched and he looked down at the flowers he held in his hand. _

"_I'm going to make it up to her," he whispered finally. "I have to. I can't let her push me out of her life."_

"_You walked out all on your own, boy," he reminded him. "Anyway, I'm sure you didn't drag me away from my breakfast for that. I don't care if Rae forgives you or not. And I'm not the one you need to apologise to, either."_

_Randy let out a breath and looked him straight in the eye. Well, at least for a few seconds. Not many people could do that for long, like maybe he thought he was some sort of demon who could get their souls and send them to hell.... Oh, wait... He was! Now that was funny, even if he thought so himself._

"_I've come here to ask for your daughter's hand," Randy said firmly._

_He was touched that in this day and age, Randy would actually think to throw him this courtesy with his only daughter. But he wasn't about to jump up and down to show him how happy he was. Kings didn't do that, especially kings who could send people to hell... _

_When he would have let out a tear or two that his daughter was finally going to be happy with the man she loved after all the bullshit she'd been through, he started laughing instead._

"_My daughter's hand? Have you lost your damn mind?" he chuckled, when his fake fit of laughter came to its end._

"_I love her," Randy piqued. "I can't go on without her."_

"_You think she'll actually marry you? Randy, you've proved yourself to be the most unreliable person in her life___"_

"_I know... I just... I need her. I didn't think it was possible to feel like this, but I really need her with me, Mark. I haven't been able to eat, sleep, anything."_

"_Well, I can see that. You look like something a dog threw up," he growled._

_Randy's free hand immediately went to his clean-shaven face then his shirt._

"_Think I should change?" the boy asked, starting to panic again._

"_Probably," he said grimly. "That shirt just isn't you."_

_The boy's cocky assurance had been lost somewhere along the line, which made a change from dealing with the arrogant punk he was used to. It made messing with him just so fun. Still, it was a sorry sight to witness._

"_She won't marry you," he stated._

"_I can change. I can be everything she wants me to be, whatever she wants me to be...." Randy said hastily, taking a step forward towards him as his eyes pleaded with him. "She just needs to give me a chance."_

"_And how are you going to make her do that?" he asked, then for the hell of it, added, "It's not as if she wants you around her or anything, or she needs you like you so pathetically need her. I actually think she's trying to put this whole mess behind her so she can move on."_

_That rattled the poor boy more than anything else he'd said so far. Randy was looking downwards, but he was certain he saw unshed tears glistening in his eyes. Shit, he laughed to himself. Love sure turned people into fucking idiots._

"_Don't waste my time, boy. What are you going to do?" he barked out._

_He almost chuckled when Randy jumped out of his skin._

_The boy took a piece of paper from his back pocket, his hands shaking as he came forward and held it out to him._

"_I wrote it down," Randy mumbled._

_Probably so he wouldn't forget when he was paralyzed with fear. A smirk appeared on his mouth again at that thought as he watched the younger man trying to compose himself. He didn't make it easy, though, because he let him hold the paper out for a few minutes, not even looking at it._

"_Mark... Please," Randy pleaded silently._

_With a sigh, he snatched the paper out of Randy's hand and started reading._

_Flowers, jewellery, picnics, dinner, lunch, clubbing, movies, theatres, walks on the beach, take her to her favourite shows....._

_It was a really long list and there wasn't a thing on it that his daughter wouldn't be thrilled to do. The boy was going to court her! The boy was trying to worm his way into her heart! All for nothing, too, as his daughter was already so deeply in love with him._

_Silly little boy, too stupid to open his eyes; too blinded by insecurities of his own making._

_And too easy to mess with._

"_What is this crap?" he asked roughly, crumpling the piece of paper in his large fist._

"_I'm going to take her out. I hope that by spending time with me, she'll maybe start to feel something for me, too. Then when she's comfortable around me again, I'll propose," Randy explained._

"_It would be a good idea, if it wasn't so full of holes," he muttered, throwing the paper at him._

"_It won't work?" Randy asked, panicking again as he picked the paper up. "What should I do?"_

"_You actually think I'll help you?" he asked in mock indignation. "She's my daughter! And you've proved yourself the most untrustworthy, unreliable, selfish prick, I'd be ignoring my duty as her___"_

"_Yes, you've already said! I got it. I made a mistake," Randy cut in angrily, then he seemed to remember who the hell he was talking to because shock registered in his eyes before he swallowed and looked away._

_He smirked in satisfaction._

"_I've never let her down before," Randy continued. "You know that. You know she's always been my priority. And I know this was the worst ever time to decide not to be there for her. But I love her, Mark. I'm willing to spend the rest on my life making it to her. I've come here for your blessing. Out of my respect for you, I've extended this courtesy. But it's only right you know that even if you don't help me, even if you refuse to give me your daughter's hand___"_

_The boy looked up at him again, and this time he saw determination. It pleased him._

"____ I'm taking it, anyway," he finished._

_Now, that statement would have scared a lot of people, or at least alerted them of Randy's mental state, but he was saying nothing he hadn't already known he would say. The fact that Randy had even had the guts to knock on the door had told him the boy wasn't going down without a fight anyway. And if he'd had even a bit of doubt about his daughter's feelings for this boy, he'd probably have kicked his ass for that._

_He stood up to his full height, almost seven feet to the boy's 6"4', and slowly walked to put his face an inch away from his._

"'_Take her', Randy? 'Take her'? How the hell are you going to do that?" he growled._

_Randy swallowed but he didn't flinch. This pleased him even more._

"_You can't scare me, Mark. I love her more than my own life. There's nothing you can do or say to me that will make me stay away from her."_

_He turned away to hide another satisfied smirk. Of course there was nothing he could do._

"_Okay. Lets say I decide to give you my blessing. What's in it for me?"_

"_Huh?"_

_He whipped back quickly to face the boy._

"_My daughter is very, _very_ dear to me," he continued. "If I trust you to be with her, when you've so thoroughly proved yourself unworthy, it'll be stupid on my part. I think she'll probably even hate me for this intrusion. But maybe you can make it worth my while."_

"_You want me to pay you off?" Randy asked incredulously._

"_That's such a dirty way of putting it," he stated with a smirk. "But yes. Something very dear to me for something very dear to you."_

"_Like what?"_

"_Your soul," he answered easily._

_Randy chuckled for a second then stopped abruptly when he realised how serious he was._

"_My soul? Come on, Mark, that stuff is for tv. You can't own anyone's soul."_

"_Oh, but I can," he stated easily. "If you want to be in my daughter's life, I will own you for as long as she has you. You're to make yourself available to do whatever I wish. You'll be my... bitch, so to speak."_

"_And if I refuse?"_

"_Then I'll make it my business to make sure that Rae doesn't take you back. And you know I can do that. Rae and I have become quite close since you ... deserted her."_

_He couldn't help playing the guilt card again. _

_Randy's eyes flashed at him for a second before he said, "I'd give anything for another chance. So go ahead. Take my 'soul'. Just don't stand in my way."_

"_I don't like your tone, or your attitude. Don't make me make you pay for that."_

_Immediately, Randy looked away. He smirked again._

"_So I was thinking," he continued, "Drew and Timmy are getting to be such a handful. You'll have to take them some days, so Sara and I can spend a bit of quality time together. I was thinking maybe this weekend."_

"_Okay."_

"_What, no arguments?"_

"_I want to be with Rae," Randy stated easily._

_He looked at the boy with a cocked brow. Maybe babysitting was too easy._

"_If she agrees to marry you, I would like you to take her name."_

"_What?!"_

"_Randy Calaway. None of that hyphen bullshit. She's my oldest child, by the time Timmy and Drew are old enough to marry, I might not be alive. So you will take her name. My name," he said easily, looking the boy in the eye._

_Randy swallowed but didn't flinch._

"_Okay," Randy said again, this time almost gritting his teeth._

_Hmmm. He _did_ want this real bad, didn't he? Of course he did. That's why he had put himself in this position. Ha!_

"_I don't know, though," he continued. "Maybe you're not worth this. I mean, think of what Rae will say to me if she finds out."_

"_Mark, please. Let me be with her. I'll never hurt her again, I promise."_

_He looked at the young man as if he was sceptical, which immediately had him panicking again. Then the boy went down on his knees, his hands together, begging. This actually managed to shock him. He hadn't expected that at all. The Legend Killer on his knees... begging like a little bitch!_

"_I'll do anything, give you anything," Randy pleaded. "Just... I'm begging you, Taker, don't make this harder for me."_

_He should have had a damn camera. Noone was ever going to believe this._

"_I swear I will never give you a reason to regret it. I'm on my knees, Mark. Please."_

_Smirking, he casually put his hands in his pockets and walked around the boy to sit back on his 'throne'. Then he laced his fingers together and looked away from the sorry sight, mostly so he wouldn't burst into laughter and ruin all his work._

"_I'll be the best husband... I'll treat her like a queen," Randy continued. "Please don't stand in my way, Mark."_

_He sprawled his long legs and leaned on his hand as if the whole conversation was starting to bore him._

_Randy, on seeing this, got to his feet and came forward quickly._

"_You wanted something that means something to me?" he said, rummaging through his pockets to pull out a set of keys. "Have my car. Everyone knows I love my H2."_

_Ooooh, now why hadn't he thought of that before? The H2 had been treated as part of the family from the day Randy had bought it!_

"_Your car means nothing to me," he said, letting out a tired sigh._

"_Just take it. Take everything I own. Make me your 'bitch'. Just promise you won't stand in my way."_

"_I suppose, since you've asked so nicely, I can't refuse," he smiled._

_Randy let out a sigh of relief, which was immediately replaced by a yelp of pain when he found himself roughly slammed against a wall._

"_If you make one wrong move, say one wrong word; if you hurt my daughter in _any _way... I _will_ kill you."_

_Now that wasn't an idle threat. The game was over. He had to make the punk understand that he wouldn't idly sit by the next time he decided to act like an idiot with his daughter._

"_Do you understand me?"_

_Randy swallowed and nodded his head._

"_Good. Now lets go."_

_He stood aside to let Randy out first and by a stroke of luck, the first person they saw was Rae. He couldn't help smiling in amusement as he wondered if Randy would let him keep his car._

o O o

"Let's just say, my future son-in-law convinced me very, very thoroughly that he's going to take care of my daughter," he laughed, in answer to Jeff's question. "Now, why don't you go over there and sit with people more your age?"

"If you want me to leave you alone, just say so," Jeff chuckled.

"Alright then. Fuck off," he growled before taking a sip of his beer.

* * *

**Some hotness coming right up. Waaay overdue, I think.**

**Any Jeff fans that weren't put off by me when I made him lose the girl who're still reading this? I'll dedicate my next fic to you. **

**Anyway, thank you for your reviews of the last chapter. I'll give you all individual shout outs at the end of the next chapter. That will be the real end, I swear.**

**Thanks,**

**Baybie.**


	37. Chapter 37

Rae's heart was beating so loud, hard and fast as she led Randy by the hand up the stairs to her bedroom. What she had thought had turned into the worst day of her life had suddenly turned into the best.

Randy loved her? And more than that, he actually wanted to spend the rest of his life with her? What a big mess they'd made of everything! If only they'd just talked to start off with, then none of this shit would have happened.

"Baby... I don't know what to say," Randy started when she'd closed the door behind her.

"Then don't say anything."

"What?" he asked; clearly puzzled.

There was no need to explain anything, at least not right then. She was still trying to get her head around the fact that he loved her....

"Do you really love me?" she asked, craving to hear those words from his lips again.

"Of course," Randy answered without hesitation. "I'm sorry I did all those stupid things to make you doubt me, but I couldn't live without you, Rae. I love you more than words can explain."

"And I love you," she whispered, walking forwards until she stood right in front of him. "I never stopped. I never cheated on you, or lied. I'm sorry. It was my fault, too, for just making assumptions. This has been just one big, very fucked up misunderstanding."

Her hand came up to the side of his face and he leaned into it. Was this shit really over? This shit that they had brought totally on themselves? She was almost afraid to believe she could be happy again, that he would be in his life again. She'd been foolish and almost ruined it by not talking to him in the first place, like John and Jeff had begged her to do.

"It was all my fault," Randy said, looking away before he swore under his breath and started pacing the way he had done outside.

She'd known him long enough to know he did this when he was extremely anxious.

"No, baby. It was mine. John told me what was happening, I should have believed him and come kicking your parents' door down," she said softly as she put her hand on his arm to stop him.

"But today... that shit out there... I was way out of line; I've probably scared you off now."

She chuckled a bit at that.

"Sweetie, you go psycho on me at least once a week. If that shit scared me, I'd never have been your friend for so long," she smiled.

He searched her eyes as if he was trying to see the truth of her words, then he let out the first smile she'd seen on his face since he'd discovered Jeff in the backyard.

"We do have a lot to talk about, Randy," she said, biting her lower lip, "but I'm not really in the mood to do a whole lot of talkin' right now."

She saw the way his eyes instantly darkened. God, she'd missed him! She'd come a long way in a short space of time, from going from bed to bed to craving just this one very sexy man. She couldn't help wondering if, had she not had the cancer scare, she would ever have realised how she felt for him. And if she hadn't got with Jeff, even if it was briefly, if she would have recognised these feelings as more than lust. And if she'd have had the guts to do anything about it if she had.

Randy stood a little away from her, still looking at her intensely, sending shivers down her body the way only he could. She was trapped in his gaze, falling deeper in his smouldering baby blues as he slowly came to stand right in front of her, towering over her as his tortured breath mingled with her own. He didn't even touch her but she could swear she came a little right there.

"I will never hurt you again, baby. I promise," he whispered.

"And I will never hurt _you_ again," she promised.

He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her so deeply and thoroughly she felt the earth moving at her feet. This man was her life, and she would never let him go ever again. She would never give him reason to ever doubt her love.

Slowly, her fingers found the bottoms on his shirt and started undoing them. She was trembling all over, feeling safe and loved again in Randy's arms; feeling things she had never thought she would feel again as her limbs weakened from feeling his lips on hers, his tongue dueling with hers. Finally, her hand found his flesh and they both let out a gasp at the contact. It was like a million sparks going through their bodies, connecting them, moulding them into one and envoking a whirlwind of emotion in every nerve in her body.

It had been way too long since she had touched him, and for once in her life, touching anyone else had been completely out of the question. Two months back, she would never have believed she would be in this position; in love, with only one man, willing to spend her whole life with him.

As if he sensed her thoughts, he gently pushed her away.

"Wait," he said breathlessly against her mouth as he broke the kiss.

"Randy___"

"Shh," he whispered, quickly kissing her again to silence her. "I've fucked everything else up. Let me do this right."

A bit dazed, she watched him search his pockets before he knelt down in front of her. Her hands went up to her mouth and she started tearing up when she realised what he was doing.

She had expected this, she had known it was coming from when he'd blurted it out and taken the box out during his little rant, but this moment was the most beautiful she'd ever known. Randy, the gorgeous sexy beast, on one knee in front of her, his shirt hanging open and revealing his toned stomach as he held up a perfect looking diamond ring.

"Rachael Taylor Calaway," he started, holding her gaze the entire time, "I can't imagine my life without you. I'm sorry it took your illness to make me admit how I really feel about you, and I regret thinking even for a second that I could let you go. I love you, Rae, and I will till the day I die. I've been yours since we met at the playground almost twenty-five years ago; will you be mine? Will you spend the rest of your life with me? Will you make me complete, and marry me?"

"Yes!" she cried without hesitation. "Yes, yes, yes."

Randy was on his feet like a shot, his eyes tearing up as well as he held out his hand for hers. The ring was a perfect fit, they both stood to admire it for a second before she was in his arms again, just holding him and relishing the feeling that he was his for always.

"You've made me so happy, Randy. I love you so much, and I promise I'll never make you regret taking a chance on me," she whispered.

"I'm not taking a chance, Rae. I'm a complete asshole at the best of times but you've put up with me near enough your whole life. You're it for me."

She believed him. She believed he'd never look at another woman again because she would never look at another person, man or woman, again. Whatever the future brought, whatever heartaches came, Randy would always be the one she would love forever. She knew life wasn't a rainbow, it wasn't all peaches and cream, but for that moment, it was.

"I love you so much, Rachael Taylor Calaway," he added. "So, so much."

He lifted her into his arms and walked over to the bed, carefully putting her down. His eyes never left hers for a second, even when he slowly slid his shirt off and threw it on the floor, even when he undid his belt buckle and his zip before sliding his jeans down his legs. For a moment he stood completely naked in front of her, like a scultpured god with his rock-hard abs, huge chest and large muscular thighs. His chest was rising and falling with his laboured breathing and his erection proudly twitching as her inspection of the prefect male specimen turned him on a lot more. Her mouth watered. Damn it, she still couldn't work out how he did this to her. How had she got to be the lucky one who had him for always? He was perfect. He was huge. He was hers. She was shaking, nervous like this was going to be her first time again as he slowly advanced on her. In a way, it was. They'd fucked up royally and were being given a second chance; at love, at life.

He lay on his side right next to her on the bed, his body searing hers, even though she was still fully clothed. She felt his rock hard erection prodding her thigh and moaned. She couldn't wait to feel him inside her again. Then his hand came up and he let his fingers trail her body from the side of her face, past the vein throbbing at the base of her neck, between her breasts, all the way down to the zip on her jeans. It felt like fire, irresistible fire; she couldn't help arching her body to his fingers as she helplessly moaned for more. Her body came to life, craving this touch that she'd only dreamed she would have again.

Then his lips started on the same trail, this time the contact more like larva that brought a little mewl from her lips even as it made her breathless. He was being so gentle, taking his time, kissing and licking a hot trail until he got to her jeans. Without breaking the contact, his hands went on either side of her and urged her to lift her hips up as he gently peeled the jeans and the panties she'd worn underneath them off, his lips following them as they kissed almost every inch of skin he exposed.

She was already beyond ready, but she could tell Randy had brought his 'A' game to her. He was going to tease her until she begged. Then he would tease her some more. She didn't think she could handle that, not when it had been so damn long since he'd touched her.

"Please..." she moaned, writhing underneath his lips.

But Randy only smirked as he came halfway up her body, completely ignoring where she wanted him the most. He lifted her wife beater up just a bit, and started his assault on her bare skin. She couldn't help but arch her back again, and he used this to his advantage as he pushed the top up her body. All the electricity, the weakening limbs, the blood rush that they wrote about in romance novels and movies... that was nothing compared to this. She had no word to describe the surge of feeling in her body. It had never been like this before, not even the first night they'd come together at Flair's party.

Again, he completely denied her breasts any attention even though he could probably see the hardened nipples straining against her lacy bra. He had the top off her in seconds, although it seemed like forever under his sensual assault. And all she could do was moan and groan and take it. And whimper helplessly.

The lacy bra went next, but still, even as her breasts were exposed, he was careful to avoid kissing her where she wanted him.

"Randy..." she tried again, this time bringing her hands around his neck an all but pushing him down.

He relented, but only for a second. Kissing one nipple, he gently took it in his mouth, earning a loud cry from her, and gently sucked it before letting it go. Then he blew on it. He was using all the tricks, driving her so wild she started to mumble his name, begging him to stop teasing her, begging him to fill her. He gave the other one the same treatment, this time she clawed his back as she tried to get her body closer to his. But he kept his pulsing erection away from her, only teasing her with it occasionally when he let it glide over her, moaning against her when she screamed.

And he wasn't done.

He went down her body again until he was only an inch from where she needed him. Her eyes had been shut, her lids heavy with desire, but she opened in protest when he stopped moving, only to drown again in his eyes. With her full attention, he went down on her. She didn't think she'd ever had it so good before, even when Randy had done it before her stint at the hospital. Her hands immediately left his body to clutch at the sheets beside her, her knuckles whitening.

He brought her closer to the edge, had her wriggling on the bed, screaming his name and throwing her head from side to side as she sort her release. His groans against her mingled with her own and she could feel his eyes still on her face, burning into her. She was so close to getting to the top of that peak, so close to going over the edge...

But then he stopped.

"You fucking bastard!" she swore breathlessly, earning a little chuckle from him before he moved his body up over hers.

He was just as breathless as she was as he hovered over her, positioning himself, his eyes still on hers.

"I love you," he whispered, just before he finally brought her the connection she craved.

The first thrust was just as slow as his whole assault on her senses had been, but he went in deep. She couldn't help screaming his name. In just one movement she completely lost her mind. The size of him, the feel of him as he slowly pushed himself all the way in... He filled her up so thoroughly, so completely.

"Baby... so good," he groaned, as he slowly pulled out of her again.

She screamed again, unable to put any words together as she pushed her hips up against him. He plunged into her again, and his cries echoed her own. It was too much for her. She'd never thought she'd ever see that day, but Randy inside of her felt so good it really was too much. She wrapped her legs around him, pushing him deeper and clenching herself tightly around him.

"Fuck!" he gasped when he tried to pull out again. "So tight... I can't..."

That was all she heard before she tipped over the edge and felt the most intense wave wash over her. And as she convulsed and tightened more around him, she heard him scream her name as he released his seed deep inside her.

Whoa, she thought to herself as she clung onto him for the exhilarating ride down. This had been more than making love, more than a deep connection. How could it be possible that something so good, so intense existed?

"Wow," Randy said breathlessly, still buried deep inside her as her muscles milked him for all he was worth. "I think we broke some kind of record."

"Orgasm in two strokes?" she chuckled.

"And quite a few others, I'm sure," he chuckled as he finally rolled over so she could lie on top of him.

"I missed you so much," she whispered to him, her head on his chest, listening to his erratic heartbeat as it struggled to slow down.

"And I missed you," he said. "I never want to go through that again."

They lay there for a while longer, still joined, enjoying the feeling of being back in each other's arms.

"There's a beautiful little baby that's been named after you," Randy said when he'd recovered enough to think. "Her dad told us to stop by whenever we wanted. I'd like to."

He explained the story, how that morning he had felt the first bit of hope since the whole nightmare had started, and that man had been the only one not to look at him as if he was crazy when he thought things would be okay.

She kissed him lingeringly, thanking God that he had been right, knowing his life would have completely sucked had she been taken away from him. She wasn't being big headed, only stating a fact. Had the shoe been on the other shoe, had it been Randy who'd been facing death in the face, she would have felt the same way.

"So I was thinking," he continued. "Small wedding on the beach or something, maybe just before the sunset? Sometime real soon?"

"Sounds perfect," she smiled. "I can't believe we're actually going to do it."

"And if I'm lucky, I might have just made you pregnant as well," he said smugly. "My shit is really potent!"

She hadn't gone as far as think about kids but the idea of carrying his child was suddenly very appealing.

"But just in case I didn't, I think we should try that again," he smirked.

She felt him harden again and shivered. She'd hardly had time to recover from the first time, but she was more than ready for him again. She kissed him softly.

"We have people outside probably waiting to find out how our 'talk' went," she chuckled against his lips.

"I'm sure they have a pretty good idea."

He stopped kissing her for a second as he said, "Maybe we _should _go downstairs. I have this inexplicable urge to have a word with your _Daddy dearest_."

* * *

But it was hours later when they finally walked out to the back, hand in hand and freshly showered. He had a stupid grin on his face that he knew would probably alert everyone what he had just spent hours doing with Rae, if they hadn't guessed already. Sara was back with the kids and Ethan had come to join in the fun as well. He was standing over the grill that someone had fired up and thrown steaks on. He was willing to bet that had been John's idea. Food was always John's idea.

Mark was sitting with his wife as they watched the kids run around and the rest of the guys were standing together, laughing and talking.

"Told you they wouldn't miss us," he said to Rae as they lazily walked over to her dad and step mum.

The first thing she did was kiss her dad and hold him tightly. Mark held her just as tight, it looked almost as if he was about to cry. Rae did actually release a few tears, which Mark tenderly wiped away as he smiled at her.

He felt like he was intruding on a special father-daughter moment. Mark was letting go of his little girl, trusting another man to love her unconditionally. It was a bittersweet moment.

"So?" Sara questioned when they finally let go of each other.

Rae let out a squeal, immediately forgetting how she had felt only seconds before as she showed Sara her hand with her shiny expensive engagement ring on it. Sara immediately fawned over it, the way only women did. He could only chuckle as he watched the two of them walk away to where Ria was standing with John. Amid the excited squeals and screams that came from Ria as the three of them huddled together over her hand, he turned his attention back to the man in front of him.

First he held his hand out, and a set of keys was placed in it.

The Dead Man then grinned at him in amusement.

"I don't think you're funny at all," he huffed as he sat himself down on the chair Sara had just vacated. "You knew what was really going on, and instead of setting me straight you let me make a fool of myself."

"I only regret not having a camera to video it," Mark chuckled.

"Don't you dare tell anyone! It's bad enough they saw me out here," he said quickly.

"Oh, somehow I doubt they'd believe me," Mark answered. "You beg? That's unheard of!"

"They'd believe it if it came from you."

"Yes, they would, wouldn't they?" Mark said.

The older man started laughing again. He scowled, turning away from him, his eyes immediately catching sight of Rae.

She was positively glowing, happier than he had ever seen her. And it was because of him. How had he wasted so much time, how had he been so blind when she had always been his one and only? He felt like kicking himself for it. It humbled him to no end that she was willing to spend her life with him after all he had done. Or not done.

Jeff was standing next to her, laughing with her as he examined her ring. He watched them for a moment and realised he had absolutely nothing to worry about. Whatever had been there before them was long gone. They just looked like good friends, friends who'd been through one hell of a roller-coaster ride that had cemented their friendship for a lifetime. He could live with that. After all, Jeff had been there when he hadn't. For that alone, he would forever be in his debt.

"You've made my girl really happy."

He turned from watching his beautiful angel to see that the Dead Man had stopped laughing and was looking at him seriously.

"I don't think she could be happier than I am," he said truthfully.

"You two have been forced to do a lot of growing up lately," Mark said. "I've always known she would end up with you, no matter how much I prayed it would be someone else."

"Hey!" he protested.

"What? I'm just telling you I never thought you were good enough for my daughter. In fact, you're still not good enough," Mark stated. "But she loves you and you've made her so happy, so I guess I have no say in it."

"No, you don't," he agreed vehemently, knowing if he had been in Mark's shoes, he would have picked someone else entirely for Rae.

"I'm just messing with you, kid. You were always my first choice. I just thought it'd be a while before I ever saw this day, you know, my daughter getting engaged and all," Mark said gruffly. "And I'm touched you even thought to ask me for her hand. I didn't think you would."

He patted the man on the back, realising the Dead Man was more affected by this than he had been letting on.

"I know how much she means to you. I had to be your middleman for years, remember," he said. "I respect you a lot, Mark. I'd have come to you to ask for your blessing anyway."

Mark looked up at him and smiled briefly. Then the tender moment passed as they turned to watch the others again.

"Will you still babysit?"

"No," he answered quickly without even taking his attention away from Rae.

"Will you still be my bitch?"

"Definitely not," he answered with a disgusted grunt.

"Will you at least consider taking my name?"

At this, he looked at the older man, who just easily bit into an apple he'd picked up from the table next to him and continued watching the boys playing in front of him.

* * *

"He doesn't love me. I know him better than anybody. You know nothing. Blah blah blah blah," John mimicked, his one hand on his hip and the other pointed and waving in her face.

"Shut up," she laughed as she went into her long ting friend and confidant's arms.

It was a shame she had given into herself and slept with him, she thought that had somehow tarnished the perfect friendship they'd had. But maybe she'd had to go through all of that, to get it out of her system before settling with Randy. Well, that was one way of looking at it. She certainly hoped it wouldn't come up and bite her in the ass in the future.

John held her tightly and kissed the top of her head.

"I'm so happy you finally have your heart's desire, baby," he said seriously. "That's all I've ever wanted for you two."

She smiled up at him, remembering how he'd always said how she and Randy were meant for each other.

"Thank you, John" she said, kissing his cheek.

"Are you sure about all this, though? That is one seriously psycho dude you're tying yourself to," Ethan laughed as he came to stand next to them. "I've just seen the video to prove it."

"He gets away with it only because he's so pretty," she laughed as he pulled her into a hug.

"Congratulations, sweetheart. You've been part of the family so long, I suppose we had to make it official," Ethan chuckled when he let her go. "And I can't thank you enough for putting Randy and all of us out of our misery. I was this close to dragging you over to our house and locking you two in a room together."

Well, she'd certainly learned her lesson. She hoped to God they never went through anything like that again, even if the make-up sex had been off the charts.

She accepted hugs from everyone else before she came to stand in front of Jeff. He was smiling at her, and she could see in his eyes he was being genuine.

"Told you it would work out, didn't I?" he said as he pulled her into a hug.

"That you did," she smiled.

Another time, another life, she would probably have settled down with this man. She truly hoped he would work his own issues out and find happiness for himself, he deserved it.

"I've never seen you so happy," Jeff smiled.

"Well, we met under quite unhappy circumstances, but I'm sure I was never this happy even before that," she said.

"It suits you," he stated. "I'm happy for you, I really am. I hope you and I can still be friends."

"After all the trouble I've brought to your door, I'm really honoured you'd still want to be my friend," she smiled at him. "Does that mean I can start calling you at stupid hours again?"

"Yes," he smiled. "As long as Randy doesn't threaten to kill me again."

* * *

He walked up to his brother, who immediately hugged him and congratulated him.

"Now, don't you feel like a dick for not listening to me in the first place?" Ethan teased.

"More than you know," he answered seriously.

"Mum and Dad will be here soon. I told them you had something to tell them, figured you'd want to do it yourself," Ethan said as he turned some steaks over. "And before I forget, I burnt your stupid letter, so Vince is still calling the house, asking when you'll be 'well enough' to return to work."

He had been willing to give wrestling up for the love of Rae, but he was so grateful his brother hadn't done as he'd asked. He would need his job to support his wife... and their babies. The thought of it made him smile.

"Thanks, bro," he said. "I owe you for that."

"What's taking you so long with my damn steaks? Some of us have to go to work in a little bit," John teased as he came to stand next to him by the grill.

"Do them your damn self then" Ethan laughed, knowing John would be the first to eat but the last to offer to cook anything.

He looked at his friend, the man who'd been through so much with him and Rae. It still bothered him that he'd slept with her but he understood why it had happened and he understood it would never happen again. Not if he had anything to do with it!

"You're lucky I'm in a good mood. Finally," John teased, directing this last bit at him. "Dude, it took you long enough! I hope you understand that after all this, if I'm not your best man there'll be huge problems."

"I'd guessed that much," he laughed before he accepted a manly hug of congratulations.

"You have a lot to answer for, though," John said after.

"I know," he said. "I'm really sorry."

"The sorriest!" John agreed, teasing him again. "Now, go on, I know you're dying to get to Rae. You and I can talk later."

He smiled at his friend as he continued on to where Rae was standing with Jeff, after pausing briefly for a hug from Ria and handshakes from Matt and Shane.

Jeff smiled at him as he put an arm around Rae and dropped a kiss on her lips.

"I, uh, I want to apologise for earlier," he started, looking at the man he'd unfairly blamed for his unhappiness.

"It's already forgotten," Jeff cut in, waving it off. "I understand where you were coming from. I saw it coming, actually, after that stuff at the hospital. But for the record, Rae and I can never be more than friends. We were both meant for someone else, and I knew this from the very beginning."

He nodded his head at the other man, happy for this reassurance.

"You're welcome here anytime you want, Hardy. I will never forget what you did for this family when we were going through that hell."

Jeff smiled at him and was about to turn away when he stopped and pulled something from his pocket.

"I almost forgot," he said, "I found this when I was doing my laundry the other day."

"Oh, my God! This is what started all this yet I haven't even thought about in a long time," Rae said as she looked down at it.

The famed Bucket List. He'd never got the chance to read it.

"I'm sorry I invaded your privacy by reading it," Jeff said. "But it opened my eyes to a lot of things. You're one lucky man, Randy. She's a keeper."

"I know," he smiled, looking down at the woman who'd taken pity on him and agreed to be his for a lifetime.

He'd done a lot of shit in his lifetime, but none of it had pushed her away. He'd be forever thankful for that. He couldn't believe how incredibly lucky he felt that he got the chance to spend the rest of his life with her, showing her every single day how much he loved her. She was his best friend, his lover and soon she would be his wife.

It was a new beginning, a new chapter in their lives. A second chance. He was never going to mess it up again.

"Do you have a pen?" Rae asked.

"No. Why?"

"Are you kidding me? When I do finally die, I'm going to make sure this baby has at least a thousand things on it, maybe even more. This bucket list was just pathetically short."

"Did it serve it's purpose, though?" he asked, turning her round in his arms so she was facing him.

"It made me realise what's important in my life," she answered softly. "You. Dad. My new family. My friends. So, yes. It served it's purpose."

He bent his head to kiss her softly.

"I know what you can write down on it next," he told her.

"What?"

"Become Mrs. Randy Orton and have his five babies."

"Five, huh?"

"Yes. Five. If you give me any lip I'll make it six," he smiled against her lips.

"Five it is then," she chuckled, kissing him again, oblivious to the other people around them again.

For the moment, all was well in his world.

* * *

AN/ So... this is it. I'm kinda sad now. So sad I've been thinking of a sequel, you know, when they'll have normal problems like cheating and stuff, instead of death scares. I don't know... We'll see.

So I would like to thank all of you for reading my work, even the ones that stopped reading/reviewing. I'll give myself a week or so till I post my next fic, so you can put me on your alerts if you want. I have a million ideas in my head and about the same number of started fics, I might just do two at the same time. Or maybe just one. We all know how bad I am at updating....

Anyway, my loyal readers/reviewers, you made this possible. I can't thank you enough **stripes31, Enigmatic Lotus Leaf, Cena-holic8, ShannonxMoore'sxLoverx, Mababy, LegacyChick, Bingobaby, Alethea293, LadyWTF (still chuffed I was your first!), Orton Addict, perfectly., OrtonCenaHardyChick, grleviathan, hotpocketbandit, virgil-t-stone, alana2awesome, wwelover1995, VASHORTYGIRL, Crystal Vanzie, HighFlyinJeffHardy, littleone999, purerandomosity, iluvmycena, AngelRose82, Breeface, Mrs Bridget Orton, gurl42069, VolcomStoneBabe, Lolita Smiles, ortonfanatic56, MiSSYMISSz, Roxxi-Dynamite, AuntieTwister08,HardyDXEvolutionChick, berrycharismatic, nothingsnobody, Angelus242, Mrs Bass-Malfoy, PepaMynt, BatistasPrincess, sailormama, LinKiePu, Neon Love, johncena1wifey, tly0227, The Niki Reid, MorphineGirl82, w8ing4rain, MissUnlucky, cameronchick_._** Thank you for my 216 reviews so far. Don't forget to review this one and let me know what you think of this ending.

Well, it's been fun. Catch you all next time.

Much love.

Keep rockin'.

Baybie.


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